Paging Dr Dynamite! You've made it to ground zero

The life of a search and rescue hero wasn’t the worst; you could sort of just freelance, and you weren’t tied down to one agency or another. Your hours weren’t the same as the rest of the pro heroes; however, when you were needed, you knew it wouldn’t be a short job. The pay was pretty good too! However, being out late in the cold rain of Kyoto, sifting through rubble and climbing through hazardous parts and pieces of collapsed buildings wasn’t the ideal way to spend your nights.

So when Zip Komori was finally able to go home, all he could think about was taking a hot shower and climbing into his warm bed to cuddle with his husband. The way home was a long one but it was worth it. He shut the door behind him quietly, took off his shoes, slid into some comfy house slippers, and tried to tiptoe into his shared bedroom. It had to be 3 am by now; he didn’t need to wake up Shu! However, the further he walked, the more it sounded like the guy was already awake.

With his hearing, it was pretty easy to pick up on the soft but still intense and frustrating sneezing fits. Zip pushed open the door slowly and popped his head inside, and his eyes softened at the sight. Shu wore a slightly oversized, dark grey hoodie, tissues scattered on his side of the bed with the tissue box his side, usually where Zip would cuddle with him. His head was propped up with pillows while he sat curled, one hand holding the switch and the other rubbing the cuff of his hoodie sleeve against his angry red nose. Dark circles under his eyes weren’t hard to miss, especially on his flushed face.

Zip stepped in fully and dropped his back off in the corner beside the door as he finally made his presence known.

“Ey, baby.” Shu looked up and then looked at the time, then back at Zip. “Oh damb, its 3 am!” Zip chuckled and nodded as he started to strip off his sweatshirt. “What are you doing up with a bad cold like that, baby?” Shu sniffled a few times wetly.

“Got too stuffy ssdrrff sdrrff to sleep then sdrrgh ugh, bmy dnose wouldn’t stop’b ruddig and-dnuhh and dnow I-I cahh hehh!” His words trailed off as he hitched, the hand on the switch lost its grip and let the game console flop onto his lap as he lost control.

“Ehgh! Et’chiew! Het’shiiew! ET’sshiiiew! Heh'EsSSHH! heh-TSCH’iew!” Zip watched him sneeze into the cupped cuffs of his sweatshirt; they were pretty intense. Poor thing was hunched over!

Zip went over and grabbed a couple of tissues and waited for the other to sit up before he started to clean him up. Multiple thin strands of snot dripped down from his red flaring nostrils into his hands; the dark grey got even darker from the heavy spray. As he wiped Shu’s nose, he commented.

“Goodness, sounds like a bad cold in your nose.” Shu sniffled thickly, which in turn made him cough, and it sure didn’t sound good.

“Or in your throat, ouch. Here, blow.” Zip gently held the bundle of tissues to Shu’s nose while his other hand rubbed soft circles into his back. “Kough kough! Probably a bit of both.” Shu said before blowing; it sounded productive, meaning he was getting something out. Yet when Shu was still sniffly, wetly, Zip knew he was gonna need to get on this now. After he tossed the tissues and the rest that were on the bed into the trash can that he’d empty later, he went through their drawers and grabbed some fresh pjs and told Shu.

“Come on, shower time.” Shu looked confused for a second. “You need to get that stuff out of you, and I want a hot shower; you’re getting in with me.” Zip clarified; Shu sluggishly agreed without a word.

Old clothes dropped to the tile floor, and the heat of the shower enveloped them quickly. Zip sighed as the hot water from the overhead settings melted the aches of the day’s work out of him. Shu mostly leaned against the wall; he didn’t have much energy, but the heat did chase away the chills. It was also making his nose run more. Zip could hear those liquid sniffles clear as day. “Don’t keep snorting it back, just let it run.” He chastised. Shu almost sniffled again purely from reflex-and spite- but he stopped himself. For a bit Zip just wanted to enjoy the warmth, yet when he looked back he couldn’t help but laugh. Shu’s nose had run down his face! Zip raised a wet hand and gingerly wiped at Shu’s nose again.

“There you go, see isn’t that better?” Shu nodded a little and leaned into Zip’s shoulder, his shoulders shoulder as he rubbed his nose into the taller man. Zip reached and pushed the wet mop of blue hair out of Shu’s face and laughed some more.

“Oh my, you poor thing you really do feel awful. Have you eaten anything today?” Shu shook his head.

“Sobe crackers, but I didn’t wadda get up after that.” Zip sighed and turned off the water and wrapped his arms around Shu.

“Well, we can’t have that now, can we?” Zip helped his husband out of the shower, dry off, and into some clean clothes.

“You go back to bed, I’ll make ya something, okay?” As Zip headed out of the bathroom, something grabbed at the back of his own t-shirt.

“Hm?” He hummed. Shu then came up behind him and mumbled lowly.

“You dod’t have to. I cad wait till the sud’s up.” Zip frowned and turned around.

“You haven’t eaten much at all today; you need something.” He pointed out. Shu shrugged nonchalantly; he seemed almost guilty, his voice quiet and small. “You’ve been working all day between basketball and that rescue bmissiod, its the bmiddle of the dnight, i cad wait.” Zip placed a kiss on his forehead and hummed again with slight disapproval at how warm Shu’s skin felt.

“It won't take me much to heat up from instant ramen and get you some fever reducer. I don’t mind.” Shu sounded like he wanted to protest, but he said nothing, so Zip spun him around and pushed him towards their bed.

“Alright, alright, to bed you go, Mr Nightowl.” He made sure Shu actually climbed into bed and got under the covers and was settled before he disappeared into the kitchen. As he promised, it didn’t take long to make some instant ramen, grab a water bottle, and some medicine. Sure, by now it was almost 4 am, and yeah, Zip was tired, but he knew he wouldn’t sleep if Shu couldn’t. Throughout the process, he could hear the poor thing sniffling, blowing his nose, and sneezing from the other room.

When he walked back in with the items, like before Shu was all cooped up with his Nintendo Switch, playing Mario Kart. “Ey there, kitten.” Zip called out in a soft voice. Shu looked up; he looked pitiful. His eyes were glassy, and he looked so small in their bed. Zip went to his side of the bed and placed it all on his nightstand.

“Here, take your time, alright.” He then went to his own side, crawled under the covers, and cuddled up to Shu. The blue-haired mafia villain quietly set down his game and took the ramen and leaned against Zip’s frame as he ate. Zip decided to spend a lil time on his phone, even when Shu finished his ramen and shimmied himself to curl up on Zip’s chest.

“You take the meds?” Zip asked. Shu nodded and snuffled quietly; he rubbed his nose roughly with a balled fist. Zip looked down and chided. “Oi, be gentle with it.” Shu huffed in annoyance and scrunched up his nose.

“It wodt stop tigklig” Zip tskd and sat up a little, pushed Shu’s hand away and traced down the bridge of his nose. Shu’s nostrils immediately flared and he stammered out a warning that barely had a chance.

“Wehh heh waihh hiiiigh! Hit’tsshiiiiew! heh-TSCH’iew heh-TSCH’iew! ET’sshiiiew!” Shu ducked into Zip’s hand and doused it in spray. “You done?” Zip asked, he didn’t dare move his hand till he knew the answer, and with that hazy look he had a feeling the answer should be no.

“Yehh yesg hehh heh! Eh! Ugh” Like a sparkler fizzling out, the sneeze vanished but the tickle lingered just enough to make it an annoyance.

“Its stughk” Shu grumbled. Zip readjusted, tilting Shu’s head back and said. “Well lets get it unstuck.” Seeing the inside even in the dim lighting of the bedside lamps, it was clear Shu’s nose was pretty full with cold.

“Oh poor thing, its so full; let's get it out.” Zip traced his nail along Shu’s septum and got an immediate reaction, nostrils flaring widely this time, his breath desperate as Shu’s hand grabbed Zip’s wrist. “Riih right thehh there!” He whimpered; Zip cooed sweetly at his pleads.

“I’ve got you, baby. Come on, let it all out.” Instead of those short lil hiccupy hitches, they got longer, more drawn out, his shoulders hiked up, and his eyes made tears in the corners as his nostrils quivered. Finally, he lurched forwards with a very wet, messy fit.

“eh'TZZSSHIEW! eh'TZZSSHIEW! hih’IZZSHuhh! Ehhh!Igh! ih'DZZSHHH!” They scraped up his already sore throat in a painful sound. Mess poured from both nostrils into Zip’s hand, and he felt the warmth of it pooled into his palm. Yet with another hitch he could see Shu was far from done.

Humans weren’t perfect; no one was, no one was inherently evil or righteous or well, supposedly. However, mankind couldn’t help but pedestalize people, and Menelaus was no exception when his dearest Helen existed. Many people compared her to the goddess Aphrodite when they spoke of the woman’s beauty. Hell, the men who arrived to be her suitors had to agree to fight and raise an army if anything were to happen to her, even if they weren’t going to marry her. Many people considered Menelaus lucky to have such a perfectly beautiful woman in his possession. From her gorgeous mid-toned skin to her wavy, sandy-blond hair that looked breathtaking in the morning light, to her radiant green eyes that sparkled whenever she got excited. Soft, subtle pink lips that men wished their wives had. Everything about her was perfect!

Menelaus was a lucky man, truly lucky to wake up to that pretty face every morning. But perfection was truly in the eyes of the beholder, and sometimes that didn’t mean conventional.

When Menelaus woke up to Helen beside him once again, he brushed his fingers through the loose strands of her hair that she had attempted to braid before bed last night. He smiled sleepily, though when some of his palm registered an unusual warmth, he frowned. ‘She never usually runs this warm,’ he thought and pressed the full palm against her cheek. ‘Definately warm a touch warm’

Before he could do much else, the woman started to stir. She nuzzled against his hand and shimmied closer to his body. Her voice was gravely and groggy as she spoke. “Hm? Kff! Morning.” Maybe she was fine, maybe there were just too many blankets on her? Menelaus adjusted himself and pulled his wife to him and kissed her forehead.

“G’morning, my love.” He pushed down his worries for the moment; it seemed like nothing; it had to be nothing.

They did their usual routine of spending some of their morning in bed, cuddled up with one another, enjoying the peace. Until they remembered they had responsibilities. As they got ready, Menelaus noticed a few things. The soft sniffles that sounded pretty wet, the muffled coughs, and how Helen would pinch her nose and pitch forward in little fits. Was she catching a cold? No way, not his perfect, precious wife.

At breakfast, she was much quieter than usual; she gave short replies or just nodded. When Menelaus had to leave to handle a military meeting with a few other groups, he offered to take Helen with for once she declined. ‘Odd, she usually loves going on these meetings with me’

“I have a few things I need to atted to here sndf, remember the shipmbents, dear?” She reminded him, of course; how could he forget? Though he couldn’t help but be hooked on the muddled stuffiness in her voice, that pathetic little sniffle did nothing to clear it.

“Yes yes, thats right. Are you alright, love?” Menelaus finally asked as he picked up a himation to wear. He watched as Helen straightened her posture and quickly nodded.

“Yes, I’mb alright.” She walked over and helped him put on the cloak and brushed back strands of Menelaus’s thick, ginger hair. A kind smile spread across her face.

“I’ve already asked one of the servants to make something for you to eat on the way. Don’t need you in a foul mood all day, do we?” Menelaus chuckled and shook his head.

“Guess not, gods, you know me all too well; what would I do without you?” He gave her one last kiss, this time on the lips, before he left.

He spent most of his day bored out of his mind and half annoyed-only half because of the food- he hated meetings. At times he couldn’t help but worry about Helen, especially when the other men around brought her up. She didn’t sound well. He hoped deep down it had truly been nothing; he couldn’t help but wish he could spend his whole day with her, at least then he could watch over her. Still, he shook that from his mind; she wasn’t helpless; she was strong, perfect; she could handle herself.

Besides, he’d rather spend a whole day fretting over her than be in this stupid meeting; it was the same old same old. They could at least not be boring! There was no amount of money you could pay Meneleus to spend the night there either.

The ride home wasn’t any different; with the days getting shorter during the winter, it was no surprise when he came back in the dark.

He all but kicked down the door to the palace; as soon as he was inside, he announced his presence.

“I’m home!”

Many of the servants greeted him kindly as they busied themselves with their tasks. As he passed by the dining area, he expected to see Helen monitoring the servants while they set the table. When she wasn’t there he decided to ask.

“Where is Helen?” One of the young servants paused and looked at him shyly, and stammered.

“In the- in the weaving room si-sir” Menelaus furrowed his brows. Helen sure loved her crafting, but she also liked making sure the table was set right-she was particular about it- let alone not being around to greet him when he arrived home.

As he turned to head towards the upper palace, another servant mentioned something. “She hasn’t been herself at all today.”

So he hadn’t just imagined it.

He made it up to her weaving room and gave a slight knock before he entered. This time he got greeted by what most called the opposite of perfection, the opposite of godly, the opposite of beauty.

There Helen sat with a blanket around her tense shoulders, her nose reddened, eyes glassy and dark with a distracted look. Her hair tousled and face flushed, and boy, the sound she made.

“Eh!? Heh! Heh! EsschHHeeuhww!” Her body jerked forwards, shoulders hiked up as she sneezed into a blanket-covered hand. From where Menelaus stood, he could see a thin line of snot connect and drip down from her nose in the candlelight. A warmth crept across his cheeks but he quickly shoved that aside. He leaned against the threshold of the door coolly as he spoke up. “Bless you, dearest.” He had to bite back a laugh when the woman jumped at the sound of his voice and turned around swiftly. She quickly tried to fix herself up, those soft wet sniffles from earlier sounded much more productive this time around.

“Oh! You’re hombe, I must’ve lost track of tibe” Of course, no matter how much divine beauty people believed she possessed, Helen couldn’t hide being some semblance of human, demigoddess or not. She sounded exhausted, much more than the usual tiredness of dealing with new shipments and having meetings of her own and delegating the servants. Then her shoulders tensed again and she uttered a breathy “eh ehh excuse behh bme”

As Menelaus drew closer to place a gentle hand on her shoulders, she clenched her mouth, scrunched her nose and pitched forwards in a repetitive fit. These were much smaller and sounded a little painful.

“HpPT! NgkKKGxtt! HHEH-! HmpPP'kngt! HmpPP'kngt HHEH-! HmpPP'kngt!” It looked like the fit wasn’t going to end, and the poor woman struggled to even get a real breath in between. When Helen did manage to catch a slight break, she gasped for air and groaned. It took a moment for Menelaus to get it together himself. His larger hand rubbed soothing circles as he asked.

“Are you sure you’re alright? You sound truly dreadful. That had to’ve hurt.” Helen tried to compose herself; she nodded and attempted to lean away from her husband and stand up from her chair.

“I-i’mb fide, Laus, I-I prob- I probmiiihhh. Oh dnuhh dno!” This time, however, she stifled once, and the rest managed to struggle their way out. “pPT! NgkKKGxtt! heh! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hhGNSHHhuhw!” These sneezes managed to rock her whole body, threw her off balance a little, to the point Menelaus had to hold her and pull her to his side. These weren’t dainty, soft sneezes; they were rather impressive, and something about this made Menelaus’s heart both melt and pound furiously against his chest.

There was one thing for certain: he was right; she wasn’t well. “Alright, you’re heading to bed.” He concluded aloud before Helen could protest; he swept her off her feet. Oh, how charming. As he headed for the door, Helen finally found her voice. A little hoarse and very congested-sounding, but it was still hers.

“Wait! I’mb finde Laus! Please, guh snddff ugh I can have dinner with you at the table.” Menelaus looked down at her and shook his head.

“I will have the servants bring some food and medicine to our room. I’m not leaving you alone for long…mmm maybe draw up a bath, how does that sound?” He caught the slight bewildered expression on her face for a moment, but continued to carry her to bed. After he flagged down a servant and gave them his orders and finally made it to their bedroom. He placed Helen carefully on their bed and began to swap his outfit for something more comfortable. He picked up a handkerchief from the wardrobe and handed it to Helen wordlessly. She muttered a soft apology and blew her nose, or well, a measly half-hearted ‘attempt’. It didn’t sound like any had budged; it didn’t sound like she tried, despite how full her sinuses sounded from the incessant sniffling.

Unceremoniously, Menelaus flopped onto the bed with a heavy sigh and crawled over towards Helen and held her to his chest.

“Oh, how I missed you.” Helen let out a stuffy laugh and nuzzled into him; she kept the handkerchief close to her face like she was trying to hide.

“You’ve only been gone for the day; you act as if you’ve been sent on a voyage.” She playfully teased; Menelaus dramatically whined at her.

“It felt like it; they kept droning on and on and on. We get it, we all get it your dick is big and so is your army.” That got a full-body laugh from her, something Menelaus always loved. He loved when Helen was completely unrestrained, and that was something he wanted right now. Dinner went without a hitch- well, not literally, but still no complaints there.

The bath was where things got interesting. Menelaus sat on the upper steps in the water of the large bathing pool with Helen sat between his legs on the one below him. They helped each other wash up, enjoying the warmth of the water permeating their sore bodies. Every now and then Helen would go into a stifled fit and apologize; the steam made things much looser, but Helen wasn’t keen on letting much out. Suddenly her hitching went from erratic to a defeated sigh; frustration painted her face. She rubbed gently at her nose and slumped a little. Finally, Menelaus asked,

“Why do you hold them back? It's clear you’re not feeling well; that obviously can’t be good for you.” Helen blushed hard and shrugged; her fingers fiddled around with her hair.

“I know I’m not exactly very…pretty like this; the least I can do is keep it to myself. I don’t want you to get this.” Menelaus blinked for a moment before he gently commanded her. “Face me.” Helen hesitated, then turned to face her husband, but she didn’t look at him; she kept her head down. Helen wasn’t exactly a shy woman usually, and it broke Menelaus a little to see her shrink in on herself. He brought his hands to her face and tilted it up, and he smiled.

“You’re beautiful, and you’re mine.” Helen shook her head. “I’mb a bmess, I sound awful, I-” Menelaus pulled her into a kiss before she could continue. He could taste the cold on her tongue, but he didn’t care; honestly, he’d do anything if that meant he could be cuddled up with her. He kept one hand on her waist, the other on her face. He felt her breath flutter and quicken in short hiccups against his lips. A little whine escaped before they pulled apart- but not very far- and Helen brought up a hand to fan at her face. Eyes squinted, lips parted, her whole face slack, nostrils flared and dripped down to her upper lip. It was almost erotic the way she looked so unraveled and consumed by the urge to sneeze. However, when it went away, the defeated face she made was almost enough to make Menelaus lose it himself.

“Ugh dnot again, so-sorry.” Menelaus shook his head and rubbed his thumb against her cheek sweetly.

“No apologies needed, please. You can’t help it; being sick happens, besides you look precious like this to me.” Helen looked at him like she didn’t believe him, but she didn’t have much energy to argue. She melted into his frame and admitted it.

“I feel awful sddrck I cadn’t get bmy sdeezes out dnow.” Menelaus hummed softly and thought about it for half a second before he brought his hand to Helen’s nose.

“What are you doing?” She asked, as soon as the calloused pads of his fingers touched the tip of her nose he felt her take in a breath.

“Helping” he said simply. He rubbed up and down on the tip, then on her septum. Wetness gathered on his fingers as her nostrils flared widely. Helen grabbed his wrist and, between hitches, barely got out his name.

“Bmmheeeh heh bmedelahhh hhgh!” But she didn’t move his hand; she tilted her head a little and leaned into it. Menelaus’s voice was warm and quiet at he shushed her.

“Shhhh let it out, my love, let me help you.” Her whines intermeshed with her hitches, her shoulders jerked, and her nose twitched. A deep gasp finally escaped, and she lurched forwards.

“Heh! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hhGNSHHhuhw!” Menelaus’s hand and wrist quickly became soaked; he could feel the warm snot drizzling down. Just seeing it made his own face flush hard and the moan Helen let out definately did him in.

“Gggnuuugh. That’s bmuch better, gods I bmade such a bmess, I’b sorry.” When Menelaus snapped out of it he just ran his hand under the water for a bit.

“Its alright, you needed it.” He then brought his hand back up to help clean off the mess he had caused. When he got a look at her, seeing her nose running from both red, angry nostrils, he finally relaxed it was like he fell in love all over again.

“Stars above, you’re gorgeous.” He muttered.

After a while, they got out of the bath and went back to their bedroom, where Helen was cuddled up to Menelaus’s chest, snugly.

They had managed to find a few handkerchiefs, which they piled nearby on the bed, and they quickly became useful. Helen brought up a hand to rub at her nose; you could hear the squishing of congestion.

“Ugh dnot agaihhd.” Her words wavered; immediately, Menelaus felt something pulse and his heart pound against his ribs. It got even worse when she weakly asked, “ceeh cad you duh do that thih thig againd?” through her hitches.

“Uh-of-of course.” Menelaus all but jumped at the opportunity! He had to steady his hand as he brought it to her face; this time they brushed in a feather-light touch against her nostrils. They twitched and flared while she gasped desperately, “thehh there yes rih right thehh there!”

He kept his finger there with a little more pressure as he traced the rims. He couldn’t believe she was truly this sensitive! He had to bite his lower lip to keep the soft growl from coming out.

“hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! Hehg heh! Eh! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw!” Spray coated his hand, and mess ejected and splattered onto his palm while strands of it leaked down her face. But her eyes still stayed hazy, and her chest heaved.

“Dnuhh dnot duh duhh dode! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw!” Her sneezes were rough and seemed to need a lot to fuel them. Snot covered Menelaus’s fingers and ran down the back of his hand as he kept going. He circled Helen’s angry red, sensitive nostril and used his other arm to hold her through it.

“hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! ESschhEUhhww!” Spray darkened and dampened the fabric of her sleep gown and made it cling to her chest. With one final- “hHEG’nngsSSHHWw!” a large rivulet of snot poured out from both nostrils. She moaned in relief and slouched into Menelaus again. “Thagk you, thats betteh heh!” A last-minute tickle resurfaced and she swiftly turned into her husband’s chest and muffled the oncoming sneeze into him.

“hhhHRRSSHHHhhhiih!” Now he was truly red in the face; the warm wetness definitely had seeped through the top and it spread from the center out. When Helen pulled away, a large, thick string of mess was still attached to both of them.

“Fugk i made such a bmess” She whined. Menelaus nodded, his mouth dry as he tried to respond “Ye-yeah a bit” What he didn’t expect was for Helen to lean into his ear and tell him through thick, soupy sniffles. “I see snddrck sdrck this feels good sdgh guh for the both of us.” He was too embarrassed to admit it out loud, which was confirmation enough. Her eyes narrowed in a playful seriousness. “If I dodn’t have to hide frobe you, you wodt hide frob bme.” She stated. Menelaus agreed and pulled her into another kiss. He groaned as snot smeared against his upper lip, and this time he was the one pleading breathlessly. “Let me take care of you please; let me have you, hold nothing back!” “Okay, you will have bme.”

Menelaus started to kiss from her lips up to her nose, she shivered against him and grabbed onto his top.

“Tiih tigkles” She warns, he kept going, placing light kisses on the underside of her nose. As her head reared back, Menelaus practically chased after it while he encouraged her.

“C’mon, give it to me, let me have it. mmgnh I know you feel awful so give it to me.” Helen whimpered, whined, and her gasps got higher in pitch as she built up till she snapped forwards and sent a fit right to his face.

“hHEG’nnsSSHHWw oh guhh gods! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! EG’nnsSSHHWw! Hehh heh eh! EG’nnsSSHHWw! HuhG’nnsSSHHWw!” It was like getting hit by ocean spray; it soaked through his mustache and went down his neck. Any mess that didn’t make it to his face ended up on her chest and left her cleavage glistening. Out of reflex, Menelaus’s tongue swiped at her nose and got a small taste of that awful cold she had filling her head. Adoration glazed over his brown eyes when he looked at her. Truly the best thing he had seen. Through heavy panting, Helen laughed a little and kissed him shortly. “You seemb to be really edjoyig this~” She teased. Menelaus nodded and kissed back as he brushed a lock of Helen’s hair out of the way.

“I can’t help that my wife is the most gorgeous being to me, even if you are making a mess of yourself.”

“Ugh bmy dnose is sore ad still full.” “Anything I can do about that?” He asked, Helen then looked at his lips then back at him then away, a shared shyness filled the space when they both realized what the solution was.

“You-you don’t have to, i-i just….your lips felt good…” She backpedaled.

“I don’t- I don’t mind at all” It felt so silly to be this shy about something. Helen nodded and leaned her head back again. Menelaus only took a second before he pressed his lips to her nose and let his tongue slip out and lick carefully at her septum. A drawn-out, relieved moan came from Helen, and she grabbed onto his shirt. “Yes like-like that, feels good.”

Her nostrils continued to flare against his warm, wet tongue as it slid up and down and ventured to her nostrils. Helen pressed in and whimpered out needily.

“Ih id-idside plehh please.” So he did; he pushed his tongue inside, which earned him another moan of encouragement and the taste of her tongue fresh on his tongue. He flicked it, let his tongue swirl and lick at the pulsing insides. It was almost addicting the way things tasted, so wet! She hitched against his mouth with not much time to warn him when his tongue caressed at a certain spot.

“I’bm guhh guhh GoddaEG’nnsSSHHWw!! EG’nnsSSHHWw! Ehh! Heh! HEHG’nnsSSHHWw!” Snot poured onto his tongue heavily, and he swallowed without a second thought. He had been doomed since the first kiss that morning. “Duuh dodnt stuhh stop’b pleh please, please put iih it id!” Helen begged; well, when your queen begs you so pathetically, and looks at you like you’re the only one she could ever need, you do as she says.

It truly shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone when Odysseus woke up with a horrible cold. You’d think the slight sore throat from the night or day after, or the snoring, would’ve been a no-brainer. Yet here he was, acting as if it had ambushed him!

Bundled up in a few blankets and an oversized hood.

“Hey, is that bmy hoodie?” Diomedes asked as Odysseus wiped his nose against the sleep, leaving a long trail of wetness darkening the light grey fabric. Odysseus shrugged, snorted wetly with a painful cough.

“sssdrck Bmaybe…” Diomedes cringed and rolled his eyes as he plopped down on the pulled-out bed of the couch a little bit away from Odysseus.

“I set my shit dowd for five bmidutes and you’re over here usig it like a sdot rag.” Odysseus smirked at him for a moment and muttered, “well you didn’t seemb to bmind using bme as one before.” then drank some tea from a mug set down on the side table.

Diomedes knew it wasn’t the fever that made his face suddenly heat up; if it weren’t for his skin being dark, he’d be bright red. All he could counter back with was. “Wel-well you wanted it sdffk”

Their silence was only filled with scrolling on their phones, sniffles, coughs, and the occasional unproductive nose blow from Diomedes. Until Ody’s breath caught in his throat and a very mild tingling sensation turned into a sharp prickle that spread quickly and overwhelmed him. He only had the sense to bring up the cuff of ‘his’ hoodie sleeve to trembling lips and runny nose.

“Hehh heh ahh hah! HAH!’atssSCHHUUHww! AtssSCHHUUHww! IIEeHSSCHhhhuhhww! Uuuugh guugh” That definitely sounded….messy. It definitely sounded like a lot too, with how those cold sneezes rocked Odysseus’s body, scraped up his throat, and made the back of the couch bed ram against the wall. It never ceased to amaze Diomedes, though.

“Whoa, you alright?” He placed a gentle hand on the shorter man’s shoulder to pull him back and check on him. Odysseus sat up a little and pulled his hand away from his face, and it was truly soaked. A puddle of mess had been splattered into it, and some strings still drizzled from one of his red, irritated nostrils. The brunette groaned and nodded, and once again obnoxiously dragged his nose against the damp sleep.

“Yeah, fugk that was strong, sddrck sddffk sdgh damb bmy dnose.” He brought up his other hand and massaged down the bridge of his nose which pushed more of the snot down to the front as well as another tickle from it, dragging along the red, swollen insides. He gasped a few times, chest heaving, before he dove back into the cuff of that hoodie that Dio knew he’d probably just have to burn.

“IIEeHSSCHhhhuhhww! IIEeHSSCHhhhuhhww! Heeeihh heegh ieegh? IIEeHSSCHhhhuhhww! hah!HAH!’atssSCHHUUHww!” This time, thicker cords poured out from both nostrils. Diomedes rubbed circles on the other’s back as he watched mess seep down the sides of Odysseu’s hand and drip onto the blankets. Diomedes collected a handful of tissues and cupped them to his boyfriend’s nose and gently commanded him “blow”

There was not enough tissues for that to say the least. Almost immediately, the tissues got heavy, wet, and warm, and soon his fingers got damp, then wet. “Okay, hold on” He says as he tries to grab more tissues. What he didn’t see was Odysseus’s nostrils flaring and that distant sneezy look right before disaster struck. And by disaster, I mean Odysseus grabbing his shirt and sneezing into it.

“Hey wait wait!!” There was no waiting. “Heeeh! Hah! HEh! HAH!’atssSCHHUUHww! IIEeHSSCHhhhuhhww! Guuuh gnuuuh” Great and now his shirt was soaked, a dark wet splatter of snot was halfway up the front of his shirt with strings still connected to Odysseus’s nose.

“You couldn’t have sneezed into anything else?!” Diomedes grumbled, Odysseus’s nose made a wet squish and squelch noise when he attempted to clean himself up. “Sorry, you were right there.” He said insincerely, Diomedes rolled his eyes and gestured to the blankets and hoodie that Ody stole.

“And so is my hoodie and blankets!” Ody didn’t care; he just crawled into Diomede’s lap and curled into him like a cat with his nose to the top of the darker man’s chest.

“Mmmmb warmb,” Diomedes tried to push Odysseus off. “Oh dno you don’t, don’t try acting all cute, you snot-nosed brat!” Yet Odysseus doesn’t budge; he doubled down and rubbed his wet, red nose into him.

“Oh please, we’re both sigk, dnot like you cad get ady sigker frob bme.” Diomedes groaned in annoyance and decided to mess with him back. He kissed Odysseus on the top of his head, which made the other look up just enough for Diomedes to grab his face and start to kiss his nose. He started from the space between his eyebrows and went down. Odysseus scrunched up and wriggled his nose around as he asked.

“He-hey, what are you doing, heh!” His breath caught when Diomedes kissed the middle and kept going down to the tip. Odysseus hitched wildly and started to reach for Diomedes when the taller man suddenly stopped, and the tickle slowly fizzled into a buzz. Odysseus rubbed harshly at his nose with a fist. “What was that for?”

This time it was Diomedes’s turn to be innocent. “What? I’m just beig sweet, your poor nose looked so bothered, still does honestly.” He tilted Odysseus’s head back further, which gave him perfect access to those terribly red, sensitive, and runny nostrils. Those poor nostrils were already flaring, and Diomedes hadn’t even touched them yet. Finally, he started to trace the pads of his fingers along the outer rims. Diomedes bit his lip as he felt snot drip onto his finger. His feather-light touch was a horrid tease to Odysseus’s nose; the tickle was nowhere near enough to make him sneeze, just made his nose run more and his breath hitch.

It pissed him off, Diomedes would bring him right to the edge sometimes just to pull his now snotty hand away and leave Ody gasping and in tears!

By the time Penelope came home, Odysseus had only sneezed 3 times because Diomedes would either stop too soon or pinch his nose. So when their lovely girlfriend finally asked them, “how’er my favorite boys doing?”

Odysseus wasted no time going to her with a pout on his tear-stained face.

“Dio’s beig bmeand!” He cried, Penelope giggled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and looked at him with playful pity.

“Oh my, you poor thing, you sound dreadful.” Once again, Odysseus whined about Diomedes. Penelope looked at Diomedes and asked.

“Is that true, Dio?” Diomedes could hear her trying to hold back a laugh between her words and just leaned back into the couch.

“I just decided to give the lil snotty brat a taste of his own medicine, and I guess he couldn’t handle it. It's what he gets for using my shirt and my hoodie like a snot rag” Diomedes says as he gestures to his snot stained t-shirt. Penelope giggled and looked back at Odysseus, only to be met with the most kicked puppy look.

“Oh, is that so? Well then, maybe you deserve it, hm?” Odysseus whined and pouted hard at her. Through thick, wet sniffles, he begged.

“Please, Pede, he wouldn’t let bme sdeeze ad its drivig bme crazy!” “I can certainly hear that, hm, maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you ruin my shirt~” She suggested. Odysseus nodded. “I probmise i’ll be good, please, plehh hehh oh guhh gods” “Okay okay c’mer” Penelope pulls him to the couch and pushes him to straddle her lap.

He tries to rub the tickle away but that only pushes more snot out of the edges of his nostrils.”fuuugh its suuh so tih high! Tigkly” He whined, he tried to sniffle it back up but there was just too much in his nose to keep it all in, it would just ooze right back out even lower. He whined and whimpered and squirmed against his girlfriend, desperate for relief but she wouldn’t help him. She just sat and watched his nostrils flare widely and stream down his face. No matter how much he tried to rub or wipe at his nose, it was useless, only making his nose redder.

Finally, the mess started to drip onto Penelope’s shirt. She grinned and tried to act ‘surprised’

“Oh, look at you already dripping on me, goodness, you must really have an awful cold in your nose. Can’t keep your gross cold to yourself, can you~” Penelope slid a hand onto his shoulder and up his neck to grab a handful of Odysseus’s hair and gave a slight tug back on it. He moaned and squeezed his thighs a bit. He could barely see the look on Penelope’s face, but he could definitely hear the tease in her words.

“Goodness, your nose is just so fucking full, and red, never seen much snot in you. And your nostrils just won't hold still either!” Then the feeling of her nails lightly scratching at his septum came through, and both his nostrils flared wide like they could avoid her touch. His hitches grew short and vocal, his lips trembled as he tried to warn her.

“I-i’b gudda gudda! Guhh huh!-” Then she stopped, and the tickle dulled out. “Hey!” He complained, Penelope hummed. “Yes?” “What was that for?” Her voice was cold but not angry as she told him. “You said you’d be good, didn’t you? So be good and take your punishment.” Without missing a beat, she went back to tracing his nose with her nails. Sometimes it was just the outer edges; other times it was more inside. Regardless, it was torture!

After being teased in more ways than one, it seemed like Penelope decided to have mercy on him. The tickle became unbearable. Finally, when her nails hit a certain spot the tickle climaxed and Odysseus was sure he would too.

He gasped and gripped onto Penelope tightly as each sneeze rocked his body against her. They showered her heavily in spray, and mess poured out from both of his nostrils in thick ropes. His hips jerked and grinded against her in a frenzy.

“HAH!’atssSCHHUUHww! AtssSCHHUUHww! Iegh egh! Hegh! IIEeHSSCHhhhuhhww! IIEeHSSCHhhhuhhww! Egh! IIEeHSSCHhhhuhhww! Mmnnghh fuughh gnuuugh.” Through teary eyes, drool on his parted lips and streaming nose, Odysseus trembled and panted and watched Penelope twirl the mess around between her fingers. Her shirt was dark with random drips of snot. She brought them to her mouth and licked it up and smiled. Then she kissed him deeply, Odysseus could barely breathe through his stuffed-up nose but he was thrilled to feel her lips. When they pulled apart, some of his snot had dripped onto her upper lick still connected in a thinning line.

“Since you’ve been good,” she started as she licked at her lips. “Why don’t I finally give you what you want?” Odysseus nodded and quietly said “Your bmouth” Her grin got wider. “Alright, go on.” Odysseus leaned forward and pressed the underside to her mouth, which Penelope happily opened. Upon feeling her warm, wet tongue prodding and licking at his nose, Odysseus moaned in relief and relaxed and delivered a heavy gurgling blow. Snot flooded from his nose, and Penelope quickly swallowed it down only pulling away to praise him.

“Good job, baby, fuck it tastes so good, give me more.” Ody had practically melted into his girlfriend’s hold.

Odysseus pulled out from the front and sighed as he helped Penelope off of Diomedes. “Fuck that was fun,” He groaned while he stretched and started to climb off the bed.

He handed Penelope a scrunchie from the nightstand as she started to braid up her hair. In an out-of-breath voice, she agreed. “Yeah, it-it was, I didn’t dig my nails in too badly, did I, Seus?” Odysseus chuckled and took a swig of water from the water bottle they kept nearby.

“The day I complain about it is the day I’ve been cloned.” Penelope looked back at Diomedes after she heard congested wet sniffles and a defeated sigh. Her eyes softened, and she helped him pull his zip-up hoodie on as he pulled up his sweats.

“Oh Dio, baby, how’re you feeling?” He rubbed a knuckle roughly against the underside of his already reddened nostrils and snorted.

“sssdrrrghck guh well m’dnot ady worse thad before.” Odysseus laughed a little as he pushed his own hair back with a headband and smirked.

“You sure sound like it, nose running like a faucet, had you dripping both ways~” Diomedes blushed hard and grumbled.

“Oh, fuck you, couldn’t help it.” Now Odysseus was really laughing.

“Fucking, you didn’t help the first time, I don’t think you’d survive round 2.” Right as he finished that sentence, Diomedes’s breath caught, and his eyes went unfocused. The other two watched curiously and wondered if it’d finally happen. Alas, with a gasp, sigh, and a few coughs, the tickle practically ditched him at the last second and left him more stuffed up and annoyed.

“Fuuuuugk! ssndck koff koff” Odysseus grabbed a t-shirt and tossed it to Penelope as he teased his boyfriend. “Damn, and you guys say I get pathetic.” Penelope threw a pillow at him as she crawled over to Diomedes,

“Be nice to him, Seus, he doesn’t feel good.” She cupped Diomede’s face in her hands as she put herself in his lap. Diomedes melted into her touch, her sweet, soft, gentle touch. She tilted his head back a little and frowned.

“Oh, your poor nose is so red and angry, got teased the whole time too, didn’t you?” His nostrils flared a little, letting her see how stuffy he was, not to mention the snot he had been snorting back. He couldn’t look her in the eyes or admit to it out loud; he didn’t need to. He could see it and feel it with how her thumbs caressed his cheeks affectionately, yet there was a glint in her eyes that read mischievous.

“Seus, dear, why don’t we help our sweetboy…wind down for bed, hmm? I don’t think he’ll be able to sleep if he’s all stuffed up and sneezy.” Odysseus caught on and grinned; he practically jumped onto the bed beside Diomedes. Odysseys placed himself behind Diomedes with his chest to the taller man’s back and pressed him closer to Penelope, who kissed him shortly before she promised. “I’ll be gentle, I promise. I’m not mean like Seus is.”

Well, he knew that Odysseus was a big sadist, not that he really minded.

Penelope started with kisses from his lips up to filtrum, then on his septum, that an immediate reaction. His nostrils flared, and his breath caught a little as a tickle started up again. This time, it didn’t back down when she trailed her kisses to each nostril. As he built up his hands found their place on her waist, and they squeezed lightly with each breath. His lips trembled as he could feel the tickle grow stronger and stronger till he gasped and launched towards Penelope’s chest. He sprayed down her face, neck, and chest with the fit.

“HHEH-IsschHHIhwww! HHEH-IsschHHIhwww! Heh! Eh! Ehg! HHEH-IsschHHIhwww!” He looked up with brief relief now that he could finally sneeze. He had been getting teased the whole time. Sex always did that to him when he had a cold, so much for fucking it out of him.

Then he felt something wet and warm pressed to his septum that made him whine and hitch needily.

“Fuck, finally getting that cold out, and it tastes so good.” He watched as Penelope pulled her tongue back into her mouth for a moment before she pressed her lips back to his nostrils. It had him whining ‘fugk’ for a whole other reason now.

Her tongue swirled and flicked around the inner rims and reignited the buzzing tickle inside. He could barely warn her through his urgent hitching.

“I’b guhh guddahh guddhuhh! Hehh! Hegggh! EtttSSHHusshh! EtttSSHHusshh! eeH!essschHHHEuuhhw!” Snot dripped down from both nostrils this time, some ended up on Penelope’s tongue and lips, while the rest oozed down Diomedes’s face. “Gods its so good, that’s my good boy, see, isn’t that better?” She praised, Diomedes could feel Odysseus’s hand rub in soft circles along his back as his gruff, sex rasped voice rang in his ears.

“Doing so well there, Dio, hmm i wonder.” Suddenly, one of Odysseus’s hands had ended up in Diomedes’s hair and gently tugged to keep his head in control while his other hand found the bridge of his nose. Penelope giggled and guided Odysseus’s hand teasingly down their boyfriend’s nose.

“Why don’t you give Odysseus a taste, Dio dear~ He’s been patient.” The teasing brush against his bridge sent the tickle down fast, but it wasn’t enough. It kept coming in strong, then dying out.

“Oh cuhh cobe od hehh! Ugh, Ody, please!” He begged in a whiny, stuffy voice. Odysseus hummed in amusement.

“Poor thing’s already begging, and I haven’t done much to him, you must be desperate~.” The pads of Odysseus’s fingers were a feather-light touch that drove the dark-skinned man crazy. His hitches sounded like hiccups while his nose streamed down his face. Then the feeling of Odysseus’s hands disappeared as Penelope gently pushed them away. Her voice laced with fake pity as she took over. “Seus baby, I told you to be nice to him; his nose has been through enough.” Odysseus playfully rolled his eyes.

“But he’s so precious like this.” Penelope shook her head, sighed, and decided to mess with Diomedes just a little more.

“Can you tell me what you want, baby?” She wanted to hear it, Odysseus did to, they wanted to hear him say it. Between soft but deep hitches, Diomedes tried to answer her.

“Tehh hehh huhh! Tongue” But that wasn’t enough. Penelope pretended to look confused and said. “Hm? What was that, darling? I need you to speak up.” He tried again.

“Your tongue please, I-i wahh wadt your tehh tuhh hehh! Tongue!” “Oh, why didn’t you say so, baby!” Without missing a beat, Penelope’s tongue went back into his nose. It pushed through, swirled, and lapped the tender, messy insides. His grip and whole body tensed as all he could do was hitch out “yeh yes yes yesyes! Hehh fugck!” His gasp grew more drawn out and vocal, his chest heaved as his nose leaked.

“HHEH-IsschHHIhwww! HHEH-IsschHHIhwww! Guh hehh HHEH-IsschHHIhwww! Fugk yeehh HHEH-IsschHHIhwww Pleeh please duhh dodn’t stuhh stob” Penelope pressed on one nostril and used her tongue on the other between swallows and groans as she desperately leaned in like she wasn’t going to let him part even a centimeter from her.

“NGKssHHHhuhw!” Snot poured out of the open nostril and in a heavy succession, which Penelope quickly sucked on before doing the same to the other side, but this time she gathered the mess onto her hand and called out to Odysseus. He peered over, and she told him to open his mouth and held out her hand. He leaned over Diomedes’s shoulder and dragged his tongue along his girlfriend’s hand.

Oh, they were so gonna get sick.

With the final fit, Penelope pulled Diomedes to her chest this time, his nose pressed between her tits as she gave her final command.