The Secret Son of a Legend Part 2
a/n: Hi all, sorry part 2 took this long. I had exams along the way which stressed me out plus quite honestly I had problems with thinking of what part 2 should be about. Since this is kind of just Sae getting used to himself as a father I thought I'd make more content later on in this same AU, except they wouldn't neccessarily act as parts. Ialready had this idea at midnight that Sae takes Shoma out to an aquarium as a daddy-son outing. We'll see how that turns out.
Other than that, if you have any ideas you'd like to see please feel free to request, I will try doing it justice.
Synopsis: Reluctantly you agreed to let Sae inside and now he will try his best to be there for the both of you. He tries being a responsible father while also maintaning his public persona. No one said this would be easy, but even so he will stand by his decision. He will do his best to persuade you: He can do well as a father. Even if it all sounded way too out of his world.
Warning: pretty long ≈ 7k+ words
Apologies for any misspellings.
Hope you enjoy <3
This is part two of a previous fic of mine. Part 1 Part 2 (you are here)
“Y/N. I will give you this pass: after the match, wait for me at the lockers. We really have to talk.”
At least that’s what he said. And while admittedly he did make a great pass one time- one that went all the way from one end of the court to the other, straight to his striker- it wasn’t like he could melt your heart with that only.
Also, Sae never made huge romantic gestures. Dedicating a pass? Wearing an ages-old thing that has long been reduced to nothing but a piece of string: Stripped of its meaning? That’s not like him.
But as time passed and you snuck past security (which wasn’t complicated, so Sae might’ve already told them about two visitors), those bold words began replaying in your mind. It was pissing you off. How could he just expect you’d do what he wants? What is he? Your boss?
Never in your lifetime. If this were about you, you wouldn’t even speak to him. But you were more mature. Obviously, if you were in the same situation, your roles would be switched, and you would beg him to let you into his life.
Not that you would ever want to cower in front of him. You were a little prouder than you suggested.
Despite those thoughts, you sat on that cold bench with Shoma in your lap. As Sae asked, you waited near the locker rooms. Compared to your son, you were a nervous wreck. The little guy was playing with the plushie you brought, all so absentmindedly. That’s how it occurred to you: your son is just as “go with the flow” as Sae.
Not that he wasn’t the cutest, most adorable, and most precious being in your world. But sometimes their uncanny resemblance simply hits you.
Even so, you never perceived this as a horrible feature. Sae was meticulous and caring in his own way. He always did more than he said, and oftentimes these actions beat meaningless letters.
Loving him was slow. It was quiet. Some might've mistaken it for a fling, but it was more. Yet by the time you accepted how Sae showed love, you ended it all.
It felt like a dreadful hour had passed by. You almost voiced your annoyance, yet you stayed quiet. Despite that, observant-as-ever Shoma decided to note your frowny expression. “Mommy wants to go home?” He asked innocently.
Your eyes softened, and you tucked his hair away while reminding yourself to get him a trim at home. “Yes, a little. Mommy isn’t sure how to get home if we miss the last train.”
“But you could just ask Uncle to take us home,” he intervened.
“Maybe, but I don’t want to trouble him. He probably has had enough of us these days anyway.” You responded. He had quite the personality after all. “Also, Shoma, dear, how do you feel about suddenly finding out about Sae? You can tell me anything.”
Honestly, the question has been pressing you ever since you had that argument. You knew that keeping it from him wasn’t the answer. But then again, how do you explain to a two-year-old a broken relationship? How do you tell him that his father and mother left things unresolved?
“I don’t want mommy to be sad. Mommy always tells Sho’ to smile brightly, so I also want that for mommy.” He said confidently before trailing off. “But I would really like to spend time with Sae-san too, he is amazing like that!! I wish he could teach me football tricks!” he said enthusiastically. Shoma was so little and yet you knew how even a little boy can perceive things well, even if it was so-called ‘grown-up stuff’.
You smiled and kissed his forehead. “Still calling him Sae-san, huh…” You chuckled.
“What am I supposed to call him?” The little boy pondered.
“Dad will be fine. Or rather, since Mom is mommy-” he faltered and looked away a little shyly. You swore his ears tinted with a little blush. “Daddy works too.” Sae walked down the hallway to reach you. His hair was still a little damp- probably from his sacred shower- and you saw water droplets cascading down his neck.
“That is, if me and your mom can talk. Normally.” He squinted his eyes.
You weren’t even surprised when he just suddenly barged in on the conversation while sitting down next to you. That was the goal-oriented Sae you knew. No need for useless formalities.
But what he said caused an irk mark on your forehead. How cocky! Shouldn’t you be the one to say that? Your expression might’ve given away your thoughts because he continued.
“I mean it. Also, my teammates might come out in a minute. If you live nearby, I can drive you, then talk. It’s getting very late.” He offered. His eyes didn’t wander from your stare. It was just like ‘old times’. Those teal eyes that made your reflection beautiful. Yes, even that ‘two-year-postpartum-chubby’ look.
Not to mention how there was no trace of an emotionless hue. They didn’t scream “bothersome” as usual. Instead, they were inspecting. Carefully analyzing. You could compare it to when he analyzes matches at home on the TV. Although something was different,
“Daddy will take us home!” Shoma exclaimed and clapped. Sae’s eyes widened. As much as he hated to already scold the kid for his loudness (specifically because of how happily he called him Daddy), he wasn’t sure how his team, let alone the media, would react. Those imbeciles in that locker room were enough pains in the butt already. He didn’t need any of them to accidentally reveal something even he himself can’t comprehend yet.
So he calmed Shoma and quietly escorted you two out of the cold corridor. He threw his bag over his shoulder while grabbing his car keys.
“We don’t live nearby; in fact, you made us wait for so long that we might miss the last train back. Doesn’t sound like much of a coincidence from you, by the way.” You retorted, following him unwillingly.
“I don’t even know where you moved, so stop with those conspiracy theories. You are being annoying-” Sae swallowed and shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that on purpose,” he mumbled quietly.
“Say that to my face, Itoshi, go on.” Your brows furrowed. In response, he only sighed.
“Never mind, so where do you live? I’ll drive you.” He relented. He didn’t want to repeat whatever happened on the day of your break-up.
“Far away, we don’t need your help.” Lips forming a pout. You were way too stubborn. Even more so after his slip-up.
“Alcobendas!” Shoma exclaimed after a heartfelt giggle. At least one of you thought this was funny.
“Ah, that's like 15 minutes from here by car.” He smiled at Shoma. “I suppose I should buy a baby seat before going, though.” He trailed off. You stopped in your tracks and blinked at him cluelessly. “Don’t stare at me like that, obviously I won’t drive like some maniac, but he can barely even walk.”
In truth as Shoma was past two years old he could already confidently waddle. He often slipped but nevertheless, what he said was definetely an exaggeration. He was bing protective already.
“That’s.. not what I-” You sighed. “Not what I intended. Still, you don’t have to go out of your way. Besides, you said you wanted to talk about this, and we are doing everything except that. Are you ignoring the matter at hand or at a loss for words? Perhaps you don’t even know what you want to say.” Your accusations stood their ground. “Stop dilly-dallying, Itoshi, and get to the topic. This isn’t like you!”
Your monologue seemed to have an effect because he stopped in his steps. He looked down at you and therefore took a step back. Your arms instinctively tightened around Shoma and hugged him closer. “Yeah, I don’t know what to say. Obviously. How am I even supposed to react?" His hand with multiple rings ran through his hair.
"I want to hug you, I want to apologize- even on my knees if that works- that I didn’t know. That I missed more than 9 months of something we created together. That you had to go through all that without the person who is responsible.”
“But I am not the only faulty one. You blocked me after it all, even my manager. You think I wouldn't have shielded you from that f-ing backlash when the media found out?” He huffed. Indeed, breaking up with a high-class celebrity had its intricacies. You were dissed by riporters, news, even random people who recognized you on the streets. Some paparazzi even chased you just to get the perfect 'The couple of the year ended in tragedy' photos. “I knew this would happen! I would’ve done something if you let me! But someone blocked me. Even my e-mail!”
His tone was nothing like ever before. It was filled with guilt, pain and shame. You didn't even know how to react because all his feelings just stuck to you. His words replayed inside you over and over, before he continued. His remorse fully settling inside your guts.
“I didn’t want any of this. You didn’t deserve what the media spread about you. Naturally, I wanted to address this situation, but I had no idea how to approach it. No matter what I’d say it’d either come out wrong or simply wouldn’t sound right. All in all, no one can know about this. Most importantly, not as long as we can’t figure it out. He already looks obvious enough. Even bringing him to this match was super risky.” He frowned while stiffening.
He probably put a lot of thought into this. In that you always admired him. With just barely any time, he was able to rationally think through most of the alternatives and eliminate the ones that were faulty. He has always been so strong.
However, that last thought didn't sit right with you.
“My son won’t be some locked-up prince just because he has your features. He can continue having friends, making memories, and even enjoying the things he likes. So forget it if you want to play boy-Rapunzel with him. I’m not having it.” You declared confidently. On that note, you knew this would complicate things. But locking your child in couldn’t ever be the answer. That was the sole thing you knew for sure ever since he grew his hair out.
You will always and forever protect Shoma.
“Right, makes sense.” He agreed. Your eyes widened slightly. When was the last time you actually agreed on something? That was almost impossible. “It wouldn’t have felt right anyway.”
A moment of silence flew by as both of you emerged in your thoughts. “Mommy and daddy should stop arguing.” A quiet voice mumbled. Yet in that moment, your thoughts were louder than the outside world.
What immediately made you come back to your senses was a quiet sneeze. You only now realized how cold this night spring air actually was. You were about to take your coat off and wrap it around Shoma when Sae stopped you.
“I will get the heat up in the car. On that, I’m not opening a debate. Also, I am buying a car seat, so we will head there first, and we can discuss more things when you get home. I also have a feeling that someone's been watching us.” He spoke quietly.
“What? Where??” You were about to look around in those dim street lights when Sae grabbed your chin. “Stop looking around, don’t be obvious. I think right by the back door of the stadium where we came from. But since we are in the dark, he just sees our silhouettes. Hopefully.”
Sae and hope. Two major contradictory words together, but you let it slide. He was way beyond what you knew him as by now, anyway. “What do we do?” This time, you will obediently follow along as if he were your boss. For Shoma.
"Nothing, he will leave us alone soon, plus I'll make sure he loses us if he follows on the street." he sadly calmly. It was oddly reassuring.
He opened the car door in the back. “I assume you will sit with him?” He asked the needless question but didn’t wait for the answer as he closed it after you.
It didn’t take him long to find a place with baby seats still open (not with his money and fame), and naturally, he bought the most expensive one. But only after Shoma confirmed how cool the one with dinos was. It took a decent amount of time to ensure it’s safely placed in, and you made sure Shoma was buckled in.
“What’s your address?” He asked while opening the GPS on the car screen.
“I’ll tell you if you delete it right after.” Negotiation. You acted as if your address couldn’t be known by anyone, let alone Sae.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t blame me if I happen to remember, so?” He asked impatiently.
You decided not to pay attention to his teasing and answered obediently. “Calle Camino del Cura 233, it’s a green building.” You mumbled softly, and Sae typed it on the car screen.
You took Shoma’s hand in yours and squeezed it a little. “You are already so tired, huh?” A warm smile was displayed on your face.
“Mommy, best day ever. Meeting daddy was great too.” Shoma babbled, but still you could make it all out. Maybe accepting Sae will take much longer for you than it will take for Shoma, but even then, you won’t take his father figure away. You will adjust for the sake of your son.
“I’m glad you feel that way. We’ll be home soon, and I’ll put you to bed.” The little boy nodded silently. Later, as he fell deeper into slumber, you could see his drool. He was always like this, and when you wiped him with a tissue, he turned onto his other side.
You couldn’t contain that giggle. He was way too cute to pass. But you didn’t need to.
Sae watched you closely in the rearview mirror. To him, this was inaccessible. He never would’ve dreamt of becoming a father. That didn’t fit into his reality. But here he was watching two people who are basically strangers to his head, yet the concept of family to his heart.
“I’d love to be a part of your world.” He sighed absentmindedly. Only when he felt your inquiring eyes did he elaborate- perhaps shyly as his ears reddened. “I just never thought I could find love, let alone be a father. And I didn’t even know-” He shook his head, concentrating on the road. “It doesn’t matter. I just hope we can resolve things between us.” That tone filled with concern appeared again. The feeling of longing disclosed around you in the limited space.
“If there really are things to resolve.” You said harshly. The cold tone pierced through the air, and Sae was sure you learned it from him. He nodded. He understood where you came from. Because back then, it wasn’t just you or him who started the argument that led to breaking up. Neither of you ever really listened. You failed to hear his love, and he failed to hear your needs. Two key factors for a successful relationship.
Yet it struck him. If someone were to ask about your favourite food, Sae needn’t think. And most probably, if someone asked about his favourite music, you would make fun of him again after confidently blabbing the answer.
“We are here. I’ll bring Shoma after you.” You nodded and got out of the car with your bags.
Sae holding your son in his arms was a sight to behold.
You didn’t expect this predicament, but it felt illegal. A sight way too sweet. The small baby slept soundly inside his muscular arms, creating a safe and comfortable place. Shoma instinctively snuggled closer, and you couldn’t take your eyes off them. Sae’s free hand gently stroked Shoma’ s hair, and he leaned down to plant a small kiss on his temple.
You always knew- despite Sae strongly disagreeing- that he would be an amazing dad. Because yes, even if his relationship with Rin soured over time, he still took care of his little brother and guided him every step of the way.
There was no need for doubt. This is what would’ve happened if you didn’t keep it all a secret. If you had just told him from the start. If you hadn’t suggested breaking up.
Such thoughts spiraled inside. Once they started, they came running down like summer rainfall.
“Y/N!! Pay attention!” Sae shook your shoulders abruptly, causing you to step out of the loophole. “Seriously, a car could’ve hit you if I didn't pull you back. Are you okay?” His voice was laced with concern.
For a minute, you just blinked at him, taking his worried tone and expression in. “Yes, sorry, I just... had something on my mind.” You stuttered an excuse.
Your fingers pressed the numbers of the passcode to the building, but before pressing the last digit, you turned to Sae. “You are coming inside, right?” The hopeful tone surprised you, too. Despite that, Sae suppressed a smile. You could tell in his eyes. That was the smug look of a winner. “Yes.” However, his tone didn’t reveal anything. It remained neutral and self-assured.
You were making tea for him while he patiently sat on your barstool texting away on his mobile. “Would you like anything with it? Although I only have sugary desserts…” You trailed off.
“Why am I not surprised, Sweet-tooth?” The old nickname rolled off his tongue delicately. “You know I can’t eat that even if I wanted to.” He seemed to send the message as he finally looked up straight at you. “I don’t need anything.”
You nodded and gave him a cup of tea. “Are you going to drive back now?” You asked. You knew that was it. Shoma was in bed after Sae followed you inside, and this “detour” was only thanks to your heart wanting to tug on something non-existent. In reality, there were not even crumbs left from your relationship.
Sae nodded after drinking. “But I would like to visit more. Only to visit my son, of course.” He said quietly. Almost like a whisper. If you hadn’t paid such close attention to his mouth, you wouldn’t have noticed he said anything.
“He is my-” you sighed, not even bothering to argue anymore. Shoma may have been your son only before tonight, but now Sae was just as much accepted as a parent as his uncle. “Okay. Just don’t come every day. And don’t use the same car, I don’t need paparazzi flowing into my building. I’d like peace.”
He agreed, and after making sure he could fit it into his schedule, he headed for the door. “By the way, unblock my number if you still have it. That wasn’t me asking.” He ordered. No need for further elaboration. He always gets what he wants.
“Were you checking that on your phone at the counter?” You blurted. Why did you say that? Out of all the controlling sentences, why pick that with this tone? It came out all wrong. Why would you even care?
“No, but it’s great to know you are still so interested in what I do on my phone.” He sighed and reached for the doorknob. “I was talking to my manager.” He lowered his voice. “To make sure to keep at least 3 hours free in the afternoons.”
Your heartbeat quickened. Your hand made its way to your hair to subconsciously tuck a strand behind your ear. “Nice.” You hoped he didn’t notice the stutter. “Don’t come in the mornings, though, his uncle takes care of him then, as I have work.”
“Uncle?” he squinted. This will be tricky to explain. “Your family lives far away from here, so it can’t be them. Who is his uncle?”
“It’s not important-” You tried delaying, but he wasn’t having it. The more you pulled away, the more he wanted to know. Of course.
“Listen, if I want to be an acceptable father to him, I should know who fills what role in his life. I’d rather hear it from you than suddenly find out from him. Are you seeing someone?” His voice cracked. It was disbelief in its own Sae-fashion. You knew there was no way getting out of this, so your mouth opened for the answer.
“Rin.” Three letters. This brought a sense of pain for Sae. Sure, he messed up their relationship, but with reason. At least it was reasonable to himself.
“He is playing for France, he can't be here.” Dumbfounded.
“Temporarily, he can. He is staying in a hotel nearby and offered to help out since he is free. Otherwise, the neighbours helped me when I couldn’t stay home.” Your explanation was sound. Sae knew. Yet it still disturbed him. His brother knew he had a child. His younger brother knew he was a father. But never said anything. Never showed any signs. He felt betrayed.
However, he knew this was probably Rin’s way of striking back for what he did on that snowy day in Japan. Still, a child shouldn’t be a subject for revenge. Regardless, he could never be mad at his brother. Not Rin. Not you. And a new exception from it all: Not Shoma. He could never.
He turned, waved bye, and took the stairs. You ran to the kitchen window to watch him sit in the car. But he didn’t start it for another 5 minutes. Which felt like an eternity. You watched for a while, but eventually got bored as he still didn’t leave. You took your phone in hand and hopped down on the couch.
After turning it on, you opened the messages, and your finger hovered over Sae’s name. For a second, you almost exited, but something in you softened. Your finger pressed slowly on the ominous “unblock” button. “For Shoma.” You told yourself.
As for whether it was a lie or not? The world may never know.
You let Sae try to become the father he never got to be. Eventually, you knew things would change one way or the other- preferably the latter. (“Or not so much,” Said your rapidly pounding heart.) Yet for now, this was enough.
You will try letting him in, and he will try his best to actually be here. Both metaphorically and physically.
Talking about such a long and hard topic like sharing a child will need a good few nights to sleep on. You were in the clear about that. Regardless, with time, you could tackle it one by one. Not to mention how Sae was really already trying his very best.
Emotions and feelings were complicated. Specifically to a nonchalant man like him. Nevertheless, he is doing everything in his power. And if he keeps it up, your pounding heartbeat might get swayed.
