First Born Sterling

PM: Thank you. I’m sorry. I…I slept with someone. Who wasn’t Gabriel. And I…I mean we didn’t have any rules about it, and we’d never really talked about it, but I realized after the fact that I would’ve been hurt if he’d done the same to me. He just asked me to start spending more time in his suite. We were just moving forward and now I’ve fucked it up, like I always do. I…For once in my fucking life someone understood me, Jeff. Someone who wasn’t you, or Vic, or our parents, or any of our other siblings. And I…Did what I do best. I deserve to be alone. I shouldn’t be allowed around the general public. 

PM: You’re welcome, little sister. You have nothing to apologize for, not with me.

[transitioning into f2f since Jeff wants to have this conversation in person rather than over messaging]

Come on. Sit with me and we’ll figure this out.

First off, you don’t deserve to be alone. This is something that can be solved, Genevieve. You may not realize it right now, but this is fixable.

Second, I can see why you believe you’ve fucked things up. I understand that, but here’s the thing Gen. Technically, you didn’t do anything wrong in this instance. 

It sounds like there might was a lack of communication as things... developed between the two of you and started to move forward. The two of you hadn’t talked about expectations or decided on rules and such. I’m also going to take a guess here and say there wasn’t even a conversation discussing... just where the two of you stood in terms of anything and if you were... exclusive or not.

What you need to do is sit down and talk to Gabriel. Be honest and tell him what happened. I can tell you feel terrible about what happened, so apologize to him. Then the two of you need to sit down and talk to one another. Decide where the two of you stand and talk about rules and expectations on both parts. 

Are the two of you still sleeping with other people? Do you ask permission first or is it not happening at all? Those are things you and him need to talk about and decide on together. Especially if you’re serious about pursuing... whatever has been going on between the two of you.

PM: I…Jeff please. I feel like I’m going to throw up. Why am I like this? Why do i fuck everything up?

PM: I’m right here, Genny, and I’ll be with you in just a minute. t’ll be alright. What happened? What did you do that makes you think you’ve fucked anything up? I can’t help you unless I know what happened.

continued from here @domjeffsterling

PM: No, I don’t…I don’t want to ruin your evening. I just…Think I might’ve fucked up. Which isn’t new for me. In any way. I’d just really hoped that was behind me. I feel…A lot of things. I can’t breathe. I’m sorry.

PM: None of that, Genevieve. I offered, so you wouldn’t be ruining anything. Which is why I’m heading inside and coming to find you. Deep breathes, Genny. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Everything is going to be okay.

PM: I’m never to busy for you, Gen. What’s wrong? I’m outside, so I can head in if you need me to.

Would you look at that, fresh meat. I assume you found your family by now, so I’ll just skip to the part where I introduce myself. My name’s James Moore. How are you liking the place? Find everything you need? I work here, so it’s my job to make sure you’re fully satisfied. 

You’re not entirely wrong on that. You also assume correctly. It’s a pleasure to meet you James. I’m enjoying being here, and I have managed to find everything I need, so far anyways. If that changes I’ll be sure to let you know.

I honestly don’t know.   There was…is…a definite good thing, good person, though.  Yeah, especially with what Cam has been through and how they can be, keeping it quiet is a good thing.  Hahaha, fond might be pushing it but I know what you mean.  How about Friday for lunch?

Okay, that’s fair. The fact there’s something good, is important to focus on. Sometimes all it takes is one thing, one person to make you rethink things. I get it. There’s no need to bring them into this, especially if she’s here and working on getting better. I don’t think so, but we’ll have to agree to disagree in this case. That works for me.

Vic: Big Brother?

Vic: I...Think I fucked up.

Vic: Strike that. I know I did.

Jeff: I'm here.

There are good things, but I’m still very much on that discovery path I didn’t expect to be on.  She’s doing better I think, and she would probably be happy to see some more familiar faces.  I don’t think I see us telling them anytime soon.  Oh believe me, she reminded me of that.  I know.  And so I was very, very happy that she’s here.  Do you have a free lunch at all this week?  

As long as you can recognize that. Just take it one step at a time. You may be on a different path than you anticipated, but let me ask you this... at this very moment.. is that a bad thing? Doing better is a good thing, and I’ll send her a message now. I wouldn’t turn down the chance to see another familiar face either. Then don’t tell them. Sometimes... it’s better not to. I’m sure she did, but we both know that Gen is fond of you. She doesn’t always show it, but she is. I can be free whenever works best for you.

Jeff! Hello! So nice to meet you, I’m Miss Ivyonna Heddings, I’m the staff here in charge of the holistic medical care and aftercare center! If you ever need some medical care or aftercare or need to talk about any of the above, please come in my office, I am open open open! 

Hello, Miss Heddings. It’s nice to meet you as well. Holistic medical care you say? I must admit I’m not familiar with that. I’ll keep your offer in mind if I ever find myself in need of it. Personally, I’m hoping that won’t be the case. Not to avoid taking you up on your offer, but simply because doing so would mean I’ve managed to harm myself or someone else. Neither of which I’m in any hurry to do.

Oh, that makes sense! My bad, I complete misread that. How are you finding being back in a place like this, Sir, other than strange? I’m glad you managed to find your siblings though! I believe I’ve met them briefly but everything is just so busy here sometimes that I often forget to stop and actually say ‘hello’. Oh, I don’t mind you asking at all, Sir! I’m newly appointed so it’s all still falling into place, but I’m a teaching assistant here!

No harm done. I’m finding it... somewhat.. refreshing? It’s certainly been a different experience this time around given I’m a volunteer and not a resident myself. Thank you, I am too. You might have met them, and if you haven’t or haven’t spoken much I’m sure you will at some point. A teaching assistant? How exciting. Are you a teaching assistant in general, kind of..floating here and there, or do you stick to something specific?

Oh, it was perfect. I have to admit. I don’t drink often myself but sometimes I like to come home and have a glass of wine. It was a beyond busy and stressful day.

I’m glad to hear it. I’ve got nothing against those who drink. I just prefer not to myself. Though I can certainly see the appeal for it after a busy and stressful days. Are your days normally that bad?

Probably. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t put up one hell of a good fight. Of course, you deserve it, Jeff. Thank you for saying that, Jeff. It means a lot, even if I did already know it. Reassurance is nice. You’re my biggest brother. I could never see you as anything other than perfect. Touche, touche. Thank you. I might even be nice and cook you breakfast in the morning. 

PM: I don’t know. I just…Get the sense there’s a lot about Henry we don’t know. There’s a reason we don’t know his family, I think. I don’t know anything for sure. It’s just a hunch I’ve had for a while, now. But I’m…Concerned. Miss Norah and her claim, Daisy- they’re staff here- were working on a Women’s Space here. It was going to be a really neat safe space and it was…Vandalized. I’m scared our dear brother and his…Companion were involved, at the very least. I…Yeah. I’ve…I mean things have been…Interesting. These past several months. I don’t know that I’ve ever spiraled this hard. But Bells and Hunter are here. That helped. I had another friend here but he’s…Gone now, I think. And I…I don’t know. You know Mom and Dad wanted me to come here because I’ve…Never so much as had a relationship. I know I struggle with a lot. I never thought this shit would help. And it didn’t at first. I’ve…Jeff I’ve been barely holding it together. But I…I don’t know. I met someone. Kind of. I think. I don’t know. It’s confusing.

Oh I’m sure you would, because I’d expect nothing less from you. Even if you knew it, there’s no harm in a reminder. You gave me one, even though I already knew that,so it’s only fair I do the same for you. You’ve always been so bias of me, but I’m the same way with you and our brothers, so it must be a Sterling thing. You’re welcome. I’m here for you, whenever you need me. If you do decide to be nice and make me breakfast, I’ll appreciate it. Otherwise I’m sure I’ll survive with cereal.

PM: I get that feeling too, sis. Honestly.. I always have. I know there is and I imagine that’s intentional, but not everyone is necessarily open about their family life, for a variety of reasons. ...I did hear about someone vandalizing the woman’s space and... I hate to admit it but my first thought was it sounded a lot like something Victor, and Henry, would be involved in. I actually considered approaching Vic about it but I’ll admit... I’ve held off because a part of me doesn’t want to know if he’s involved. I saw the mention of consequences and, to be honest, if Victor is responsible at all then he deserves to face the consequences of his actions. I’m just... holding off because I have no idea what I’m going to do if he is and once I know for sure... I know can’t just do nothing, but.. I don’t know what I would do either in this situation.

I’ve spoken with Hunter, and he did tell me that Cam was here too. He actually told me you’ve been there for Campbell, which I said I wasn’t surprised by at all. I do know why mom and dad had you come here, and honestly... I think it’ll be good for you, sis. I know it’s hard to see that, but sometimes it takes longer than others to realize it. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m here now, you don’t have to hold it together anymore if you can’t. I’m here. Vic is here. We’ve got you. It’s okay to be confused, especially if you aren’t sure how things are going to play out.The unknown can be scary and confusing. You’re open to... whatever this thing is with this someone, yeah? That is the important thing. You’re open to the idea of it and willing to give it a try, regardless of the fact you aren’t sure.

He’s mine, you know. We’ll see who you do and don’t have anything against. I don’t believe you. I know who I am. I ain’t stupid. We’ll see.

Victor isn’t a prize to be won, Henry and I won’t treat him as such. He can be yours, if that’s what he wants, but that doesn’t take away from the fact he’ll always be my little brother. That’s fine. You don’t have to believe me. I never once said you needed to, but it doesn’t change what I said or the fact I don’t have anything against you personally. Does that mean I agree with the things you’ve done over the years? Not at all, but I can disagree with your choices and still not have anything against you personally. Take a look at Victor, for instance. I don’t agree with a lot of the choices he’s made either, but I know he’s not a bad person and it hasn’t changed the bond he and I have.

She submits to me and allows me to guide her towards steady, I have sex with her, and she has become my close companion. I believe she was sexting me the other day as well. Perhaps. I Googled it. 

I see. You and Genny are... involved. No offense to you, but I would prefer not to know the details involving my baby sister’s sex life. Maybe it’s the protective big brother instinct in me but my only concern is whether or not she’s in good hands with you.