𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓 ! 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 . an    independent    &    selective    roleplay    blog    for    ZOEY    of    valve's    LEFT    4    DEAD    video    games    .        protected    by    ziggy    (    23    .    she    /    they    )    .    dropped    out    on    july    26th,    2022    .    heavily    affiliated    with    @bullshfter    &    @medk1t & @hellslegion

infection    may    mean    :    unexpected    gifts    ,    the    survivor    complex    ,    haunted    by    your    past    ,    too    many    horror    movies    not    enough    studying    .

rules    &    stats    below    the    read    more    .    

hell, she’s as bright as a lamp—- her aura glows, catches fire in his irises, illuminating the blue flexes of hue in his steadfast gaze. absolutely transfixed, even more so now that he had her going on about her passions. he had always been pretty good at cracking people loose from their shell, but they were only as susceptible to his charm as they’d let themselves be. she had opened herself to him, and he was thankful—- could see why people were reluctant to get close to anybody in this day and age. but old world blues was a powerful motivator, and many were secretly verklempt. now they trudge the line together, gently bumping shoulders as they do; and to be very honest with you, he’s more concerned with what she’s doing, watching her illuminate like a beacon, than he is even concerned about what’s going on around them.

“ ohoh man, you and my mama would’a been two peas. she loved all them classics near t’death … uh, no pun intended. made me watch all a’ them when i’s a kid, n’ not just the scary ones, mind you … damn near seen the old star trek episodes ‘bout a trillion times. shoot, i used to hope i’d make it to space someday. probly should’a fixed me up an aircraft or somethin’ when i had the opportunity. fat chance now. ” he shakes his head reminiscently as he ‘splains, giddied by even the merriment of idle back and forth. he’s never talked so much about his mama in his damn life … probably embarrassing. but to connect with people was the greatest gift of all, hardly afforded in this new territory they treaded with stiff lips and wide eyes. at the mention of her flunking, shoulders raise in a quick, yet pointed shrug. “ hay, tha’s alright. no sense in beatin’ yourself silly, not over shit you can’t control none. ‘sides, school ain’t everything—- i dropped outta high school the summer before my senior year to go to work, i like to think i turned out all right still. runnin’ my own auto shop and everything! ” he proclaims proudly, tossing her a stamp of approval in the form of a toothy grin. “ you get an A in my book. don’t think that really counts for nothin’, but i know a smart cookie when i see one. you’re smart as they come! bet you would’a passed with flyin’ colors that second time ‘round, no doubt about it … no matter what you were smokin’. ”

his cheeky, yet heartfelt grin turns somber at the sight of her wiping her eyes. his heart does tricks. his hand hovers over her back, close but not touching— just a simple gesture to show that he’s here. “ ‘s no trouble, darlin’! i’m here for ya … trust i ain’t dyin’ any time soon. reckon heaven don’t want me and hell’s afraid i’ll take over … uhhh ‘less they got deviled eggs down there. them suckers are pretty good, i’d probly go down quick. ” the last part is muttered, obviously an afterthought that probably didn’t suit the moment. actually, none of it did—- but he’s trying his best here. “ ohoh, believe you me, i seen that first hand, little lady. reckon you can prolly teach me a few things even. i mean i know how to use a gun ‘n all on account me and keith always doin’ stupid shit y’know with BB guns and paintball guns, all kinds a’ guns really, buuuuut. we always just shot like cans and bottles and shit like that, never any danger to anyone ‘cept ourselves. not so easy when the target moves, know what i mean?” he’s watching his feet move in the mud below. “ keith, he—- lord, he’s a terrible shot. had about a million bullets lodged into him ‘cuz they’d always ricochet right back at him. lucky son of a bitch always missed all the vital organs, but i reckon he’s about 98% metal … hey, did you hear that? ”

somewhere within ear shot, there’s a low growl. he’s able to break the spell just enough to square his shoulders to his full height, looking around, towering over her protectively. “ i think i hear somethin’. ” he whispers, lifting his gun a little higher, throwing an arm in front of her to stop her out of instinct. somethin’s brewin’.

“    so    did    my    mom    .    dad    always    hated    horror    movies    though    ,    which    i    always    though    was    weird    .    y’know    ,    like    he    was    taking    me    hunting    and    teaching    me    all    this    stuff    about    weapons    but    couldn’t    stand    the    sight    of    blood    on    a    movie    .    ”    this    was    okay    .    you’re    fine    .    it’s    not    a    death    sentence    to    open    up    !    a    mantra    repeated    like    prayer    in    her    head    .    it    was    hard    ,    to    talk    about    the    time    before    .    to    think    of    her    mother’s    smile    or    the    sound    of    her    father’s    laugh    as    he    turned    away    from    the    screen    .    “    that’s    pretty    impressive    .”    his    own    story    is    welcomed,    the    compliments    bringing    a    flush    to    fair    cheeks    ,    eyes    downcast    to    avoid    catching    sight    of    the    grin    that    was    slowly    but    surely    eating    away    at    her    defenses.

the    heat    of    his    palm    is    felt    ,    even    with    the    inch    of    space    left    between    their    skin    (    she    nearly    melts    there    ,    giving    into    that    childish    urge    to    curl    into    his    chest    and    sob    like    she’d    never    been    able    to    )    .    mourning    was    a    luxury    they    were    no    longer    afforded    .        “    yeah    ,    you’re    a    tough    one    to    shake    ,    ellis    .    ”    a    sniffle    ,    tears    wiped    away    with    the    filthy    ,    fraying    edges    of    ever    present    pink    sweatshirt    .    “    i    don’t    think    i    could    get    rid    of    ‘ya    if    i    tried    .        .        .    though    i’d    do    it    for    something    that    wasn’t    fresh    caught    or    canned    ,    i’ll    tell    ‘ya    what    .    ”    with    a    wet    chuckle    ,    she    gravitates    slightly    closer    ,    caught    in    the    web    being    spun    by    the    charismatic    southerner    .    moment    is    lost    at    the    drop    of    a    hat    ,    finger    on    trigger    and    eyes    scanning    the    darkness    .

          eyes are momentarily owled by her confession … and except for the occasional groan, grunt or growl sounding in the near distance from one of the walkers, it is, for just a moment, quiet  ( a first for jabber jaw here ). he shuffles awkwardly, merely blinking in response, cracking a sheepish, yet toothy grin  ( bordering on grimace )  so as not to hurt her feelings, hand once again wrapping around to the back of his neck if only to console himself. but take it from the man, straight outta the horse’s mouth—— he’s dumb, but he ain’t stupid! though it takes him a minute, he catches on all right, and when he does? he laughs, a genuine laugh too — a real ha! ha! kind of relieved belly laugh that probably ricochets off the landscape a little loudly  ( birds may have taken flight from trees ). had him goin’ there. meth!     ❛ ha! heh-hey! that’s pretty funny. ya’ll should’a been a comedian! ❜   he observes once he’s all out-jollied.

          ❛ see now tha’s pretty cool, always wondered how they made all them movies with the weird creatures ‘n all, make it look like they’re acshully in outerspace. don’t s’pose they go ‘round usin’ movin’ poster boards and funny lookin’ costumes no more like they used to. so … whud end up happenin’ then, you just … stopped goin’ one day? ❜   he asks with a shrug, eyes laser focused on her face as she talks, particularly her lips and the way her mouth moved, the lithe contours of her jaw and cheekbones. he feels a gust of wind straight to the gut that temporarily disorients him … man, she sure is beautiful. he’s almost thankful for this whole zombie outbreak thing if it meant spending the last of his days with a girl like her. and when she refuses to look at him upon explaining what happened with her parents, it only autonomically magnetizes him closer, bewitched … carefully though, subtly, as though approaching a crying witch  ( he’s seen what happens up close and personal when you disturb those things ).  his expression is solemn, sincere, brows still bowing to convey his condolences … god only knows what it must be like to have to shoot your own parents. hell, ellis could hardly stomach having to shoot jimmy gibbs jr’s walking corpse—- couldn’t even, now that he thinks about it, nick had to do it — and he didn’t even hardly know him!

          ❛ man … that’s gotta burn an image in your brain, no doubt. i mean, i ‘magine it’s gotta be real tough havin’ to make sense of all that. ❜   he muses aloud, gaze diverting from her to absorb the severity of it all for a moment before he presses on, gauging her reaction before he starts again,   ❛ you know … i know it won’t bring ‘em back or anythin’ like that, but … for what it’s worth, i’m real sorry … don’t think i could’a done it, not me. ❜   he shakes his head at the mere though of his mama on the other side of his loaded barrel, watching her turn from fleshy pink to grey, dull, lifeless … makes him nauseous… leave it to the master of segues to change the subject.     ❛ truth be told, … .my stomach ain’t really even all that strong. i’s never good at huntin’. i always tried to take the animals home ‘stead ‘a shootin’ them. shit, i think i like animals better than people half the time … guess that bodes real well for me in the grand scheme a’ things, don’t it? ❜   after all, there were no people left.

the    silence    is    strange    ,    not    often    experienced    in    the    presence    of    the    little    mister    motormouth    ,    but    far    from    uncomfortable    .    she    relishes    the    brief    silence    until    it    is    broken    by    laughter    (    oh    ,    what    a    sound    !    )    .    shaking    her    head    ,    jade    hues    roll    skyward    as    she    navigates    the    darkened    path    ,        always    glancing    into    shadows    to    watch    for    approaching    walkers    .    “    yeah    ,    i    would’ve    really    taken    off    as    a    comedian    .    ”    despite    herself    ,    laughter    of    her    own    tumbles    from    her    lips    .    reserved    and    quiet    as    a    whisper    ,    but    there    !        

“    i    always    liked    the    old    stuff    .    practical    effects    are    what    they    were    called    .    makeup    and    real    sets    .    .    .    a    lot    of    the    time    ,    for    space    stuff    they    actually    made    these    super    small    models    and    would    do    claymation    and    stuff    like    that    .    ”    like    the    sun    ,    she    lights    up    as    she    rambles    on    about    long    lost    passion    ,    words    spilling    from    her    lips    without    worry    of    the    consequence    .    even    the    push    for    further    information    does    not    deter    her    shine    .    “    i    sorta    flunked    out    ,    actually    .    i    got    straight    d’s    my    first    semester    and    was    planning    on    giving    it    another    shot    when    .    .    .    everything    happened    .    ”    the    famous    ultimatum    !    college    or    a    job    at    the    local    grocery    store    to    save    up    for    her    own    place    (    she    obviously    was    going    to    go    with    the    one    that    kept    her    home    )    .    his    approach    is    allowed    when    that    shine    is    finally    eclipsed    by    the    dark    cloud    of    grief    ,    even    welcomed    by    some    small    part    of    her    that    craved    to    finally    give    into    the    desire    to    cry    .

his eyes light up at the mention of her … er, extracurricular activities. he figured she was cool, but he didn’t know she was that cool. “ aw man, no way! whut, you mean like … reefer? ” he drops his tone at least twelve octaves as though a narc might be listening in—- as if it were anywhere near on the list of present concerns. he busts out in a laugh as a memory pans out in his frontal lobe like a reel. “ ohoh man, i love weed. i really do. used to smoke it with my buddy keith all the time—- even collapsed his whole lung one time smokin’ through an entire pound in one sitting— kid was so high, he was low, swear to god. he was in the hospital for damn near a whole week … wuddn’t too funny then, we thought he’s gonna die but … hindsight’s 20/20. ” the kid would tire a brick wall.

“ hell, bet you’re livin’ the dream anyway if you liked all them scary movies. never liked them myself—- i get scared real easy, ‘tween you and me, but … shootin’ zombies’ just too much fun to be scared. ” and speak of the devil. a zombie rears the side of him with a hungered cry—- without thought, he swings the butt of his gun into its skull, where it drops like lead in a crimson puddle at his feet, limp and twitching. he almost feels sorry for the poor sucker. “ could’a pegged you for a smarty pants. you look real smart. whudd ya study? ” he’d never been to college—- wasn’t too, too bad actually in high school for all his brainlessness, but dropped out before his senior year to put himself to work as a mechanic. there were bigger fish to fry at home than a couple of nice lookin’ letters on a report card.

but his shoulders soon deflate at her pointed sigh, brows bending to the latent undertones of melancholy. her lip was stiffer than all get out. perhaps too much, too soon. kid was kind of a chameleon when it came to other’s emotions, so terribly in tune. his voice lowers to accommodate the shift in tone, hand instinctively springing forward to gently clutch her bicep to stop her like a child tugging on their mom’s sleeve. “ hey, uhhhh ‘m sorry ‘bout that. you don’t gotta talk about it, didn’t mean to getcha all choked up … but if you wanna tell me what happened, … i won’t stop you. ” he understood just fine, had no idea where his mother or sisters were now … he hoped they were alright, but knew the probability was grim.

the    back    and    forth    leaves    her    flustered    ,    the    topic    of    her    past    not    one    she    often    allowed    to    be    breached    (    but    the    genuine    interest    ,    that    earnest    look    on    his    features    had    melted    a    small    bit    of    the    ice    wrapped    so    securely    ‘round    her    heart    )    .    “    no    ,    i    mean    meth    .    ”    deadpan    tone    lasts    only    a    moment    before    facade    breaks    and    another    secret    smile    sneaks    across    fair    features    .    “    yeah    ,    i    mean    pot    ,    ellis    .    i’d    usually    just    smoke    on    my    own    though    .    get    nice    and    baked    and    watch    80s    horror    movie    .    ”    his    name    slithers    easily    from    her    tongue    ,    one    of    the    few    times    she    actually    used    it    even    as    arms    cross    protectively    over    her    chest    (    as    if    it    would    protect    her    from    the    memories    only    barely    held    at    bay    as    they    spoke    of    the    past    )    .    

“    more    like    a    nightmare    ,    but    it    did    help    a    bit    when    everything    went    to    shit    .    where    everyone    was    panicking    ,    i    was    prepping    .    ”    though    she    never    thought    she’d    be    so    unphased    by    the    life    she    now    led    ,    barely    blinking    as    ellis    cracks    against    the    zombies    skull    .    boot    kicks    away    twitching    arm    ,    stepping    over    it    with    surprising    grace    as    mouth    continues    to    run    (    this    was    the    most    she’d    spoken    to    another    person    in    so    long    )    .        “    not    really    .    i    dropped    out    after    freshman    year    ,    but    i    was    studying    film    actually    .    ”    

if ellis was supposed to be keeping people at arm’s length, he’s none the wiser. in fact, it seems he’s always trying to embrace life, the living, breathing people that occupied it ( though there were fewer and fewer these days ) all the more now that the world had gone to shit. keep truckin’—- it was more than a survival mechanism. attitude was half the battle, and it’s a battle he is inexplicably winning; was he naturally happy-go-lucky? or was he truly too oblivious to understand the gravity of their situation? it was a draw, entirely inconclusive and anyone’s best guess … either way, only sunshine in the forecast even when the outlook was particularly gloomy.

he’s quite content with her answer. especially the implication that maybe she couldn’t find anyone she liked neither. he clambers at the opportunity to accept her treaty, now meeting her gaze with a soft, dimpled smile of his own, a smattering of pink hue highlighting his cheekbones and tips of his ears. kid could plow his way through an entire hoard of brain-mangling, flesh-eatingzombies and yet still couldn’t find his footing in talking to a girl. absolutely atrocious. “ ehh who needs all that luuuuv BS anyway. ‘s all overrated. plus, i’s always workin’ ‘n stuff, never really had too much time for it neither … ” but he had all the time in the world now! and maybe she did too. either way, he could wait.

though her eyes are trained forward, his eyes are still locked on the back of her brunette locks. struck positively dumb ( not like it was too hard ). googly eyes and all. good ol’ boy’s a goner for sure. then, triumphantly picking up his shoulders, he motivates forward to follow her—- he’s going back in, wish him luck. “ say, y’ever think ‘bout them? your ma and your pa, i mean? bet y’miss them a whole lot. i know i do—- my mama and my sisters anyway, never knew my dad … ” ramble, ramble, ramble on.

the    bubbly    attitude    never    failed    to    leave    her    spinning    ,    kindness    handed    out    to    any    who    dare    glance    his    way    for    too    long    .    caught    in    ellis’    orbit    and    slowly    pulled    closer    and    closer    until    you    didn’t    even    realize    your    mask    is    starting    to    crack    .    it’s    enough    to    break    her    heart    !    thoughts    of    just    what    life    would    have    made    of    the    blonde    before    the    world    crumbled    around    them    flicker    through    occupied    thoughts    ,    tuning    in    and    out    .    

his    smile    is    visible    even    in    periphery    ,    pearly    whites    practically    gleaming    in    the    moonlight    .    like    a    deer    in    the    headlights    ,    she’s    caught    in    that    moment    ,    unsure    how    to    react    .    people    didn’t    ask    about    her    life    before    (    most    people    didn’t    get    past    her    first    line    of    defense    ,    somehow    ,    ellis    had    plowed    through    more    than    his    fair    share    )    .        she    goes    for    nonchalance    .        “    i    was    more    interested    in    spending    my    time    watching    horror    movies    and    getting    high    ,    to    be    honest    .    ”    busy    was    relative    for    a    college    dropout    ,    first    semester    failed    in    lieu    of    education    on    the    fine    arts    of    cinematic    craft    .    

“ don’t worry, i ain’t gonna get us killed. ain’t nothin’ gonna happen to ya now that i’m around, you can count on that! ” it’s a tall order, but he’s so steadfast in his ambitious claim that you almost have to believe him … his breast even protrudes proudly, with shotgun pleated against his chestplate like a toy soldier. and he soldiers on indeed in his bravado until she nearly trips—- and surely ellis is there just behind her, hovering hands at her elbows to gallantly rise to the occasion … until she suddenly turns to face him dead on … and if she’d meant to burst his bubble, she had succeeded, for he deflates from the sharp point of her gaze as she clocks him, retreating slightly as though maybe her crosshairs were suddenly fixed on him … fixin’ to blow him right out of the water. he’d yee’d his last haw for sure. shoulda listened. but her question gives him pause … and he takes a deep inhale to prepare for no doubt a long-winded answer. always with the long-winded answers.

“ erm … well, no, not your hand exactly … i mean hell, then again, probly your hand. she’s always tryna set me up with any pretty girl she can find. all the time! i keep tellin’ her, ‘ma, i don’t want just any lady keepin’ me warm …’ but she ain’t listen to me. my sisters, i got three, they’re always tryna fix me up with all kinds a’ girls alllll the time, adamant as all get out. i just ain’t find one that i really like yet though, i mean before all this crazy zombie shit cracked loose anyhow … ” the narrative had obviously been tweaked to accommodate miss zoey zooey zoe-WAY over here. nonetheless, motor mouth has obviously kicked into twelfth gear. and at the realization, he’s tossing an arm behind his head, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly—— boy, she sure knew how to put the heat on him. effortlessly, at that. “ uhhh you don’t have to hold my hand or nuthin’ like that, i’s just tryna be polite like my mama raised me. women oughta be protected and respected, tha’s all i meant. ” and he believed that, firmly—- it’s not just a line. those four ladies had done right by ellis to raise him the way they did, even if he was a little too daring at times.

as    much    as    she    would    love    to    burst    that    little    bubble    ,    cheeks    puffing    in    indignation    at    the    idea    of    needing    protection    from    anyone    (    bill    had    taught    her    well!    she    knew    how    to    survive,    how    to    protect    herself    and    the    people    in    her    care    )        ,    she    deflates    almost    immediately    .    a    mirrored    image    of    the    now    shy    blonde    stood    before    her    ,    gun    to    his    chest    and    eyes    downcast    .    if    it    weren’t    for    the    rambling    to    soon    follow    ,    she    may    have    apologized    for    such    sharp    answer    .    it    wasn’t    personal    .    a    defense    mechanism    to    keep    all    at    arms    length    ,    saving    herself    the    pain    of    losing    another    loved    one    in    the    hell    hole    that    was    their    new    world    .    

          ❛ well … not like i can help it none, jus’ kinda rolls off the tongue … zoey … zooey. zoh - EE. ❜   you bet he’s still twanging it silently, even as he trudges on at her haunches, aiming his flashlight and scope all around. man this place was real unsettling, the all-encompassing groans and moans reverberating in his chest and inciting something inside of him … fear maybe, if you can believe it, despite his resilient armor of positivity and fierce sense of immortality. sure wasn’t a place he wanted to get stuck in for long, let alone die … so he keeps breathlessly uttering @drop0ut·‘s name like a hail mary as if by doing so it would distract him. zo - AY … zoo-WAY. perhaps she’s annoyed, but he’s none the wiser—– handed out the benefit of the doubt like free samples. yesiree, nothing could deter the spirit of the great and powerful ellis when he got himself started, not like it was harmin’ anyone anyway. plus he’d have tons of opportunities to say her name out loud, you know when they got married and all.   ❛ hay listen, if you get scared er whutever, … you can always hold my hand. not to be weird or nothin’, tha’s just somethin’ my mama probly’d say … real nice lady. ❜  cont’d.