The Mind of Dr. Time

So many eyes with so many feelings behind them, but there are only two I want to impress. Expectations, wants, and self inflated wisdoms that are trying to be made my responsibilities when I just want to be left to pursue my own desires despite how it'll effect all the eyes and their feelings. I don't want to cause them pain, but why should I forgo my own attempts at finding some innocent joy just because it'll make them sad?

Id be willing to work with you if youd just talk to me about it

Man, there's really only one person that I actually want and enjoy talking to/ being around, everyone else is a struggle

Im descending again, I just want things to be good with us again. I just want us to feel love again

I knew you were going to cancel, I knew you wouldn't just be ok with me going there. The real question is why is it this time? Make plans with someone you'd rather see again?

I don't think we've ever gone this long without seeing each other, I stil have no desire to see anyone else or spend time with anyone else. I miss you and think about you every day, you're still the main driving force behind me and still motivate me to keep moving forward. I just long to look at your radiant face and hear your beautiful voice again, my heart feels heavy and my soul cold from being separated from your warmth for so long. I want to make you laugh again, I want to make you smile and giggle at the silly things I say, I want to be there for you.

Im starting to regress again and im not sure why

This might be it for me man, dont even warrant any kind of explanation or acknowledgement, just ignored and ghosted. I got so excited at the prospect of having khoshekh come stay with me too, the brightest fucking moment I've had since camping.

Im in a lot of pain and I just wish you were here so I could fall asleep to your warmth and scent.

I was doing great, staying positive, then I had that dream now I'm back here again and afraid of the pain you can cause

All thoughts lead back to you

I've come to realize im afraid. I know that soon you'll be far away and I won't be able to see you x not much longer after that I'll be even further away. I guess I'm just afraid of losing what little time is left, I want you to have good memories of me and think well of me.