do∵be∴dream∵

keeping my thoughts aware and intentional feeling, seeding, envisioning, sensual being vibrational seeing relational revealing, reminding, ecstatic, sensational

life is uncomfortable 

confusing 

and even excruciating sometimes

but

resisting reality brings nothing but fallacy

it's worth it in the end to persist and not pretend

to let discomfort guide instead of push us away 

is to embrace the truth of life that will not lead us astray

many things are crumbling many walls are tumbling but amongst all the fumbling there's a balance somewhere

and to feel all this loneliness this fear and this pain is to give myself something to gain, not disdain

because all of these feelings have something to teach me 

even the ones that indict and impeach me

because it's up to me to learn and to grow and to turn all this compost and thresh seeds to sow

my feelings are nourishment thoughts are my seeds in this human experience I choose to be free

from my own condemnation and from that of oppressors I will make the best of this life full of stressors

I can evolve, create, transform, transcend it's up to me to heal and to mend

💜

for all my insomniac, empathic, deep feeling, compassionate, awake and awakening relatives out there:

I love you I feel you I'm with you

love yourself forgive yourself remind yourself

this is hard and that's ok

Dream Weave Designs

sometimes it’s not our carefully calculated characters that hold the most power.

sometimes it’s the treacherous vulnerability of having little to no direct experience with pain, and suddenly, without warning, tumbling into a deep crevasse of malevolence hardly comprehendible. sometimes it’s the degree of ugliness one is met with followed by the total elation of being met with ecstatic beauty after knowing little to nothing of it’s profundity.  sometimes these stark contrasts can change a person on a rudimentary level. sometimes one’s very identity can be split apart and there lay a hollow carcass displaying all the contours of a dramatis personae that one had been convinced to be their true self. but now, as the real true self stands (or maybe kneels) before the lifeless moulted shape, they find themselves inevitably unbound, unwound, unlocked and unloosened. sometimes we’re not who we thought we were. 

i am helping others help themselves

 ...by having boundaries and preventing myself from being unjustly taken advantage of and not being cared for. not only do i allow myself energy to deal with my own problems (that would have otherwise been used to deal with the problems of others), i also allow others the opportunity to address and learn from their own problems, which is often the best help i can offer.

i am helping others by helping myself.

i am leading by example. i am empowering others to nurture themselves by nurturing myself. i am helping others face their own truth by helping myself face my own truth. i am helping others transmute and transcend their own suffering by helping myself transmute and transcend my own suffering. 

i am pursuing remediation and regeneration of self

...and the attunement to my heart, my intuition and my guides by practicing mindful awareness of myself and my emotional, physical and mental reactions, as well as finding and utilizing wise and well designed ways to care for myself. by doing so i overcome reactiveness and cultivate responsiveness. 

i am balancing my envisioning and action taking with receptiveness

sometimes it takes a high place

my lineage 

farmer’s markets 

rain

the moon

the interwebz

challenges 

my fellow solutionaries 

hands

hearts

my hands, and fingers 

my piano 

the signs and synchronicity 

the support of my chosen family 

tools of empowerment: 

“why do i write books about the wordless essence of life? why do i try to say the unsayable? 

perhaps why is the wrong question. it seems the deeper the inner silence, the more naturally and effortlessly the words flow, finally liberated from their shackles, set free from the prison of conformity and correctness and the need to be liked or even heard. out of perfect stillness, this delicious music erupts, these creative and playful notes of myself, vibrant expressions of that preverbal silence at the core of everything, inviting you intimacy with your present moment, here and now. my words are your words are the words of life itself, ever offering themselves in remembrance of that which is never gone, and endlessly shining. 

i do not write or speak by myself, for myself, nor am i myself written or spoken, i can only remain radically open to the unexpected eruption of words. i am a house, ready for the children who call me Home to come running back from school, their cheeks rosy and stuffed with chocolate and expectation, and ready to let them go, as they finally leave for destinations and adventures unknown.”

~ Jeff Foster, Falling In Love With Where You Are 

moments like these, reading the words written by another and feeling as if they are my own, are the moments that i can truly be reminded of and held in the truth that is oneness of all. and it’s not a rare occurrence as of late. the more i open to the present moment and all it has to offer, the more i say yes to here and now without resistance, the easier it is to let go of seeking and that which i may seek reveals itself. the more i trust that my present experience, be it painful or joyful or anything else, is the experience i am meant to have and fully embrace, the more experiences i find to satisfy my deepest desires. this doesn’t mean i lay in bed all day waiting for the right experience to come to me. it means i get out of bed everyday and go about taking steps towards my goals trusting that even if i am tired, irritable, clumsy, mistaken, hurting, indecisive, or anything else, even if it feels like i am being met with dead end after dead end, i am in the right place. i am learning, growing, healing, completing, and i am learned, grown, healed and complete.