My Kids, My World

This is long overdue, but I feel like I am starting to forget small details and I really want to make sure I have it written down somewhere.  Josie’s birth was very similar to Addy’s, except that I went into labor in the evening, and had her early in the morning on December 9th.

So the day I went into labor was a busy one.  We had gone grocery shopping, finished our coffee table ottoman, and then decided to take a walk to the park.  It was an unusual December day for Texas.  It might have been in the low forties outside, but we got all bundled up and ventured out to the park.  On the way back we got about 15 feet from our front door and I stopped.  It had felt like my water had broken slightly.  Not fully, but slightly.  I called the doctor and the nurse told me to lie on my side for an hour and then stand up. Tony busily got the house picked up, put all the bags in the car, and Addy bathed.  When I stood up nothing happed, so I just assumed it was not time, but I took one step and gush.

My last birth went very fast once my water broke fully, so we rushed to the hospital and they got us checked in.  The nurse didn’t even test me before getting me all changed and hooked up to monitors.  We were all very sure that my water had broken.  One problem was that my family lives about 3 hours away and the roads were iced over at the time.  Since it was already 9:00 we had Addy with us in her pack n play in the room.  Of course she was not interested in sleeping.  Tony and I were both exhausted from the full day we had just had and were praying she would calm down and sleep a little.

My contractions did not pick up quickly enough, so I was put on Pitocin.  I tried to fight it, but progress was not being.  I knew once they started the Pitocin, I was not going to make it very long without the epidural.  I waited until around Midnight, and I was having a little trouble breathing through the contractions (my lungs were just too tight), and asked to for epidural.  At this point I was at 4 Cm 75%.  I had come in at 3cm 75%.  I got the epidural at 1 am with my daughter and husband sitting in front of me. 

At 2 my parents and brother FINALLY arrived to pick Addy up.  This was exactly what we needed.  Tony and I were then able to get some MUCH needed sleep.  The nurses came to check on me at 3 and there hadn’t been much progress I was still at 4cm. The doctor came in to check on me and what do you know I had another fore sac of water!  I should have known this is why I wasn’t progressing!  The doctor popped the sac and around 4:50 the nurses came in and check and it was GO TIME!!  I guess I am just destined to always have the second water sac.

I had always had a love hate relationship with my FuzziBunz diapers. They fit so nice and trim, but they NEVER hold enough pee.  Apparently the newer Elites are much better.  The ones I have came with Minky inserts and they don't even hold 4oz of liquid.  The crotch is also too narrow and causes them to leak any time they are wet and sat on.  I reached a point where I was changing Addy every 1.5 hours when she was in them.  This was with them double stuffed with a Thirsties doubler, or a Hemp Babies doubler.  Even though these made up 2/3 of my stash, I had had enough!

I knew I was going to need to increase the size of my stash for baby number 2, so I set out to find a better diaper.  I had read excellent things about the Thirsties brand, so that is where I started.  I bought one duo cover and one duo fab insert to try. The great thing about Thirsties is the leg gussets, they are supposed to stop most leaks.  I was so excited to try it out I went ahead and boiled the insert to prep it quickly.  The first thing I noticed was that it was much trimmer than my FuzziBunz and BumGenius diapers.  It fit great under her clothing and she seemed very comfortable. The diaper was on Addy for 3 hours and never leaked!  When I did finally change her the diaper was crazy heavy.  I also loved not having to un-stuff the wet diapers!

The trouble for me came with the poop.  I didn't find the insert easy to spray off and neither was the cover.  It wasn't terrible, but definitely not as easy as spraying off my pocket diapers.  Since the poo factor is pretty big for me I decided to try the Thirsties Duo Diaper, which is their pocket diaper. It came with the same kind of insert I had bought for the cover and the pocket opened at each end of the diaper.  The diaper was just as absorbent as the cover and insert, and you still didn't have to unstuff the wet diapers since the insert agitates out in the wash.  The pro was that it was WAY easier to clean the poop off.

There is one caveat to the Thirsties diapers, which works great for parents with two in cloth, but maybe not so much for parents with only one.  You have to by two sizes to get your child through potty training.  I actually like this better, since the size ones are very trim, and they will not be as bulky under newborn clothes as my FB and BG diapers.

I did buy more of the covers and inserts, but also bought a bunch of the pockets.  These are GREAT diapers, and they are also much cheaper than BG and FB.  I got aplix mostly and only a couple snap, mainly because they are easier and fit better.  So far the velcro has lasted very well.  Thirsties recommends putting them in the dryer for a couple minutes to liven up the aplix if it stops sticking.  I have done this for my BG diapers twice in a year and it works like a charm.

About two months ago Addy started laughing every time I would say "NO."  She would just sit there and giggle.  I would get frustrated and say it louder, but it never seemed to make any difference.  After a day of getting laughed at I decided that I need to find another way of handling these types of situations. 

So I hit the internet to see how other people handled this kind of thing.  There were many suggestions from time out to tapping her hand.  I am not ready to put Addy in time-out, mainly because I really don't think it would have any effect on her.  I think it would cause more harm than good at this point and until she can vocalized and talk to me about what she did wrong, we will not be using time-out with her.  As for tapping her on the hand, I know that works for a lot of parents, but I view this type of punishment as a last resort, so that was out of the question.

I finally came across a very helpful post about not using the word "No."  Yes we have all seen this approach to parenting mocked on TV.  I laughed at is myself when Modern Family was making fun of it, but when it is done right it can be so effective.  This brings me to this article.  There are a ton out there that talk about this, and this is just one that I enjoyed reading.  I am not going to go into depth, but I am going to tell you our success story.

So once I had decided to stop saying "no," I realized I said it WAY more that I thought I did.  No wonder Adelai thought it was funny, it had started to lose all meaning in our house.  The day after I did my research Addy was running away from me again and I stopped and said "Adelai, can you please be helpful right now and come to Mama so I can put your shoes on?"  She stopped for a second turned around and cam right to me.  

The "Helpful Trick" was in another article I had read.  They said to use different words that the child associates with good deeds.  For instance, Addy loves to help around the house.  She helps empty the dishwasher, put clothes away, and put groceries away.  I don't even care if she doesn't do it right, I just get really excited and say "thank you so much for being helpful."  So this word seemed to be a great fit for saying no in a positive way.  I feel like I say the word helpful a lot, but for some reason when she hears it, she stops and listens to me.

We also do a lot more making fun of the situation.  So if she is playing in the dog bowl I go over and pick her up and in a funny voice I say "Would you want the doggies playing in your water?" She always responds with "No," while giggling, to which I say "why don't we go play with your baby or zoo instead?" and as soon as I put her down she goes straight to her baby or zoo and starts to play. 

I really don't believe toddlers do things they know they are not supposed to do.  I think they see something like the dogs water bowl and think hmm that looks like fun, and don't even think about the fact that they have been told not to play in it on several occasions. I have to keep telling myself that things really don't stick until they have heard you say something about 10-20 times.  

The last part of this is giving your child control over different situations.  When kids feel out of control, they tend to act out or do things that they wouldn't normally do.  We have added choices into every part of our day.  Addy gets to choose juice or milk with breakfast, she decides between two outfits to wear for the day, which shoes she wants, what show she wants to watch at TV time (Curious George or Dora), what she eats at snack time when we are at the house, what books we read at bed time and which one we read first, and a lot of times she even decides between two colors for which diaper she wants.  All of these decisions have given her a sense of control over her life.  I have noticed that she is much more confident than she was a month ago.

Since I mentioned this in my last post, I felt that this would be a good post to start with.  Below is a speech development chart I got from Bright Horizons Speech Therapy website.

As you can see most children say Mama and Dada consistently by the age of 1, then by 18 months they should be saying 10-15 words consistently. 

When I went in for Adelai's 12 month check the doctor asked me if she was saying any words yet, and the answer was no.  He then asked if she babbled a lot at home, to which I said "no" again. Addy has always been a very quite child, she doesn't cry or fuss a lot and never really cooed very much as an infant.  Her doctor said not to worry, that she would start developing her speech eventually.  

One of the things we have done with Addy is sign language.  I was convinced that it would delay her speech, but we got to a point where she needed to be able to communicate, and signing was the only way to to get her to.  She signs quite a few words, but has always been reluctant to say the words.

Well we decided to let her develop her speech in her own time, and if she was ready she would just start talking.  By the time her 18 month check up came along she was only saying "More" consistently.  We rarely heard Mama or Dada, and when she did say them it was more like a babble than anything else.

So, my husband took her to her 18 month well check and the doctor asked the same questions again and was much more surprised this time to hear that she was only saying 1-3 words consistently.  He recommended getting her hearing checked, just to be safe.  If the hearing check went well, we should take her to see a speech therapist to get an evaluation done.  

I am not going to lie, I was a little worried at this point.  How could she have trouble hearing?  She always pays attention when we read books, she follows directions perfectly, and she always turns when I said her name.  But, at this point she had started babbling more, and she sometimes sounded like she said things, but they would be very garbled, as though when she heard them they were muffled.

I went ahead and set up an appointment with an audiologist just to be safe and to calm my ever growing fear that something may be wrong.  Addy actually really enjoyed the test, they set off different noises in the sound booth and if she looked at them, mechanical animals would move around.  I sat there analyzing every head jerk and worried every time she didn't acknowledge a sound.  When we came out of the booth the doctor said everything seemed fine.  Relief flowed through my body!

So if her hearing was fine, what was causing this delay in speech?  So my husband and I talk and decided it would be best to set up an evaluation with a speech therapist, just to get an idea of where she was at. I want to note that we were not planning to start speech therapy unless she needed it at 2 years.  I felt like she was still too young to say she had a problem, but I wanted to get a base line so if we needed to get her checked at 2 we had something to go off of.

Well it was going to take us a month to get in with the speech therapist we had chosen, and in the mean time I had decided to try and push her along myself.  I know my child, and I know how stubborn she can be.  I also know that she is a perfectionist and doesn't really like to do things until she can do them well.  

One day I decided I was no longer going to let my mother's intuition respond to her "uhs" and "da's." If she wanted something, she either needed to sign it or say the words. Thus began the tantrums.  I would sit on the floor and she would point and scream.  I would calmly say "Adelai, can you tell me what you want with your words or your hands?" and she would scream some more.  I would then say "can you please calm down and tell me what you want?" then "it is hard to understand you when you yell,  can you please use a calm voice".  It could take up to 3 minutes for her to finally calm down and sign milk.

Why did it take this much effort to get her to communicate??  At this point I thought she knew the words to say and how to say them, she was just being stubborn.  One day when she had finished her dinner I asked her if she was finished and she signed "all done."  I then asked her to say "down."  This was the first time I had expected her to say a word that I had never heard her say.  I said it very slowly and she responded by signing "please."  I said "can you please say down and I will get you out of your chair." She then cried for about a minute, then said "DOWN!"  My husband and I went nuts with encouragement! I knew she could say words!

The evaluation with the speech therapist approached and our method seemed to be working.  Her vocabulary had boomed in two weeks time. But she would only talk to us, not at school and not in public.  Every once in a while I could get her to say "bye bye" at school.  

Her teacher wrote an evaluation for the therapy session, which said that Addy was more of an observer than a talker.  That she preferred signing to speaking, and that she rarely made many noises.  The evaluation went amazingly.  The child in that room was not my kid.  She was talkative and made a lot of sounds.  Said words I had never heard her say before and just wowed the therapists.  They said that she was developing normally, but was definitely behind for her age group.  This is one of those things kids do in their own time, but that she is perfectly capable of forming speech.  They did recommend that we come back for two more sessions, more to give me some ideas to help her than anything else.

So through this whole ordeal Addy went from having a vocabulary of 1-3 words at 18 months to upwards of 20-30 words at 20 months!  I never imagined I could be this patient with her, but she has taught me more in this past two months that I think I taught her.  She has taught me that being consistent and patient yield much better results than getting frustrated easily.  That it is okay for your child to cry sometimes if it is helping them learn essential skills.  Lastly, that nothing beats the look of satisfaction on her face when she does say something perfectly and we go totally nuts over it.  That look has made every tantrum and every tear worth it.

I know I have been absent for a while now, but life has been speeding past so fast that I rarely get a chance to breath anymore.  Baby girl is now 20 months old and finally starting to talk!  I will post more on this later, because it really has been and ordeal for us.  She is still the sweetest, smartest, amazing baby girl.

In April we found out that we were expecting baby number two, and that same day I was offered two jobs!  Our lives have been so blessed up to this point, and it can only be the work of God.  So, I went back to work full-time at the end of May, and Addy started Daycare full-time.  She adjusted amazingly.  Luckily we had her in there one day a week, then increased the time each week until I started working.

Weaning Process Continued

The one thing I really wanted for my daughter was for her to self-wean.  I would have loved for her to be the one to decided when she is ready to be done.  She is now 14 months old and I have realized that I will have to wean her if we want to have another baby.  We tried taking her down to one time a day before bedtime, but it is just not working :(  So here I am doing something I really didn't want to do: weaning Addy in my time.  

I knew this was going to be hard, but I did not expect the emotional toll is is taking on me. I have been decreasing her nighttime nursing time by 2 minutes a night. Tonight she was only allowed to nurse for 12 minutes.  When I unlatched her she screamed for what seemed like 15 minutes(it was probably more like 5).  While she screamed I was in tears.  I feel like I am the meanest mommy ever. I know that guilt comes along with weaning and that most women feel it, but I didn't know I was gong to feel this bad.

I am trying to savor every last moment! What sucks is that I am not really ready for her to wean.  I still really enjoy our bedtime nursing time.  It is one of the few times during the day where she will sit still and cuddle. Today I was in tears just pulling her off.  This is something I will never get back, this is the end to a huge and wonderful part of our mommy-daughter relationship.  

So my pediatrician told me a while ago that we didn’t need to feed Addy at night, and that is why I started to try the no-cry sleep solution. Well we had actually gotten her to stop nursing at night around the middle of August. It took a month and a half of fairly sleepless nights to get to that point. Addy was only waking up twice a night, and only nursing in the morning. To some of you this probably sounds awful, but to me it was the best sleep I had gotten in months! We were doing so well, until I got West Nile Virus, and Addy decided that she wanted to nurse at night again at the same time. Now WN gave me such serious headaches that I was taking ibuprofen around the clock and it still didn’t get rid of them fully. So Addy ended up back in bed with us and nursing through he night again. Ugh I had worked so hard to end the cycle an here we were again. After a week of doing this she was back in her old routine again!

So here we are, she is nearly 14 months old, and I decided that the no-cry method was going to take too long. So last Sunday I cut her off cold turkey from night and morning feedings. She cried for a long time the first and second nights, then she didn’t expect it anymore. I had tried this in the past, but she would cry for 3 hours straight, night after night. This time it worked! She has also started sleeping better too! There have been a couple nights where she only woke up once. The only thing I need to get used to is the 5:30 wake up. Since we are not nursing in the morning I can no longer use my boob a snooze button.

Cloth Diapering!

Finally I have gotten around to posting about cloth diapers!  It feels like we never used disposables.  I have been cloth diapering for almost 6 months, and I am completely hooked.  I don't think I will ever go back to disposables for so many reasons, which I will state at the end.  

I read a lot about getting into a good wash routine, and I feel like I have.  This is what I do:

After a diaper change I pull out the insert and wrap it in the diaper with the wipes then I toss everything into the wet sack

If she pooped I first toss the insert and wipes into the wet sack, then I spray the poo into the toilet with my handy sprayer, wring out the diaper, and toss it in the wet sack

I wash the diapers every other night after I get Addy down.  I literally grab the wet sac by the handle and push all of the dirty diapers into the washing machine without touching any nasties.

We have an LG washer and I wash everything on Normal Hot/Cold, Second to top soil level, Pre-Wash, and Extra rinse.  I used the Rocking Green Hard detergent (I think I am going to go for unscented next time though, not a huge fan)

 Once the wash is done I hang all of the diapers on lines in our laundry room and all of the inserts and wipes go in the dryer on med-high for 40 minutes with a dry beach towel

In the morning, I stuff the diapers while we eat breakfast

It seems like a lot, but it is actually REALLY easy.  

Now I said I would never go back, but I did switch back when Addy got the Stomach Flu and the cloth diapers just couldn't contain the poo.  So she was in disposables for a week and I am so glad we are back in cloth now. 

As for brand, there are a ton out there and each of them fit differently.  My stash includes 14 FuzziBunz(Right) and 7 BumGenius(Left).  I love the FB because they are slim fitting and she seems to be able to move more easily in them.  The BG are great for going out, nap time, and overnight, since they hold way more pee.  I change Addy every hour and a half to two hours during the day when she is in FB, but a BG can last almost 3 hours.  The BG are a lot bigger, but the excellent part about them is that they come in velcro, so it makes changing her really easy, especially when you are out an about.  I wish they made perfect fit inserts for the BG, and I have considered making my own, because the one size insert really adds a lot of bulk and makes clothing fit snug.

I made my own cloth wipes out left over flannel scraps I had.  They are basically just two pieces of flannel sewed together with a connected zigzag stich.  I did buy 10 Swaddlebees wipes that are wooly on one side and velvety on the other.  They are great for poopy diapers!  It is so much easier using cloth wipes when you are cloth diapering, because they get thrown in the wet sack with the diaper, so you don't have to think about throwing anything away.  I had to use disposable wipes during the Stomach Flu and they seemed so thin I thought I was constantly touching poo!  The cloth wipes are really thick, so I never touch anything!

As for daycare, ours loves that we cloth diaper.  The only thing is that I have to send her with the BG, because they have a hard time keeping up with the leaks from the FB.

So since we have started cloth diapering, Addy has gotten NO diaper rash!!!!  When we were using disposable she was getting it at least once a week.  We sprinkle baby powder on her bum with every diaper change and her skin stays smooth and soft!

Here are the reasons I will stick with cloth:

No more poop blowouts! (The only time was when she had the flu)

So much cheaper than disposables.  (We spent about $200 up front for our stash, and were spending $60 per month on disposables)

No more diaper rash

No chemicals

No more smelly diaper trash

Way less waste!

Water bill only went up by about $6 a month

I can’t believe that it has been a whole year since I was sitting in a group meeting panicking about loosing a very important file, while my group members worried the stress my send me into labor. Sure enough you came the next day! This past year has been the best of my life! You have brought so much joy and happiness into our small family. It is amazing to think about how much you have changed in the past year.

These past two months have been full of more change and development. You started WALKING on the day before your 1st birthday!!!! It was really cool. Once your Daddy got home you just started walking all over the living room. Grammy was very excited to get to see it too. Not only did you start walking, by you also started standing up in the middle of the floor at the same time. It took you a couple of weeks to get the hang of it, then you just took off right before Christmas!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family in San Antonio. Daddy made an amazing turkey and everyone loved it! It was so fun to see you play with your cousins over the week. We went back down for Christmas too, and you had even more fun with them, since you could walk. We took a cousin picture and you were SO happy to be included with the big kids.

Your first birthday party was so much fun, we made it 50’s themed. You love rock and roll music so we played it during the party and had 50’s diner food for lunch. You loved your cake and ate quite a bit of it. I made you a poodle skirt and sewed a sequin “A” on a white onesie, and you also wore black leggings. It was sooo cute!

I was determined to get a picture of you with Santa, but it just didn’t happen. You were just not having any of it. We tried twice and the second time we just took a family picture him. He brought you a baby doll for Christmas! You are starting to understand how to play with it, but are still more interested in other toys. You love the Radio Flyer bike Grammy and Papa got you for your Birthday, and you have figured out how to use the cymbals in the band in a box we got you. You LOVE the ball pit that we got you for your birthday. It was a last minute addition to your gifts because you loved playing in Brayden’s so much.

You have started saying more words like "Ba" for bath, "na" for nap, and "yeah." Mostly you are still just babbling, but I know you know what you are saying, and soon we will too. You nod your head when we say yes and shake it where we say no. You are also starting to answer questions this way too, which it really cool. I can ask you if you are done and you will shake your head yes or no. You point with your whole hand at things that you want. When you want us to follow you, you will say “Ga” and stare at us until we do. It has been so much fun watching your communication skills develop.

Sleep is still something you have a hard time with. You will wake up about 3 times a night on average and want to nurse. I have started the process of stopping our middle of the night nursing sessions. This is going to be a long arduous process, but we really want you to have a brother or sister soon and if you keep nursing the way you do, it will never happen!

We took our first long car ride up to Lubbock for New Years and you did really well. We put a bunch of movies on the iPad and you actually watched them. You loved Horton Hears A Who and The Muppets. You got sick while we were there and proceeded to pass it to everyone!

You still eat just about everything, and your favorite is still black beans. One thing that is great is that when you get hungry you go into the kitchen and wait for me to get you something. You only want to nurse when you are sleepy. When it is time for a meal you will try to climb into your highchair.

You love music!  You dance whenever you hear music playing.  When Sesame Street comes on in the morning you get excited when you hear the theme music.  You pretty much love all music.

Sorry for the long absence, our family has been very busy with well family.  I have also been knee deep in my job search.  But I had to make it back eventually, so please bear with the next 10 posts that are pretty much just catching up.  This is essentially my baby book so the posts are necessary.

So my sweet baby girl is 11 months old!!  I can't believe we are one month away form 1!  You have just blossomed over the past two months.  I feel like you are growing and doing new things daily.  You love to eat!  You eat EVERYTHING, but your favorites are black beans, anything spicy, eggs, chicken and avocado, all fruit (but only from a spoon), mac & cheese, PB&J, and the muffins I made for you.  It is so much fun to sit down to dinner and see you explore new food every day.  I made creamy avocado enchiladas two nights ago and you couldn't get enough of the stuffing. It also helps that you have you first two teeth now! They just popped up in the past two weeks!  

You still love to nurse.  My attempts at get you you to nurse only 3-4 times a day have failed miserably.  I guess that second baby can wait.  I don't really mind too much though since it is the only time you will cuddle with me.  You are constantly moving around the house.  I love to watch you explore every day.  Grammy and Papa got you a walking toy and you push that thing around the house until you get stuck, then look at me like "aren't you going to move my walker?"  

You started to say Mama about a month ago and have said Dada once, but seem unwilling to say it any more.  You an waived for the first time to you Grandma Lupita, and I think you made her cry a little.  I think the most fun thing you have started to do is clap though.  You clap when you are happy, sad, or just having a good time.  

You love music.  I started to play different Pandora stations all the time and I think you favorite is oldies rock.  I even made you some shakers out of old spice jars and a sprinkles and you will shake them to the rhythm of the music.  You will even dance a little to some music.  It is just the cutest thing!

We took you out to College Station for your very first Fighting Texas Aggie Tailgate!  Even though you are very small and didn't really understand how awesome it is there, it was still fun to take you to the place we met and experience that with you.  You even got to take a nap in the new MSC!

As far as toys go, you mastered the light up stacking toy a couple weeks ago.  One day you were determined to figure it out and you did.  It was so cool to see you try and try then get it.  You love your walking push toy, but you favorite part of it is the barn door that says "Peek-A-Boo" when you open it.  You are figuring out how to get all of the doors to open on your Busy Poppin' Pals pop up toy.  I think you have almost figured out how to turn the key one.

You are now able to stand for a very long time, and you will shake toys all around while standing as well.  Last week, you took three steps in a row toward me!  but you haven't shown a lot of interest since then.  I have a feeling you are just going to take off in a couple weeks.

Last weekend you got to spend some quality alone time with Grammy and Papa.  It was the first time we left you somewhere other than daycare!  You have so much fun playing with them and you even started to play Peek-A-Boo with Papa!  You would lift a blanket in from of your face and pull it down really fast!

Yesterday was your first Halloween!  We went Trick-Or-Treating with Erica, Brian, and Brayden.  You went as a Panda Bear.  I pieced together your costume using a long sleeve black onesie with black leggings, then I pulled a white onesie over the leggings and rolled it down under your arms.  The ears came from D.C. when we visited in May.  You looked so adorable!  When we finished you sat and pulled all of your candy out of ou little box and ate a DumDum.  It actually turned into a pretty cool sensory exercise since the wrappers all made different noises and you could shake the boxes.