Diaper Boy in Training!

It is worth noting that infant toilet training and adult toilet training are not the same process.

Infant toilet training is primarily a signal processing and materials budget problem. Basically, your brain is still very new and not quite able to realise that it can feel when you need to go, or that it can stop your voluntary muscles from doing that. Your voluntary muscles are also quite new and not always able to stop you from voiding. As you grow, your brain and body straighten themselves out and you start being able to do things like asking to go to the toilet. You have developmental momentum behind you. Toilet training is simply the process of getting you to adopt that behaviour.

Untraining is adopting a specific set of habits which minimise the use and exercise of your voluntary muscles, and as much as possible reduce the activation of your sensory nerves. A predictable consequence of this is disuse atrophy - the same process that appears in people who are bedridden for long periods of time.

Even though toilet training very very rarely fails, retraining can, and commonly does, fail. The reason for this is that it requires you to catch the degradation before it exceeds your ability to reverse.

Think of weight training. To increase your capacity to lift weight, you go in and lift a decent amount of weight, for a decent amount of reps. You don’t just go in and lift your one rep max once a day.

The times when I saw success, using my voluntary muscles felt like lifting the maximum amount of weight I was capable of. During untraining, I had gone from being able to easily stop peeing in mid-flow to having to exert all possible effort to stop myself peeing for a few seconds, before losing to a predictable moderate-pace dribble.

Since the point of no return, it doesn’t feel like I actually even have voluntary muscles. Metaphorically, before, it was like having someone tell me “Pull the lever,” and me responding, “The lever is really stiff, but I’ll try my hardest.” Now my response would be, “There is no lever.”

I don’t believe I’m in that category. I think I, and many of the people I’ve talked to, are untrainable. I will be in diapers 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 years from now. This is the case because my body is fundamentally less capable than it was when I was born. My body now totally lacks the capacity to be continent, to an extent that is irreversible even in principle.

So muß das sein

Sooo, Monday morning has come and gone, and with it, my half-hour appointment to talk with my doctor about my incontinence. 

I was actually pretty nervous about it going in, like, what would I be asked, how would she react, how easily was I going to be able to discuss so much about my incontinence with another person face to face. 

My nerves were definitely not helped by the fact that my doctor was running very late and I didn’t even get in to see her until half an hour after the original booked time, ha ha. I couldn’t help but think as my name was finally called that I’d already be done by now if things were running smoothly cx

Once I got to the actual conversation and discussion with my doctor though, things went pretty well I think, and I definitely feel like talking about incontinence so much on this blog has helped me to feel more normal about discussing it with another person out loud.

Obviously, I can’t recall every single thing that was said but, I basically just dove straight into it when we sat down, talking about how I’d been experiencing leakage for the past several years, how it seemed to have progressively gotten more severe over time and especially more so in the past year. I talked about how my wetting could catch me off guard, how I couldn’t seem to stop the flow once I started wetting, how my muscles felt sluggish and unresponsive and I couldn’t close them properly, and I also talked about how I seemed to leak and drip sometimes without even realizing it. We briefly went over how I have problems staying dry at night as well, and I made it clear that I wear protection constantly these days.

My doctor, of course, said it was very unusual for someone so young to be experiencing such severe incontinence, but that she had some theories on what might be causing it based off our discussion; and I did apologize to her for not bringing it up earlier in my life, mentioning that I was pretty nervous about discussing it, which she was sympathetic about.

Her primary theory is that I have some kind of minor spinal issue, which would explain the loss of sensation and failing bladder control. Apparently, when we’re born, there’s a chance of a particular part of our spine not connecting or developing properly or something, and that can cause the loss of feeling and incontinence which would match what I was talking about, as well as the issue slowly getting worse over time. She also mentioned that this quite often causes bowel incontinence as well, because it’s usually a loss of sensation to the whole area, which I found quite interesting since that might be a window to mention my bowel control in the future.

As for wearing a medical diaper to the appointment, that turned out to be a really fantastic idea, and I’m SO extremely glad that I did that because I can’t even imagine the awkward conversation that would have happened if I’d worn an ABU Space or something like that. My doctor decided that she wanted to try checking my spine physically in case anything felt out of the ordinary, and well, to run her fingers all the way down my spine, she had to pull the back of my diaper down a little so that it wasn’t in the way.

This is where I really appreciated her professionalism, ha ha, because she didn’t mention anything at all about the diaper, though I had explained earlier in the appointment that I wore them all the time now, so she was probably expecting it to be fair. Still, that could have been very awkward but it wasn’t in the slightest, it just felt totally normal. That’s what I wanted, for my diaper wearing to feel very regular and not like a big deal at all.

So, after all that, I ended up with a referral for an x-ray of my spine, which I’ll get done probably in the next week or so. As I said, she seems quite certain of what it is so, we’ll see how that goes.

Anyway, that’s about it for talking about my doctor’s visit, but I hope you found it informative or interesting : ) I honestly think the hardest part is over now, like, all the describing of my symptoms and talking about the progression of them over the years, as well as bringing up the fact that I wear diapers all the time to manage them. Hopefully, that’s all recorded in my files and will be part of my permanent record going forward (fun fact too, Australia is getting nationwide government-run health records on every citizen, so any doctor who accesses my healthcare file from now on will see this stuff recorded even if it’s in another city or state). In regards to the testing, I’m honestly interested to see how things turn out on the medical side of things, so I will be going forward with getting it/them done, and I’ll keep everyone updated as to the results of course.

When considering to get Medical diapers, they are largely a scam nowadays that exploit the stigma against diapers to make people who don’t know better waste money on subpar products that don’t actually function. (But hey, at least the marketing says they’re not diapers!)

Be proactive and invest in protective products!

So here is a long overdue list you won’t find at  your pharmacy, your frequently visited health-blog or at your doctors-office:

These Incontinence-Diapers that will keep you truly safe and dry (especially at night!):

1. Abena Abri Form M4

2. Better Dry

3. Rearz Inspire Incontrol

4. Indaslip (Dermo)

5. MyDiaper M4

6. Tena Slip Active Fit Ultima

7. MyDiaper White

8. Easy-Slip

9. ID Slip Expert Extra Plus

10. Lil Squirts White

More brands and in-depth-Reviews from various sources will be added soon!

For more information on Incontinence-Care download our FREE guide:

https://mega.nz/fm/H3BAQYDZ

So, untraining / diaper training / making yourself incontinent is actually extremely simple and straightforward. All it requires from you is time, patience, and a lot of diapers. That’s literally all you need to lose your control.

So first of all, you want to get in the habit of never using your muscles. That feeling where you clench to stop yourself from wetting or messing? Avoid doing that as much as you can, because that makes the muscles work and maintains their strength, while we’re wanting to weaken them as much as possible. It’s okay if you clench accidentally while you’re getting the hang of letting everything go whenever and wherever, that’s all part of learning and being patient with yourself, but you always want to avoid clenching down if you can.

The other thing you want to focus on is allowing your muscles to be open as much as possible. This is the feeling you get when you’re wetting or messing if you’re unsure, or if that’s still confusing to you, it’s the same thing you feel just after you finish voiding, before you stand back up off the toilet again and go back to clenching. It’s a very relaxed sensation, and there’s kind of this “dropping” feeling in your body when you do it. Practice doing this as much as you can, because, you guessed it, the more your body is in this state, the less it’s working and keeping your muscles strong. This will get easier and easier to do as you go until eventually, it’ll become so natural and normal that you’ll be open all the time without even thinking about it, and after a decent amount of time has passed, you won’t be able to close things at all anymore even when you try.

The very final thing you should try and do, and this isn’t necessary but I believe it speeds up the process and gets you wetting and messing with as little notice or feeling as possible if that’s what you want, is that you want to think about your voiding as little as you possibly can. To give an example of this, when you mess yourself, you don’t want to constantly be thinking like, “Oh my god I’m messing myself right now, I can’t believe I’m doing this”, or anything like that. You want to let everything become completely normalized and regular to you. If you start messing yourself, you should think of it as something that just happens sometimes, and you should remember that there’s nothing out of the ordinary about it for you, as someone who needs their diapers now. The same with wetting, just because you’re wetting yourself doesn’t mean you should let that distract you from anything you’re doing, it’s just something your body does now, but your diapers take care of it so you don’t even need to worry about that feeling.

By not clenching, by letting your muscles stay open, and wetting or messing yourself as soon as you feel the urge, you will untrain yourself. You can also train yourself to start voiding without noticing it if you’d like to by working on normalizing the behaviour, as I mentioned before. There’s no big secret to any of this, no ultimate crazy trick to it. It’s just science, and fact. 

So, there you have it, everything you need to know to untrain yourself and everything I did to get to where I am today. You don’t need any hypnosis or guides or anything like that, you just need your patience and perseverance. Doing what I’ve said here will cause your muscles to “atrophy”, which is basically saying that they’ll degrade over time to a point of being completely useless and unable to function, rendering yourself incontinent. 

The reason I took the time to write this out is to help this community, and so that you do not feel compelled to buy the $20 / $30 guide that is going around Tumblr these days. Nothing in it is new information, and you do not need it to untrain yourself, I promise you.

There are some amazing resources out there for anyone who genuinely wants to untrain themselves and wants info or advice on how to go about it, all absolutely free, and all you have to do is look. The first thing you can check out for a general overview of the process and some more in-depth tips is the 12 Month Diaper Training Program, though it isn’t perfect, and you should never use a single source for all your information. A person who I think is amazing and that I’ve referenced more than once as I’ve gone through my own untraining, is Kali, a man who has completely untrained and in my opinion, gives out some of the best advice in the untraining community (he is very good at answering asks too). The Incontinent Desires subforum on Daily Diapers is also full of people talking about and discussing losing all of their control, with some amazing personal stories and records of success, plus plenty of shared tips for living lives in diapers 24/7. 

Please please please, check out some of these people, places, and resources for your needs, and do not reward the person here on Tumblr who took publically available information from all around the Internet and put it behind a paywall. Do not reward the person who is making people who already bought their guide pay more to them again for an “updated” version. Do not reward the person who is exploiting desperate people who just want more information for their own profit. 

You can be completely successful in your untraining with just what I’ve said here, and a little bit of research or asking those who’ve untrained about what you’re unsure about is perfectly fine as well. In my experience, people who untrain themselves are usually some of the kindest and most genuinely helpful people I have had the pleasure of talking to in the ABDL community. Most of us understand that we each can’t help feeling like we’re meant to be incontinent, and most of us are happy to support one another with the process of untraining because of this, without the need for multiple separate Patreon accounts (which are made so that people have to give money multiple times over if they want all the content instead of getting everything for one clear price), an Amazon wishlist attached to every post, and a guide that other people can only access by paying for it, more than once if they want the newest version. 

Hello everyone! Hello! No, I’m not dead, I know, shocking : P

What I want to say right off the bat is, even though it’s been a couple of months, you haven’t missed as much as you think you might have, ha ha. Really, almost all of the tenth month was a bore as far as changes go, unless you count more messy accidents anyway. I assume stuff must have been developing in the background like it does sometimes, because this past month, on the other hand, has been a bit more interesting, 

The second thing I want to say right at the start is, I’m making a separate post that should go up right after this one about a bit of a trial/test run that I’m doing for a couple of weeks, which I’m starting the day after you read this! Go to the other post to read more about it, though I will be explaining it a little at the end of this update too. I think it’s something that will be very interesting to a lot of people, and it will be helping me to make a big decision : )

So, changes. 

First of all, I want to mention my bladder, and I’m very sorry to all those wetting fans out there that I have neglected by not mentioning changes to my bladder, though to be fair, I’ve been a bit caught up in trying to manage and explain my worsening bowel control for a while, so I feel slightly okay in doing so cx

So there haven’t been a ton of changes, since I’m already so far along and I already have really serious bladder incontinence, but there are a few very interesting developments that I can talk about. 

The surprise wettings that I mentioned a few months ago have gotten a bit more advanced since the last time I spoke about them. Before, I would suddenly start wetting out of the blue every now again, and that was a super big deal to me if everyone remembers because it felt like I was finally starting to accomplish my goal of being unaware of needing to wet, which I had hoped would lead to more and more wetting without my notice. The ultimate end game of my bladder incontinence that I’ve wanted to reach this whole time, is for me to be wetting without being aware of it even happening as much as is possible, and you know what, I think I’m getting closer. 

There have been two very exciting developments on that front. Firstly, and this is already super awesome without even counting the second thing, I’ve started to experience times where I only become aware that I’m wetting halfway through it happening. So there’ll be times where I’m playing a video game or having dinner with some friends or any number of things, and I’ll suddenly realize that I’m wetting myself. This is different from being surprised by my wetting that I talked about a few months ago, because in those times, I’d suddenly start wetting without knowing I needed to go, but as soon as I’d be wetting I’d notice right away that it was happening. These times though, I’ve already been wetting for some amount of time before I even notice the feeling that my body has let go.

This ties in heavily with the second thing that I need to talk about, and this thing is still quite rare, only happening a few times as far as I’m aware (that’s the trouble with not noticing wetting, you can’t notice that you didn’t notice it because it’s unnoticeable cx ). This is something that, honestly, I thought was really only a thing that happened in ABDL stories, so you can imagine that when it actually happened to me, I was extremely surprised and honestly completely giddy about it : )

This is the famous, written in every stereotypical story about losing incontinence ever thing where, when this happens, literally all you feel is your diaper getting warmer. That’s right, I’ve started to experience a few times now, where my body has apparently let go and began to wet, and literally all I can feel is warmth. Like, gosh, if that is not exciting then I don’t know what is, ha ha.  

I cannot feel my muscles or my wetting at all when this has happened, like seriously, the only sensation that I’ve had during these times is the spreading warmth in my diaper. It is kind of insane. So far it has only happened a few times like I mentioned, that I’m aware of, but I’m thinking and hoping that, like anything that starts off as rare or uncommon in my untraining so far, it is a good sign of things to come : )

So then, after all that interesting stuff going on with my bladder, I’m sure there are people wondering about my bowels. The last time I spoke about them, things were not under control, to say the least, ha ha, messy accidents galore am I right?

My bowel control has been a very intriguing subject as of late, and things have definitely changed and progressed from where I last left off, though honestly not in the way that I had anticipated after my experiences in my last post about them. 

At the time, I honestly thought that that was it like, that was the beginning of the end as far as my bowel control went and that I was going to have messy accidents all the time that I couldn’t do anything about. 

It’s ended up a little like that, but not entirely. 

So, the accidents, to an extent they are still a big part of my life. I have had a number more since I last spoke about them, and even one in particular where I started messing myself right in front of a friend as I was saying goodbye to her, which was really kind of mortifying and upsetting at the time. I wanted to talk about some of these, especially that one, but at the same time, I was worried about like, oversaturating people with all my messy accident stories. I’ve posted quite a few and I didn’t want people to get sick of them, though I’m happy to make a post about it if people are interested. 

As far as my bowel control goes in general though, I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place right now, ha ha, and I’ll explain why. 

Basically, nowadays, my body is at a point where it wants to mess twice a day, pretty much without fail, and that’s become the regular that it seems to expect (quite a massive change when you think about how I originally only messed every couple of days in the past, and now I can mess four times in that same period). If I let this happen, my messing is for the most part, extremely predictable and manageable, though it can still be slightly random because I don’t let it happen exactly as it wants, like if I eat lunch and then go to work and have an urge to mess because I ate, I still hold it, which can mess with the predictability. 

On the opposite side of this, if I try and fight my body completely and attempt to reject it wanting to mess twice a day now, I’m pretty much guaranteed a bad accident where I completely fill my diaper at any random unpredictable time, which you can probably understand, is less than ideal. 

So, I’m at a crossroads in my journey. I can either keep fighting my body and keep having random accidents at potentially really bad times, similar for example to when I had an accident and messed during my exam. Or, alternatively, I can give in completely to what my body wants, allowing myself to mess as it wishes, and my messing will become much more predictable and manageable, though this would likely be a permanent step and would mean messing up to three times a day once after every meal.

I’ve thought about this quite a lot for the past couple of weeks, as you can probably appreciate, going back and forth on it several times, but have come to a conclusion. I know exactly what it’s like to fight my body’s urges to mess every single step of the way, but no amount of reading or research or talking to people can make me understand what it is truly like to have no bowel control and mess whenever the urges first come. To live with that. 

So then, I’ve come up with this test/trial run that I mentioned at the start of the post. I’ve decided that, in order to make a proper decision on this subject, I need to experience what it’s like having no bowel control at all. For two weeks, I’m going to allow my body to mess as it wishes, with no attempt at control or resistance on my part. If I like it or don’t mind it, I’ll be going ahead with not ever controlling my bowels again from then on. 

I’ve made a separate post with more details if you’d like to know more, so feel free to check that out if you wish : )

My Guide to Unpotty Training

Today I want to share the tricks and tips I used to unpotty train myself. Keep in mind that some things will being to work almost immediately (3-4 days), while others will take weeks, months or even years.

So if you are ready to be a diaper wearing little boy like me, here’s how to start.

1) Make the commitment. From here onwards you will only wear diapers. When I made this decision myself years ago I opened my dresser drawer and took out all of cartoon briefs and tightie whities (I never did wear “big boy” underwear). I then took my scissors and cut up my underoes so all I was left with was a pile of cotton rags. I quickly got myself padded up before I could change my mind, put on some pants and took my destroyed underwear to the trash, telling myself that I will NEVER wear underwear again.

2. From here onwards you can only wear diapers at all times. Regardless of where you are or what the occasion, unpotty training requires you to wear diapers at all times, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. The moment you put on that big boy underwear and use that potty all that training you did will be destroyed. It takes a great degree of effort to convince your body that it is okay to just let go whenever and wherever. Potty training and all those years of using the potty have created a very strong learned behaviour.

3). Drink lots of water and juice throughout the day, this will keep you bladder full and make it much easier to practice uncontrolled wetting. It is also important to drink two bottles of juice or water within one hour of bedtime. This will help ensure you have to wet throughout the night.

4) Now for the unpotty training. Wet as soon as you feel it, DO NOT hold it. You want to train you body to just “release” on its on. I repeat NEVER HOLD IT. By holding it you are strengthening the bladder, rather then weakening it. It’s a muscle that needs training, so ensure you are constantly training it to relax. It is not initially possible to “ignore” the conscious awareness of needing to wet, but by telling yourself to relax and “let it happen” you will find your subconscious, the part that actually keep your from wetting yourself and controls the autonomous behaviour responses, will begin to accept and adopt the new patterns and responses until you do just void unconsciously. A few days to a week of unconscious natural voiding and you will be wetting and messing just like a little baby. Continue rewarding yourself mentally for being such a good baby, and wetting and messing yourself naturally and easily, and you will never feel ashamed or humiliated or embarrassed about what you now can do. Unpotty training is a combination of both physical and mental training.

5) Night-time wetting will take FOREVER. So have patience. Go to bed every night with a full bladder. Falling asleep with a bottle or sippy cup of water works great. Since you went to bed with a full bladder you will likely wake up and at some point and need to pee. Try to picture yourself remaining asleep as you wet, and “pretend” you are still sleeping. After you wet your diaper, relax again, and picture this happening while you sleep soundly, contentedly, and happily. Soon this is exactly how it will happen. It may take a few months [my experience] for you to sleep soundly through the night, and to wet naturally in your sleep. You may find yourself waking a while after you have wet, or just as you are wetting, but ignore it, and keep your eyes closed and fall back asleep. Remind yourself how wonderful it feels and fall asleep sucking your pacifier and hugging your teddy bear.

6) Remember what you are doing is potty training in reverse, so have patience. It took time to become potty trained in the first place and more important it is something you have been doing for decades, so it will take patience and time to unpotty train. Continue to reward and reinforce the “good, nice” sensations of wetting (and messing) and you will soon teach your body that it is okay to be a diaper boy.

1. I ❤️diapers because they make me feel cute. 2. I ❤️diapers because it’s like always getting a hug around your waist. 3. I ❤️diapers because I’m too little to begin potty training. 4. I ❤️diapers because the potty is scary. (There’s a monster in there.) 5. I ❤️diapers because they make me feel safe. 6. I ❤️diapers because they make me waddle when I put more than one on a time and/or when my diaper is full. 7. I ❤️diapers for diaper changes. 8. I ❤️diapers for the smell of baby powder. 9. I ❤️diapers because they take me back in time where things weren’t as chaotic as they are now. 10. I ❤️diapers for stress release.