ruby

RECIPROCATED ORAL!!!

i met a sweet boy. he’s nothing but nice to me, i haven’t been treated like this before. i’m not used to reciprocated affections or sex that is degrading in the way i like, but lacks the misogynistic intent i think hetero rough sex usually entails. i feel loved - although we aren’t even dating, don’t think i should say that yet. KNOCK ON WOOD RN. i really hope he’ll ask me to be his girlfriend soon, cause i don’t ask. idk why like it’s probably a gender roll thing ingrained in me (with a heaping spoonful of rejection anxiety mixed in).

anyways here my ootd that i don’t like very much.

top - aritzia, tna

sweater - f21 liiike 2019?

pants - thrifted, tommy hilfigure

shoes - converse 70s whateva

necklace - vintage juicy couture baby

ootd baby

dress - thrifted, h&m kids

shoes - i’m not sure, maybe f21 2018?

there is a victimized trauma response version of myself that encourages the toxic fetishization of my youth and childlike figure. it’s not necessarily right but i have my justifications. i don’t even think the guys i go for see that in me, and if they do they chose to ignore it. i appreciate that. i even congratulate myself for choosing appropriate partners for myself. but there’s the constant baby demon in my brain trying to victimize myself further with older men and rough sex. i’ve been ok to myself so far. the oldest i’ve pushed it was 6 year age gap with a man whore that fucks every slightly alt girl in my city (including minors he literally gives minors drugs and fucks them in his luxury apartment,, i did not know this when i was sleeping with him ohmygod) he moved to california where the age of consent is 18 and i see a jail sentence for him. hopefully. back to me,, i am simply a victim of the Adrian Lyne and Nabokov narrative, does that mean i’m looking for Humbert? no. but i have to control the narrative of my fetishization in a way that pleases me before it is chosen for me.

anyways look of the day

felix the cat sweater vest - thrifted

pants - brandy

hoodie - brandy

shoes - converse 70’s high tops

necklace - igirl pendant

i'm back, tumblr is dead and i love it

it’s time i delete tumblr, thank you for the taste of fame lol. i got bullied in highschool, but i think it was worth it?

again go follow me 😡😡😡 bc i’m cute and funny and cute