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it meant something to me! maybe that can be enough

Didnt listen + Dont Care + I need you + I dont need you + I need you + I dont need you

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

bouncing on it in repentance

crying and begging for forgiveness on it

scalloped potatoes that take the pain away

beef that makes you someone it didn't happen to

You cannot live alone on the fantasies you feed to your mind, eventually you have to touch your life for real, assess and analyze your habits, understand your character, try not to hate yourself for your character as it was shaped when you were very young by circumstances outside of you, and begin learning how to cope with your character, how to build habits that work for you, finish small projects, finish big projects, expose yourself to more uncomfortable situations, assess why you want to leave that friendship before you leave it, raise your anxiety levels on purpose, so that you can grow, raise your work load on purpose, so that you can grow, so that you can build resilience, so that your life expands, and can be experienced by you in full and in reality

there are tuesdays happening that have never happened before