Grunkle Tran? Wenby?? DIPPER??!?!

[ID. Above, a color illustration of Stan and Ford Pines on the Stan o' War II, under a colorful dawn sky. Stan is fishing, and Ford is taking notes. Both are wearing fishing hats with their names on them, made by Stan. End ID.]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Stan and Ford!

And it's the 14th anniversary of the Gravity Falls premiere!

1. Have proof they're a teenager first. More than just a picture, have a video call with them.

2. If you want to meet up with them, have your parents or a trusted adult come with you. Even if they are a proven teenager, its still good to have supervision in case any issues happen.

3. If you are talking to an adult, and they start being sexual in any way, you run the fuck away. It doesn't matter if they're 40 or 20. An adult inherently has a power dynamic that teenagers do not. And its up to the adult to act responsible about it. There's exceptions of course, if you're 16 and dating an 18 year old, that's not a problem, we're not talking about that.

4. Being in a server with adults or ran by adults is not inherently bad. Talking to adults is not inherently a problem, and will likely happen in any number of Discord servers. It is only an issue when they are acting sexual and show predatory behavior.

5. Look out for grooming behavior. It can be difficult, because at first it seems like innocuous behavior, like complimenting or giving gifts. Especially if you feel lonely and have low self esteem. And groomers actively target people like that.

If they start trying to isolate you, talk sexual with you, state they depend on you for emotional needs, blame you for their own actions, try to be secretive about the relationship- Then you need to talk to people you trust, block the perpetrator, and call the police on them.

In a perfect world all adults in online spaces should know better, but especially through discord I've met a lot of adults with little to no awareness why you shouldn't discuss adult topics with 14 year olds in your server, and that's not even just in regards to specifically sexual NSFW. I've even met people in my teens who'd try to keep minors at arms length for the fact of being too young to talk to in their own opinions, but still they just enjoyed having a large community to say whatever in more than they necessarily cared about the actual semantics of what is and isn't safe to discuss among with minors.

Way too many times I've talked to adults who will say they things like "nahhh I can't talk to you about this, you're too young" but instantly discuss it with minors anyway. One of those times was absolutely manipulation; but another one of those times the person in question MEANT it, they felt badly discussing it with me but also felt worse telling their friend no and they did it anyways. The discussion was only about alcohol but I was still a teen and this person in question was about 30, you can see exactly where this becomes a slippery slope.

I don't think it's wrong to be friends with minors but when you muddy the water between friends in your adult/similar age range group and young impressionable teens things can get dangerous for everyone involved. Teens WILL push for information, they WILL push to learn more especially if you tell them a space isn't teen friendly or a topic isn't minor appropriate, and while not incapable of their own actions the adults around them should be responsible in making sure they're either making a safe community for the minors in their circles or putting their foot down on keeping those people out of harm by being conscious of the age ranges you're dealing with. (Or, better, restricting adult spaces to confined discussions where no minors will ever be present.)

It's also complicated for a teen to deal with someone they're friends with or look up to in anyway and confront the idea that that persons actions may be hurting you, your development, etc. If the person grooming you doesn't feel like they did anything wrong, it's really hard to stand up for what you feel like is right when an adult puts you in an uncomfortable situation.