shouting at the world because no one is listening

"Baby, she just went into labor. He/She is going to be here soon."

"Can you believe that __ waited until our first date night since having them to speak their first word?"

"Does this mean we can stop calling the baby 'it' now?"

"First rule of parenting, you sleep when the baby sleeps."

"I'm a terrible parent. I don't know why I thought I could do this."

"I don't think I'm ready for this."

"I got a call from __'s biological parents. They want to meet him/her."

"I think I found us a surrogate."

"Keep bringing them gifts home everyday and we'll wind up being like those parents on 'My Super Sweet Sixteen'."

"Let's adopt a baby."

"Please tell me that his/her first word was 'duck' and not what I called my boss last night."

"The adoption fell through."

"The adoption got moved up. We can pick them up in a week."

"The surrogate changed her mind. She wants to keep the baby."

"They certainly have a pair of lungs on them. Are you sure you're not biologically related?"

"They get picked up in a month and the nursery still isn't done."

"We're going to be a family."

"We're not naming the baby that."

"We can't have sex with __ asleep in the bed next to us."

"We were approved. We're getting our baby."

"What if he/she hates me?"

"What if we made a mistake?"

"When we agreed to this, I didn't realize I wouldn't be sleeping in over twenty-four hours."