#groundzero grossness

After a long day of teaching and grading papers, Izuku wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and die. He already made sub plans, even though he hated doing it. When he got home, he weakly announced his presence, slipped off his work shoes, exchanged them for house slippers, and dragged his feet through the flat. He snuffled and snorted his way to his bedroom to change his clothes; he hadn’t actually noticed that Katsuki was also home. Not till his voice jump-scared him from Izuku’s doorway. “Ey there, dumbass.” Izuku jolted a little; the short, little startled gasp caused him to cough painfully.

Katsuki cringed at the noise. “You sound like shit,” He commented. Izuku composed himself and snorted thickly, much too stuffed up for it to clear his nose at all.

“Ugh, sorry, did you wadt sobethig. Kaachad?” Katsuki stared at him for a moment with a ‘wtf’ look on his face. “Well, I want you to blow your fucking nose cause I can barely understand ya. How the fuck did you last a whole day sounding like that?” Izuku rolled his eyes as he unbuttoned his top, peeled it off, and slid out of his dress pants.

“I didn’t sound that bad,” He retorted. Katsuki didn’t buy it for a second and turned around. “I’ll make you some tea, blow your nose, take some medicine, and get your sick ass either in bed or on the couch,” Izuku mumbled just loud enough to be heard. “Bossy bastard” “What?” Katsuki called out. “Dnothing!” Izuku yelled back, only to be shut up by his obviously sore throat. He grabbed a zip-up hoodie and went into the bathroom to grab some medicine. As he rifled through the cabinets, a dull tickle formed in the back of his nose that quickly went to the front. With how congested he was, he hardly had any buildup, so he clenched his teeth to stifle.

“HhG!hhgksscHHHhh! HhNGgsshhuhw! HhNGgkksshhuhw!” Each sneeze made him bob his head and his shoulders tense, but none of them really rid him of the congestion. He gasped and snuffled again, plugging one side at a time in a stupid attempt for some air through his nose.

“Ah, there it is!” Finally, he found the bottle of cold medicine and went to the living room after he picked up a couple of blankets. Once he plopped down on the couch, Katsuki came over with a mug of tea and pressed a palm to Izuku’s forehead. “You’re a lil warm. I can’t believe you went to class with that cold.” Izuku shrugged as he sipped on his tea, the warmth and honey soothing his throat. “I didn’t feel too bad this bmordig.” Katsuki shook his head. “I don’t fucking believe you when you sound like that.” “I sound worse thad I feel, I probmise.” Izuku knew he truly wasn’t that convincing. Katsuki started to look around for something.

“What are you looking for?” Izuku asked. “Tissues, I told you to bring them with you.” Katsuki reminded him. Izuku snorted and took another swig of his drink. “I’mb too stuffed up it wont work adyways.” Katsuki sighed, got up from the couch, and stomped towards Izuku’s bedroom, then came back with the box of tissues. “Finish your drink, then I’m getting this shit out of you, today!” Izuku had no clue what he meant by that, and figured Katsuki was bluffing. Katsuki never bluffed, he knew that. One thing he knew for certain: the steam from the tea did get some of that congestion moving, but Izuku had the horrible habit of constantly snorting it back. Doing so made his sinuses fill back up with that awful sludge, it burned and gave him a headache, and the pressure was awful!

As soon as he set the nearly empty cup down, he figured he could escape whatever Katsuki’s plan was with the excuse of. “I need to grade papers.” But as soon as he tried to get off the couch, Katsuki yanked him back down. “Oh no you fucking don’t!” Izuku yelped as he plopped back onto the couch and was quickly pinned down by Katsuki. He put his hands on the blond’s shoulders to keep some distance.

“What are you doig?” Katsuki planted the tissue box beside them and smirked. “I said I was gonna get that cold out of you today, didn’t I?” Izuku blushed hard and tried to turn his head away as he whined. “I dodn’t wadda get you sigk, and its godda be gross.” Katsuki mocked his whiny voice and grabbed his face. “Its either be gross or you get a sinus infection, and I know you. You’re gonna be much worse with that sinus infection. And your germs don’t scare me.” He used his other hand to massage at Izuku’s sinuses. Izuku scrunched up his face on reflex as he felt all that stuff start to move down his nose. His nostrils-which were already red- flared and tried to sniff back the inevitable. Katsuki kept at it in a slow pace as he worked his hand down Izuku’s nose. Soft squishes and squelches signified he was definitely pushing on the mess. Then Izuku’s breath started to waver and he pushed one of Katsuki’s hands away. “Fuhh fugk tiihh tickles!” He warned, his eyes squinted as the tickle got stronger and stronger and stronger, then- right as he gasped- it left him high and dry. Well, there were some tears in the outer corners of his eyes. He sighed, defeated, and tried to sniffle again, but nothing could get through “Fuuughk!” He groaned with slumped shoulders and a dry cough at the end.

A snicker slipped out of Katsuki’s lips as he rolled the tissue he had in hand into a point. “Knew ya couldn’t do it yourself. C’mon nerd, don’t hold back on me now.” He inserted it carefully into one of Izuku’s nostrils that immediately flared to life upon contact. Katsuki’s hand was just beneath Izuku’s nose as he swished the tissue’s point around blindly. Then it brushed a spot that ignited the tickle all over again, this time much stronger. Izuku grabbed Katsuki’s wrist and instructed him in a desperate voice. “Rihh right right therhhh hhhuh! Huh! Heh!” Katsuki obeyed the command, but he couldn’t help but tease him just a little. “So bossy and needy you are~” His motion paused for only a few seconds, but that was just as torturous as losing the sneeze.

“Dod’t stuhh huhhstooohhb” Izuku begged as his chest heaved, the sound of his hitches went higher in pitch until finally!

“HH—hngKKSSCHH! HhNGgsshhuhw! HhG!hhgksscHHHhh!! ” Like earlier, they first came out congested as they tried to break through the wall plugging up his head. They were very spray heavy, though, Katsuki’s wrist was already dripping wet. Then-

“Hehh'ESShhTttsshh! Hehh'ESShhTttsshh! Hehh'ESshhTSsHHtt!! Heh! Hheh!! eh!EsschHHeeuhww!!” The real show started. Thin trails of snot shot down to Izuku’s upper lip; one side started to drip down longer than the other. Some ended up on Katsuki’s knuckles, but that didn’t stop him. He slowly circled the tissue against the swollen, angry walls, which drew out the quickest, breathiest hitches Izuku’s body could make before another fit came to spray Katsuki right in his face.

“Hehh huhh!Hehh'ESShhTttsshh! Eh hehhh ehh! EsschHHeeuhww! EsschHHeeuhww! Hehh'ESshhTSsHHtt” This time clouds of spray were followed by thicker lines of snot that melted down Izuku’s flushed face and d covered the top of Katsuki’s hand. Izuku let out a sigh of relief, which made a few snot bubbles that quickly went out and oozed from both his nostrils. He muttered a “that felt better” in his post-sneeze fit haze.

Katsuki chuckled and pulled the tissue away, it was properly ruined, and so was his hand, not like he cared. He nonchalantly licked at the snot on his hand, and that quickly yanked Izuku back to reality. He sat up and tried to stop him.

“Ey wait dod’t do that! Oh gross Kaachad!” It was already too late as he watched Katsuki swallow the mess like it was something else. The way Katsuki looked at him with a devious smirk and lustful eyes made Izuku’s cheek burn hotter than any fever could. With the wall of congestion broken, it was like breaking a dam. So now Izuku’s nose was a runny mess. “Fugk it keeps ruhh ruddig oh dnuhh dno!” His nose twitched and dripped as the runniness caused another tickle to start. No matter how much he sniffled, it would just drip right back out and make things worse.

“Kahh kachahhhh huhh hehh! Heh!” Katsuki hummed, raised a brow, and asked all too innocently. “What is it?” Was he really gonna make him ask? Through those marshy, thick, liquidy sniffles too? “Come on nerd, just say it~” He teased, oh this bastard knew what he was doing! Izuku knew he didn’t have much of a voice though, it was going to drive him crazy!

“Hehh help bme plehh please” Katsuki all but jumped at the opportunity and traced the pad of his thumb along the wet rims of Izuku’s nose that flared in a frantic in and out. His breaths quickened right before the explosion.

“Hehh ehh! Hehh'ESShhTttsshh! Hehh'ESShhTttsshh! ESShhTttsshh!” The mess that he tried so desperately to keep contained flooded out of his nostrils and made webs all over Katsuki’s hand and kept dripping between his fingers. The blond circled his thumb in a slow tease that drew out a very deep breath and-

“EEesschHHeeuhww!” A thick rivet of snot shot down to Katsuki’s lips, and without missing a beat, he swiped it up with his tongue. Izuku panted softly through parted lips, making the cords of snot sway and bubble. A soft groan rose through Katsuki’s throat as he swallowed what was in his mouth. “Fuck, your cold tastes so good.” Katsuki then started to lick at the snot on his hand as he continued to comment. “You made such a big mess. I didn’t think you had it in you, but you really did. Mmmm feels better, doesn’t it?” Izuku couldn’t deny it, it did feel better, especially after holding back all day and dabbing at his nose with cheap tissues that left his nose so red. He gave a small bashful nod, which only made Katsuki’s grin wider. He leaned down and started to lick at the drippage. Izuku, a little surprised, tried to ask, “What are you doig?”

When Katsuki made his way up to Izuku’s nose, Izuku melted into the couch. The wet warmth of Katsuki’s tongue on his sore red nose was so soothing. A little moan escaped, and Izuku’s hands came up to the back of Katsuki’s head and tangled his fingers in the other’s hair, not wanting him to pull away. Izuku’s nostrils quivered and flared open as if inviting Katsuki’s tongue in, and boy, was that an experience. The squirmy, wet appendage swirled and rubbed against the tender, angry insides so gently that it was heavenly. More moans came as Katsuki worked his tongue around; sometimes Izuku’s grip would tighten.

Then Katsuki’s tongue found a spot that brought on another tickle. Izuku gasped and started to build up again. Katsuki hummed a little, and the vibration made that tickle skyrocket immediately.

“EEesschHHeeuhww! EEesschHHeeuhww! Hehh eh! Hehh'ESShhTttsshh!” Whichever nostril Katsuki’s tongue wasn’t in had snot leaking and shooting out much further than the other. He pulled away solely so he could suck and lick on the beads of mess from that side before going back to the other.

“Fuck that really tastes good, c’mon nerd don’t be shy, I know this feels good.” He encouraged. Izuku whimpered breathily as Katsuki’s tongue took another pass through his nose, this time deeper inside. His shoulders jerked as another wave of snot poured from his other nostril and over his lips.

“Hehh'ESShhTttsshh!!” Katsuki kissed him deeply and hungrily, muttering between kisses.

“I want it, I want your cold, give it to me, give it to me.” Izuku finally managed to say through very congested breath.

“I-i dneed to- I dneed to blow so bad.” He really did, just from the sound of his voice and how his nostrils flared without hitching. His poor nose was so full.

Spend time with your boyfriends, she said. It’ll be fun, she said. They miss you, she said. What Yuki didn’t say was that Choso would be put in the eye of a storm. What storm, you may ask? Satoru and Suguru have an awful cold. Choso knew when he opened the front door, he was screwed. The living room of the apartment was dark, the blankets stripped from the sofa, and the distant sound of coughing echoed through the halls from the bedroom. Choso should have listened to the voice in his mind that said, ‘turn back,’ but Yuki was already gone. He tried to text her, begging her to come and get him, but all he got in return was ‘have fun’ like she was dropping him off at daycare.

“Choso?” A voice calls from the bedroom. God, this felt like walking into a horror movie house; the urge to run was paralyzing. Choso cringed at the voice, which he could probably guess was Satoru. Suguru was the type to sleep more. Well, unless Satoru was keeping him up. Slipping his shoes off, Choso sighs and adjusts the mask he has over his face before calling back.

“Yeah, it's me!” He pads his way towards the bedroom and peeks inside.

A nest of blankets piled up on the bed, with two sickly men inside. Suguru was lying up against a couple of pillows with his long black hair splayed out in a chaotic mess. His slightly tanned skin was tainted by a flush across his face, his purple eyes glassy and exhausted. His nose seemed to be the primary problem, already looking irritated and turning red, along with the amount of tissues that were spread across the sheets and the two boxes nearby. Then there was Satoru lying on Suguru’s chest, well, now he was sitting on his waist. Dressed in what he could guess was one of Suguru’s sweatshirts from how loosely it fit and soft PJ pants. His already pale skin was much paler than usual, the fever face sticking out clearly. With those stupid sunglasses off, those crystal blue eyes were dull and hazy. Gojo kept the cuff of the sweatshirt pressed to his nose, but he couldn’t hide the obvious redness.

“There you are cobe here!” Gojo whined, making grabby hands towards Choso. Choso hesitated but dodged the tissues on the floor and on the bed to slide in beside Geto.

“How are you two doing?” Choso asked awkwardly. It was already clear what the answer was but it was polite to ask. There was a slight grin on Gojo’s face that never spelled anything good. He reached out and slung his arms around Choso, even as Choso tried to lean away; there’s not much space to get away without falling off the bed where he sat. Gojo pulls Choso to him and nuzzles into him with a congested him of happiness.

“Better dnow that you’re here.” Thick wet sniffles punctuate his sentence. Choso can feel the feverish warmth searing into his skin from Gojo and looks at him with slight worry.

“You’re running hot.” He points out, the grin spreads across Gojo’s face, and his eyes shine deviously for a moment. In a deep, gravely voice, he replies.

“Aaaaw you thigk i’b hot~” A chill runs up Choso’s spine, and he feels his chest grow warm underneath the mask. A whine slips from his lips, distracting him from everything else. Gojo lets go only to slide into Choso’s lap while Geto rolls onto his side, lazily wrapping an arm around Choso. He’s pulled further onto the bed this way, and now he can’t get out of it. He’s surrounded on both sides by two biohazards!

“C’bmere, dod’t wadt you to fall off the bed,” Suguru mumbles. Gojo is now leaning into Choso’s chest with content plastered across his face. Though it's temporarily lived as his nose and face scrunch up. His nose wriggles around before his lips start to part, and soft gasps

“HhhHheh! Heh! Heeegh! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw!” A sneeze that sends a long, thick string of mess oozing down Gojo’s face. Tuning back into reality, Choso sees this and grabs a tissue from the box.

“Bless you, here,” He tries catching what leaks out and brings the tissue up to Satoru’s nose, but as soon as they touch, another eruption comes.

“hHEG’nnsSSHHHMMMPPHh!” Gojo’s body rocks forward, causing Choso to wrap his free arm around his waist. But he’s paying more attention to the heavy, damp warmth trapped in the tissue that he knew wouldn’t be holding much more if another sneeze came. He carefully pinches off anything left and tosses the used tissue aside. Satoru groans and sighs with a sniffly “Thagk you”

“You’re welcome.” Then Choso feels wet warmth on his collarbone and sees Gojo rubbing is nose against him

“H-hey!” Choso tries to push him off gently, but Gojo wraps his arms around his torso securely.

“You’re so soft ad comfy” He whines. Choso huffed and just rubbed his back while Geto curled up beside them.

“You know how he is, Cho, no point id fightig it.” Well, at least Geto hadn’t done anything yet. A short series of wet sniffles and snorting followed his words; a piece of Geto’s hair flops over his face and brushes against his nose. Even when pushed back, it just flops back over. Geto shudders, fanning his face with one hand; his breath comes in long, drawn-out gasps. They tense his whole body, making his shoulders and head move back and shrug. His other hand is blindly searching for a tissue, but he doesn’t have time, and neither does Choso.

“ Huhhh Huhhh hhhuuuughuh! HUdt’ssscHHHhheuhw! HUdt’ssscHHHhheuhw HUdt’ssscHHHhheuhw!” Three body-shaking sneezes barrel from Geto, who just barely manages to catch them in the cuff of his sleeve. His muffled, congested voice can barely be understood, so he repeats himself.

“Cad you had be a tissue…or three?” Once he finally got the message, Choso grabbed a few tissues and held them out. Suguru took them and released his other hand from his face, showing the multiple thin strands of snot that dripped down before he tried cleaning it up.

“Sorry it just doesn’t stop ruddig, its always doig this.” Geto apologizes and lets out an utterly devastating nose blow. It definitely sounded that way; you could hear the snot flooding into the tissues.

“Guh this thig is so stuffed up’b.” He grumbles, wiping at his nose roughly before tossing the tissue aside.

“Yeah, it sounds like it” Choso agreed. Suguru leaned towards Choso’s shoulder with a sigh.

“Thagks for cobig over, Satoru’s beed whidig about it since last night.” Gojo looked up at Geto and glared at him playfully.

“I have’d beed whidig” He whines, his sickly boyfriend rolls his eyes and pulls the blanket over himself.

“Choso,” Gojo says. Choso looks down at the other with a ‘hm?’. Suddenly, Gojo’s hand comes towards Choso’s face and tugs at his mask.

“You know you don’t need this, it's just cold.” “Seems more like the plague to me,” Choso mutters. Gojo pouts at him and pulls down on his mask

“Oh, cobe od, you’ll survive.” There’s a shared look between Satoru and Suguru, and the mischievous glint is back. Before Choso truly questions anything, he feels himself getting pressed between the two on the bed. Their arms around him, both front and back. Gojo straddles Choso’s lap and leans in for a kiss. Choso’s hands come up to Satoru’s shoulder, but his efforts to push away are fumbled when his own body betrays him in want of that kiss. Noow Choso’s whining. “You’re gonna get me sick.” Suddenly Suguru’s deeper voice purrs in his ear.

“Mbaybe that’s what we want, blood bunny~” A heat spreads from Choso’s cheeks to his ears, his whole face feels hot now. He knows he’s screwed now; he could already taste the sickness on his tongue from that kiss. Short hiccupy breaths give him the cue that there’s no going back now. He can see that spacy open-mouth expression on Satoru’s face. His nose is running down his upper lip on one side, while the other looks like some is threatening to spill.

His mouth drops open as his head tilts back a little, showing those flaring red nostrils right before disaster comes down.

“hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw Heehhh! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw!” Spray hits him point-blank in Choso’s face while Gojo’s nose leaks heavily down his face.

“Ugh thats behh better, huhh h-huhoold on.” Gojo’s words falter, and his chest heaves

“Gihhh give bme hheeeh hehh! Your hhuhh give bme your hand,” He commands. Choso hesitates but brings up his hand. Gojo takes it and brings it to his face to deliver a messy fit.

“ hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw! hHEG’nnsSSHHWw!” Snot splatters into Choso’s hand, its heavy and warm and leaking between his fingers. Gods, how could one person make that much snot!?

“Thagk you, that felt so bmuch better,” Gojo sighs, like doing that gave him relief, even if he still sounded horribly congested despite letting out all that. He then leans away from Choso’s hand and nuzzles his nose into his collarbone again, pulling a shiver from him. Meanwhile, Geto was already rubbing his nose into Choso’s shoulder like his nose was pissing him off.

“This stupid thihh thig is so tiihh tickly.” Choso feels Suguru’s grip on him getting desperate just like his hitching. Long and vocal, his body shakes, pressing his chest to Choso’s back. Suguru reels back and delivers an equally wet and messy set into Choso’s neck. Choso lets out an “Anhk!” and tenses; it feels like a wet kiss on his neck.

“ HUdt’ssscHHHhheuhw! HUdt’ssscHHHhheuhw! HUdt’ssscHHHhheuhw! Huhhh uuuuuughh HUdt’ssscHHHhheuhw!” Mess runs down his neck and onto his shoulder, Choso tries to bite back another noise that gets caught in his throat, but his eyes rolling back give him away. A hand grabs his face and turns him to face Suguru. Those deep purple eyes are half lidded, but they’re not Choso’s focus; instead, it's that red and abused nose that keeps flaring and twitching. He almost doesn’t catch what Suguru says to him.