say it again, war

Hello people of Hawaii, I have arrived. It’s Brittany… bitch. I have one important question for you all - has anyone spotted mermaids yet? It’s kind of my life goal and I want mermaid hair for my scrapbook.

Are you gonna cut it? Cause that’s not really cool. Mermaids shouldn’t have their hair taken away from them, we gotta leave them alone and just watch and admire.

Kinda makes being just human seem boring by comparison, doesn’t it?

Yep. Can’t have it even at all.

It totally does. But at least we have scrambled eggs, they don’t have that, so that’s definitely an advantage.

I guess that is two carnivores and an herbevore–conflicting. Maybe it would turn you into an omnivore and you could eat anything you wanted. Plus then you could have a trunk AND gills!

Chocolate’s the bomb, though. For me–not for Mason. He’s allergic.

I’d love gills, so that would be pretty awesome. I’d be one interesting looking creature, I’d have a lot of stuff going on.

A sunburn is completely different than saying a bunch of shit online. 

Well in the technical sense, yes. But I’m just saying, well never mind. I think I stopped making sense like three posts ago.

Maybe we will become superstars. Ever think about that? Maybe even go to awards shows and all.

That would be cool, even though I don’t think I’d go to awards shows, I just don’t believe that someone should be put down while their opponent wins the award. But superstar status would be pretty cool, we’d be like Kim K.

So here’s what I’m thinking: we all have a watching party together for the first episode, and then we take it outside and build up a gorgeous big bonfire and drink and laugh so that we don’t all try to fight each other about anything the episode might reveal.

I can make food–if anyone wants to help me or make sure we have other things we need or want for The Island First Episode Extravaganza, just let me know!

That’d be awesome, especially ‘cause I don’t believe in fighting at all. No matter what happens, there should never be any fighting cause all we need is love. You’d have to make sure that this bonfire was full of campfire songs too because that’d be fun. That Michael Finnegan song is so freaking catchy too.

Still can’t believe that I am in paradise with amazing warm weather. All of my friends are getting frustrated with my multiple beach snapchats while they are stuck with the joy of Chicago snow. I would say I miss it but being able to lay around on the beach is so much better then to be bundling up for the snow. 

Not gonna lie, getting to be in paradise while it’s raining where I live is pretty cool. It’s okay to not miss it, I totally get that. I’m not a huge fan of the cold, I just like wearing shorts and stuff and that kinda prevents me to be able to do so, so I feel that.

Being an idiot is also a thing. I doubt the sun can make that much damage. 

I don’t think I’m an idiot. The sun’s really powerful, dude.  Just ask the millions of people who have to suffer through sunburn.

Here is to hoping that!

Plus everyone seems pretty likable, I think the show will really catch on.

Confessional #1

That is some mega weird shit. You sure someone didnt spoke your sugar?

I’m more than sure. I just think that my brain likes to have it’s weird thoughts while I’m sleeping so I act at least somewhat normal during the day.

Yeah, maybe you did. That, or you ate some of your brother’s brownies… Did you?

It’s a good thing I’m not leaving any time soon then. That’s a good question. I don’t think so. I mean not that I remember cause I like to naturally have wacky dreams. 

Why not bearshark? Bearshakephant?

Did you find the gold?

That’s probably the best idea I’ve ever heard. Imagine chilling as a bearshark, and having half gills. Or even a bearshakephant although I feel like if I was that, I’d get torn between what I wanted to eat and I dunno if it would work. 

As the motto goes: hugs… not drugs, dude.

That’s always my motto, dude. Do you know how awesome of a place the world would be if we all just gave hugs? Think about it. Instead of allowing some poor person to be stressed about working or something, you just give them a hug instead. I used to carry around a Free Hugs sign in college sometimes. 

Sugar? Is that what people are calling it these day?

For real though, that was a ride the entire way through. I want to have dreams like that. I don’t know what I’d want to be reincarnated as though. There are too many awesome things in the world to choose from.

Nah, I swear it really was just me eating some late night sweets. 

Maybe you’ve made yourself sun sick. Is that a real thing? I don’t even know. Your dreams are…definitely vivid.

Anything’s a real thing as long as someone believes in it. Dreams are actually a really complex subject. Sometimes we think we dream stuff and we don’t and usually within minutes, any dreams that you remembered from the night are gone. It’s kinda really sketchy.

How fucking high are you?

I’m not, man. I think I’ve just been chilling in the sun for too long. I’m sun high, it’s a thing.