PJ

Hi, my name is PJ. I’m a teenager, I use he/him pronouns, some of my favorite things are Red Dead Redemption, Trainspotting, comic books, and I love to draw. I made this blog because I love talking, and because of my lack of social skills I don’t have many good friends I can speak to about all the topics I want to. I hope if you stumble across my page you can follow along- what I’ll post will vary greatly on what I’m feeling most interested in that day. I’ll try to be consistent, but zero promises. If you wish to reach me elsewhere, I have discord and a TikTok page- please ask if you want any of those.

For more context, I’m diagnosed with really bad generalized anxiety. I take medication for it, but it doesn’t work well all the time, especially when it comes to social situations and ect. So, this weekend my father randomly sprung on me that we’d be having dinner with his ‘friend’ and her kids (who were my age, another thing that greatly makes me uncomfortable). I got upset, obviously? First, I tend to get overwhelmed and upset when there’s plans made I didn’t know of, and also well my anxiety abt legit everything. Then only after dinner with them did he inform me about going bowling. Which upset me even more given my again, anxiety. Also, I do not like loud places. So the next day, when I make plans with my friends to avoid having to go out with my dad, my FOUR little sisters, and his friend + her kids, he accuses me of not wanting to be around my family. It’s just so exhausting. It feels like no one understands.

This happens to me relatively often in fact. Daily; hourly even. It’s not like I’m sulking, or thinking of anything particular when it happens. My father often says I should smile more, and things along those lines. But I don’t ever feel the need. Sometimes I’ll force myself to smile along, because it’s only polite to. Moments of happiness or emotion in general don’t strike me very often, and I don’t really see much of a problem with this. I’m wondering if anyone else is going through or has gone through something similar? It’d ease my thoughts to know I’m not alone.