Dork Fossils: vestiges of an idiot.

Well, I will never eat live culture yogurt before going to the library again. I knew talking was frowned upon there, but I guess farting Tango music is too.

"IN ALL SERIOUSNESS FOLKS" Why is it legal for any employer to drug test employees? Or even the government for that matter? How do we justify this invasion and utter loss of privacy? Because fear and ignorance shape most people's opinions. Plus, most don't even understand simple physiology and the makeup of piss. You can actually tell a lot about someone from their urine. Are you male or female? Are you on SSRIs?  Or Ambien to help you sleep? Anti-psychotic medicine possibly? What have you needed to ingest lately, anyway? If you are on medication, its none of my business, and it should be none of anyone else’s. All of these drugs can be easily found in your urine. If I have to drink a fifth of schnapps a day, shoot meth, drink magic mushroom soup, and freebase Zoloft to keep me straight and productive, that's nobody's business but between me, my doctor, BevMo, and my dealers.

Whenever I ask someone for directions on how to get somewhere, I like to end my request with, "..and make certain that I don’t come within 2 miles of any schools or I could get in big, big trouble.”

Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question was whether to kill yourself or not.  For me, that’s not a question.  You should definitely kill yourself.