How the Witcher show runner really feels like (probably)
The Witcher Show Runner: The focus will be so on the strong powerful female characters. Like, this will be all the fans will talk about. This is going to be the reaction and maybe by season 2 we can get away with reducing Geralt's storylines even more and rename it 'The Sorceress', haha! No one will notice. Tomorrow is the day, Dec 20th, here I come. Can't wait for the reactions! Girlpoooow-
Fans: TOSS A COIN TO YOUR WITCHAAAAH!
Fans: OMG, Jaskier is so fucking cute!
Fans and critics: Joey Batey steals the show.
Fans: 10 minutes in and I already ship Geralt and Jaskier!
Fans: I can't stop listening to that song! Why is it not on Spotify?
Fans: I got pregnant just from watching Geralt's bathtub scenes!
Fans: Joey Batey/Jaskier is a pure innocent cinnamon roll and needs to be protected at all costs!!!
Show Runner: Ehm, excuse me, what is going o-
Elon Musk: OH VALLEY OF PLENTEEEEEH!
Show Runner: Look, look! Behold the amazing love story of Geralt and Yenne-
Fans: Why do Jaskier and Geralt have better chemistry than Yennefer and Geralt?!
Fans: Ratio Geralt x Anyone fics 1:10 with 1000+ Geralt x Jaskier fics within four weeks.
Fans: Jaskier is our bi disaster and no one can tell me otherwise!
Show Runner: Totally just frien-
Joey Batey: Jaskier falls in love with everyone.
Joey Batey: Here are two men who love each other very much.
Joey Batey: Profound, unspoken love..
Official Witcher Twitter: Geralt can try and resist Jaskier all he wants to. (direct quote)
Witcher writers and directors: Do you think we were too subtle with all the homoerotic text, I mean subtext and Jaskier's pining for Geralt?
Witcher composers: Yeah, so we are going to write Jaskier a heartbreaking version of 'Jolene' in case someone still hasn't gotten the message.
Show Runner: Why do I feel like I'm not in on something here? ಠ_ಠ
Fans: Release the damn soundtrack!!!
Fans: Jaskier, Jaskier, Joey, Jaskier, Joey, Jaskier...
Shown Runner: Why is this happening? I made so sure he wasn't included in any promo (Except Poland, how dare you?), not invited on stage at the Witcher premiers and left out of San Diego Comic Con.
Official Witcher Twitter: So Jaskier runs this account now.
Fans: TOSS A COIN TO YOUR WITCHAAAAH!
Show Runner: I can't believe that damn song went viral. It has a horrific message!
Fans: Where is the soundtrack?! Take my damn coin!!!
Netflix: The soundtrack is happening.
Show Runner: Okay, but at least make sure to not credit Joey Batey.
Fans: Credit Joey Batey da fuuuuck?
Nextflix: Haha, it was just a technical issue, will be fixed.
Show Runner: Okay folks, back to what really matters! I'm sure everyone is talking about Geralt and Yennefer's heart wrenching breakup at the end of episode 6 I mean-
Fans: Geralt yelling at Jaskier and sending my precious baby away broke my fucking heart oh my GAWD!
Fans: I swear if Geralt doesn't apologize to Jaskier next season we will riot!
Fans: Write several hundred heartwrenching break up fix-it fics and flood Youtube with Geralt x Jaskier fan vids.
Fans: Nooooooo, I need season 2 NOW!
Show Runner: Okay okay, focus, pesky fans, FOCUS! Have I told you about the amazing chemistry Henry and Anna have on the se-
Joey Batey: I publicly love him.
Joey Batey: We absolutely adore each other.
Joey Batey: We make each other laugh. Henry is such a joy to work with.
Joey Batey: So I had a bit of an anxiety episode at the London Witcher premier and found a room with a piano in it and just sat down playing some music to try and calm myself down and then Henry found me and had snuck in and was just listening to me play and our eyes met and we had a moment there and-
Show Runner: FUCK! (ノಠ益ಠ)
