🦁🐍

Ravenclaw: why did you just censor that?

Harry: ACCIO MY PARENTS

[two corpses come flying through the window]

Harry: *screaming*

Marauders: *sipping their chocolate milks*

Pansy: don’t let Draco scare you, he’s not that scary. He used to do ballet

Harry: no way!

Pansy: you two must have gone wild

Draco: haha yeah...

[the night before]

Harry: I bet you can’t jump high enough to touch the ceiling

Draco: (from across the great hall) HEEEEYYYYY POTTTAAAAAH!!

Harry: WHAT?!

Draco: WHAT’S THAT THING ON YOUR NECK? THAT BIG RIPE PURPLEY BLOTCH THERE?!

Harry: IT’S A HICKEY, MALFOY. YOU SHOULD KNOW-

Draco: OH HOW SILLY OF ME, THAT’S RIGHT. I GAVE A HICKEY TO HARRY POTTER BECAUSE HE BLOODY BELONGS TO ME! EVERYBODY HEAR THAT? THAT’S MY POTTER! NOBODY TOUCH HIM!

James: you’re awfully quiet Moony

Bellatrix: now remember Draco, the quickest way to someone’s heart is-

6 year old Draco: through the 4th and 5th rib

Harry: just watch me

Harry: *approaches Draco*

Harry: I dare you to go out with me

Draco: I’m not falling for that

Harry: ok, I guess I win then

Draco: HELL NO! Blaise hold my bag, you think imma let you win? Well DiNg DoNg YoU aRe WrOnG-

Harry: see you in Hogsmade tomorrow then *wink*

Draco: *realizes what just happened* 0_0

Hermione: why are Harry and Draco sitting with their backs at each other?

Pansy: they has a fight

Hermione: then why are they holding hands?

Harry: *sweats nervously*

Harry: It’s my to-do list.

Hermione: Oh? That’s great! I’m so glad that you’re starting to be more organiz-

Harry: You remind me of the ocean

Draco: Why? Because I’m deep and beautiful?*winks*