Pray to whisky everyday!

As he eyed the strange woman, Deadpool frowned even more. He might have a healing factor, but who knew what kind of weird junk was in that machine. If the chick was supposed to be a waitress, she sure as hell wasn’t getting a tip. 

"Those chipmunks they-they are in league with the squirrels....damn scampery-furbags...don't get me started on the little teeth." Reaching down into the fridge shaky fingers found two bottles of generic beer.  "Here ya can have two...Mr.Frowny,Frown you aint causing ah ruckus or shoutin' at me like most ah these drunks."

"I have a name, or were you not paying attention?" He always did have a bad habit of insulting people who wanted to hurt him. He dodged the squirrels, disgusted by the dead rodents. "How about no. I do not make deals with untrustworthy, homicidal maniacs. I would, however, be glad to bring you some human food, as you call it, and we can talk, but I am not fighting you.”

The screams caught his attention, and he was gone in an instant. Grabbing onto the poor person, he teleported, again and again until they were at the closest body of water; the Central Park reservoir.

Once the flames were out, he pulled the victim to the surface. The poor man was badly burned, but alive. He wasted no time in addressing that thing again, instead teleporting as quick as he could to a hospital. It was only when he had his rescue safely in the hands of doctors that he went back, enraged.

Then again, he’d dealt with Wade’s outbursts on a regular basis. Maybe since he’d dealt with the murderous kind of crazy before, the regular ‘I broke into your house because I really like cookies’ kind of crazy didn’t seem all that threatening anymore.

Yeah.

"Argh....errrrrrr."

Nodding a slender pale finger pointed to the cats food bowl and to the fishy remnants inside. More strange hushed words gargled out of her throat as she attempted on the second question, was she supposed to get mad that he called her crazy? Her brain which was hard at work decided to let it slide, he was calm about the whole wall thing afterall so she felt it was only right  not to set his pretty coat on fire.

'I will heal you if you get hurt or killed, don't focus on survival just take them out.That is if you feed me enough of course, I am though always liable to just let you die if you fail me.'

Following his orders and example they where soon enough at the warehouse clambering atop an eve her eyes scanned down at her playthings. Letting her head hang limply as purple flames partially consumed her flesh "Playtime!" 

The first purifier stood directly below her dropping down on him jagged teeth sunk into his neck as she tackled him to the ground. The tangy scent of thick iron overcame her senses making her lose it at first blood. Giggling manically she tore off his clothing, the white cross on the front a symbol of their hatred and ignorance now lay in a puddle of blood and gore. Strips of flesh where torn and consumed by gnashing teeth. Ignoring his death cries  a sickening crunch and sizzle resounded through the warehouse as burning hands ripped out his spine, head still very much attached. "Heh..hehhehe...awww you lost too quickly." 

Her racket and his cries attracted even more purifies as she lobbed the remnants of her first victim at them. The head settling at their feet it's mouth wide agape as if letting out a silent scream. Horror marred the faces of the men and women standing in front of her, her own twisted wide smile greeted them back! 

'The heavily armored ones need to be disposed of first or they will end you before you can blink an eye.'

Taking Chaos' advice she concentrated focusing on the purifiers that would prove the biggest threat pouting as they internally combusted. "No fair, that was too easy!" The smell of burning flesh reminded her of a game she wanted to play that would come later. For now she scattered crawling into an air vent as bullets sprayed the warehouse floor.

Following the vent she dropped down into a filing room where one man quietly slumped over a desk in a drunken stupor sleeping peacefully, oblivious to the carnage and wailing sirens outside. She pulled the bottle of whisky from his hand taking a swig as metal wire was procured from her leather jacket pockets. Fastening it over his neck, hands and feet her work was quick and soon enough he was dangling from the roof, strings painfully cutting into his flesh, scarlet streams slowly trickling to the floor. "Tell me if you want to come down!" The man tried to scream through the layers of duck tape crudely slapped onto his face. "Ah can't hear ya! Ya wan't to stay there forever then!" Smiling and taking one last look at him Tiffy disappeared back into the vent crawling to the main room. Deciding to leave the man as a gift for Daken should he run into her special Pinata. 

The later part of her game was mostly a blur  as she set fire to everything in sight whilst feasting on the flesh,bones and sinew of the Purifiers. The warehouse was cleared the exception being a handful of stragglers whom where now running and hiding as Tiffy let out a loud yawn. "Owies..." She stated looking down at her body riddled with bullets and what appeared to be a combat knife lodged into her side. 'Don't worry about it I'll heal it.'

The actual plan, was to dump her in the middle of their base of operations as a distraction as he went sifting through files. Hungry for more and more information, they had the answers he needed. This bizarre child was to be his trump card. Like they’d know what t do with a cannibalistic pyromaniac.

Her smile faded though as she figured she wouldn't be driving, lips formed into a small defiant pout as she shouted excitedly at him almost childlike. "Fine, Fine LET'S GO! Ya better drive good run over lots of rabbits!" 

It wasn't long before she was sitting in the car giggling softly, muttering and trying not to set anything on fire. "When this is done can I eat yer license plate?" She stated salivating at the thought of the cold metal against her tongue. 

'Ask him what's the plan you idiot I don't want you going into this blind.'

"Why are you asking me permission? I don’t give a shit what you do just get the hell out of here and don’t draw attention to here."  No, if she went for him then that’d get people enquiring about him and he’d only just managed to clear up the ‘terrorist’ attack here a month back. His powers of persuasion were formidable but it’d take a miracle to sort this out. "Wait. No, you can’t go for him."

"…I think you may have the wrong.. animals for an aquarium." The hell could he even say to her? Wade was bad but never had he ever found himself so stuck for words out of a sheer level of discomfort before. "Hey!"

Making more hats she whimpered pushing them in his direction before walking on all fours over to the window. Hand pointing to a man and his dog walking on the pavement outside. "Ah can eat him? Not your shit?"

'Since when have you ever asked for permission imbecile? Jut eat the abysmal thing,make sure you play with your food first.'

But it was the girl he was faced with, she was too well dressed to have escaped a psych-ward but she looked like she needed to be in one. Let alone that incessant muttering. Surreal experiences he was gradually becoming used to but this was absolutely something else. He couldn’t tell if he wasn’t drunk or sober enough to deal with it.

"Yeah....yeah... was making pretty pet aquarium, didn't, didn't want them ta drown." A shaky deathly pale hand held out a larger paper hat the closest thing she had to an apology. 

'I forbid you to kill this one he contains the essence of an interesting old acquaintance of mine...He could prove useful to me in the future. Find someone else for me to feed off.'

Her other hand clutched her temple as the voice spoke within "Okay...okay leave this one... not eat him." She answered back quietly. 

As he popped his claws the girl just giggled softly before placing the plate back down too insane to be frightened of the dangerous man in front of her. "So mah hobby is licking things and yours are being a grump with a fabulous manicure! Ah dig that!"

As he threatened her she just shook her head raising a finger to her mouth allowing purple flames to dance from the tip. "Shhh ah'm tryin' to pray to mah god!" She stated sipping the whisky bottle in front of her. "Oh whisky, grant me warmth from this cold, rainy night! So ah may enjoy the roads on my big girl bike!"

The last bottle of mead had gone down with that perfect syrupy twinge. The burn had soon disappeared, but there was only so much running he could do from the issue. Sections of his memory were now as clear as day, tormenting him.

She looked concernedly towards a blood stained hessian sack "Just, just hold on okay!" Finding a glass bowl big enough she filled it up with water from the strangers kitchen as well as glitter from her pocket. Soon enough her project was complete "Soooo beautiful!" Her eyes gazing lovingly at her makeshift aquarium making sure everything was perfect!

A charred severed head, squirrels and broken starfish all morbidly bobbed around in the liquid. "Hmm....missing something, missing something...Ah ha! They need clothes or they'll get cold."

'It's true that is how these particular humans are meant to be used child!' Chaos encouraged it's host making the girl even more eager. "FOR SCIENCE!" The girl screeched excitedly. 

'How can you not notice? He wants to steal your nest!' Chaos whispered inside of her hoping to instigate some fun.

''Ya can't take my nest ah won't let you!'' She screamed lobbing a beer bottle in his direction. Her shiny pretty nest of trinkets,license plates and stolen objects would not be stolen from her, even if it most likely wasn't his intention. The girl was paranoid non the less no thanks to the trickery of Chaos who was now egging her on to throw another.