Exy

It’s not “people who contour are themselves automatically racist” but that the desired face shape created by contouring is one that, at the end of the day, pretty much reflects existing white standards of beauty. A thinner, pointier nose, smaller chin, high angled cheekbones and (on occasion) smaller lips. Also if you’re darker skinned you have to use a much lighter shade of foundation  thus ending up with an overall lighter face.

I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."

As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.

Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.

A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.

As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"

Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.

You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.

It was not.

It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.

And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.

This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.

After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.

None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.

With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.

Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.

"Phyllis," said he.

The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.

"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"

Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.

Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.

it was not.

the idea of ilya handfeeding shane slices of mango and shane then licking the juice from ilya's hand and the intersection of two pleasures he only receives from ilya and ilya's satisfaction in facilitating shane's pleasure in a way no one else has or can

and thus starts using "i'm allergic to that" as an attempt to get out of things he doesn't like

"i'm allergic to aunt gina's house"

"no, you're not, honey-"

which means a very normal exchange is something like "shane, can you put the laundry in the dryer?" "no, i'm allergic" as he gets up to do it but ilya who is still trying to understand the full scope of this is??? shane no?? if you are allergic?? do not do it?? yuna why are you asking this of him???

and then after ilya has a better grasp on actual allergies versus bit, it gets adopted into their house as well, but NOW it presents issues for anyone ELSE trying to work out wtf is safe to have at a team barbeque or not.

ilya trying to get shane to try the salsa someone brought and shane who hates cilantro even if he's not allergic to it just *head recoil* "ugh, no, i'm allergic"

Dignity of risk is the idea that self-determination and the right to take reasonable risks are essential for dignity and self esteem and so should not be impeded by excessively-cautious caregivers, concerned about their duty of care. - from the wikipedia page

let shane have his mango!!! he knows the consequences and is equipped and able to deal with them!!

imagining ilya having to talk to galina about it and how he knows he’s starting to do better about his mom when he stops having panic attacks at the thought of shane having his inadvisable mango

absolutely an important topic 🫡

but ilya gets home, repeats this, and shane is "wow I can't believe I HAVE to eat mango to help you do therapy"

"you don't HAVE t-"

i have a very special scenario in my head of shane who is used to feeling like this and finding a quiet place to assess what tf is happening to him rn so he can decide if cold water on his face or hospital.

(not even considering the fact that hiding away while potentially having a life-threatening allergic response is an AWFUL move).

and i am especially endeared by the idea of it going from him going off and doing this by himself to ilya clocking him leaving the room in a way that says Not Okay and following him and the two of them in just a quiet little pocket of space together, with shane having already handed over his auvi-q (the version of an epipen that fits in a suit pocket) just in case.

OH MAN in vegas, ilya canonically was freaking out ahead of time in anticipation of seeing shane again, so i posit that he was denying that he was freaking the fuck out and was trying to lie to himself and say it was just low blood sugar, so he grabbed something from craft services backstage.

and it's fucking. peanut butter crackers.

THIRD OPTION: EXTREMELY UNFORTUNATE TIME TO PURSUE FINGER SUCKING AFTER ILYA WAS PICKING AT THINGS DURING THE WAIT FOR SHANE TO SHOW UP AT THE PENTHOUSE BUT ALSO DRINKING VODKA SO SHANE DOESN'T SMELL IT ON HIS BREATH

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE WAS THE ONE WHO FOUND HIS MOM

AND THE FACT THAT THIS IS PROBABLY SO EXTREMELY ON HIS MIND GIVEN HOW CLOSE HE IS TO GOING BACK FOR THE SUMMER AND THE MEMORIES THAT WOULD HAVE ALREADY DREDGED UP

oh my god WAIT

ilya who remembers when the responders who came to the house took his mother away, and he never saw her again, and it's totally irrational, but he manages to get shane's epipen and help shane use it, and then he helps shane get dressed so he can get to a more neutral area before he calls for an ambulance, and he's SUPPOSED to leave. he's going to leave. it's just going to cause some uncomfortable ass questions if he doesn't leave and has to come up with a story about why he was with hollander and why he's with him now and why he still hasn't let go of him even though he has him back in his room now.

and yet.

again: IRRATIONAL. he KNOWS it's irrational. but there's a part of him that's still thinking, "if i let them take hollander away right now, then i will never see him again." because he's BEEN HERE before. and it doesn't make sense, but trauma and fear NEVER do.

so ilya ends up going with him.

and listen. shane atp?? nauseous, still can't fully breathe right, still not fully present. in his right mind, he'd be sending ilya the FUCK away because embarassing and also doesn't want questions. but in this moment?? can't feel anything but relief when he climbs in the ambulance with him to ride along because he's at least someone familiar in the middle of all of this.

and then at the hospital, they get shane stable and ilya should go. he should totally go. he knows he should go.

and yet he doesn't. he's already here. there's already going to be questions. it's a little bit reckless and a little bit fuck it, but the damage is already done. might as well stick around until he can be sure that shane is actually okay. it's not like he's going to sleep tonight after this because jesus FUCK.

and texts keep coming through on shane's phone, but shane is sleeping, and ilya keeps seeing "Mom" and "Dad" pop up over and over and over because obviously the hospital contacted them. and ilya KNOWS he shouldn't answer. but shane can't do it right now, and there's parents worrying about him, and won't it just stress him out if he wakes up to thirty phonecalls-

and on call number thirteen from Mom, he picks the phone up and answers.

and yeah yuna is confused as FUCK why ILYA FUCKING ROZANOV is answering her son's phone after she got a call that shane had been admitted to a hospital because of an allergic reaction, but she also doesn't have a lot of other fucking options for getting updates on her baby, so fine. talking to this cocky ass kid it is.

except...he doesn't sound cocky? he actually sounds...almost sweet? he's answering questions as best he can and even tries to read some stuff in the notes the doctor left guided by what yuna tells him to look for. and she's on her way to the airport right now to get there and asks ilya to tell shane that she'll be there as fast as she can because he hates being in the hospital by himself, and in a moment of TOTAL fucking impulse ilya says he'll wait.

and he does.

the first time yuna and ilya meet face to face outside of that first elevator scene is when yuna finds him by her son's bed in the hospital keeping him company so he wouldn't have to be alone.

The answer is: the uterus isn't what causes your period, it is effected by your period. What causes your period and what causes trans women's periods is the same thing: the endocrine system.

HRT changes the sex of your endocrine system. Feminizing HRT makes it a female endocrine system, giving us a 28-day hormone cycle just like cis women. At the end of that cycle, the hypothalamus floods the body with prostaglandins. Those are what cause all but one of the period symptoms, because they make muscles inflame and contract. They are what make the uterus shed its lining, they are what cause intestinal cramps, they are what cause body aches, they are what cause headaches and migraines. The only period symptom not causes by the release of prostaglandins throughout the body is depression, and that is caused by your endocrine system simply not processing as much estrogen and from simply feeling like shit.

So, the only symptoms trans women don't get every 28 days is menstrual cramps, because yes we do not menstruate since we don't have uteruses. But migraines, depression, body aches, intestinal cramps, and the infamous "period shits" don't exactly add up to us having any better of a time. Except we have to pretend that we're fine and nothing is different because no one believes that we get periods, not even cis women.