sylvester seabrook

cop pulls me over little does he know my drivers license is written in elf hieroglyphics & blinds anyone who reads it

imean sure im a liar and a cheat but i'm an honest guy

It's not enough to call your knight a "good boy". Sometimes you've got to hit him with a "you're the only one worthy to sit at my feet".

can i come over and bleed on your floor

lol yeah go ahead try and attack me *notices i left my dragon scale talisman of immortality at home* or maybe lets not be too hasty

your knight's unending loyalty for you is kinda parasocial and lowkey problematic...

try not to laugh for 10,000 years challenge ends in failure when on the 3,652,424th day a delightful tumbling beetle causes me to chuckle whistfully

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

until fairly recently my home town was plagued by a wicked old man who would soar through the air, like a bird, laughing and howling, and crush the heads of random townsfolk with his mallet, before shrieking off into the night sky. I don't know what happened to him

lets out one truly pitiful little whimper & then goes back to doing fucking whatever

The loudest guy in the fucking world: hey man

There's more after 'hey man' but you're deaf now

can i come over n bite u hard as fuck

mayb i start 1 day no killing challenge and build up from there?

yaouch! that hurts me when you hit me until I'm blood