Life Man

i still wonder what its like to be loved. no second guessing, no reassurances, no pain. just pure, healthy, unquestionable love. 

Ever felt so much disgust and hatred for literally everything about yourself? Your body. Not just about your weight, because even working out can’t change your hideous body structure. About how dumb you are. Seeing everyone be able to do well in school and life while you’re just stupid. And you can’t change that. Can’t increase your IQ. About being a loser. Not doing anything right and being so far behind all your peers. About being so unlovable. Never loved by family. Forget lovers. All you’re capable of being is the side piece. Lately not even good enough to be used. I hate myself so much right now that I’d rather die than live another minute of this pathetic life.

My special talent is assuming our friendship is a burden on you and you dread hearing from me. So then I stop talking to you to ease the load and ruin what we had