Untitled

I've probably watched too much Leverage, because a man in campus cop uniform came in to ask questions about our box office safe today and my boss let him in and gave him all the info he wanted, no questions asked, and all I could think is that we are horrifically easy to con

Maybe he is? Have you checked?

No, although I did check the organizational ID of the British woman who came in to do a last minute film shoot on the second floor, bringing with her an equipment cart large enough to hide a person in.

So it turns out that there is, indeed, money missing from the safe.

"You should always strictly follow the rules, unless i think they're stupid, in which case you can't stop me" is a great trait for a female character to have

being anti-amatonormativity in a romance centered world is like watching half the people you know put all their eggs in one basket and then drop the basket and all their eggs break and they’re crying and swearing they’re never gonna do that again and then a month later they have all new eggs in a new basket and they tell you the problem was they didn’t have a strong enough basket or fresh enough eggs and then they drop the fucking basket again.

I think some people on this post don’t know what the phrase “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” means… or why it means that.

Do not fall for the grindset mentality; jerk off and eat a hot pocket to recover spiritually

one of my favorite bits in lord of the rings is something the movies didn't really try to do because it's entirely internal, but sam's carrying the ring and it starts trying to do its work on him, so he's having these intrusive visions of himself marching at the head of a vast and terrible army, and he just starts laughing because, me? samwise gamgee? sam gamgee the general sam gamgee the dark lord are you for real? man i just want to go home and do some gardening. and the ring gets frustrated and it starts trying to figure out other stuff that would actually tempt sam and it's finally like, okay, but hear me out: imagine if you could have...A REALLY REALLY BIG GARDEN

and then he's like, i don't know that sounds like a lot more work than a regular garden actually. why don't we just get on with finding mister frodo

Good day my horniest monsterfuckers may you get pounded and bred by the mythical beast of your choice

What if we want to do the pounding to the Mythical Beast of our choice? 🥹👉👈

ITS BIG PIG MONDAY YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

In retrospect, consider the number 1 thing every grade-schooler knows about plants is they take in light, the idea they might be able to see should not wreck my shit as hard as it does

biting the hand that feeds me but im also sucking on the fingers a bit

the enemy drank water today. did you?

i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win