break the cycle or it will kill ya

last year i went to a fancy restaurant with friends for ***** and for some dumbass inconceivable reason getting IDed triggered me and i dissociated badly and made everyone else uncomfortable and ruined their night😭😭😭😭😭 can't have shit in fuck

also it can't even be called paranoia cuz it did happen!! multiple times! on a micro-scale in my supposed friend groups and on a macro scale because your humiliation was aired on tv!! people all over the country you've never met were making fun of you! what do you even do now

i genuinely cannot believe how many times people have admitted that they were making fun of me to my face. why does it keep happening. like once is a pretty bad experience but after a few times i have to wonder if the problem is me