It has always scared me how time flies. Nostalgia is a constant in my mind.
Looking back in what I used to repost in this blog was a introspection venture, specially from 2017 and back. I realize just now, how powerful, revolutionary, fresh and impatient my seventeen year old mind was. Iβm glad I didnβt let her die, at least not completely. I see the posts, the images, the style, the music, the persons, the quotes, and I realized all of what I storage here were my aspirations as a women, and unbelievably I found here what I am today, so I guess I made it. But here, there are also concerns that havenβt fade away. Iβm honestly worried that I still relate to the demons from my teenage years, but I guess thatβs life and maybe my mind will never figure anything out. Still, I have changed, everything changes, but what havenβt is that I have only myself. Back at the day I was just full of thoughts, the beliefs inside me that I was just giving birth in the past, today are consolidated, my ideals are stronger than ever. I havenβt lost the delights for art and for words. It is what keeps human souls alive when they get lost in triviality. The aesthetic that I aspired to at that time, is what I project as a woman today, now i actually believe that what you wish is already inside you. People have left, people have come, and then left again, and more will come, but what doesnβt change is that all I have is just myself. I have found new sources of inspiration, they feel like they are meant to be for me, we are meant to be, and they are building me still. The passing of time scares me, it feels so short but at the same time so eternal. Between the repost I used to share and the writing of this text so many events have passed and only now I realize it. Existence is just so relative and so ephemeral. It's all so confusing, sometimes I believe it's better to live in delusion, and keep going.
