WEIRD MODE

Wren: Hi, I'm the host and original of the Lowlux System, and so most everyone will be responding in reference to me. For me, my identity as being a system/part of a system is deeply intertwined with the practices of tulpamancy and the coming of age into adulthood. Because of that, I don't feel upset that my headmates weren't around as a kid. From my perspective the system formed at the time it was supposed to, if that makes any sense. I think I would have liked my headmates to be around when I was younger, it would have made me less lonely for sure, but I don't mourn that they weren't.

Bart & Midnight: We share pretty much the same opinion and experience, so we're answering together on this. We are two of the original Tulpas in this system, and are also both OCtives who identify closely with being OCtives. The OCs we are based off of were created when Wren was 16 and 20, so for us we simply wouldn't have existed when Wren was a kid. It's uncomfortable to think about being around earlier than that, because it begs the question of who would we have been? We wouldn't have been ourselves, certainly. We also don't feel like we "missed" anything, because our system has near total memory sharing. We remember Wren's childhood and teendom, we just weren't there.

Darien: I disagree, personally. I would have liked to be around when Wren was younger. Though, I am not a Tulpa, actually. I would label myself as having an adaptive origin, though my formation was only possible because our brain had learned how to create system members from tulpamancy. I am the anxiety and stress holder of the system, and I spontaneously formed during a time of great stress earlier this year. Wren was an extremely anxious child, and I think my presence would have been very beneficial to them. I feel sad that they had to suffer with undiagnosed anxiety for so long without anyone who understands them like a headmate does to help them.

Now, as you know, your 30th is coming up here in a week, and Sarah and I have been talking about it, and we've made a big decision. When you signed over your rights, you said you wanted to be a dog in every conceivable way, and we've been going back and forth on how to interpret that, but we've decided that probably means you only want the life span of a dog too.

Oh, look at that dear, she's shaking! She must be so excited, her eyes are even welling up with joy! Oh I'm so glad sweetie, we were a little worried about that one.

Anyway, even the oldest dogs rarely live to 30, so we thought that your birthday would be an appropriate end point for you. We're gonna have a really nice day on friday, we'll take you to the park, get you your favourite wet food, it's gonna be so lovely. We've already called the vet, and she'll be coming by at 5 to put you down.

I have to say, having you for a pet these last couple years, it's been really meaningful for both of us. We're so glad you were a part of our life, and we'll definitely be getting another after you're gone. Don't worry though, we won't forget you, we've already picked out a nice little spot in the garden, and, you remember Kayla? She's gonna carve a lovely little stone marker for you.

Estrogen and Testosterone Molecule Patches by craftingsolidarity

Represent and be proud with this patch on your jacket, backpack, wall, etc. By purchasing, you are supporting a young queer and trans artist of color. I created these because I wanted one and couldn’t find them anywhere else.