An excerpt from 'The Wild of You' a chapter titled: The True Vhenan
The feeling of excitement and Dread fell like a cloud over Niiculla as she walked down the path towards the old wyvern's cave. Her hand laced within his own. His voiced echoed a thousand truths and his lips smiled at her, "The veil is thin here; you can feel it tingling on your skin. I was trying to determine some way to show you what you mean to me."
Niiculla smiled, coyly. He brought that out in her. The elven child that grew up alongside him. "Besides revealing yourself and all the epic sex?"
Solas laughed. At first it was amusing but fell grim after a moment. Trying to mask himself in quiet resolve and failing. "The vallaslin you wear... It is a symbol of mine. Roses and thorns that represent a love I once had."
"A love and admiration for Mythal and not me... I was young and I thought maybe I could be... Nevermind it's pointless now." Turning from him to leave Solas quickly grabbed Niiculla's arm.
"That is not true. I loved Mythal like a friend. A dear friend. When she had told me that her apprentice was to be my bride; I was afraid. To put you in the middle of the chaos.. I couldn't." He touched her face gently. "And here I am again. My poor decisions putting you in the chaos once more."
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The feelings that swept over him as he watched her face contort to one of heartache. No! He could not bare this. His mind flashed back to her face.
Cradling Mythal's broken body. A silent scream. Memories aching and falling away like leaves in the fall. Standing beside the river bank as he let her go. She was so young. Her hands reach up and grasp the crystal wolf around her neck. The gift of a true vhenan, torn from his one true love.
Shaking his head back to reality Niiculla looked at him, tears staining her eyes, "You're doing this again. Pulling away from me in the name of duty. That's bullshit, Solas! And you know it!" he stared at her as she looked down. The tears were coming faster now. Flashes like lightning in a storm.
Quickly, Niiculla threw something at him. It was too fast for him to recognize what it was before it hit the ground. "Keep it!" she shouted at him. Solas threw his hands up as a sign of submission and surrender. Standing inches from his lips and his blue eyes, Niiculla gave him her silent goodbye, "You live with it. It was always your heart to break."
Pulling back, she stormed off back towards the cave and he sunk to the ground. The pain in his chest spread far and wide. Her name that once echoed through his veins was now fading. A silent scream as he clawed at his face in rage. His eyes glowed as he quickly stood. Toes digging into the dirt as he spun. Bare knuckles held tight and white, collided with the stone. The crunch of breaking bone did not phase him as he fell to the ground. Solas cried. A thousand tears shed. His mind reached for the moment in the fall. His broken hand reaching up to the memory as if to grab her. Wrap his arms around her and never let go. But it too faded. And his hand fell back again to the dirt.
Out of the corner of his eye, Solas could see a shimmer in the moonlight. Turning his head he grasped the crystal quartz wolf. She kept it. She held on to him all these years. He now understood why when he awoke, he could not find it. She must have come back for it. Disregarding the pain that shot up his arm from his hand, he stared at the wolf. No. He would be better this time. He would win her back. Somehow.
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