awake! awake!

Her mother continued on to explain that there was someone else that would protect her. Even if she was all alone. Janei gasped at that, to think that she would always be looked after, but without anyone there was rather scary for her to think about. Jesus was definitely a friend of her mummy though, the way she always talked to him during the day, and before she went to sleep. 

"Mummy? Will Jesus ever visit us? I’d really like to meet him." She asked sweetly, watching her mother pull the cup from the microwave. "Magic milk!" She exclaimed, jumping slightly a couple of times. Being in the kitchen with her mother really was calming her down, and she was starting to feel sleepy again. 

At her daughter's question, she couldn't help but feel a bit overwhelmed. "Jesus is always here, baby. Just because we can't see him doesn't mean he isn't there." It was difficult to explain in such a way, without trying to scare her. "If you want to meet him, the next time we go to church, I'll let the Father tell you all about him, him and Jesus are very good friends." She nodded and bent down to pick up her daughter. 

mmh… must’ve caught the bug one of the maid’s had [ He lay his head down and blinked at her ] Nah, it’s okay mum… It’ll go away.

Oh… [ He sighed.] Dad takes things too seriously, mum… You know he can’t take a joke.  Like Uncle Tywin. [ Then, he added softly] Only Willem got my jokes..

Dorna looked at her son, it'll go away, he said, and it set her at ease, if only a little bit. She rested a hand on her leg as she sat by her reclined son.] I know, he had just...He was very serious about it. You shouldn't joke about those things, Martyn. 

I just worry about you, you're always out, and I don't know where you are, and since the city had been attacked...and- [She inhaled sharply, regaining control of her escalating emotions. Calming herself down, she smiled softly at her son.] I should let you rest, hmm? [Her mind did not connect his use of the dual pronoun. We...it had always been used, in the past, but Dorna wouldn't cross him on it, or anything of that sort. She knew her son was still hurting, and would probably always be hurting in one way or another. That hurt her the most. That there was never going to be anything she could do to help her son.

message: i’ll let you know when i’ll stop by in a few weeks

message: mum, i’m sorry

message: no i could not have been. why is it so hard to understand that i want to be at my own place right now?

message: sorry

message: hi mum, i just wanted to let you know that i went back to oxford early this morning

Mostly he just ends up mushing everything together, but Lancel doesn’t really mind. It’s even more ice cream than he thought he would get! He’s glad that Mum is feeding the twigs. He gives her a look, trying to decide if she can do it alone, or if she needs his help. He likes helping her, but he also likes eating his ice cream. If he thinks about it, he likes ice cream even more than he likes helping his mother with his little brothers. He hopes that’s alright.

"It’s cold!" He giggles around a spoonful of ice cream. He looks puzzled though when Mum takes the twigs’ bowls away. They simply have to be broken if they don’t like ice cream. He scrunches up his face in confusion when he hears Mum say sorry to them. What for? She didn’t break any of their things. And the ice cream didn’t do anything bad to them either.

She gives her sunflower a smile, watching him responsibly put sprinkles on his sundae. It doesn't bother her too much that he's putting more than she would on it. He's still a babe, not that much in control of his reflexes. "Of course, Lancel. It's ice cream." She puts emphasis on the ice in the word, drawing it out with a shiver in her voice.

"Their teeth are still coming in, and ice cream is sometimes too cold for them. It hurts their gums." She says as she washes out the bowls, making it easier for the maid to do it later. She would've done them right then and there, but Lancel is as time consuming as his little brothers still. And of course, that's completely alright with Dorna. 

Walking back to the table, she sits down next to her son, "I also think they should go down for a nap in abit. We can't have them up all afternoon. It'll help them get bigger and soon they'll be talking like you, as long as they get their sleep." She folds an arm on the table, and leans on one of her palms. "Oh I would like some ice cream, but I'll have mine after dinner." She smiles at Lancel. "I appreciate you helping me, Lancel. You're such a big boy now." Her voice sounds serious, but still playful. Tone is very important to children, she's discovered. 

With a satisfied smile, he turns back towards his mother. Unfortunately, what he can’t do yet is get a new bowl out of the cupboard, one that’s for dessert. Well, he has an idea of how he could reach it, but he doesn’t think Mum would be very happy with him if he pushed a chair up to the counter, and then used it to climb on top of it.

No, it’ll probably be best to wait for Mum to do it. And he doesn’t have to wait long; his mother is already taking the ice cream out of the freezer. “Yes sprinkles!” Lancel strolls over to where she is standing. It’s not that she doesn’t trust her to give him the biggest bowl of ice cream, and Willem the smallest, but… it wouldn’t hurt to make sure, would it?

Meanwhile she sets two scoops in Lancel's bowl, but they aren't full scoops. Grabbing the container with the sprinkles in it, she brings the arrangement of eatery to the table. "Lancel, since you helped out so much today, you can put some sprinkles on your ice cream." She says firmly, sprinkling some in a tea bag bowl. "Be careful, though." She reminds him, walking over to her other sons. She starts with Martyn first, giving him a small spoonful of ice cream, before twisting to do the same with Willem. 

"I’m glad," he said at last, once she’d told him how far along she was, and cautiously he dropped his hand to her stomach. He knew he wouldn’t be able to feel a thing this early on in her pregnancy, but he did know that it was his child in there and that made it a little less silly, him placing his hand there.

Seeing Kevan frown, if only a bit, troubled her. She knew what Kevan wanted, and that was a son. Dorna prayed in her mind that she would give him a son for their first child. It was only right. Though how much control she had over that, was nonexistent. She could only hope and pray that the Lord would provide for them, the child that Kevan wanted for. 

Of course, if it wasn't a boy, she hoped that wouldn't hinder their relationship, she would give him a son, no matter how many times it took, or how long. Though any daughters they had would be loved all the same. It was just difficult for her to think of her not giving her husband his son. As his wife, it was her job, she wouldn't fail at it. 

Janei took her mother’s hand, still frowning, but she knew that it would be all better soon. “Big ones, thumps and bumps." She jumped lightly once they were out of the room , trying to express exactly what she had heard. “I thought I saw something in the darkness, there are always moving shapes in the darkness mummy. Monsters coming to eat me. I can’t even scare them away because I’m too afraid." She shook her head as if she was disappointed in herself.

Dorna leaned against the counter, looking across at her daughter. "There is a man named Jesus, who will always watch over you, even if you're all alone in the dark. He is your friend, the Son of God." She smiled as she told her daughter of the wonders of Jesus and of God, something she was sure she'd heard before, but it beared repeating. 

She wanted her children to grow up in the Faith, as she had, it was only right. And Janei had been, she read her the stories of the Bible since she was in her stomach, practically as she read them to her brothers. Her getting older only meant that she should expand the knowledge within her about all things good about her religion, which, was her children's religion naturally...There wasn't an option, especially with them being this young.