Leòmhann

I just have to do it before I get bored and move onto something else, but that’s part of the fun! Staying forever restless.

Consent and Pronouns

Your “discomfort” does not change my pronouns.

To me consent is a mutual understanding of something, an agreement, or giving someone access to you and your soul. To tell someone your pronouns, you are giving them consent to share in your identity, and you are setting a boundary between the language you will and won’t be referred to.

After a certain point of my transition, I had to ask myself if those around me were getting my pronouns wrong due to a fault of my own. I don’t have much dysphoria and don’t particularly want to be seen as “male” or “female”, but as a non-binary person who uses he/him pronouns and has done with my family for about 3 years (socially a bit longer), having your pronouns consistently be ignored is disheartening to say the least.

It made me think about how we can only be lenient with acceptance for so long, if we trust someone enough to share our pronouns with them and they continually use the wrong ones, at what point does forgetfulness cross the line into no regard for our safety or consent to the language we are referred to.

Oftentimes, transphobia is masked as care, or swept up in religious beliefs, and it is important to take notice of the people who are becoming uncomfortable by you finding your happiness. By using the wrong pronouns for me, you are explicitly telling me you do not care about my happiness, comfort or safety.

And hope you like where you land.

CW- transphobia, violence, reference to being taken somewhere unknown.

Coming out: Part 1

Self portrait 2022- Week 2!