Belle Encore Toxiques

How am I supposed to ignore the way you make me feel.

We never have the right words but the moment it was just you and I our bodies did all the talking.

I yearn for your presence

Yet I have to accept we could never be.

What I would do to have another day with you. To laugh, to learn new things from you, to lay in bed with you, to have you call me “baby” again and again, and to just forget the world for a moment.

Why do I always come back to you?

How could one person make me feel like I was the only person in their world to feeling like I’m scum on the bottom of their shoe.

I gave all my love and it wasn’t enough. Nothing I did was enough. So how could I want this person so much if I myself was not enough for them.

Why does this pain haunt me and follow me around everywhere I go.

Nothing would feel better than to just feel nothing.. to never wake up..

But then there’s my daughter and as much as I want to be there for her I feel like I’m only hurting her.