Caden Markus Riviera

Eli was happy to go out with someone. It was a good distraction from his own mind. He’d been frustrated with his lack of ability to paint anything good, and it’d been eating at him. Needless to say, he’d largely been locked in his home sulking about everything and missing his brother.

He was partially distracted by the dog as the two of them walked side by side, and Eli wondered if getting one would help his mood at all – though he didn’t voice it. At the other’s question, he jumped a little as he was pulled out of his trance. He fidgeted with his shirt awkwardly. “Um, no. I’m not good at that kind of thing,” he admitted.

Cade nodded, he’d gotten that vibe. He gave him a smile, “Eli. Buddy.” He said as he moved in closer, throwing his arm over Eli’s shoulder, “Well you’re going to have to get out more, even if I have to drag you. You’re a sweet guy, but you can’t stay locked up in your tower like Rapunzel forever.” He said, feeling like he was an eternal therapist, always trying to help others out. 

He walked Eli to the shop now, stopping in front of it, it didn’t look like much from the outside, but Cade fiddled with his keys as they paused in front of the shop, knowing he hadn’t explained anything to Eli. He opened the door, smiling as he held it open for Eli. Inside was the area he had gotten set up, various art stations, easels, a stage for models or still lifes, a huge supply of art supplies, “So, I haven’t hired anyone to run it yet, because obviously it’s going to sell art supplies...but between you and Casey’s friend Zach, seems like we got a few artists on the island now, so I had this set up. You like?” 

Copper couldn’t believe he had just gone off like that, just totally unloaded things he had never said out loud and could barely even admit to himself most days. Why had he done that? Was it because he felt like Cade was something of a kindred spirit? That was probably at least part of it, and Copper thought maybe he’d been aching to talk about these things for awhile now. But now that they were out, he couldn’t take them back, could stuff them back into the heart-shaped box in his chest, and that terrified him. Those thhoug  He s were out there now whether he liked it or not. Shaking his head, Copper argued, “I’m not though. Maybe I’m allowed to be upset at myself and everything else that contributed to that night, but I’m not allowed to be upset at him. What kind of asshole is angry at his fiancé for dying when it wasn’t even his fault? I guess the same kind of asshole who kills him.”

Objectively Copper understood what Cade was saying and knew it was true, and he’d probably say the same type of things if this were happening to someone else. But this wasn’t someone else, it was him, and he couldn’t break free of the shackles binding him to his grief and rage and guilt. “I just miss him,” he said sadly, “and I’m trying to keep going for him, but I also don’t feel like I deserve to. I’m having trouble reconciling those conflicting feelings, probably because I can’t. I can’t really keep going when I feel like I deserve to be dead.” When Cade squeezed his hand, Copper squeezed back gratefully, and he just looked at the other man for a moment. While he appreciated the offer to talk, he wanted something else now. “Can you get me out of here?” he asked Cade. “Can you take me somewhere and make me forget, at least for a little while? Please?”

Shaking his head Cade spoke quicker now, he wasn’t going to fix this or make Copper forgive himself overnight, but he was going to be dammed if he sat by and watched this man tear himself apart, words that Cade had echoed plenty of times himself, “You had an accident. I challenged two men who said they’d take him from me and then they murdered him, so if you’re an asshole, then I am fucking Satan. But, guess what, shit fucking happens and you can either wallow and blame yourself or you can accept it and move on. I know you don’t want to hear any of this, fuck I didn’t want to hear it, but you are not at fault, you’ve probably been blaming yourself forever. Lord knows I did, but that path leads nowhere good.” 

Matt decided to check out the little coffee spot at the shopping center that morning after his run, still discovering all the little nooks and crannies the island had to offer. As he walked in, there was a little bit of commotion on the table near the door. It was none other than Cade Riviera himself. Matt instantly felt bad for him as the coffee drenched him, and really hoped it hadn’t been scalding. The blonde knew a thing or two about dick injuries, but he’d never had the misfortune of boiling it like a fucking hot dog in a pot.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” he asked, looking around and finding a napkin dispenser. He brought it over and handed some to Cade, then began to wick up some of the coffee that had spilled on the table so that more wouldn’t spill all over his damn crotch. His gaze traveled over to the man’s papers, and then he realized what he was looking at. “Is that an ice rink? Please tell me you’re thinkin’ about bringing one to the island, cause I’d give my left nut for one.”

Cade was dusting himself off, the way he yelled, Bentley had backed up, tangling himself more in the table legs. Which would be a problem he’d have to deal with later, he was shaking his head. Cade took the napkins, “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” He said as he rubbed the napkins over his lap and shirt. He’d have to go home and change before he went out tonight now. He wasn’t really listening to Matt when he talked about the ice rink. He glanced up, “Hmmm?” He asked and then it clicked what Matt was referring too. 

“Oh, um yeah, you’re Bettenhaus right? I used to watch you back on the Kings. Attended a lot of games. We’ve technically met, you signed me and Michael’s hat back when you won the cup.” Cade said with a smirk and moved to stand on the other side of the table before leaning down to help Bentley out, untangling his leash as he continued on, “Debating an ice rink or a zoo of sorts. Set land aside for it, just polling backers and seeing if I can get it at least partially financed so I am not funding it myself. Construction, staff, etc. It’s a lot.” 

Casey: Yes.

Casey: Cade Riviera does not sit around idly with his thumb up his ass, even while his nuts sizzle.

Cade: I mean you're not wrong. Though sometimes I like thumbs up my ass. JS

Cade: Currently I am getting discharged.

Casey: LMAO WTF

Casey: Poor baby! No hot tub for you for... like. At least a few days, unless you want to experience a special kind of pain.

Casey: Ice baths, though. That's where it's at.

Casey: They do wonders for your skin, ngl.

Casey: Aside from self mutilation, what are you up to?

Cade: I haven't taken an ice bath in forever.

Cade: I think rehab, the physical kind was the last time.

Cade: Wait I have to be up to more then burning my nuts off?

Cade: At least we agree you are the devil.

Casey: I’m getting you this sweater. Casey: LMFAO 😘😘😘

Cade: Hey you

Cade: I think I burned my dick.

The evening was cool and Cade had left the back doors wide open, the cool breeze blowing through and into the open floor plan of his first floor. The kitchen back behind him, Cade laying on the couch, Bentley standing essentially over the top of Cade from the side of the couch,  licking at his face. Cade’s body clothed in a pair of shorts and a loose-fitting black t-shirt, he could already smell Xander’s cooking, which still blew his mind. That the young man had decided to cook for him for the first actual date. He wasn’t really sure what to do with himself, as he was zero help in the kitchen for the most part despite Connor’s efforts to teach him otherwise. 

He rubbed the top of Bentley’s head before sitting up some on the couch, turning his head to look over at Xander in the kitchen, “It is smelling good. But, I swear if this is some sort of ruse to poison me though your food, I am so haunting the shit out of you.” Cade said with a smirk, Bentley pawing at his side because Cade wasn’t giving him direct attention anymore. He leaned on the back of the couch, resting so he could look over the couch and kitchen island at Xander cooking behind him, “You look cute in the kitchen though.” 

Cade hadn’t seen Eli since he’d accidentally gotten the artist stoned and took him for a swim, he assumed he’d gotten somewhat settled into the island and Cade wanted to make sure he was alright. He had arranged for the two of them to go on a walk, what he hadn’t told Eli was that he had gotten him a surprise. He had rented out a studio space, which could be used for Eli to work on his art. It was technically open to any artist, but it was a place with full supplies, a stage for models and various work stations. He had been setting it up for the last week and hadn’t hired anybody to run it, so currently Cade had the only key to it. 

Having picked Eli up from his place, he was walking at Eli’s side along with Bentley. The dog leading them on his leash, pausing to sniff things as they walked the path up towards the Ellison Shopping Center, where he had rented the space, though he hadn’t told Eli the final destination, “So...how you settling in? You find anything to keep you busy or anyone?” Cade said with a smirk and a wink at the man at his side. 

Blueprints for either a new ice rink and his other option of an expansive free-range animal park. He couldn’t fit both, he had to weigh the ethical and environmental qualms of both options and make a decision. Casey had left it up to him to make the choice and set up the contracts. The best option was to find an investor. He laid back in his chair, sipping his coffee slowly outside the small shop in the Ellison Shopping Center. He glanced up seeing someone approaching him and he moved to scoot his chair in so he didn’t block the door, when he did, Bentley tried to jump up, knocking the table which resulted in the coffee flying off of the table and onto his shirt and parts of the table, “Fuck.”

When Cade told the bartender that he had had enough, Copper was furious.  He clenched his fists and was about to go off on Cade, that carefully contained rage threatening to break free.  But over the last year he’d gotten good at keeping that inside, so Copper just closed his eyes and took a breath.  Cade was just looking out for him, and he knew that.  "He wouldn’t have wanted me living like this,“ Copper agreed when he opened his eyes.  "But Ethan is dead.  It doesn’t matter what he would have wanted anymore.”  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Copper felt guilt.  "I’m sorry,“ he whispered, eyes closed again, and he wasn’t talking to Cade.  After opening them once more, Copper said, “That’s not true.  It’s always going to matter what he would have wanted.”  Ethan being dead didn’t change that.

Copper could have gone on raging for a long time.  "I’m just so fucking angry,“ Copper told Cade, his voice a whisper; this wasn’t something he had ever said to anyone other than his therapist back in Maine.  "I’m sad all the time, even when I’m not, but I’m angry too.  I’m mad at everything.”  The longer Copper spoke, the louder he became, his voice laced with bitterness.  He went on, “I’m angry at myself obviously, but I’m mad at that the snowplows hadn’t dropped enough salt to melt the ice that night.  I’m mad at all the fancy new safety measures touted as selling points that failed to save his life.  I’m mad that that tree was growing where it was, and I’m mad at the EMTs for getting there too late.  I’m mad that they focused more on me because they thought I had a better chance of living.  I’m mad at the snow for falling that night.  I’m mad that he had to work, and I’m mad at myself for picking him up and claiming that it was safer that way.  That feels like some big cosmic joke now, only I’m not laughing.  But…”  Copper trailed off, biting his lower lip because what he was about to say was a dark kept secret that he had never given voice to.  The thought of doing that scared him too much.  Then he took a deep breath and said in a raspy voice, “And I’m mad at him for dying.”  Copper couldn’t believe he had said it out loud, and he didn’t feel better, but he didn’t feel worse either.  He didn’t feel like anything.  "I’m so angry that he died and left me here,“ he murmured, and it wasn’t until he saw the teardrops on the bar that he realized he was crying.

Cade let him speak, just let him work through it. He could interject, he could argue, he could explain. None of that would help Copper. No, Cade knew better, he knew that the other needed to be given space to work through it in his own mind so he sat in silence, just nodding slowly at him. When he finally stopped, when he admitted he was mad at him for dying, when he explained the situation fully enough that Cade could fill in all the gaps, it was blatantly an accident. He reached out, wrapping his hand around the back of Copper’s head, he gave him a soft smile, a sad look as they met eyes, “Hey, listen.” He said as he spoke slowly and assured, “You’re allowed to be mad, you’re allowed to be upset. But, you...” He paused, making sure that Copper heard him.