The Bee Meister

Besides, he had it coming. He only had himself to blame.

He removed his glasses to dry them off on his shirt before sliding them back on and looking her straight in the eye. “In the entire ten years I’ve known you, I can’t think of a single moment when I didn’t love you more than life itself.”

He leaned back in his chair, shrugging. “But that doesn’t matter though, right? Because I have somehow managed to shove my head so far up my ass that I didn’t even notice how shitty I was treating you. So I can sit here and ramble on about all the reasons I love you, but it won’t make up for squat. I am the most microscopic of dicks to literally everyone, and you got caught in the crossfire. You’ve never done anything to deserve that.”

His hands were shaking now, and he had to put his hands in his lap under table to keep it from being visible. “You can call the school and tell them you want one of those new meisters you were talking about. Maybe then you won’t have to keep racking up your soul count. Just… if they spout a fraction of the shit I put you through, kick their ass for me.”

He stood up and set her coat on the table. “Next time you decide to go running out in the middle of winter, take this. You’ll freeze yourself to death.”

And with that, Sollux turned and left the cafe, wondering why the hell he was walking away.

But…she had nothing for when he said yes.

She sat there and listened, and she watched him speak with an actual emotion that wasn’t any of the two that he usually flipped through. She couldn’t place it on him, though…she just couldn’t. She looked at him and she cried, again (make that another glass) and she watched as he actually admitted to all the shit he pulled…before he told her to get another meister and he went to leave.

"Sol, wait-!" And she sat back down in defeat as he left, the door closing behind him went in slow motion.

Later that night, she went back home, she hung up her unused coat and she walked to Sollux’s room. She she walked over and knelt by his form (she didn’t know if he was sleeping or not) and she slowly pet him. She whispered “You’re not a microscopic dick…more like just the hole. A dick hole. And…while you do treat me like shit…I can’t leave you for another meister. 10 years of friendships and love stronger than Death itself (sorry Lord Shinigami) won’t let me walk away.”

The warm shower he took when he got home may have been enough to warm him up, but it was by no means enough to wash away the feeling of guilt eating at his soul. How could he have treated his own best friend so horribly? How did he not even notice? And what would he do now that he didn't have a weapon? He had a very hard soul to match, there was no way someone would just waltz in and replace Aradia.

No one could replace Aradia.

Though as far as Sollux was concerned, he was replaceable. He would move out in the morning and see if he could con one of his friends into letting him stay with them until he could find a new place, and then take his spot on the list of meisters that can't find weapons and live out his remaining years at the academy feeling sorry for himself.

He stared blankly at his computer, feeling completely enthused about it for the first time in years. It sucked that he couldn't even turn to the internet for comfort. With nothing to do and a whole in his heart, Sollux decided to just take a nap. He cocooned himself in bed and fell into a light, dreamless sleep, only waking a few hours later when he felt someone touching his face.

Had Sollux ever seen her cry before? Maybe once or twice in the years upon years that they had known each other. Even then, it was never like this. She never looked so broken, and it never pierced his heart this hard. This was his fault. She was crying because of him and him alone. 

That broke him.

"AA… Aradia wait! Where are you going?" He was answered only by the slamming of the door. 

"Fucking hell! Great job Captor A++. Girl of your dreams tells you she loves you and you make her run away in tears." He punched the table, all the silverware and making a little clanking noise as he did. The tiny release of anger wasn’t nearly enough of an outlet though. Sollux got up to go after her, grabbing both of their coats as he left.

Eventually he found her in the back of one of their favorite coffee shops. She was all balled in on herself, keeping her head down to avoid eye contact with others. He had no idea what to say to make things right. Could he make things right.

Aradia looked at him and she listened to him, looking at him before she looked down at the hot cocoa. She watched as the waitress set down a glass of water. In silence, Aradia grabbed the glass, sipped it once, before splashing the rest of it in his face. She set down the glass and listened as the rest of the cafe gasped and stared in shock. She sat the before she said “I’d been about 30 times this glass of water to compare to all the tears you’ve made me cry over the years, Sollux Captor.”

She sat there and set down her legs, glaring, now angry “How can you treat me like you do? I cook, clean, I do everything around the house! I even put my life on the line for your ass to live, and what do you do? You take me for granted, you verbally abuse me, and you make me feel less of a person-as a weapon!” She started crying again and she wiped her eyes, trying to get them to stop. “And throughout this all, I fall in love with you!”

She then sobbed again and covered her face “You hurt me so bad…and I fall in love with you…I was raised better than that yet I can’t stop myself…” Then she looked at him, and she said the most vital question of their relationship:

Besides, he had it coming. He only had himself to blame.

He removed his glasses to dry them off on his shirt before sliding them back on and looking her straight in the eye. "In the entire ten years I've known you, I can't think of a single moment when I didn't love you more than life itself."

He leaned back in his chair, shrugging. "But that doesn't matter though, right? Because I have somehow managed to shove my head so far up my ass that I didn't even notice how shitty I was treating you. So I can sit here and ramble on about all the reasons I love you, but it won't make up for squat. I am the most microscopic of dicks to literally everyone, and you got caught in the crossfire. You've never done anything to deserve that."

His hands were shaking now, and he had to put his hands in his lap under table to keep it from being visible. "You can call the school and tell them you want one of those new meisters you were talking about. Maybe then you won't have to keep racking up your soul count. Just... if they spout a fraction of the shit I put you through, kick their ass for me."

He stood up and set her coat on the table. "Next time you decide to go running out in the middle of winter, take this. You'll freeze yourself to death."

And with that, Sollux turned and left the cafe, wondering why the hell he was walking away.

Usually Sollux didn’t mind the silence, especially during meals. It was kind of nice actually. However, the elephant in the room of the ominous ‘we need to talk’ statement made it a little less comfortable than usual.

When Aradia finally spoke, he didn’t really think much of it. “Because of my drop-dead good looks and sparkling personality?” he offered nonchalantly, stabbing at a piece of waffle. 

He waited for her to make a jab back at him, continuing the weird semi-platonic flirting thing they do all too often. She didn’t say anything. Sollux waited longer. She still didn’t say anything.

"Oh...You weren't kidding?"

That broke her. She literally felt her heart cracking before it broke with an audible *kch!*. She stopped cleaning and she wiped her eyes, she whispered "I-...I gotta go." And she hurried out of the kitchen, into the living room, then out the door. She had left her coat and all else behind...it seemed she didn't care for those things.

With tears in her eyes, she hurried up to the Coffee Shop to get some warmth and to hide from everything and one...especially Sollux. She sat down in the far back, where a light bulb was out, and she silently cried to herself. Her hand over her mouth, her eyes shut tight, and tears rolling down and hitting her glass of hot cocoa. But she didn't care...

Had Sollux ever seen her cry before? Maybe once or twice in the years upon years that they had known each other. Even then, it was never like this. She never looked so broken, and it never pierced his heart this hard. This was his fault. She was crying because of him and him alone. 

That broke him.

"AA... Aradia wait! Where are you going?" He was answered only by the slamming of the door. 

"Fucking hell! Great job Captor A++. Girl of your dreams tells you she loves you and you make her run away in tears." He punched the table, all the silverware and making a little clanking noise as he did. The tiny release of anger wasn't nearly enough of an outlet though. Sollux got up to go after her, grabbing both of their coats as he left.

Eventually he found her in the back of one of their favorite coffee shops. She was all balled in on herself, keeping her head down to avoid eye contact with others. He had no idea what to say to make things right. Could he make things right.

And then he remembered it was all her doing that he couldn’t even have honey in the first place.

Honey.

And then he remembered it was all her doing that he couldn't even have honey in the first place.

He had always found baths kind of awkward. What are you supposed to do, just sit there in your own dirt water? Or herb water in this case. He rolled his eyes, swearing up and down that it looked like she was trying to make soup out of him. 

Baths aren't nearly as fun when you don't have someone to splash. One awkward, yet refreshing bath later, Sollux emptied the bath and stepped out. A true pity he didn't need help, he would have simply adored making Aradia come in and help him.

Usually Sollux didn't mind the silence, especially during meals. It was kind of nice actually. However, the elephant in the room of the ominous 'we need to talk' statement made it a little less comfortable than usual.

When Aradia finally spoke, he didn't really think much of it. "Because of my drop-dead good looks and sparkling personality?" he offered nonchalantly, stabbing at a piece of waffle. 

He waited for her to make a jab back at him, continuing the weird semi-platonic flirting thing they do all too often. She didn't say anything. Sollux waited longer. She still didn't say anything.

A dozen different outcomes and their likelihoods zipped through his mind, and by the time Aradia asked him to get the door, he was terrified. Sollux got up, slid his glasses on and went to answer the door.

He was fully prepared to open the door and snap 'go bug someone else, dickweed'. It was only when he opened his mouth to curse them out that he realized it was a little girl with a wagon of cookies. Sollux grabbed his wallet off the table by the door, deciding to indulge the kid. He got the weird obscure cranberry cookies Aradia seemed to like, and a box of Shortbreads. She liked to tease him or his boring taste in cookies, but dipped in honey it was fucking delicious. 

If the phone hadn't rang, there was no doubt in Sollux's mind that he would have leaned down and kissed her. There was just no turning down that kind of perfect opportunity. If he had to take his pick of how to confess his feelings, it would definitely be via something like this. Dorky and little effort involved. Huge romantic gestures seemed too emotionally painful and exhausting. 

He frowned down at the tray in disgust. Not in disgust at the food, but disgust at the idea of food. He had the perpetual feeling that bile was about to make its way up his protein chute, and the last thing he wanted to do was fuel its fire. 

"AA, I'm-" he started in a scratchy voice. Combined with his slight lisp, Sollux sounded absolutely ridiculous. "Not... hungry.." That last part was muttered to himself, as his Weapon had already made her way out the door. 

He rolled his eyes, triggering a migraine and ultimately a huge mistake, and grabbed the piece of toast, examining it thoroughly. It was weird. Aradia never put honey on anything. She actually threw a fit everytime he ate it himself. Maybe she was just being sweet because he was sick. 

His weapon partner on the other hand could see human souls, kishin souls, witch souls,dead and/or dying soul energy: you name it. Even though their team could pick up on more diverse soul wave lengths than any average team, Sollux still felt like a shit meister.

Terezi however relied on seeing human souls just to live her everyday life. She was amazing. He was too much of a prick to ever admit that, but she honestly was. 

He watched her 'look' around the city from the entrance of the Academy, amazed at how a single person could do that, when she whipped around and almost ran straight into him. 

Sollux's eye sight was downright awful. The world looked like a water color painting down by a three year old without his glasses. How his best friend managed to look completely flawless even without clear-cut boundaries and details was beyond him. 

He couldn't even remember when he developed a crush on her. She had always managed to elicit the warm fuzzy feeling in his gut, even when he was being a cold asshole. Sollux probably always loved her.