probably the next james bond again

date arrived in bayview: August 27, 2017 (originally moved early August 2014)

area(s) lived in: Seaside Heights

relationship history & status: Early on, Idris had his share of romantic encounters, but because he was not interested in anything serious, he steered clear of that. He did have one relationship early in his tenure in town.

Family: His daughter, Isan, and son, Winston visited fairly often while he lived in Bayview.

career 10 years ago: actor, director, producer, DJ, athlete, rapper

THE NOW:

date left bayview: January 2022

past residence: London, England

current residence: London, England

relationship status: Idris got married very soon after leaving town, because of course he did. That’s always how it works.

Family: Same family, just older and giving him more gray hairs than before.

current career: actor, director, producer, DJ, athlete, rapper, entrepreneur

FUN STUFF:

favorite location in bayview: The Rusty Wheel

favorite food spot in bayview: The Rusty Wheel

favorite drink (alcoholic or non-alcoholic!) spot in bayview: Paco’s Tacos (yes that sounds weird, given his love of TRW but the margaritas!)

favorite event or party: Christmas album recording was always one of the greatest joy, down to the follow-up concert.

best memory in bayview: Gerard’s 50th murder mystery birthday party where Gerard got mega murdered, fulfilling all of his dreams. Also, getting to put on a concert with all of his friends every year at Christmas.

favorite project involved in: Christmas album

favorite sport played: baseball

favorite trip taken: Paris, because there’s nothing wrong with being a little bit fancy

That’s because I am one of a kind. It makes sense why someone could never replicate what I’ve already created for myself, don’t you think? I don’t know, maybe I’m just miserable and thrive in the misery? That seems to fit my entire aesthetic of life. Sounds like a solid way to do it. I sort of wish we could sneak back in.

You’re...something mate. A miserable fuck, maybe. Though we’re too much of a pair for you to be one of a kind. Sorry that you’re stuck with me, but at least we have some nefarious plans to act out, eh?

There you go. Or maybe hide out in the restroom until the plane landed. It didn’t! It replayed the same songs or you only had a few skips every few hours. You won’t have to worry about that! I’m fast asleep around that time so you’re in luck! What’s the latest and/or earliest that I’m able to bother you? That way, I can note it down somewhere. 

I think the other passengers might get mad if you spend your whole time in the bathroom. Maybe. That was just...not a fun time in music. Spotify gives you a lot of control. Latest/earliest? Depends on the night and what I’m doing, to be honestly. Probably like 4 am on a night I’m working.

Pretty much inferior to you n every single way, but that’s alright, I feel like we knew that already, regardless. Hard to be mad about that, right? Especially when they can come up with any reason under the sun to hate someone. No, and heaven forbid you said something like that to them, too. They would remind you that those days are long over, and were basically the stone ages.

I’m simply an incredible specimen of humanity and not enough people appreciate me as I am for what I am. They sure can, it’s easy to hate someone if you’re really motivated to find a reason for it. That’s right, we’re old for even remembering those days, in fact.

And then at least that way, when you go back to eating pepperoni pizza, it’s kind of fresh and new in some ways, right? It would be weird if I suddenly didn’t feel like I could handle it – but good for you and the rest of the world, I think that we’re good to go. Princess Delta is just ready to have some fun at the Getaway this weekend, though!

Then you’re just like “damn, I love pepperoni...why wasn’t I eating it?” But you know damn well it was because you were tired of it, and then you aren’t anymore. Princess Delta was the star of the show at the Getaway, from what I saw. As she deserves to be.

Alright, I guess you might be on to something with that idea, come to think of it. What matters is that someone finds my essence… and who am I to argue, really? That’s not a bad thing to look forward to, actually. Getting to finally find some peace and quiet? Seems like exactly what I need in my life. Are you heading out to the Getaway this weekend?

They’ll never get the looks right, it’s the vibes that matter. Now me and Denzel? Exact same vibes, so that’s actually correct. That’s all you’ve ever needed, and yet it’s evaded you. What’s been up with that? I’ve been out about, enjoying the sun and the drinks and all that.

We only need one of you in the world, which means we only need one person who can have your level of smarts, I can appreciate that, honestly. Those portable chargers are life savers, aren’t they? I know whenever the power goes out, the kids go running to find the nearest one, as though they can’t survive for a couple of hours in the dark or something.

That’s right. Everyone else? Inferior to me in smartness. They’re a godsend, the best device ever invented since fried rice, and they kept my kids from hating me forever. You know, it wasn’t that long ago when kids had to, but they don’t even think about that these days.

It’s true, and then you want something new and exciting that really inspires you! And who knows, then it could become your brand new love that you can’t let go of, too. I could also be a princess superstar if I played my cards right. Nothing wrong with taking on a few titles at once, right? Might end up working out okay for me!

That’s how I feel every time I try a new type of pizza. Like I’m tired of pepperoni, so it’s on to the one with bacon. Which is the best kind. Well, I assume you are always ready to take on the title, like it’s like what you were born to do and who you were born to be. You are Princess Delta, after all.

And here I was going to call up Denzel Washington to see if he could handle taking on the role of you, meanwhile, you’re hitting me with something like that. Although arguably, Steve is an amazing, underrated actor, so I don’t know, I think he could do it pretty well. That’s true, and if we find happiness in the after life, that should count for something. They didn’t succeed, though! That’s the important thing.

Hey, I think mine was accurate to you spiritually! It’s hard to get your handsome on the screen, that’s all, so we need to go with your spirit and it’s exactly the same. We’ll find happiness in the afterlife because people will leave us the hell alone. Absolutely, the important thing is that they failed.

That’s why you scope out the place and try to find the other smoker. Or again, rely heavily on something to cover your face. Some people can’t bring themselves to stop, and they’re welcome to continue if they please. It saved us from Pandora which seemed to replay the same songs. Aw, you’d do that? I’ll keep you on speed dial if they give me any issues. 

Find the guy who is sitting between two non smokers and making them miserable and work on establishing a real balance there. You’re a very smart lady, though you’ve probably known that already. Yeah, they can keep with it if they must. Pandora also gave you no control there. Just can’t guarantee I’ll be happy if you call on me at 3 am.

That’s jut the way that life goes, though. The rest of us may try, but we’re never going to be quite as smart as you, and maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Gives you time to hold everything over our heads, at least! Okay, okay, good point. That means there hasn’t been any major melt downs now or anything, though?

Well, if I’m already this smart, no one else needs to be this smart. That’s the beauty of it for other people. As though I need something to hold over all of your heads, Zachary. You know better than that. No, no. They coped, there was a bit of sadness when a phone died but we found a charger.

You do eventually reach a point where you just don’t want to do something anymore, even when it’s something that you like. So, you know, good point. We all need those little vacations from our own lives, so to speak! It’s true, I wouldn’t be me if I just allowed myself to blend in with the crowd.

Sometimes even the things we once loved very much have past their time, right? And that’s fine, you don’t want to put in the work for it and want to work on something else. That’s life. Well yeah, Well yeah, you’ve gotta stand out and if you can’t be a princess, you can always be a superstar.

You’re not wrong about that. I just hope that someone makes a movie about it someday. And that it ends up breaking the box office records and we go down in infamy once and for all. Which is what we deserve, right? Alright, fine, then I will try not to let anything awful happen to me while I’m out here. Try, being the key word, though.

We should get to hand choose who plays each other- that’ll be our parting gift to each other as you’re immortalized as Steve Buschemi. There’s a startling similarity of appearance there. Well, at least our ghosts will be happy, right? Try, yeah. But there are things that want to kill you in the wilderness.

You might as well beg someone to switch with you! Or breathe through your sweater in hopes that it wouldn’t be so intense. I don’t mind it whenever people are smoking outdoors. Just not indoors. Spotify always helps me find new artists, and I love listening to other people’s playlists on there. I should! I’ll blast it until my neighbors complain that I’m being too loud. 

But you know people won’t, because then they have to deal with the intensity, unless it’s another smoker in the middle. People gotta smoke, right? I mean they don’t gotta, but you know what I mean there. Spotify has been great since its invention, just needs to be better at paying people. And if they argue? Let me know and I’ll sweet talk them.

There are way worse things that people deal with every single day! But you know, I don’t think we have to worry too much. Me too, and I don’t even pay someone! I should’ve taken a page out of your book for that one, maybe offered the nanny a little extra cash, but no, I got through it… somehow. It was a struggle, though. Oh, nice! And do they know there’s shitty cell phone service and no electricity this time around?

I think that’s not a concern right now, at the very least. Yeah, see. I’m very smart at that sort of thing. Give the nanny a bit extra and you’re set. Shhhh, they’re still enjoying their time without knowing that, we don’t want to ruin it for them just yet, right? 

A little bit of both, I think. I don’t mind working as long as it’s also genuinely something that I enjoy doing, you know? Otherwise, not so much. It really is, why would you go out without wearing the right hat to go with things? You’d just end up looking silly! And you’re right about it making me stand out, too.

Yeah, exactly, but everything you “enjoy” doing even has its threshold, even if people don’t want to admit it. I mean, no one wants to be always working without breaks, even if they like to say they do. Like me. Well, I’ve never known you to not want to stand out at least a little bit.

You’re probably right about that, we’ll be re-writing the classic tale to where both of us end up being taken out by the stampeding herds, huh? But at least it does seem a little more fair that way. Wouldn’t you just be satisfied knowing that nature finally took me out? Or, more accurately, my incredibly bad back?

It seems like the only good end for us, Ger. That we both end up dead in an attempt to kill each other. It is our destiny. The thing is, I do care about you, or rather I care about my commitment to be the person who kills you. So now, I’m not happy with nature doing it.