the doc

her words are still half a threat, but he accepts that, understands the need he raised for her to have to assert a certain boundary, to warn him off of trying anything like what he did in the very beginning again. she seems willing enough to trust him with treating her child regardless, however, and he wonders if that has anything to do with the person she knows him as or more so with the fact that there is no other medic aboard the ship. no one else other than the bare minimum, really. still, he straightens automatically, turns and motions her to follow him to the table where all his items are nearby.

“you can put her down here. how old is she?” the words come automatic, his voice having shifted into that of his profession; no nonsense and clear cut. luckily harper seems to be okay with that, because she does as told and answers him immediately. and so he starts on the checkup, letting the robot help him in a less obvious way to not alarm the woman again as he takes the child’s weight, checks her breathing and her heartbeat, makes sure everything is as it should be with the little baby. he even starts a file on her, asking her name, any medical issues she might have had, any medical issues in the family. harper’s voice doesn’t even hitch when she says she doesn’t know about the father’s side and so he accepts it like he accepts everything else, giving a little nod of his head and simply continuing.

when he is all done with the child, he motions for her to pick it up again, then continues asking some questions about the behaviour that worried her and anything else that might have transpired since. by the time he’s reached a conclusion, harper is seated on a chair with the babe at her breast and he calmly puts a glass of water down on the counter next to her, before pulling up his own chair to take a seat as well - far enough away to not be counted as a threat. his gun is still lying a little end away where she put it down, and he makes sure to let her sit between him and it, doing his best not to seem like he might want to do anything to her after all.

and his voice he can keep level. after all, his voice has been trained almost as rigorously as he himself has to be able to endure this job and all that comes with it - including delivering bad news to highly emotional people. so he takes the cup from endymion, and he allows the contact between them without pulling away like he’s burned.

“the captain will see you when he has time for you,” he says calmly, keeping anything that might sound like patronising out of his voice and merely adopting a polite tone. yet there are things he thinks the prince should hear, and perhaps better they come from him while the young man is still on the iv drip and he can let the robot up the sedative at any moment than when faced with the captain and ready to throw another hysterical fit. so when he continues, it’s still polite and amicable, but also a little bit more matter-of-fact. “i am not certain when exactly we will land next, nor have i been made aware of where we are going. the ship has been strained by rushing to your aid and we are working with a skeleton crew as it is. regardless, until we find out what exactly happened on zephyr, i don’t think it’s safe to try and throw a signal out there, there is no saying who it might reach and what extra problems that could bring us.”

he slowly pulls away then, so he can turn and put the cup back where he picked it up from, filling it with water once more but leaving it there for now. at all times he stays highly aware of any sound of movement behind him, for he honestly can’t put it past the prince to rip the needle out and make a run for it just to find the captain himself and demand whatever it is that needs demanding. so when he turns back around, he leans back against the counter, just so that he won’t get pushed out of the way or grabbed by the collar for the words he speaks next.

harper lee. ariel resident. loyal to the alliance. he remembers the name, even vaguely remembers the woman he’d seen a few times. none of it matters, the only thing he can think of is those last four words, and those are the ones he reacts too. with a speed he didn’t realise he still possessed, instincts that kick in even after years of disuse, he lunges for his gun, pulls it from its hiding place under the table and whirls around, aiming right at the place where the robot tells him she is. he doesn’t expect her reaction to be as fast as it is, the robot’s warning voice only speaking when he already feels the tug on his arm, feels the painful stab in his wrist, feels his fingers lose their grip and then the gun is gone, until it is back a second later, pressed against his forehead.

and then there is something utterly remarkable, a sound he hasn’t heard in a very long time, and especially didn’t think he would hear aboard a smuggling ship; the sound of a baby. right then, the robot helpfully supplies him with she is carrying an infant, i have it in my visor. he’s not capable of reacting straight away, a brain full of wonder why an alliance member would be coming after him with a baby, considering it might be a disguise, wondering if it’s really hers or not. and then her voice sounds up, and it’s got that tone to it that leaves no trace for doubt. that is her child and she is the mother and if he doesn’t stop being a threat to her baby, he will not live much longer. or a very long time still, but only in pure agony. it still takes him another moment to be able to take a breath, to regain his composure, and then he lifts a hand and motions the robot to back down.

and honestly, he would have expected the young prince to recognise them, but the kind of emotions that lay in that single question indicate that something much bigger must have transpired between them. no matter what it was, no matter if all henry said they did together was inspect and work on mechs, it must have been important to his patient, whose voice tilts in the way of hope, of surprise, of sudden subdued delight. all he can do is simply give another nod of his head, even as the robot informs him that the prince has been eyeing the exit a few times as if trying to plan his escape route.

“i do not know how much of what saito said on the recording was true,” he replies softly. “i’m also not sure at this point what the captain’s plan is. i don’t think you should consider yourself a prisoner, but there is nowhere else you can go at the moment, as we are out in the black.” he’s not sure of this, of course, he does not know if jaewon will treat endymion like a passenger or a prisoner, will consider him a nuisance or a help. what he does know is that both the captain and henry seemed to have known this man, saito, and that they’d gone by every single escape pod but had come back still unsure of the man’s whereabouts. and so the reality is that saito could be anywhere, and he presumes their next course of action is trying to find this man, wherever he may be.

it is not up to him to relay any information to the prince that his crewmembers might not want endymion to know, even if the prince seems trustworthy enough to him. he, too, has put his disguise back on, after all, has made it so not even the so-called trustworthy prince will be able to bear witness to his face.

both the man and endymion himself are severely underfed, but he remembers this from his own time on zephyr not too long ago; the food shortages, the rations, the need to make a little bit last a long time. he recognises the man’s white hair, his clothing, has been given plenty an explanation on zephyrian matters as he was seated by the bed side of one of endymion’s younger sisters, her mother trying to give him everything he could possibly need in order to save her child. and save her he eventually did, but apparently that only bought her enough time to face a more recent, bigger horror.

he hears a sound coming from the sick bed behind him, but the robot is mid-scan and so he doesn’t react to it yet at first, knows it’s endymion’s first attempt at speech and so he should go get a glass of water, should make sure the prince has everything he needs, but he can’t turn away until the robot finishes the scan, and so he waits or the familiar beeping sound first. he straightens then, right as the prince calls for him, asks him the usual questions, and so he turns to go get a cup of water, which he walks over to endymion’s bedside with, reaches it out to his lips for him to drink, gives the prince the choice whether he wants to try and hold it or not.

so when the next words out of jaewon’s mouth are some sort of goodbye, he inclines his head in acceptance of it. “alright, captain,” he replies slowly, doesn’t attempt to look in jaewon’s direction for his gaze will simply miss its target anyway and it will only end up looking off and strange. “thank you.”

he waits for the door to close behind the jaewon, wonders if the man will go seek out henry again to continue their conversation or if there is also no conversation to be had there, no words to be gotten from the captain for a longtime friend. it’s a single heartbeat later that he decides it’s none of his business, and then he quietly shuffles back to the door panel, so he can start with mapping out the room in his mind, acquainting himself with it so at least in this small space he won’t have to depend on the robot at all times.

and once he’s done here, he’ll do the same in the med bay. it doesn’t seem like he’ll be needed anywhere else anytime soon anyway.

he can’t help huffing out in amusement when jaewon speaks of not knowing how many smuggling ships he’s been on, thinks of his own struggle with his failing eyesight and how no self-respecting captain would have ever hired him. he thinks of how he’d spent years on backwater planets attempting to heal those who didn’t have the money to pay for decent doctors, and how the only way he’d been able to perfect his skills even when nearly blind, was to make many, many mistakes, with a good percentage of them often proving fatal. he doesn’t like to think about those days, but they’re a part of his past as much now as they’ve ever been. there is only one person he blames for all of it, one person whose eyes he sees in his nicest dreams and his worst nightmares.

that person is not around anymore, though, and he lives accordingly, letting those eyes carry all the guilt and sliding all of it off his shoulders and onto those of the man who created his issue in the first place.

the name of the ship is mentioned and he can’t help stilling for a moment, can’t help feeling that long familiar little twinge of pain and loss in his chest as the memories of that valley come knocking on the doors of his mind once more. he doesn’t let them in often, and he doesn’t do it this time either, simply shrugs them off and hums in understanding as he gives a nod of his head. he doesn’t pry, he doesn’t speak of that very minor but all-encompassing little shift in jaewon’s voice that tells him so many things which he won’t all understand until he gets to know the captain better again, but he tucks the little bit of knowledge away in his mind for later use.

hearing he doesn’t have to get off the ship if he doesn’t want to has him nodding lightly, a certain relief in his chest, because he honestly doesn’t think he’ll feel comfortable enough going anywhere with any of these people except for henry or jaewon himself, but from what he knows of henry he doesn’t venture off the ship often either, and if jaewon is still similar to how he used to be, then the captain is a magnet for trouble and also not someone he would want to be close to in unfamiliar territory too often. he’s already paid for his crimes in war, he doesn’t need to pay for them with more blood.

he follows the captain into a new room, being told it’s his, and he comes to a halt just a little behind the captain to the left, standing there staring out into the darkness that is his reality, having absolutely no idea of what the room looks like. he can’t help it then, can’t help the smile that creeps onto his face as he tilts his head ever so slightly. “amazing,” he says, lets both the amusement as well as the supposed awe be audible in his voice. “it looks exactly like my old room.” a sort of snort follows his words automatically, and he casually lifts his hands to unwrap the gloves from his wrists so he can pull them off. within moments he’s got them tucked under one arm, temporarily rubbing his hands together to get used to the feeling of not wearing gloves again.

on his hands, too, just like on his face, there are an assortment of small scars littered around, a few bigger ones on his fingers from where he accidentally cut himself, and a hug one on the back of his right hand, from where someone else very purposefully did the same thing. he knows where each of them is placed, because they impair the feeling in his hands, but he’s not seen any of them before in his life. none except the smallest ones, the ones that resemble those on his face, the ones that sealed his fate.

it’s when they apparently step into the med bay, the place he’ll probably be spending a lot of his time aboard this ship - once they have a proper crew again - that he focuses fully, and the the robot, which has been scanning every inch of the place so far to make its own little blueprint, rolls inside eagerly, scanning the surroundings, listing in his ear exactly how few basic first-aid items there are left so he has an instant overview of how little he’ll be able to do here without stocking up first. he himself stays near the door opening, half a step behind jaewon to his left side. he’ll do his own reconnaissance when he comes here alone, on his own time, when it won’t bother anyone that he takes several hours just to run his hand over every smooth surface in the room, to learn them all by heart.

jaewon speaks again, detailing another thing, and he makes a mental note of it in his floor plan of the ship, attempting to connect the two floors together through these stairs as well as the other ones in the cargo bay, but really he’s already a little lost and it will take some time - maybe even a lot of time - to get to know this place within his very bones. it’s been a long time since he’s even attempted to remember more than the singular room he spends most of his time in, hasn’t felt a need to because no place was home for long, and effort didn’t seem like something he’d want to do. but this ship will do the running across the verse for him, and so the least he can do out of common courtesy is figuring her out properly, so that he can help her crew to his best ability.

he turns his attention to the robot when its done scanning, and listens to its last few pieces of information before sighing softly. “print a list of what we need,” he says, already lifting a hand to rub his forehead, because he knows the list will be longer than what anyone would like it to be. “put it from most necessary to least necessary, list the average selling price per item.” he waits for a moment to get the robot’s confirmation, then calmly listens as it rolls back over to him and prints out said list at the same time. “did you print it in common?” he asks, which has the robot let out a few miserable sounding beeps, before he hears the sound of tearing paper and then another list being printed. he smiles softly at it, because he knows he should have mentioned the list was not for him and so did not require braille, but the robot’s dejected sounds always amuse him a little - it has no feelings, but has learned to mimick them in the way he would probably react himself.

“thank you,” he says when he feels the paper being held against his hand, taking it and reaching it out towards the captain. “with what we have i can make do for scrapes and scratches,” he says easily but phrased like the fact that it is. “anything listed above bandages would be very nice to have around at all times, in case there are burn wounds or gun fights or illness. anything under bandages is up to you whether you want to have it aboard or not. they’re very specific things used to treat very specific issues. you know better than me which of these issues occur aboard your ship so you decide what you’d like to stock up on and what not. i’ll make do with the rest.” he realises it’s also been a long time since he wasn’t needed per se but more like giving a chance and so he takes a moment or two to try and formulate a proper sentence of deference to add to that before he gives up and just shrugs.

“it’s been a while since i was under anyone’s command,” he says then, blunt as ever. “i’m afraid i’m not educated on the proper speech patterns anymore. if i’m too crude or should be more respectful, please tell me, i will adapt.” this time his smile is for the captain, an off-brand thing because he hasn’t been around someone he knows and trusts in a long time. “what’s the policy aboard this ship?” he asks after a moment. “is it try my very best to save any crew member or passenger on this ship and screw everyone else, or am i supposed to leave the outsiders and the ones that will probably die so as to not waste supplies on them?”

then the captain brings the subject back to the mechanic, and though the way he phrases it is crude, the reassurance about henry’s skills is appreciated. even if the man has already worked on some things for him, it wasn’t on a ship out in the black and it were small things. to know that someone like jaewon values henry for his skills mean those skills must indeed be sufficient, for else he knows the sergeant would never have let him stay on his ship long enough to start calling it ‘his baby’. then he thinks of how henry probably also wouldn’t be alive anymore after calling jaewon little brother if not for his skill and the amount of time spent aboard this ship.

so he once again inclines his head in acceptance of the captain’s judgement, then straightens more properly when he’s told he’ll be taken to his bunk. he waits for jaewon to put himself in motion so he can follow, but has barely taken a step when the footfalls stop and then the captain addresses him once more. he smiles softly, because of the courtesy extended by this question being asked so easily and honestly, rather than the captain assuming what he prefers.

“as long as there are no unexpected things in the way i can follow on my own,” he says quietly. “and the robot will alert me of stairs, a step or anything like that, he knows how to recognise those since he has to get over them himself as well.” his earlier little smile grows a bit wider then, as he sees the humour of the situation when he easily adds: “the only time i would like to have someone’s guidance is when we’re on very uneven soil, but on the ship i will be fine.”

so he simply takes the words as truth, his head turning along with the captain’s movements as he’d walked away and now as he returns. the sound of the bay door closing makes it a little harder to understand the man, but he focuses more properly on the sound of jaewon’s voice and listens to him explain his reasons for asking the questions. he didn’t think the sergeant would ask him anything out of curiosity or a need to pry, but being given confirmation once more has him nod his head quietly.

and then the questions follow, things he should probably have expected, but that he hasn’t tried to explain in so long that it actually takes him a moment to be able to reply. his earlier smile returns for a moment as he lifts his hand lightly, showing the captain three fingers. “that’s actually three questions, captain,” he says easily, before the hand moves further up towards his ear. it takes him a few moments before he manages to get the earpiece out.

“the robot communicates with me via this little earpiece. i got it an enhanced memory so it stores more information and tends to know what to do from previous experience so i rarely have to tell it what i need of it anymore.” he puts the ear piece back in his ear, then blinks slowly, like a man properly focusing on what he can see, even if it’s so preciously little in his case. “as for my sight, it’s as good as gone. i still see some very faint splotches of light but it’s nothing i can count on. i’ve adapted my way of working over time to fit with how less good i could see. at this point a lot of it is done by muscle memory and touch, but when i have to operate the robot scans the area and guides my hands. without it i could still do it, but it’d be a lot more risky and i’d be a lot slower.”

he curls his hands into fists for a moment, still not comfortable with having to admit to his shortcomings; still holding a burning hatred in his chest as well for the person whose fault it all is. then he relaxes again, as he makes his thoughts wander off to a different subject. “henry said he might be able to add more features to the robot, but i’m a little hesitant to let him try, since it would be a great nuisance if he ended up blowing up my robot. he also suggested if we both worked here he might be able to fix up the med bay with some things to help me with my work - but i presume he’ll discuss that with you first.”

then jaewon continues speaking, tells him he understands and lays out the details for what employment aboard the man’s ship would entail. he nods his head to them, considering all of it as he hears it, and eventually deeming employment aboard the ship of someone he knows and trusts - insofar as he really still trusts anyone - to be a much more lucrative undertaking than going to any of the other ships currently docked on this planet and trying to find a job there. not many people are willing to hire a cloaked individual, after all, but even less people are likely to hire a blind doctor. does he really have a better option?

“well,” he hums easily when the captain finishes speaking, and he automatically closes his eyes for a moment, because he feels suddenly naked without his goggles in that particular moment. “i’m just trying to earn me enough on the side to maybe get my eyes fixed.” it’s a very far off and quite hopeless goal, but as things are it’s the only thing he has to strive towards, so that is what he does. “i presume with a mechanic and a doctor aboard you might be able to attract more crew and get back into the business of things.”

he automatically motions in the direction he knew henry to last be. “i ran into your mechanic a few planets ago, captain,” he says, and there’s absolutely no sign of mockery as he uses the new titles, simply accepts that the information he’d been given before was subjective and alters it with the new information given. “he helped me out of a pinch and then i helped him out of a few of his as well. it was.. easier to travel together, for me at least, and he seemed trustworthy enough. he said he was on his way to a ship to get employment and said if i wanted to we could check out if they were in need of a doctor. if not he said he’d help me find employment on one of the other ships before we parted ways.”

there’s a momentary pause as he turns, looks down at the little robot at his side. then he straightens back up, and his eyes never really find jaewon properly, there’s nothing for them to see, so they just stare blankly ahead. it’s something he’s aware of, but has long stopped paying attention too, though he tends to wear the goggles almost all the time when he’s around other people because the commentary given on it is something he does tire of more easily.

“i did indeed settle on one of harvest’s moons,” he adds then, to clarify further backstory, sharing with jaewon easily because this man knows nearly everything of his important history and will therefore understand without him having to explain too many details. “they eventually came for me. scoured the planet for me. i barely made it off before they reached me. i’ve been hunted ever since, more so with each passing year.” he makes a vague hand motion at the robot and it instantly beeps and lights up again, showing a different warrant.

“wanted alive. doctor adrien wolfstone. for crimes against the alliance. last seen on angel in 2516. if spotted, immediately notify the alliance.” the robot beeps again, but the warrant keeps spinning for a few moments, the number of credits for finding him alive dancing around like an enticing many-numbered figure.”

so even if he relaxes ever so slightly, his hands still stay close to where he can easily grab a scalpel should it be necessary and he waits for whatever comes next with quiet resignation. there has long been nothing he could do to prevent harm to come to himself from someone standing right opposite him. he has long had to make peace with the reality that one day someone is going to shoot or stab him right in the chest and he won’t ever see it coming.

instead of pain, though, there are more words spoken, questions asked, the threat of being known, but it’s when those final words fall from lips that he has some way of situating where and when the man might know him from; the war. that doesn’t help him much, of course, but the fact that this person knows of both his involvement in the war and how he’d gone to one of harvest’s moons is enough to tell him at least this isn’t some ex-alliance member. this is one of the rebels and though he can come up with several names of people it might be, he’s hesitant to choose one and choose wrong.

“i apologise,” he speaks calmly once henry has left them, voice still as relaxed as before even if he’s still just as clueless as before. “i do not know who i am speaking to.” he makes a little hand motion in the direction the mechanic used to be. “your brother only ever spoke of you as a brother and of this ship as his baby, and if you knew me during the war you must know of my affliction.” this time he simply tilts his head a little to indicate exactly which failing he’s speaking of just then. “perhaps you could help me out?”

it’s just then that the little robot at his side suddenly gives a few beeps, projector on top lighting up and showing a see-through copy of the warrant out on jaewon’s name. “wanted,” the familiar little robotic voice tells the both of them. “captain yang jaewon. for crimes against the alliance. last seen on a derelict ship called serenity scouring the black. if spotted, immediately notify an official.” there’s a moments pause, then another beep as the light goes back out, the wanted poster disappearing again.

his head, which had automatically turned to the robot as it started making noise, only slowly moves back to its original position as he tries to fully come to terms with the fact that of all the people whose ship he could have stepped on, he boarded the ship of his former general. but what he mostly needs to come to terms with is the way he remembers said man; all hard edges, determination, a single-minded focus on his goal, no space left for pleasantries or softness very often; and the brother henry has been talking of for the last few months of their travels.

“yang jaewon,” he eventually manages to say. then, a little more disbelieving: “general?”