to live; to die - to suffer

so this is just like ... the prelude I guess

okay first, I generally don't like to make the dead wife the big evil meanie to set up a m/m relationship because yikes, but I don't think it would be a stretch to imagine that jena and baelor probs had a pretty icy relationship. the marcher lords straight up hate the dornish, and there's a not insignificant amount of racism towards the dornish in asoiaf canon, and in the books baelor looks pretty fucking dornish. so i think the problem goes beyond oh they didn't marry for love it was just duty, like I think (in this instance bc there are some fics where jena/baelor had a great relationship that I love) they fairly openly dislike each other, like zero love there, sex is missionary with the lights off for the sole purpose of procreation, and then they are immediately going their separate ways, and once they have their heirs they probs don't even look at each other if they don't have to.

and even though the dislike was probs mutual I think political or not being in a relationship with someone who hates you has got to fuck you up at least a little bit. on top of that, no shot is baelor finding a side piece bc all the business with the blackfyres has thoroughly scared him away from even the possibility of siring a bastard, and also even though he doesn't like jena he did make a vow. so then we say well what about a man? but baelor grew up in famous asshole aegon iv’s court so he's probs heard every slur westeros has to offer for men that lie with other men, and in canon we do have evidence for someone's claim to the throne not being supported bc they are presumably gay (bittersteel not supporting daemon ii’s rebellion, obviously that happens later but just putting it out there) so absolutely no way in hell is perfect heir baelor risking even the inkling of him liking men getting out, and I do think there is pressure there to be perfect in all other regards bc he's got this big secret that he probs considers to be a personal failing and so he's like well if I'm the perfect prince, and the best warrior, and have no other flaws besides this then maybe I can get away with nobody ever knowing.

1/2 was a lie, this is 2/3, bc i still have more to say

so anyways ser donnel is all concerned but baelors like no no it's fine, don't say anything to him about it, bc he sure as shit doesn't want it to stop. so it carries on and now that baelor is paying attention he's all flustered by it. not in a way that's super obvious, bc like he's too well trained to go full blushing virgin, but I definitely think that when he feels out of his depth or like doesn't know what to do socially he's going to resort to what he does know which is like courtly manners and whatnot. so he's trying to flirt back with dunk and the best he can manage is like yes ser duncan you have served me quite admirably, you are a most devoted and loyal knight. but I think in this context that little bit of extra attention is enough for to indicate that he's not not interested,and without outright saying it I think they develop a mutual understanding of there's something more here, but we have to be so so careful about it.

and i think baelor would sort of just let it lie there, if he were the one that had to do something about it, bc he's while he's brave about everything else, this is the one thing he's never allowed himself and even an untouched mutual understanding with dunk is more than he ever thought he'd have and at least this way he feels kind of seen, without risking anything. but dunk isn't about to let that happen, so he's making up any excuse that he can to spend extra time with baelor, and like when they're together it's like these innocuous little things like he hands baelor something and lets their fingers touch for a second too long, or like helping baelor onto his horse when he doesn't actually need it, and stuff like that. and like nobody ever wants to spend time with baelor just for the sake of spending time with him, like everyone always wants something, or is trying to curry favor, but dunk is truly just there for baelor, and that of course sends baelor into fucking orbit bc he's like what do you mean you just want to be around me? and dunk is like yes always, whenever you'll have me. and as it turns out baelor can't get enough of him, so whenever you'll have me turns into all the god damned time. and the line slowly starts to blur.

okay okay okay now for the gooey bits

so dunk kisses him, and now there's no more ambiguity, like this can't be explained away anymore. and baelor kisses him back, and like he's kissed people before but it's not been like this, and now dunk has his arms around him, and holy shit he's even stronger than baelor thought, and isn't it kind of nice to be held, and it's all well and good until fucking air raid sirens start going off in his brain. because this is not good king behavior. so he starts to pull away, but dunk was already expecting this, so he's like baelor, easy, it's fine, it's just me, and baelor is like we can't do this, even though he so badly wants to, and dunk is like we can, you're the king now, you have heirs, you've done your duty you can have this. and it occurs to baelor that dunk never pushed him until he was in a position where he was beyond reproach, like dunk waited for baelor to have done all the things he was supposed to do, and then finally made this move. like mans waited years for this, because he knew baelor would never go against his duty to the realm (or what he perceived as doing so), and dunk wouldn't ask it of him. and I think that's probably what decides it for baelor, like dunk has given up any chance at a different life by accepting his appointment to the kingsguard, and baelors like well if he can do that for me then I can fucking kiss him. and so he does.

but you didn't think we were getting off (make a sex joke) that easy did you? bc okay now they're spending all their time together, and the kissing is very nice, but I don't think you just go straight to fucking normal if your only sexual experience was like fifteen years ago with someone that hated every minute of it. and maybe in the early days before dunk knew for sure baelor was interested he had a fling or two, but he isn't exactly a wealth of experience either, so they're just going to have to figure it out. anyways in this household I believe in bottom baelor supremacy, and also bad sex as a plot device, so that's what you're getting here.

so like first time, I think baelor is probs nervous af. and does he address that issue with his caring and understanding lover? fuck no, he buries that shit. also, I think that there is probs some deep rooted shame in that he prefers to be the receiving partner, bc like in the context of how people talk about gay sex in westeros that's probs seen as inherently emasculating, but he sure as shit isn't going to acknowledge that to himself or anyone else. and I think up until this point maybe baelor has gotten away with not telling dunk about just how little experience he has, like dunk knows its not much, but he probs assumes there's a little more than there actually is. and they've done other stuff and that was all good but it doesn't take a genius to figure out a handy, and did he shoot off .2 seconds after dunk touched him for the first time, sure, but those things happen. and it's all been so good, and he doesn't want to make it weird, and he's a little embarrassed about it all bc he's a grown ass man stressing about sex so he's just like okay full send.

@anastheseus - author of this idea

I totally see the parallels between these two couples - it really could've been the Arkenstone instead of a rose