Do no harm but take no shit

1) I am thirty. Isn’t my period supposed to stop now? Can I quit buying tampons and diva cups and chocolate and rare steaks now? 

2) I have eaten my weight in every food i can find this christmas, which is good because I lost 11lbs this semester. 11. Ugh. Stupid stress and giant campus walking everywhere! One whole tray of fudge??  Yep. Me. an actual dozen of deviled eggs? Also me. No shame. Half and Half in the coffee every morning. BRING IT, CALORIES. 

3) I get to see Anna White tomorrow!!!! Except her last name isn’t white anymore it’s Bozard, so I have to remember that. My sweet lil Banana for NYE! so excited!

4) I’m visiting Colombia this summer (Medellin and Bogota) to study human trafficking in policy. I should spend about a month down there in the condo. And the Johnson clan has a big beach trip with all of us planned again soooooooo it’s gonna be a crispy-crunchy summer!!  <3 

Also, my sweet sweet love pea Beth is moving up to Buffalo on the 9th. I’m flying down to Texas and we’re roadtripping up to New York together in her car. She’s got a place, she’s looking for a job, we are in love. I feel so full. 

Also, after a semester of ignoring her and the rest of the world to focus exclusively on schoolwork, I continue to send her my mundane discoveries about the real world via text message commentary in the style of a stream-of-consciousness-like rapid fire succession. I must be horribly annoying. Kind of like an adult baby discovering its own hands for the first time. A few examples:

“the 2017 Pantone color of the year is greenery! omgggg I love GREEN!”

“I hope you know when we get an apartment I’m gonna decorate the shit outta it. We’ve gotta buy new stuff.”

“BAAAABE! I. NEED. A. BAROMETER. DO YOU KNOW THEY HAVE BAROMETERS?”

“Which phone wallpaper looks best? Option 1 or option 2?”

“Where’s the fucking exclamation point on this new iPhone?! Shit!” (She has an android)

“*photo of my grandma* ISN’T SHE CUTE?!?!”

“I’m eating Mexican. In a restaurant.”

. . . . soooo long story short i should get back in school soon bc i just tear through all the food and do nothing all day except re-discover the universe. Basically. Did you know Selena Gomez isn’t a thing anymore?? Also also, RuPaul’s drag race is where it is at and apparently they have an All-Stars thing! Wanna see. 

“Wanna go to the steam room and scare the shit out of the 20-somethings?”

“Oh no, no... Modesty is for them. You’re in a better space now.”