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@dope-fiend-blues
Advances in Junkie Technology
Source for first photo (and title): Melody Lee is Damned
Apparently these are designed to reduce accidental sharing (as the first advert proclaims)... I would have used them to match my wardrobe, ha ha ha (well, at least back before heroin completely got its hooks into me and I didn't care if my rig had been used for weeks and was all crusty with blood)...
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An early print of Junky by William S. Burroughs, printed back-to-back with another book on drugs... by an ex-Narcotics agent!
I have learned the junk equation. Junk is not, like alcohol or weed, a means to increased enjoyment of life. Junk is not a kick. It is a way of life.
William S. Burroughs
Junky
William S. Burroughs smoking a joint. The Bunker, New York City, Â September 21, 1995. Photo by Kate Simon, 1995.
I'm feeling good, I'm feeling oh so fine Until tomorrow, but that's just some other time
The Velvet Underground
"I'm Waiting for the Man"
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Today was actually a good day... yesterday was a nightmare that I don't even want to think about... a certain person overslept and fucked up the entire chain of events for me and others. This morning I was actually able to get to the clinic early (the elusive train came on time for once) and my mate was at the coffee shop shortly thereafter. Xanax, methadone, coffee, and cigarettes are the ingredients for a perfect morning. The only irritating bit was my mate showed up dressed like a cross between Johnny Thunders and a fucking mafioso and then proceeded to nod out all over the place in front of assorted cops and creeps so I never really could relax... I kept having to make sure he didn't pour scalding coffee all over us or end up face-down in his breakfast, ha ha ha.
Just three more hours to go until that rat-fucking methadone clinic opens⌠I spent the last 20 or so hours twitching about, tossing around in the bed until the sheets were completely tangled, sneezing, the whole bit⌠The Xanax allowed me to sleep for a few hours but I had dreams the entire timeâŚ
Clock watching eh? Itâs awful innit? Especially when you force yourself not to check the time for what you THINK is 30 minutes, and then you check the damn clock and only 3 minutes have gone byâŚ
Iâve spent way too many lonely nights and bitter early mornings doing this. I feel for you mate, really do.
That clock-checking is torture... I've got to stop taking my methadone too early like that. I know exactly what you mean about thinking 30 minutes have gone by and in reality it's only been three! I swear, it's like time literally stops! For me, the last hour or two is especially awful!
The Velvet Underground
"Iâm Waiting for the Man"
I wonder why he chose an arbitrary amount of money like $26.00... nowadays that wouldn't even get my cat high... I wish I had some New York dope. The last time I was there I did it all before I got on the plane (this was Christmas 2001 and airport security had gone mental; they even x-rayed my pastrami sandwich). I got so high I threw up all over the place at the airport (in front of my ex's family) and then spilled a vodka cocktail on an old woman who was seated next to me on the plane...
The Velvet Underground
"I'm Waiting for the Man"
Just three more hours to go until that rat-fucking methadone clinic opens... I spent the last 20 or so hours twitching about, tossing around in the bed until the sheets were completely tangled, sneezing, the whole bit... The Xanax allowed me to sleep for a few hours but I had dreams the entire time that I was getting dope, getting methadone, etc. which just made waking up that much worse (horrible, horrible waste of good Xanax, by the way).Â
Three hours doesn't sound like much... and it isn't on a normal, not-sick day. Any junkie, however, will tell you that time is relative (especially when you're dealing with assholes on the subway and whatnot). Â The minutes seem like hours, and days seem like weeks...
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Time for a change...
I am going to try Ibogaine to end my addiction and failing that, It's time for rehab.
A friend of mine actually managed to kick methadone and heroin doing the ibogaine bit... I saw him doing crack shortly thereafter but, as far as I know, he has stayed off opiates. I dunno, the whole Ibogaine trip sounds a bit mental to me (not to mention really expensive) but to each his own. Do whatever you can to save your ass before it's too late...
KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND. YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT! You will not be able to see his eyes because of the Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he canât find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Dope Fiend fears nothing. He will attack, for no reason, with every weapon at his command-including yours. BEWARE. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict should use all necessary force immediately. One stitch in time (on him) will usually save nine on you. Good luck.
Hunter S . Thompson
(via methadonetemptation)
I love this book⌠Hunter S. Thompson and William S. Burroughs should be required reading for all self-respecting junkies!
(via dope-fiend-blues)
Here. Here. I totally agree! Being a junkie is no excuse for being uneducated and low class. Boom.
(via raygunandrowan)
I have read more books and have a higher I.Q. than almost anyone I know but there's still the whole idea that, if you do drugs, you must be a complete moron. In my opinion, no one has a right to say anything about drug users unless they've been there (see my post about the oh-so-informed doctors I've had to deal with: Regrets...) If you passed me on the street or had a conversation with me you wouldn't even know I was a junkie. Then again, I do have more "style" than "class", ha ha ha (Johnny Thunders reference)
I have a feeling you and I will get a long ;)
I was actually rather surprised at how different Tumblr is than the usual Facebook and whatnot (which wanted a phone number or even my "government-issued ID" to verify my account; no thanks). I enjoy your blog as well; here's to meeting fellow dopefiends, ha ha ha...
Iâve only done this on purpose a few times (and the âGerms burnâ one gets from a friend who already has one) but I have a lot of accidental burns from nodding out and dropping cigarettes on myself. There are several on my hands and arms, lots on my chest, and a horrible one in the middle of my throat (donât ask me how) that for a while made me look like Iâd had a tracheotomyâŚÂ
This is (one of the reasons) why I tend to smoke roll ups. They go out when you nod off. Less risk of burns, things catching fire etc.
I smoke roll-ups sometimes because theyâre cheaper than âready-madeâ cigarettes but usually I donât have the patience to deal with rolling papers and loose tobacco and whatnot (this can be especially problematic if one is nodding out). Iâve noticed that even ready-made cigarettes tend to go out now if youâre not continuously taking a drag off of them⌠more lovely chemical additives, no doubt.
I have the telltale nod burn scars all over too. Hot to mention, holes in Jammie pants, blankets and carpet. Tacky!!
One of my friends said he bought an entirely new wardrobe when he got on methadone (to rid his closet of everything that had burn holes or the telltale drops of blood on the sleeves); fuck, if I did that I'd lose almost all of my favorite t-shirts! It wouldn't do any good anyhow; I still drop cigarettes all the time while nodding on methadone and benzos. I did finally have to replace my favorite pair of pajama pants: there was such a huge hole in the leg/crotch area that the next dropped cigarette fell through and directly into my crotch... lemme tell ya, that was a terrible way to wake up! And I should post photos of the carpet around my favorite chair... I think the burns actually outnumber the clean spots of rug now!
Regrets...
What a fucking waste... I took enough Xanax to drop a fucking horse and I'm still sick because I did my last bit of methadone last night. Also, upon checking the facts on the last bars I got I came across this: Alprazolam 2 mg has a low potential for abuse relative to the drugs in schedule 3. Are these doctors out of their fucking minds? It reminds me of the doctor who told me kicking Xanax would just cause me to be "more anxious"... yeah, falling out in the floor in a seizure, almost shitting myself, etc. sure as fuck did make me more anxious! I've also had doctors tell me that kicking methadone  makes you "feel like you have the flu for a couple of weeks"... the reality being that you're so sick you want to kill yourself for weeks and don't feel "right" for a couple of years.Â
These doctors have no fucking idea what they're talking about. It's no wonder that in the past few years I've seen so many people come to the clinic addicted to Oxycontin because of an idiot doctor. There's one old guy who has got to be about seventy, looks like a fucking farmer, and got on methadone because he was addicted to, get this, Darvocet! Â You've gotta be kidding me... (now, of course, he's graduated to a high-ass dose).
I do, at times though, wish that I'd spent some time addicted to pills and whatnot before proceeding to the "main event". Where can you go from shooting heroin? There is no better high...
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Ohhhh i want some of that. In wich country can you get heroin prescribed without having to do it on sight ?
think itâs available by prescription in Switzerland, Denmark and the UK. Youâll have better luck if youâre already addicted.
I know that. You can get heroin to shoot up in germany as a substitute but you have to go to a special shooting gallery to do it 2-3 times a day . I was wondering if you could get heroin prescribed to take home for severe pain like cancer etcâŚ
These sort of posts make me want to move to Germany or the United Kingdom!
KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND. YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT! You will not be able to see his eyes because of the Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he canât find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Dope Fiend fears nothing. He will attack, for no reason, with every weapon at his command-including yours. BEWARE. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict should use all necessary force immediately. One stitch in time (on him) will usually save nine on you. Good luck.
Hunter S . Thompson
(via methadonetemptation)
I love this book... Hunter S. Thompson and William S. Burroughs should be required reading for all self-respecting junkies!
