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One of the most significant effects of trauma is dissociation, a mental state in which the body and mind become disconnected as a way to cope with unbearable pain. For much of my life, I lived in a state of detachment from my own body, avoiding touch and physical connection because they reminded me of the traumas I had endured. My body, in many ways, became a prison that I did not want to inhabit. This experience of dissociation led me to question my identity on many levels.

At one point, I began to explore the possibility of a gender transition. I surrounded myself with transgender individuals, hoping to understand whether this was the right path for me. However, instead of witnessing freedom in these individuals, I saw something else. They had stepped out of one societal "box" only to find themselves confined in another—one even smaller and more restrictive. I realized that for many, the journey of gender transition was not so much about freedom, but about a deeper struggle with identity and a response to profound trauma.

For me, the answer did not lie in changing my gender. As I delved deeper into my own self-exploration, I realized that my journey was not about altering my external identity but about reconciling with my internal one. Dissociation had led me to question who I was because trauma had created such a vast gap between my true self and the version of myself that I projected to the world. By reconnecting with my soul, I began to heal the wounds that had once driven me to question my very being.

“When people saw what had happened to my son, men stood up who had never stood up before.” - Mamie Till Mobley

#OnThisDay in 1941, Emmett Till was born, and his legacy lives with us forever. At 14 years old, he was kidnapped, murdered, and lynched in Mississippi by two white men after an alleged interaction with a white woman.