Dorsia

Its always just me, it's always only been just me Completely alone in the world I wonder why Flesh covered jelly objects that speak to me and move limbs How do you operate Why are my eyes broken Black sunken holes in my face you can't detect light I reach out into the space in front of me grabbing at the air, I walk around and crash into all the hard objects in my way Bruised and sore and desperate and scared to move Where are you tiny light Where did you go When I knew you existed all the blackness made sense Back to my ground state My base state Ahhh it feels like home it feels so familiar like a horrible deserted wasteland stinking of shit This is where I find myself waiting with open arms How do I survive here with no water no food no sun no oxygen no company I suppose like every other time

When was the moment u decided to lose your mind When was the moment u decided to end your life Dark cataclysmic events you feel like the world is caving in Anxiety like electricity bouncing through your skeleton Depression like blinding cataracts When did it take your mind How many hours did the world beneath your skin burn like acid How long have you writhed in pain When did u write your suicide note When did u start hyperventilating When did the world begin to spin You need the colour and the warmth of a good woman Like a colourful flower, soft skin you can feel the warmth and love from her flowing hair Don't kill yourself

You were always wet Sitting at the base of the shower enjoying the hot water Pouring water over yourself enjoying the heat in the sauna Young succulent wet lips and young skin didn't mirror what was within Trying to drown yourself hoping you'd melt down the drain Trying to suffocate yourself in the steam removing all the oxygen Hot wet sex you violently fuck me tearing at my flesh as if you were trying to find something within me Covered in bruises and bleeding we'd both come to the realisation that nothing was there Desperate boy with a dark past and black broken soul I only wanted to help But I only broke you because I have no real love within me to give Find happiness, don't waste your life and gifts Ill be ok as a wandering nomad

Does anyone else ever miss themselves so much. Like there might be someone out there that could make you feel understood in the world but you just fucking wish yourself felt like you again so you could be yourself.

Hi sorry this is the first time I've ever checked my messages, i didn't even know you could get messages on here. I don't really understand you but thanks I guess x

Class

Parents

Biology

I sat there in silence staring into the blackness of my room. I used to be afraid of the dark like I'd see a figure standing there or hear a suspicious sound. But I no longer fear anything outside myself, nothing can be worse than the deafening loneliness inside my mind like it encapsulates an entire universe of only me.

I hate the world. I hate its hypocrisy, its cruel demands to survive a life you didn't even ask to have to live. I hate its sharp jagged rocks and its rough hard blunt ground. I hate its ugly stupid vermin that crawl the earth. I hate its bitter resentment that plagues the mind and  slowly eats away at the skin. I hate the filth, the shit the grime the mold the trash. I hate the banana peel squashed into the crevice of the couch covered in dirt and hair.

Controlled

I wish I could go back to my home planet and find an alien husband. He will be blue with green hair and we won’t speak the same language but he’ll teach me. We’ll have a connection even without talking, the way human men and women do, we’ll hold hands and just smile at each other because we think each other are perfect.