DonnaUniversalis

The Best Advice | David Bowie

“Never play to the gallery. You never learn that until much later on I think. But never work for other people at what you do. Always remember that the reason that you initially started working was that there was something inside yourself that you felt, that if you could manifest it in some way, you would understand more about yourself and how you co-exist with the rest of society. 

I think it’s terribly dangerous for an artist to fulfil other people’s expectations. I think they generally produce their worst work when they do that. 

Aging with Grace

The search for why

This does not come easy to me. After ‘going with the flow’ of ‘whatever comes your way’, only in the last few years I’ve come to struggle with purpose. What is it that I want? 

Having avoided this question for the first almost 40 years of my life, the urgency of answering hit me hard when I realized I had lost my drive. Lots of people in the past have complemented me on my ‘drive to add value’. But at a certain point I realized this had mostly been a ‘drive to please’. Nothing wrong with pleasing or rather serving others, but the missing link to my inner self became painfully apparent to me when I felt more energy drained than gained. 

What do you believe?

A first step for me in finding my why is just to right down (some) of my believes:

I believe all people have an innate drive to seek out joy and happiness, while experiencing life on this earth. It’s why we use our intellect, our creativity, to figure out what works and what could work even better. It’s why we feel pain when there’s an injustice or something we simply do not like. It’s what triggers innovation. It’s what keeps us learning and developing. In the end we all want to make this world a little better.

I believe people need people. We are social beings and the connection between us is just as important as the food we eat and the air we breath. We inspire one another, learn from each other and work together to create things bigger than us as individuals. We are happy when the people around us, the people we care for, are happy.

I believe there’s beauty in everything, an essence that is not always visible. I believe that when this essence comes to light, everything falls into place. Let’s try not to be distracted by the superficial we see on the outside. With intention and attention it’s possible to get to the core. Let’s also not forget the essence on the inside. Our inner voice, our intuition, our soul.

What my why is, will be a work in progress for a while. But I have made it a priority to find out what it is. Find it here.

As I began to love myself

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.

Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY“.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.

Today I call it “RESPECT“.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.

Today I call it “MATURITY“.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm.

Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE“.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.

Today I call it “SIMPLICITY“.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.

Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF“.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.

Today I discovered that is “MODESTY“.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.

Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT“.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.

Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART“.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.

Today I know THAT IS “LIFE“!

(Attributed to) Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday: As I Began to Love Myself. Source: http://www.free-meditation.ca/archives/482

Coach: What is it that stops you from creating your space? Speak up your mind, showing up for YOU?

Me: Doubt? Insecurity, fear of offending or disappointing someone?

Coach: What is the most dominant one?

Me: ... I guess insecurity ... not knowing for sure if it's the right thing to do, if it fits with what I REALLY want.

Coach: So, people should have a clear reason why they do something. Based on the framework of their beliefs, goals, ambitions. Is that your believe?

Me: YES! I want to clearly explain what I want and why, so I need to figure that out first!

Coach: Imagine your opposite a potential client and you have a conversation about some of the challenges their company is facing. What do you feel?

Me: Curiosity, a drive to figure out what might be a solution. How I can be of help.

Coach: And there it is. Your license to act. It's already there. Do you understand? Do you really GET this?

Brand New Day

So 2016 has begun. Over a week in already. A new year motivates many of us to make changes. Because that last number in the way we register a point in time, changes? A 5 that becomes a 6. Well, I guess it’s also the elaborate ceremony we have created around it. The moments of reflection we take when the end of the year approaches, alone or with family during holiday celebrations. The festivities with which we welcome the first fresh moments of the new year.

New Year’s Resolutions

Did you make any New Year’s resolutions? How’s that going for you? I’m curious what your strategies or to ‘keep them alive’ and relevant. I tend to forget them pretty quickly. 

Maybe because they are to big, too far away, not very practical. Maybe because when you consider a year, especially at the start, it seems like there’s enough time. 

Many months, weeks, days left to get started on whatever it is you set as a goal. I could just leave out the maybe. I’m a procrastination queen. 

Keep it small

I guess with the timing you could still consider the following New Year’s resolutions, but there’s really no time like the present to break with habits that don’t suit you. So I’m calling these my daily goals. 

Ambitions that I can fulfill within the timespan of my daily 16 waking hours. 

The benefits are obvious. Each new day is a new chance to work on your goal. And because they have to be attainable, you probably are more likely to succeed than fail.