Caspian Jagger Walker

~

suddenly, there was a guilty look on jett’s face, the corners of their mouth tugging down at the sides. “i do know that, but despite how crabby i am right now and how many questions i’m asking you, i don’t actually want you to leave.” jett gave a sad roll of their eyes before they trained them down, fingers twisting in their lap. “i just feel like i’m a huge burden on everyone,” jett confessed, their voice soft now. “and like i’m not worthy of their time. like if i just disappeared, nobody would ever notice.”

Caspian listened intently, eyes focused on his young friend. He related to them, in a way. He remembers times, not all too long ago, when he was their age and had similar feelings. It is an incredibly difficult time in someone’s life, and it’s hurt him to see Jett feeling this way. “Well,” he began once he was sure Jett was finished, not wanting to interrupt “First of all, if you disappeared there are a lot of people that would notice. Me, for one, but I’ve seen how many people around you care for you. I know you may feel alone, and that is a completely normal feeling to have, but I see that you are surrounded by so much love.” he sighed gently, searching his brain for the right words to say to comfort his friend. “What your feeling is normal and natural and incredibly scary. I’ve been there and I know what it’s like to that way. But know that it’s all internal feelings. And while those feelings are valid and very real, what they are telling you is not true. Those voices in your head that insist that you are a burden or a waste of time are liars. I’ve always called mine my ‘inner saboteur’. What you have to do is find a way to quiet those voices, and fight back with them. Because you are so loved and so worthy of everyone’s time. You are a gift to this earth, Jett. It hurts me to see you feel this way when I look at you and I see someone who is so incredible and whom anyone would be lucky to have in their lives.” He placed his hand gently on their shoulder with a reassuring squeeze “And when the thought of trying to fight those voices on your own is too difficult or overwhelming, you can always call me. I’ll engage them in a round of fisticuffs.” Cas finished with a light smirk.

~

cade wasn’t usually the type to stay quiet in moments of confrontation, always feeling like she needed to butt in on whatever was being said in the ehat of an argument. but this? this wasn’t an argument. this was caspian finally baring his feelings, almost giving somewhat of an ultimatum, though cade didn’t see it as such. she’d been hiding her feelings for caspian for years, a wall built up that caused her to be mean instead of just giving in to the way she looked at him. cade was convinced she could get by with a strictly physical relationship, but the way the pair looked at each other was enough to make anyone on the outside realize that it was more than just physical. she was at a loss for words in that moment, eyes glued to caspian’s face as he continued on with his monologue, the words making cade’s head tilt to the side and her gaze to go soft. but before cade could even say anything, cas’s lips were on hers, and her arms were lifting to snake around his neck. they’d kissed before, but this was different, and she was ready to let herself get lost in the feeling. letting a soft hum release from the back of her throat, cade stepped closer to the male, pressing herself flush against him before she pulled back quickly. “fuck,” she grumbled, on hand moving to grip at her ribs. “leave it to me and my fucked-up body to ruin that moment, huh?”

Caspian had been waiting for years to finally have this moment. To put it all out there and admit that he longed for more from Cade. It wasn’t that she didn’t know, of course, he hinted at it all the time. But it had never been serious. He’d never yet given here the ultimatum, laid it all out in front of her. In truth, he’d been far too scared of her reaction. What if she went the other way? What if he’d misjudged her feelings and she wasn’t just nervous to let someone in, but instead truly didn’t feel the way about him that he had held out hope she would. As he had spoken, the anxiety that had built up over the subject bubbled in his chest, making it feel as though it threatened to burst. And when she returned the kiss, wordlessly sinking her body against him, his own form went slack with visible relief. And, admittedly, a small part of him wished he would’ve done this sooner. 

He didn’t have much time to revel in the sensation, though, as she sharply recoiled away. Initially, Cas was concerned he had done something wrong, but when he registered the hand on her rib, he immediately went into action. “Okay, okay, no more being stubborn. I’m taking a look at that. Lay down.” he searched for his bag, before pausing, turning back to her “Please.” he added, finally locating his bag and pulling out the, rather sophisticated, first aid kit that he always carried with him. “I won’t hurt you, but I do need to make sure it isn’t broken or damaging you in some way. I promise I will only make you actually go to the doctor if it is.” He returned next to her, the open first aid kit sitting at his side, as he reached to grasp the hem of her shirt “May I?” he repeated the request from earlier in the evening, his eyes catching hers.

— //

       𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚.   —    as he suggested batman, estella shifted to the opposite side of the comic book ‘bin’, and started flicking through the dc universe comic books that would fit caspian’s own clientele.  as often it was with the doctor, estella was bright-smiles and easy banter, the perk of return patrons and a small town.   a chuckle coloured her voice, shaking her head good-naturedly;  “honestly, esé, i think you should just stick to novels.  no judgement from me though; you know at least half my belongings are books thicker than my arm, i just happen to enjoy both. the comic book artistry is a nice balance to the density of a hard-back.     i re-read angels and demons again last night, actually, i picked up a copy at the secondhand store last weekend for 75c.   oh, here,” she picked out two new editions of  ‘ you choose batman ’ , made specifically for 10/12 year old kids and with a dozen or so possible endings dependant on their choices,  “here’s the newest two editions of this comic series, and i have to recommend the dc universe answer to teeny-tiny avengers,  ’ batman: lil gotham ’ .  that’ll suit your younger ones.”

        —     she paused in her perusal, “i thought the exact same thing, actually; great minds, doc, they think alike.   though, it’s probably better that kids read rather than stare at screens, right?”   estella and her mamá had an old, old, television that was huge and heavy and they only used it rarely, and she always preferred reading herself.  unless she was sick, then the TV or radio would come on.    pulling out a few newer batman comics, one of the flash, a teen titans academy and about half a dozen more for caspian to flick through.   “all these are $2.99 each, the you choose versions are $4.99.   let me see what else are in the last boxes to unpack, two of them are boxes of funko POP!s & one’s other collectables, but i have three other boxes that are new releases that have arrived.   wonder woman is one of them, and there are a few more. any more requests?”

“To be honest, I don’t get to do all that much reading outside of work these days, anyway. I have a stack of half read books as tall as I am gathering dust in my spare bedroom as we speak. So I think you may be right.” he accepted the new editions from her happily, looking them over, examining the new treasure, face lighting up as they had the perfect batman counterpart. “I swear you’re a genie, Estella, you always know how to grant my wishes.” 

Caspian slid the volumes he knew he was purchasing to their own stack so as not to get lost, nodding his head at their statement. “While screen time has it’s time and place, and there are some great ways to use technology with kids, I would much prefer to see children with a physical book in their hands than watching a screen, if they’re capable. If some parents don’t start limiting screen-time, there is going to be a very damaged group of adults in a couple decades. But I suppose I will save that soapbox for later and avoid boring you to death with a lecture.” 

He was thankful for Estella pulling out the new comics, as it did more to stop him from going on a rambling rant than his own words ever would have. “I’ve been chastised in the past for having un-boxed funko pops in the office and letting the kids play with them. Apparently that is sacrilege to some collectors.” Caspian laughed “Especially when I apparently have rare ones. I never know any better, I just know the kids like them. It’s like those...oh, what are they called? The marshmallow stuffed animal things? People freak out over those and I had no idea it was such a collectors item. I just thought they’d be soothing when I bought them to have around. Now it’s hard to get my hands on them some days. I swear I feel ancient trying to keep up with all of these things”

~

“are you biased because you like mint?” her tone was teasing, fingers already clutching the bag he slid towards her, a thankful smile on her face. “or is this your way of trying to make me feel better for being so skeptical? either way, i’ll accept your answer without more questions.” she was already unpacking the contents of the bag, her head shaking in caspian’s direction. “you’re such a damn dad.”

“Maybe a little, but that doesn’t mean I want to eat toothpaste, so I think my logic is sound here.” he grinned at his daughter for all intent’s and purposes “That’s the name, don’t wear it out.” Caspian laughed with a wink, setting back into the familiar feeling booth. “How’s your day been? Hopefully the tourists aren’t treating you too roughly? It’s almost Crash Con season, after all, so I’m sure they’re starting to trickle in in droves”

          juniper didn’t find herself at the sports complex often, but the occasional dip in the pool if it was looking clean was always welcomed. that is is she can manage to remember both pieces of her two piece swimsuit – she’s digging through her bag, at the peak of tippytoes while walking ( as if that somehow aided the search ) when a sudden collision knocks her flat on her ass. it doesn’t hurt so much as startle her. “i’m–” the brunette giggles at his attempt to stifle cuss words. “maybe i look a bit like one, but i’m not a little kid, no need to pardon your french here. a hand up would be cool, though.”

“Oh dear..” he muttered as he watched the woman fall to the ground, immediately reaching to offer a hand to help her up, right as she asked for one. “You don’t look like a kid, I’m just...working on not swearing so much.” he chuckled nervously “Clearly it doesn’t work under pressure, yeah?” Caspian shook his head as he helped Juniper up “Are you alright?”

~

the idea that so many people were fussing over them lately had jett feeling hollow. they’d done such a good job taking care of themselves (for the most part), that the attention was becoming too much. “i figure if i told you i was sleeping, part of you would feel guilty and maybe leave, but i suppose that’s asking for too much.” their words were harsh, but what jett wouldn’t admit out loud was that they were happy to see caspian; it’d been arguably too long, and his gestures of friendship made them emotional, especially as he set the gift bag down. “they’re helpful in their own way,” they finally muttered, plopping down and releasing a defeated sigh, brown eyes rolling to meet caspian’s. “i feel lost.”

“I’ll leave if you want me to leave, Jett. I want to help, not hover. All you have to do is ask and I’ll be out of your hair, you know that right?” he spoke sincerely, able to tell that his friend was having conflicting feelings, watching them intently. “Lost in what way?” he asked gently “I know that’s kind of a loaded question.”

she’d been so angry. full of rage, seeing red, every analogy anyone might have been able to make about being angry, that’s what winter carver had felt when she woke up that morning. and it’s what had brought her here, all ready and prepped for a confrontation with the man she was stupid enough to fall in love with.

but then she’d laid her eyes on the door of the sports complex and just… stopped. lost her steam, until she felt more numb than anything else. empty inside and with no will to fight anymore - and she didn’t think her self esteem could take another fight with fletcher so soon after the last. but she couldn’t make herself move, couldn’t think straight enough to make a decision despite the fact that she shouldn’t be standing there the way she was - and it’s not until the man bumps into her that she’s spurred into motion, even if it’s only to take a step back, her eyes dropping to the ground after checking who it was. “oh. hi, caspian. i-” she swallowed. “i don’t know what i’m doing here. i should… i should go.”

Of all things, he couldn’t even avoid not running into a woman who was standing completely still. But his embarrassment at this fact was quickly subdued, as he noticed something was clearly off with the familiar face he had bumped into. “Hey, Winter! Hey...are you okay?” he looked at her, concern on his face “Do you need help learning how to use the equipment or did you get lost or something?”

..

There was no reason for Fen to go to the gym. He had no money to pay for a one-day pass, and he definitely didn’t need to exercise. His mousy frame was blessed with a fast metabolism and he didn’t exactly eat richly at the trailer park- unless a diet of cigarettes and chicken noodle soup was the new healthy lifestyle. Fen had, however, noticed there was a pool in there, and that might’ve been worth the entry fee, if he could swing it. So maybe he’d go in and ask, at least. Maybe they’d take pity on him, let him run in there. 

Then he got walked right into and the shorter man stumbled a bit. He was trying to figure out if it was his fault or not- he did have that issue sometimes of walking into someone with the whole right-eye-can’t-see thing. But the way the other was apologizing… he jokingly covered his ears as the man swore a few times and then seemed embarrassed by it. “Not ‘shit’ and ‘fuck’, my poor ears-” He brushed off the old jean jacket he was wearing, nodding. “I’m fine, and I’m thinking that was a sign t’definitely not go to in there anyways, so in reality, I’m better than alright. Y’saved me uhh… however much a day pass to use the swimming pool costs.” He grinned. 

He had to laugh as the person he bumped into covered their ears. Of course most adults weren’t affronted by his language, but it was a habit of his to cover for it. In fact, he’d tried very hard to stop his habit of cursing entirely, but never succeeded. “I’m so sorry my foul mouth affronted your fragile ears. My sincerest apologies.” He rubbed his hands on his thighs “Oh, I think the day pass is eight bucks, if you’re wondering. But, I would be warned, there are some very old and very scantily clad men in there right now. Not that I’m judging, of course. But I thought it deserves a warning.”

If there was one bad habit that Joey hadn’t worked on, was walking while texting. He knew that it wasn’t safe and he had been warned before about doing it, but nothing bad had happened to him so far - of course he had to go and jinx it when he finally bumped into someone while he was walking down the street on his way home - he preferred walking everywhere, mostly because he was a menace while driving and he thought it would be for the best for everyone.

Looking at the other person as they cursed, Joey raised an eyebrow as he shook his head. “That was french? Sounds a lot different than the movies…” He said with a small frown, before smiling at the other to show that everything was okay - after all, no one had been hurt. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it! I should have looked where I was going either way, I was just busy… texting.” He said with a nod. “Are you alright?” He asked.

Cade couldn’t help but feel a small jolt of guilt when he realized he had bumped into a kid nearly half his age, cursing his lack of awareness of his own surroundings. “Different kind of French. Not quite as pretty.” he tried to lightly the mood, glad that the other seemed perfectly fine. “Honestly, I’m impressed you can text and walk at the same time. Perhaps it my old age, but I’ve never managed to perfect that one. One side always has to give, I either fall over or my texts all come out as indecipherable nonsense.” Cas chuckled “I’m perfectly alright, thank you. Physically, anyway. Cursing myself mentally for not paying any attention to where I was going.”

~

watching caspian’s face put cade at ease, a feeling she often didn’t get unless she was with someone she trusted. she still remembered the day they met, and the fact that he continued to stay in her life despite her best attempts at changing his mind said more than she had initially realized. “there was a lot to unpack there,” she began, trying to lighten the mood with humor, though her voice cracked with nerves. “mostly the fact that, of all the people you could possibly choose, you go for the girl that’s only nice to you sometimes. you’re either delusional, or…” with a sigh, cade lifted her hand to scratch idly at her temple, feet carrying her the few feet forward until she was directly in front of cas. “i don’t do this, cas. i don’t…date. or catch feelings for people, or even let people as close to me as i let you. it’s a scary thing, y’know? having feelings for a man that reciprocates them and more, and wanting to do something about it but not knowing how. i want to run for the hills right now, cas. but i can’t, because i can’t risk the thought of not having you anymore.” cade’s eyes had gone sad, head cocking to the side as she studied his features. “do you have a cure for that?”

“Maybe I am delusional, Cade.” he held his arms out lightly to his side with a shrug. “Maybe you poisoned me that day in the ER. Put me under some sort of spell. Slipped some sort of potion into my drink nearly a decade ago. But what I do know is that, whether it’s delusion or perfectly crystal clear thinking, you do something to me that no other woman has ever done. And...” Caspian’s voice faltered briefly, both of his hands moving to encompass one of hers in the small space that still remained between them. “I understand that it is scary. I know. But all I can do is promise you that if you stay, if you let me in that stubborn heart of yours, I’m not going anywhere. I will let anything bad happen to you. “ His hands moved to her shoulders, squeezing gently “You can have your own space and your alone time. We don’t need to rush anything. But i can’t keep on pretending like it doesn’t kill me every time I try to make a larger space for you in my life and you turn it down. I will not lie to you and say that I don’t long for more than midnight trysts that are ignored come the light of day. I want more than just your skin against mine, Cade. I want you. Your heart, your soul, your...all of you. I...goddammit, I talk too much.” His hands shifted swiftly, one at her neck and the other shifting to the small of her back, pulling her against him as his lips pressed passionately against hers. 

*

It was nothing unusual for Skye to be lost in a world of her own, it was how she got most of her work done, earpods in, head down, coming up with ideas as she pounded the street. She didn’t actually know how to switch off on the walk between the office and home. It was only when the sudden collision happened that she was brought crashing back down to reality, one of her earpods flying out onto the pavement. She bent quickly to retrieve it before finally offered a glance to who she’d crashed into. Of all the people.

“Oh God, Doctor Walker… no, my fault. Totally my fault.” Was it? “And don’t worry about the language, you haven’t heard me when Amy isn’t around,” she added with a chuckle. “Definitely more than enough to make a sailor blush.”

Of all people for Cas to bump into, he could’ve at least hoped it was some large, buff man. He immediately felt added guilt when it was someone smaller than him. “No, I believe that one was actually my fault, But I accept the apology.” he laughed with a shake of his head “You’d think working with children all day I would break the habit, but it is like my filter immediately turns back off as soon as I exit the hospital doors. My mom should really come back across the pond and wash my mouth out with some soap, don’t you think?”

"It's been said that I kiss like I'm about to leave for WW1, so take that as you will."

◆◆◆ kekoa’s idling by the exit of satellite sports, spewing psychology to the clerk behind the desk (she’s studying for her masters) when someone bumps into him. “ah!” he startles, nearly dropping the boxing gloves in his hands. he turns around to make sure the other person’s alright — they are, from the looks of it — and it’s caspian. “caspian!” kekoa exclaims, brightening up at the sight of his friend. “don’t i run into you enough at work?” he teases. “just kidding — how was your workout? endorphins up and running?”

“That must be why I bumped into you. The universe said we just hadn’t had enough of each other.” he laughed, bending down to retrieve his friends boxing gloves and hand them back over to him. “Gotta get them functioning somehow, right? How’ve you been doing?”