Dependent Personality Disorder

Hey everyone!! This is a masterpost for blogs and websites linked to neurodivergencies!

I will cut it in several parts for each neurodivergencies and update it over time, so don’t hesitate to give me more links, no matter the language. 9 blogs/websites max in a category, more will lead to a special masterpost for the sake of readability and views of the other categories.

When there’s a tumblr blog, the @ is added after the name/acronym if there is one, for the website, the link is connected to the name/acronym. For now everything is in english, but the language will be added in ().

ADHD:

ADHD answers: @tfw-adhd

good ADHD vibes: @adhdmorelikeyaydhd

ADHD Help Blog: @theydhd-help

That’s ADHD, babey!: @adhbabey

ABCs of ADHD: @abcsofadhd

OCD + ADHD (+ ASD) Things!: @meintheadhd-ocd

Oh it’s just my executive dysfunction: @yayydhd

My ADHD Life: @adhd-chaos-queen

ADHD Alien: @adhd-alien

Autism:

ASAN: @autisticadvocacy

AWN: @awn-network

Autistic people are speaking for ourselves. are you listening?: @autistics-speak

Jumbled Beans: @autistic-apple-sauce

Autistic Questions and SpongeBob Stuff: @spongebob-autisticquestions (also talks about ADHD sometimes)

Schizo-spectrum:

SARDAA

NPD:

Psychology in Seattle (Youtube): It talks about different things but there’s good ressources for NPD, you can use the list of episode to find links and titles more easily

@psychemoss: Talk mostly about personality disorders such as NPD, ASPD or SzPD.

You are loved!: @npdsafe (he made a NPD server!)

BPD:

pure chaos: @bpd00m

ASPD:

Sweet Trench Coat : @sociopathica

An ASPD Log: @apsychopathslog

ASPD Advice & Information: @your-aspd-dad

DID/OSDD

This is Not Dissociative: @this-is-not-dissociative

@facesofone

It too shall pass: @osdd-1bitch

Give me more blogs and websites

The point of this masterpost is to help people understand the different neurodivergencies, to help the persons who have them to connect to others and understand themselves, and to help them on other levels (stim blogs for example). Which is why it’s important that the blogs and websites are run by people having the neurodivergency and that it isn’t ableist or eugenic. Example: autism speaks is an absolute no.

I can’t tell you how your FP experiences DPD because it could be like what some articles say. I can tell you my experience of DPD though and how it influences me but that’s really it.

Though one thing I have found that’s a major difference btw my experience of DPD and what a lot of articles say about DPD is that DPD isn’t as conscious as a lot of articles describe. For me it’s not as though I’m trying to make people think I can’t take care of myself but rather I’m talking about my worries because I know I can’t take care of myself and I want advice.

Also something I haven’t personally seen in too many articles is a fear of being alone or doing tasks alone. Last year when my roommate would leave for the weekend I would barely do anything at all. I wouldn’t get up from my bed. I could not see a reason to being alive or taking care of myself unless someone was there that assumed I would. It was also incredibly hard, even when she was there, for me to leave on my own. I could only bring myself to eat if someone told me to, went with me, or was expecting to do something with me after I ate.

Also a lot of the things I do are centered around making someone else proud of me or doing something that others expecting of me. There very few if anything I did actually for myself because I felt like I needed it. And when you’re alone it’s also kind of like you’re the only person in the world so why do anything anyway? And if you can’t find the motivation to do basic tasks outside of someone expecting you to then when they’re gone, even if for the weekend then why are you alive?

And as far as taking care of myself in the future, that’s not something I’ve even conceptualized doing alone, let alone particularly planned on. And it’s only been recently where I’ve even realized this. I’ve got to be doing something for someone and myself for me to do something. Because I honestly do not value nor do I feel like I am capable enough to be able to do something solely for myself.

Also if I can take care of someone else making them happy is enough for me. It’s enough for me to feel like I have a reason for being alive because I’m not alive for myself.

I hope I explained this well. Here are some resources that I related to when my psychiatrist told me I have DPD.

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/dependent-personality-disorder-symptoms/

http://www.healthline.com/health/dependent-personality-disorder#overview1

https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/dependent-personality-disorder

As far as how to help someone with DPD is to just listen to their needs. Please don’t think we are exaggerating. And like if we are doing something on our own please encourage us, tell us how good we are doing and then trust us to do it. It’s a big deal for us to be able to do something on our own or to learn a new skill on our own. So don’t baby us because then we’ll start to self doubt and feel useless ect.

Anger and sadness are the same emotion. Anger is just the outward based emotion while sadness is the inward based one. Anger is the one you blame and base in your enviorment while sadness is the one that’s internalized and have based in yourself and your view of yourself.

Similarly I think happiness and contentness are the same emotion. Happiness the outward based emotion while contentness is the internal based one.

I finally have a name for it, I finally know where these seemingly random anxiety spikes and my terrible temper come from, or why motivating myself to do even things I love is like herding cats.

I finally know what's "wrong" with me, I'm not just being lazy or a stubborn cantankerous bastard for no reason.

hiya!

pda stands for pathological demand avoidance syndrome (which i have!). ive also seen it be called permanent demand anxiety which isnt its official name but is perhaps a better description.

its on the autism spectrum and its characterised by getting severe anxiety (going into fight or flight mode) when asked to do things. that also goes for internal demands- eg getting very anxious when u know u have to do something and therefore finding it impossible to do.

its not an official diagnosis in some places because not enough research has been done, but its becoming increasingly recognised as a thing that exists.

some links giving more information:

here

here

- I've never had problems with schoolwork, but I did do most of my assignments at the last possible moment. now this could also be explained by executive dysfunction or plain old procrastination, but what's interesting is that whenever I decided something like "starting tomorrow I'll study 2 topics each day" I knew that I had to start studying THAT day instead of the next, because it wasn't a "must" to do just yet and I didn't have the accompanying anxiety. mind you, we're only a night's sleep away from the start of the "official start day" but the fact that it wasn't "tomorrow" yet so I technically didn't HAVE TO do the studying made all the difference.

- another thing I find freakishly relatable is how whenever we're planning anything that I'm looking forward to, like going for a hike, a walk, starting small renovations, playing board games... I'm all enthusiastic as long as it's just theoretical but whenever the actual date for said activity occurs I start coming up with excuses. and it's mostly with things where someone else is involved and I feel like they want me to do the thing. "I feel tired now, maybe later" "we shouldn't go to the movies after all, we can watch it later on netflix and we'll even save money" "I don't know how to / if I can execute this task 100% so I'll wait until it's absolutely pressing to do or someone else helps"

- I've never read anything else that could explain why I feel a sudden burst of anger and irritation whenever someone tries to help me by telling me what to do if I didn't ask for their help. we constantly fight over this with my boyfriend because he's being nice and wants to help me and all I want him to do is just listen and support me without offering unsolicited advice. but then he does and suddenly I physically feel myself clamming up in defense because all his ideas, all his plans of action make me feel anxious and overwhelmed. which is sad since we can no longer proceed with solving the issue that started the conversation in the first place because I'm all closed up and irritated and I reject everything.

Dealing with executive dysfunction and ADHD becomes so much easier when you stop trying to do things the way you feel like you should be able to do them (like everyone else) and start finding ways that actually work for you, no matter how “silly” or “unnecessary” they seem.

For years my floor was constantly covered in laundry. Clean laundry got mixed in with dirty and I had to wash things twice, just making more work for myself. Now I just have 3 laundry bins: dirty (wash it later), clean (put it away later), and mystery (figure it out later). Sure, theoretically I could sort my clothes into dirty or clean as soon as I take them off and put them away straight out of the dryer, but realistically that’s never going to be a sustainable strategy for me.

How many garbage bins do you need in a bedroom? One? WRONG! The correct answer is one within arms reach at all times. Which for me is three. Because am I really going to get up to blow my nose when I’m hyperfocusing? NO. In allergy season I even have an empty kleenex box for “used tissues I can use again.” Kinda gross? Yeah. But less gross than a snowy winter landscape of dusty germs on my desk.

I used to be late all the time because I couldn’t find my house key. But it costs $2.50 and 3 minutes to copy a key, so now there’s one in my backpack, my purse, my gym bag, my wallet, my desk, and hanging on my door. Problem solved.

I’m like a ninja for getting pout the door past reminder notes without noticing. If I really don’t want to forget something, I make a physical barrier in front of my door. A sticky note is a lot easier to walk past than a two foot high cardboard box with my wallet on top of it.

showers are hard for me because they involve a lot of steps to get in and out. buying cleaning hand wipes helps me stay a lot cleaner and happier when i’m too tired or distracted to make myself be a normal person– they’re faster and involve way less prep time, decision making, and unpleasant physical sensations. 

i have disordered eating because, again, getting food is complicated, much less cooking anything. buying 10-12$ of cliff bars at a go and keeping them in my room by my bed gives me a headstart on breakfast and lets me take my meds on time. otherwise i would lie in bed, not taking my meds because i had to eat, and not eating because i was too tired and nauseous from being hungry to get out of bed.  

‘just try harder’ is not a solution. figuring out the actual problem and addressing it is the solution.