🍓

Want to sit and cry and cry and cry and cry

it is sort of funny in a long view way that my recent mental emotional anguish is entirely due to me having too much love in my life. Like i have two different people who love me and want to be with me and who I love and want to be with. And the problem is that I cant be with both of them anymore even though I was for a time. I have to pick. And I kind of already know who Id choose but that would mean completely uprooting my life and moving back to florida. So its like. A bit complicated. And also i love my person I have here and I dont want to hurt her. But I also feel like I can't be truly happy with her either. But being with her is also wonderful and represents a stability and calmness that ive had for five years now. A safety. An easy safe choice. And being single would be incredibly hard financially right now and also sad when. I have people in my life who ACTIVELY WANT ME and who i also want 😭 anyway. Love triangles suck and poly is awesome when it works and deeply deeply heartbreaking when it doesnt work. And you should be prepared for that if youre gonna do it.

Im really likeeeee.............................i should just pick a direction and start walking. Atp. Truly.