drileyf

He waited.

The audience went… mild. Bordering on tepid.

Virgil, at least, looked up.

“Oh, come on,” Gordon said, dropping the pose and squinting at them. “You could at least act like you’re a little proud.”

“We’re proud,” Virgil said calmly. “You didn’t drown.”

“Low bar,” Gordon muttered. Then, louder: “Because everyone knows I’m the best, right?”

“All about the team effort, Gordon,” Scott replied, eyes never leaving the data pad he held.

Gordon made an affronted noise and flopped dramatically over the back of the sofa, hanging upside down so his head landed right next to Scott’s shoulder. “Explain,” he said, gesturing wildly, “how I single-handedly fixed a deep-sea turbine while upside down and you’re still calling that ‘team effort.’”

Virgil snorted into his coffee, their eldest brother giving a long suffering sigh.

“Oh, hilarious,” Gordon said. “You know, for someone who constantly saves lives with both my heroics and my impeccable humour, I get very little appreciation.”

Virgil lobbed a cushion at him without looking. “You get fed. That’s appreciation enough.”

Gordon caught it with ease. “Wow. Bare minimum. Tragic. Honestly, ‘above and beyond’ is basically my middle name.”

“No,” Scott said flatly. “It’s Cooper.”

“Details.”

“Ugh, the coffee tastes weird…” Virgil’s off-topic comment was accompanied by the departure of their now frowning brother down to the kitchen, and it drew both Scott and Gordon’s attention from their current back and forth. 

There was a pause.

Then…

“WHO BROKE THE COFFEE MACHINE?” 

Both Tracys present in the living room froze, before Scott groaned, eyeing his little brother wearily. “Tell me you didn’t.”

Gordon recoiled, hand to his chest. “Me? I haven’t even been in the kitchen! What did you do?” He spun dramatically toward Scott. “Scooter Carpetflooring Tracy, what have you done?!”

Scott blinked. “Excuse me? Why would I sabotage the only thing sustaining my will to live? You’re the one who doesn’t even like coffee!”

“I never said that,” Gordon protested. “I just happen to prefer tea. I have no quarrel with the lesser caffeinated substance.”

Virgil reappeared at the top of the stairs, eyes a little wild. A small, rather bent teaspoon in one hand.

“I said who broke the coffee machine?!”

Silence met him. 

“What happened?” Scott ventured, gesturing toward the spoon.

“It just made a noise.”

“What kind of noise?” Gordon asked, turning his head.

“A sort of… screaming gurgle.”

“That’s not reassuring.”

“And then I found this in the filter.” Holding up the offending item to be greeted by two owl-like stares. Virgil rubbed a hand over his face, looking entirely too much like their mother trying to keep boisterous boys in line on a bad day. “Look, I’m not saying it was you. I’m just saying… the evidence is weirdly Gordon-shaped.”

“I resent that,” Gordon huffed. “My chaos has a signature and it is not a bent spoon.”

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, okay. Let’s calm this down. No accusations. No coffee-based witch hunts.”

Virgil folded his arms . 

A pause.

“…So we’re all denying involvement?”.

“Yes,” Scott said immediately.

“Unequivocally,” Gordon added.

Virgil opened his mouth, likely with protest, only to be interrupted by the blue holo appearance of John in the centre of the room. 

“Johnny!” Gordon beamed. “Excellent timing. Here to confess your sins?”

“What? No. Not that I have any,” John said dryly. “Virgil, you’ve got a shout. Thunderbird Two is needed in the Andes. Rock slide.”

Virgil’s shoulders slumped.

Gordon perked up instinctively. “Ooh, want help-”

The question died as Virgil gave a gruff, defeated sigh and turned toward his launch chute.

“I’m getting coffee on the way home,” he muttered darkly.

When he was gone, the room settled into an uncomfortable silence once more. 

Gordon stayed draped over the sofa back for a beat longer than necessary, legs hooked lazily, staring at the ceiling as if it might offer vindication.

Scott sighed.

“You didn’t break the coffee machine,” he said.

Gordon blinked, then twisted to look at him. “Wow. That was either incredible faith in me or deeply insulting.”

“It was a statement,” the elder Tracy replied, still holding his datapad, though he hadn’t scrolled in a while.

“Mm. I don’t know how I feel about that tone.”

“You’re feeling defensive because everyone assumes it was you.”

“Well,” Gordon said, affronted, “when you say it like that-”

“Gordon.”

He huffed, swinging himself properly onto the sofa and slouching sideways, arms folded. “For the record, I did not sabotage the sacred caffeine device.”

“I know.”

“You know or you think?”

Scott tilted his head, considering him. “You wouldn’t break it without telling us.”

Gordon paused. “…Okay, rude, but also accurate. So if I didn’t break the coffee machine… and you didn’t break the coffee machine…”

Scott arched an eyebrow. “You’re about to accuse Alan, aren’t you.”

“I’m just saying, statistically-”

“Don’t.”

“-he is the least mechanically cautious.”

Scott shook his head. “Virgil rebuilt that thing last month. It might’ve just… died.”

“The eternal Tracy curse,” Gordon mused with a sigh, entirely ignoring his brother’s horrified stare.

------------

Night had fallen across the island. The villa was silent. 

Thunderbird Two was still out. 

That meant Operation “The Best” could proceed. 

Under the cover of (relative) darkness, Gordon padded into the kitchen barefoot. A pilfered toolbox tucked under one arm, shiningly clean and clinking in perfect tone as he moved toward his target.

“Okay,” he murmured to it, softly enough that no one upstairs could hear. “We both know I didn’t do this.”

The machine responded by doing absolutely nothing, which Gordon chose to interpret as agreement.

He set the toolbox down and crouched, frowning in concentration. The casing came off easily (too easily, actually). He frowned, eyes scanning the internals.

“Ah,” he breathed. “There you are.”

A cracked intake valve. Hairline fracture, barely visible unless you knew exactly where to look. Heat stress. Age. Bad timing.

Not sabotage.

The bent spoon lay on the counter, innocent in its own way.

He doubted the snoring Alan even knew of his escape. 

“That,” Gordon muttered, “was just bad luck.”

Twenty minutes later, he reassembled the casing and wiped his hands on a tea towel. He hesitated, then reached for a mug - Virgil’s. 

Setting it carefully in place below the nozzle, and giving a satisfied nod at his work. Gathering the tools back in to the perfect order that they were accustomed to - well, sort of. Kind of.  

--------

It was well into the wee hours that Virgil finally, mercifully, returned to the island. Weary, muddy, and entirely decaffeinated. 

He’d only passed through the kitchen in the hopes of finding a post-mission perk up snack. 

The coffee machine sat there innocently, indicator light glowing green.

Suspiciously green.

Virgil approached it like it might bite. He inspected it, then slowly reached out and pressed the button.

The smell of fresh coffee filled the kitchen. No explosions. No alarms.

He could have wept as he took his first mouthful. 

And then he spotted the stray spanner on the counter. 

Aha.

-----------

And so it was equally as late (or perhaps just incredibly early) that there was a scuffle of a noise at Gordon’s door - a small envelope pushed underneath it, and then footsteps walking away. 

The world’s lightest sleeping squid heard it, and scampered from his bed. Grabbing the envelope to inspect in the light of the various tanks dotted around his room, before tearing it open.

Inside was a homemade medal in the shape of a fish, carefully painted and glittered, with the neat words:

“WORLD’S BEST GORDON”

His grin softened, eyes sparkling as he held it up to the light. 

Jeff is sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair and getting ready for a lecture, as like Virgil he is determined to make this Christmas the perfect family Christmas, where nothing goes wrong.

“Hm-hm” he coughs, clearing his throat and getting the boys attention. “This year, I am implementing a few new rules to ensure no repeats of the previous years disasters, and we are going to have a wonderful family Christmas.”

Gordon tries not to show his distaste at rules, but he can’t help a look of disgust flashing briefly across his face.

“Rule number one: No arguing.

Rule number two: No wild animals as gifts.

Rule number three: No original Gordon Christmas songs.

Rule number four: No pranks.

“Do these rules apply to me?” Gordon asks.

“Gordon, these rules are because of you, so yes!” Scott replies, rolling his eyes. He personally thinks they are good rules, and he is going to be doing his best to ensure that they are followed.

“Also” Jeff continues, to stop any further interruptions, “I am putting Scott and Virgil in charge of the Christmas shopping this year, and you will leave for the main land in an hour, John you may go back to thunderbird five now. Gordon, and Alan you will remain on call in case any emergency calls come through so don’t go far.

Gordon and Alan go out to the pool to relax and watch Virgil and Scott fly away in thunderbird two, Gordon just hopes everything that he added to the list after his dad had finished with it don’t come under the no prank rules and that Virgil gets him that rubber spider he sneaked on the list!

“Dad is so mean” Gordon complains once he is sure he is out of earshot.

Alan nods in agreement, even though he has been the victim of Gordon’s pranking mastery on more than one occasion. “Definitely”

“I am married now, with a baby, does he really think that I am still twelve years old?”

“Definitely” Alan agrees again, sometimes he still thinks that Gordon never got any older than twelve.

“I will show him; I will show all of you just how mature and how sensible Gordon Tracy can be!”

“Now is your time” a voice pops up from the poolside coms box. “We have a situation; you will need thunderbird one.” John informs him. “There’s a climber stuck on mount Kilimanjaro, he thought it would be a good idea to try climbing it solo without a guide, and no one has heard from him in nearly four hours, but his tracker is still showing.”

“I am on it John! Leave it to me. I will have this mountaineer down before you can say “Scotty Claus is coming to town!” Gordon replies, running for Scott’s launch bay.

Jeff forced Scott to add a hand rail to the platform, so getting into thunderbird one is now much safer, even though Scott is still protesting about it not being needed and is a colossal waste of his precious time, and Gordon gets settled down for a quick flight to Tanzania, collect the stranded climber, and make it home for dinner.

Jeff and Alan watch as he disappears into the early afternoon sun light before heading down to the kitchen to start making lunch.

*TB*

Gordon loads up his favourite songs for the journey, and is singing his way through the sound track to the little mermaid when he arrives at the danger zone and lands Thunderbird one close to the climber’s last known location, and jumps down to the snow-covered ground with a shiver. It is cold up here; he thinks in disgust and wishes that he could have sent Alan to do this instead before remembering his promise to be mature and sensible Gordon from now on.

“Help” he hears a weak sounding cry to his left and starts to walk in that direction, lugging his all-terrain kit with him, which Penny still laughs at him for, which is one of the reasons it goes every where with him, as her laugh is one of the many things he loves about her.

It doesn’t take him long to find the climber, a young man around his own age with dark brown hair and pale skin, he is so cold that his lips are starting to turn blue. He is wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and Gordon can’t help but wonder if he is related to Scott, as this is the kind of stunt his eldest brother once pulled. One that that are still banned from telling their father about!

“Okay, buddy can you tell me what happened here?” Gordon asks, running the med scanner up and down his body and groaning when it picks up on the man’s mild hypothermia and broken ankle. This is not going to be as straight forward as he had hoped.

“F-f-f-fell” he replies, trembling.

Gordon pulls out an emergency foil blanket and wraps it around him to try to stop him from getting any colder. He knows that he has to get him off this mountain, and somewhere warm. “Can you stand if I help you?”

The man grits his teeth and nods, wincing in pain as he stands up, falling against Gordon and almost knocking them both back down the mountain.

Gordon grips into the snow with the points of his boots and is able to remain upright and together they make the short walk back to thunderbird one.

Once aboard the ship, Gordon starts to make hot chocolate and hands the man a celery crunch bar which he gratefully eats.

“Thanks dude, that’s better” the man whom Gordon has nicknamed New Scotty in his mind, says appreciatively.

“no problem, what were you doing up there anyway?” Gordon asks.

“Skiing down the mountain, so don’t tell the park authorities, as it is not strictly legal” New Scotty replies, drinking his second mug of hot chocolate.

Gordon laughs. Definitely Scotty! “No problem, I once went exploring the supreme barrier reef with nothing more than an aqua scooter. Don’t tell my dad!”

New Scotty grins. “I knew I could rely on international rescue to be discreet, I think I should probably go and get my ankle looked at though, we just need a cover story”

Gordon laughs again, and he is glad that he was the one to take John’s call, he likes New Scotty more than Old Scotty who has become a Mini-Jeff as he has gotten older. He drops New Scotty off at the local hospital, and starts to head home, turning on the stereo on and hooking up his phone and playing the theme song to SpongeBob SquarePants on repeat all the way home.

He is just flying over Hawaii when there is a grinding sound from the engine, followed by what feels like a small explosion. Thunderbird One is hurtling towards the ground at a frightening speed, and he has no time to react or bail out. He just knows that this is going to hurt, and that Scott is going to be so angry with him for crashing his beloved Thunderbird.

He gives one last desperate grab of the controls to try and get the nose up, but it is too late. Thunderbird one crashes into the side of Mauna Loa, the largest active volcano in the world.

Gordon’s head plunges into the control panel, before the airbags go off and a secondary impact pushes him back into his seat, and he loses consciousness. There is a steady stream of wet sticky red blood dripping its way down his temple as he can do nothing to help himself.

*TB*

“Go ahead John” Jeff says, hoping that this is not another emergency call as he is now down to one rescuer, as Scott and Virgil are still not home yet and Gordon is still in Africa.

“We have a situation. Thunderbird One went down in Hawaii, and I am unable to make any contact with Gordon.” John sounds scared, Gordon knows from his own past experiences with the Chaos Crew to make contact with his brothers if anything happens, he would never cut contact on purpose. Something is wrong, he can feel it.

“What happened?” Jeff asks.

“Catastrophic engine failure, there was nothing he could have done about it, it went without warning, didn’t even get the chance to bail out. My only hope is that his radio has been smashed. Dad, we have to go and save him”

“I will let Virgil and Scott know, they can be there in less than twenty minutes” Jeff replies, shutting down on John and opening up a link to Scott.

“Scott, this is your father, we have an emergency” Jeff says.

There is urgency in his voice that makes Scott nervous and he leaves his trolley full of food in the middle of the warehouse and runs to Thunderbird two, Virgil right behind him.

They have taken off and are blindly flying in the direction of the island without knowing that they even need to go the other way.

“What’s happened?” Virgil asks.

“Gordon was out in thunderbird one and the engine failed. He was forced to make an emergency landing and we can’t contact him. He’s crashed into Mauna Loa in Hawaii.”

Jeff says quickly.

“He crashed my Thunderbird?!” Scott roars.

“Yeah because that’s the main thing here Scotty” Virgil replies rolling his eyes, swinging thunderbird two around and heading towards Hawaii as fast as he can.

The silence is awkward and the atmosphere tense as Virgil is trying to stay focused on the mission and not being angry with Scott. Scott needs to learn that there are more important things than Thunderbird One. That can be replaced.

They are almost at the Volcano when there is a large explosion from Thunderbird ones last known location, and Virgil can feel his heart crack. They were too late. They didn’t get to him in time.

“G-G-Goose” Scott says with his head in his hands.

“No Scott, he isn’t Goose. He is Gordon. Remember, mom always used to say he was immortal. Heaven wouldn’t want him and hell is terrified of him showing up and taking over. Now we need to get down there and save our Squid. Virgil, like Scott, knows that they are too late, that they have lost Gordon forever.

Virgil brings Thunderbird Two into land. There is a crowd of at least three hundred people there, and he fights his way to the front of the queue, followed closely by Scott. Parked near the wreckage site is an ambulance, and Gordon is lying on a stretcher, an oxygen mask covering most of his face and his eyes are closed, but there is instant relief when they realise that Gordon is breathing.

“Gordon!” Virgil cries, “Thank goodness!”

Gordon’s eyelids flutter as he struggles to hold on to the voice. He is confused as the voice sounds so happy to see Gordon. But who is it?

Gordon opens his eyes and stares blankly back at him. without a hint of recognition.

He has no idea who this is.

And now he thinks about it properly, who is Gordon?

He tries to sit up, lifting the mask up off his face and looking around at his surroundings for the first time. Nothing is familiar, he has to ask the stranger. He has to know.

“I’m sorry, but who are you? Who is Gordon?”

Chapter two: Snowstorm

Six days before Christmas

Gordon is asleep in his room, thanks to Virgil’s recently administered sedative, and everyone has gathered in the lounge to discuss how they can help their brother recover his memories.

“Why should we? John asks, “Now is the perfect time to get a much better version.”

“Excuse me?” Virgil replies.

“Think about it, we just tell him that doesn’t spend days on end wearing the same ugly shirt, he likes suits and ties, doesn’t watch that awful programme into the unknown…” John trails off.

“Does my college work” Alan adds.

“Doesn’t play pranks or tell terrible jokes” Scott says, getting John’s point. This could be the one and only opportunity to get a Gordon he isn’t embarrassed to be related too! “And he enjoys writing mission reports as soon as he gets home, and gets upset when he can’t do his debrief straight away”

Virgil doesn’t say anything, but he knows that this is a terrible idea!

“He cleans his room without needing to be threatened” Jeff adds, having joined them. John is correct, this is his chance to get the perfect family Christmas he has wanted since he got home three years ago.

“Celery crunch bars have not been invented. It will save us hundreds of dollars a year on the grocery bill” John adds.

“We could tell him that he loves peas. He has always hated peas!” Alan says with a mean giggle.

Scott is writing all these ideas down, and making a journal on his laptop pretending to be Gordon. The perfect Gordon that he has wanted for so many years. One that would never have burnt the Christmas tree down, one that would never take thunderbird two joy riding and crash into Santa, one that would never adopt wild animals as pets. Sitting back in his chair he gives a contented sigh. This is going to be the best Christmas ever!

*TB*

Five days before Christmas.

Gordon looks at the stranger in the mirror. He feel uncomfortable in his dark grey suit and tie. His hair has been brushed back and set with Scott’s super shine hair gel. Something feels wrong, but he doesn’t know what. It makes no sense, this is his home, yet there is nothing that feel familiar here. His father said that he is married, but he doesn’t know what his wife looks like, and as she is in England working on a secret mission for the GDF, he doesn’t have to admit to her that he doesn’t know who she is.

“Gordon, breakfast!” a voice calls from down in the kitchen, and he is forced to leave his sanctuary for the rooms below.

He walks carefully down the stairs, and across the lounge and down to the kitchen where there is a plate with a plain bagel in the one free space in between, he stops to check the list of smudged names on his hand: Vinnie and Alvin. Gordon takes his seat and starts to nibble at the dry bagel, not adding butter and jam and drinking the glass of milk while (hand check) Vinnie drinks coffee directly from the coffee maker with a straw.

“Virgil! How many times have I got to tell you not to do that?” Jeff reminds him in exasperation.

Virgil? Gordon thinks. Is that his name? if it is, then who is Vinnie?

“No idea, but it is the best way to drink coffee, while it is still fresh” Virgil replies rolling his eyes and turning his attention back to his coffee. “Ah, breakfast”

“What does everyone have planned for the day?” Jeff asks.

“Well we have to get back to the main land and finish the shopping, Gordon is still grounded from missions as he has concussion, and can’t even remember his own name, Alan has an essay to complete for college, and John is monitoring up in thunderbird five” Scott summarises.

“Would you like to help me Gordon? You wrote the last one perfectly. It is about the Mariana trench, you have explored that in great detail so this is easy for you” Alan asks. He can’t wait to spend the day playing Cavern Quest while Gordon does his school work for him.

“Sure thing, Alvin” Gordon replies after a quick check of his hand.

“It’s Alan” Alan reminds him.

“No. I am fairly sure its Alvin” Gordon confirms with a nod.

Alan doesn’t bother trying to correct him again, after taking a hint from Scott to let it go.

Gordon gets up and follows Alan to his room where Alan has left his lap top open for Gordon to get to work on his essay.

Revenge is sweet! Alan thinks.

*TB*

Four days before Christmas

The villa is quiet. Everyone is home. Gordon is sitting up his feet adorned with matching socks are resting on the rung of his chair as he reads the Count of Monte Cristo which John lent him.

Alan comes running into the room and grabs the book from his brothers hands and throws it on the floor.

“Alvin?” Gordon gasps in shock. “Whatever is the matter my sweet baby brother?”

“I got an F!” Alan replies angrily.

“On what?” Gordon replies confused.

“That essay you wrote for me!” Alan replies.

“What essay?” Gordon asks.

“The one about the Mariana Trench you wrote.” Alan replies.

“What’s the Mariana Trench?” Gordon asks innocently.

“DAAAAAAAAAAAAD!” Alan screams, storming from the room to go and find his father to complain.

Gordon shrugs and picks the book up from the floor and opens it back up and begins to read again.

*TB*

Three days before Christmas

Jeff has called another family meeting, no one is happy.

Alan is still sulking, this was meant to be the best Christmas ever, and instead he is failing geography and has to spend the next few days doing his own research and rewriting the whole thing.

John has just found out that now Gordon doesn’t eat celery crunch bars, he has instead eaten all of the bagels that John asked Scott and Virgil to get him, and now he has to brave the main land supermarket on the busiest day of the year where the stores will be crowded with people to buy more.

Scott is out of super shine hair gel as Gordon used it all for his new hair style, and he too has to go back to the store to replace what his brother has used. Between the bagels and the hair gel, Gordon has cost them a small fortune!

“What’s he done to you Virg?” Scott asks. His brother is sitting on the sofa looking like Christmas has been cancelled.

“Coffee… Need coffee” Virgil replies.

“Sorry about that. I told him coffee was really bad for people, so he threw it all out to save you” John said. “I just thought he would stop drinking it, I didn’t think he would throw it all in the bin!”

“Dad, we need the real Gordon back!” Alan says.

“Yeah Dad, we miss him” Scott adds. He never thought he would, but he does miss him. He misses the silly Christmas songs. Last night he couldn’t sleep, and was lying awake in bed, the window open so he could feel the breeze from the mild wind outside while he listened to Scotty Claus on the music box.

Jeff agrees, he too misses his real Squid. The crazy one who once gave his mom a squirrel as a Christmas present. Remembering Niblet gives him an idea, there is no way he would have forgotten Niblet. Gordon loved Niblet.

“Why don’t we take him back to Kansas, show him where he grew up” Jeff suggests.

Scott nods in agreement. “That’s a really good idea, Dad, we will all go in thunderbird two, as One is still being repaired.” Scott isn’t even upset over losing his Thunderbird, he would much rather have a happy and healthy Gordon than anything else.

“Are we going to ask Penelope to join us?” John asks. She is still deep undercover in her mission from the GDF, and they decided not to pull her out because they thought they could fix this without help, but John is starting to realise that they are in way over their heads here, and they need fresh ideas.

“If this doesn’t work, then yes we will. She needs to know” Jeff replies.

The meeting breaks up, and they all go their separate ways to pack for Kansas, knowing that it will be cold and snowy they pack their winter clothing.

Alan is excited, despite the gravity of the situation, he can’t wait to go sledding down the hill behind the house and build a snowman. He loves winter, and he misses it living on a tropical island, never getting to see snow. He packs his cross-country skis, and favourite hoodie and he’s ready, geography essay forgotten about and discarded on his bedroom floor. He will worry about that later, it is Christmas after all!

*TB*

Two days before Christmas.

“It is very cold here” Gordon says, shivering slightly as he looks around the unfamiliar yard. He has no idea why they have bought him here, and so far he is not impressed. The ground under his feet is frozen solid, and it is snowing heavily. The large old farm house was at least warm with the fire burning away in the grate and he would like to go back inside.

“We thought we would go for a walk up to the lake. You loved the lake when we lived here” Scott tells him.

Everyone Is bundled up in several layers to combat the cold.

“Why would I love a lake?” Gordon asks, confused. He hates water, John said so, he never dives in the pool and splashes water all over his brothers.

“You used to go skating in the winter and swimming in the summer. We used to have to force you to go home at the end of the day. You remember one night when we had that awful heat wave and you snuck out in the middle of the night and went skinny dipping in the lake?” Virgil says.

“Skinny dipping?” Gordon repeats in disgust. “I would never do that. I even wear my bathing suit in the shower”

They start to walk across the snow-covered ground towards the forests edge, Gordon following his brothers determined to just go through this without complaining, but his feet are freezing, he has no idea where he is or where he is going and he can’t wait to get out of here.

There is a squirrel scratching the earth looking for something to eat. It is a small skinny grey creature who is struggling to get through this winter. He feels constantly hungry and he wishes that he too were anywhere but in this snowy forest on his freezing December morning.

“Look Gordon, a squirrel” Alan points out. “He could be descended from Niblet!”

“Yuck, disgusting disease-ridden tree rat!” Gordon replies. “Do I throw something at it, get it to go away?”

Virgil stops in his tracks. Did Gordon just suggest what he thinks he just suggested? Gordon, who once bought home and injured skunk and kept it under his bed for a week? Smellatrix the skunk took some catching and Virgil swears he can still smell her in the house! “Oh Gordon, what has happened to you?” he thinks sadly.

“Leave him be Gordon” Jeff says gently as they carry on.

They head deeper and deeper into the forest and it is still and silent, barely a creature in sight as everyone escapes from the incoming snowstorm to their warm nests and burrows and dreys.

The density of the trees is blocking out any light, and it is increasingly dark, and they have still not found the lake.

“Dad, where are we, the lake was not this far from home?” John asks. He can no longer feel his toes, as they trudge through foot deep snow.

“I want to go home” Alan adds. This isn’t fun anymore. and he wishes that he had never agreed to come on this walk. He is shivering with bone deep cold as he watches the snowflakes swirl upwards in the wind.

“Me too” Gordon agrees.

“We should head back Dad. I can’t even walk any further in this.” Scott says.

Jeff knows when to admit defeat, and he nods sadly. This has not worked out how he had hoped it would, and he is out of ideas. “Come on boys, lets go home”

“It’s this way” Virgil says, turning to the left and pointing to a snowy path.

“No, it’s this way!” Alan says, pointing in the other direction.

“You are both wrong as it is this way” Scott says, tuning around and walking in a third direction.

“No, it’s this way” Alan insists.

“This way” Virgil insists.

“Fine we will go your way” Alan tells Virgil and storms into the gloom in anger. This was the worst idea his father has ever had! They are lost in the forest, in the middle of the worst snowstorm Kansas has seen in fifty years, with a brother who can’t even remember his own name and three stubborn brothers who won’t listen to reason, a geography essay he has to write and a father who seems to think this was a good idea!

“I am going this way, and I will see you when you get home in about three days, try not to freeze to death in the meantime” John replies. “Come on Gordon”

Gordon is stood rooted to the spot. The arguing is scaring him. He wants to scream and he wants to run away from them all, back to the safety of his tropical island.

“Gordon” John repeats, trying to drag him towards the path.

“Leave him alone! This is all your fault.” Virgil says, grabbing Gordon’s other arm.

“My fault? This was not my idea!” John says, glaring at his father. “You should have known that this storm was coming. It is freezing out here, we are lost and when we have to resort to cannibalism you are first on the list!”

“My fault? You are the one who came up with the plan to make Gordon into your perfect brother!” Jeff reminds John. “Who told him that celery crunch bars were no longer a thing so he ate your bagels?”

“Who told him coffee was bad for him, so he threw out all of Virgil’s coffee?” Scott adds.

“And who told him that he enjoyed doing Alan’s homework?” Virgil asks.

“Boys” Jeff interrupts. “Where has Alan gone?”

“He went that way” Virgil replies, pointing to the path where Alan disappeared.

“Why? That is the wrong way” Gordon says.

“Gordon?” Jeff asks in shock.

His fourth son is desperately trying not to laugh.

“Gordon…?” Scott repeats.

“Gotcha!” Gordon replies, bursting out laughing.

“Excuse me?” Jeff replies.

“Amnesia. I can not believe you all fell for that” Gordon says. He is laughing to hard there are tears streaming down his face, which are being frozen by the biting wind.

“You are in so much trouble!” Jeff tells him, as he is pulling him into his arms for a hug. “But I am so glad to have you back”

“Yeah, you can yell at me later, let’s go and find Alan, and feed that poor hungry squirrel.” Gordon replies, pulling out a large bag of walnuts from the pocket of his ski jacket. “Maybe we can take him back to the island with us”

“No, we cannot!” Jeff replies laughing. He is so happy to have the real Gordon back that he would actually consider letting him have a squirrel again.

The atmosphere is light as they skip down the path to get to Alan, calling his name until they eventually catch him up.

“You faked the whole thing?” Alan asks in amazement. “But my essay!”

“Not my fault you didn’t read it before you submitted it!” Gordon replies with a shrug.

“Come on boys, let’s go home. Gordon, lead the way!”

“No way, we came all the way out here, I am going to the lake!” Gordon replies laughing. “it is just around this corner, I know this forest better than anything else, even the Mariana Trench!”

Alan doesn’t reply, he knows he deserved that F!

They step out of the edge of the forest, and the lake is right there, covered in a deep layer of snow and ice, and the snow is getting heavier, but they don’t care, as they have an impromptu snow ball fight. Alan, Gordon and John against Scott, Virgil and Jeff, only stopping when it gets too dark to see.

“I think it is time we went home” Jeff says with a happy and contented smile.

Even Gordon agrees, as they walk back through the forest, dropping walnuts along the way for all of the hungry squirrels.

“What time is it?” Gordon asks, yawning.

“Nearly four-thirty” Jeff replies.

They have been out in the snow for hours now, and everyone is starting to feel the cold, as the snow shows no signs of relenting.

“Getting lost in a snowstorm can definitely be added to our annual list of disastrous Christmases” John says laughing. “It is weird but a week ago all we wanted was the perfect family Christmas without any pranks or arguing, but this has actually been the perfect family Christmas and all we have done is argue and prank each other! Maybe that is the secret to the perfect family Christmas, just revel in the chaos”

They re-enter the yard and gasp at the sight of the new fallen snow. Several feet has fallen in the few short hours they have been out, and the door is barely visible.

“Did you remember to pack the snow dispersal unit or is Alan digging his way in?” Gordon asks.

“With his bare hands?” Virgil adds.

“It’s on Thunderbird two, go and get it Virg” Scott tells him.

Virgl aims the snow dispersal unit at the front door and starts to melt the snow away and they all run inside where there is a fire roaring away ready for them with a large bag of marshmallows and seven toasting forks.

“Seven? Why seven? And who kept the fire going?” Scott asks, looking around for the source of the snacks.

“SANTA!” Alan cries delightfully.

“Not even close!” Lady Penelope says, walking back into the living room with a grin, and wrapping Gordon in her arms for a hug. “What took you all so long?”

“It’s a long story” Gordon replies, sinking down into his favourite squashy arm chair, and gazing out at the now still night.

“Hey look likes the storm is over”

Chapter three. Hot Chocolate

“Did you know?” Jeff asks Penelope.

“That Gordon was pranking you? Of course I did, he learned last year that pranking me was a terrible idea!” Lady Penelope replies with a smile.

They have all changed into matching fluffy Christmas pyjamas and are sitting around the fire, toasting marshmallows and eating baked potatoes cooked in the flames.

“I thought you were under cover with the GDF?” John asks.

“That ended a week ago, I was on my way home with the baby when Gordon told me his plan.” Lady Penelope replies. The baby, now closing in on his second birthday is sitting on the floor at the feet playing contentedly with a toy truck. “Why don’t you read that essay Al?”

Alan calls it up on his phone and groans. He really truly did deserve that F.

I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, Won't somebody help me?

I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, Won't somebody save me?

Do you wanna know how living is beneath the waves? Do you wanna know how everything I knew was changed?

It wasn’t such a big commotion, all it takes is magic potion With a wriggle, a twist, a splash and a splish, I’m a fish, Help me!

I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, Won't somebody help me? I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, Won't somebody save me?

Do you wanna take a whale bus? Wanna meet a stupid shark? Do you wanna ride a seahorse Or hide in an oyster park?

It wasn’t such a big commotion, all you need is magic potion with a wriggle, a twist, a splash and a splish, you're a fish,

Help me!

I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, Won't somebody help me?

I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, Won't somebody save me?

Help me, Help Me I need a remedy, Help me, Help Me I need a remedy.

Life is strange at the bottom of the ocean, You won't believe the things you see! Stay ashore, don’t give in to emotions, If you don’t want to be like me!

I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, Won't somebody help me?

I'm a little yellow fish in the deep blue sea, Won't somebody save me?

“Repeated 5000 times” Alan announces, trying not to laugh. “Isn’t it that song from that awful fish movie you used to make us watch on repeat all day?”

“No, it is from Help, I’m a Fish, that wonderful movie where a magic potion turns three children into fish, I was so jealous of them growing up, it’s all I ever wanted” Gordon says. “If it makes you feel any better if I was your professor, I would have given you an A. That is a truly wonderful essay”

Jeff gets up and heads into the kitchen, returning with a large camping pan full of milk chocolate and placing it on the fire to heat up, stirring the liquid until it is rich and creamy before pouring it into seven mugs and handing them around.

There is a happy silence among the group, here in the warmth and safety on the old farm house, the house that holds a million memories has just added one more. One more almost perfect evening together.

There is just one thing missing.

One thing that would make this Christmas absolutely perfect.

“Hey Gordon, since you disobeyed my orders about pranking, did you also disobey my order about a new Gordon original song?” Jeff asks.

Gordon takes one last gulp of his hot chocolate and stands up, climbs up onto the chair and loudly clears his throat.

“MHM-MMM”

“Dashing through the air

In a great big thunderbird

Rescues everywhere

Johnny is a nerd!

Scotty is a crank

Virgil loves coffee

Alan’s so much fun to prank

Hee hee hee hee hee

OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH

Thunderbirds, thunderbirds thundering away

Oh what fun it is to save

The whole world every day!

HEY!

Thunderbirds, thunderbirds thundering away

Oh what fun it is to save

The whole world every day”

“Bravo Gordon!” Virgil says applauding.

Everyone is laughing as they drink another round of hot chocolate and contemplate yet another imperfect perfect Tracy Christmas, and Jeff realises that he wouldn’t have his Christmas any other way, as despite everything, this may just be the best one yet!

The storm has given way to a cold but clear and starry night, and John can’t wait to get upstairs to his telescope when Gordon finally remembers the vital piece of news he was going to give Scott a week ago.

“Scott, I have good news and bad news” Gordon tells him.

Scott rolls his eyes; he just knows that there is no way any of this is good news! But he plays along.

“Oh just give me the good news” he replies, he can feel the face palm coming.

“The air bags on thunderbird one work perfectly!”

Scott gives him the face palm, but he is laughing.

“Never change Gordon, I can’t believe I ever tried to change you. You are perfect just the way you are” Scott tells him.

Gordon smiles and looks back at his eldest brother. “You too Scotty Claus!”

“SCOTTY CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN!” Alan starts to sing.

“Watch it Allie!” Scott replies in warning.

“No, look!” Alan replies.

 Scott goes to the window where a sleigh and eight reindeer are now residing on the lawn.