frustrated

I don’t like myself, it’s not the easiest thing I know. But why can’t just love me. I hate myself because I can’t even love myself, I am not able to.

as Sylvia says “ I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”  If I convey the feelings I would say  Ms. Plath helped me understand my odd feelings about satisfying everyone i know. I am not sure why can’t I see that I can’t make everyone happy. I disguise my true self and wear different hats to be the one that they want me to be. Yet the figs are falling to the ground and I am losing myself. I am losing. I am losing my potential selves since I selfishly want to be every possible me.

#feelings

Yoksa çok zaman önce gerçek benliğimi diğerleri arasında kayıp mı ettim? Kaybetmiş olduğum hissi ağır bastığı zamanlar kimsenin bundan sonra beni, gerçek benliğimi, tanıma imkanı olmadığını görüyorum. Çok yalnız.