Welcome To The Mikey Kay Show...

You don't know what love is Bukowski said I'm 51 years old look at me I'm in love with this young broad I got it bad but she's hung up too so it's all right man that's the way it should be I get in their blood and they can't get me out They try everything to get away from me but they all come back in the end They all came back to me except the one I planted I cried over that one but I cried easy in those days Don't let me get onto the hard stuff man I get mean then I could sit here and drink beer with you hippies all night I could drink ten quarts of this beer and nothing it's like water But let me get onto the hard stuff and I'll start throwing people out windows I'll throw anybody out the window I've done it But you don't know what love is You don't know because you've never been in love it's that simple I got this young broad see she's beautiful She calls me Bukowski Bukowski she says in this little voice and I say What But you don't know what love is I'm telling you what it is but you aren't listening There isn't one of you in this room would recognize love if it stepped up and buggered you in the ass I used to think poetry readings were a copout Look I'm 51 years old and I've been around I know they're a copout but I said to myself Bukowski starving is even more of a copout So there you are and nothing is like it should be That fellow what's his name Galway Kinnell I saw his picture in a magazine He has a handsome mug on him but he's a teacher Christ can you imagine But then you're teachers too here I am insulting you already No I haven't heard of him or him either They're all termites Maybe it's ego I don't read much anymore but these people w! ho build reputations on five or six books termites Bukowski she says Why do you listen to classical music all day Can't you hear her saying that Bukowski why do you listen to classical music all day That surprises you doesn't it You wouldn't think a crude bastard like me could listen to classical music all day Brahms Rachmaninoff Bartok Telemann Shit I couldn't write up here Too quiet up here too many trees I like the city that's the place for me I put on my classical music each morning and sit down in front of my typewriter I light a cigar and I smoke it like this see and I say Bukowski you're a lucky man Bukowski you've gone through it all and you're a lucky man and the blue smoke drifts across the table and I look out the window onto Delongpre Avenue and I see people walking up and down the sidewalk and I puff on the cigar like this and then I lay the cigar in the ashtray like this and take a deep breath and I begin to write Bukowski this is the life I say it's good to be poor it's good to have hemorrhoids it's good to be in love But you don't know what it's like You don't know what it's like to be in love If you could see her you'd know what I mean She thought I'd come up here and get laid She just knew it She told me she knew it Shit I'm 51 years old and she's 25 and we're in love and she's jealous Jesus it's beautiful she said she'd claw my eyes out if I came up here and got laid Now that's love for you What do any of you know about it Let me tell you something I've met men in jail who had more style than the people who hang around colleges and go to poetry readings They're bloodsuckers who come to see if the poet's socks are dirty or if he smells under the arms Believe me I won't disappoint em But I want you to remember this there's only one poet in this room tonight only one poet in this town tonight maybe only one real poet in this country tonight and that's me What do any of you know about life What do any of you know about anything Which of you here has been fired from a job or else has beaten up your broad or else has been beaten up by your broad I was fired from Sears and Roebuck five times They'd fire me then hire me back again I was a stockboy for them when I was 35 and then got canned for stealing cookies I know what's it like I've been there I'm 51 years old now and I'm in love This little broad she says Bukowski and I say What and she says I think you're full of shit and I say baby you understand me She's the only broad in the world man or woman I'd take that from But you don't know what love is They all came back to me in the end too every one of em came back except that one I told you about the one I planted We were together seven years We used to drink a lot I see a couple of typers in this room but I don't see any poets I'm not surprised You have to have been in love to write poetry and you don't know what it is to be in love that's your trouble Give me some of that stuff That's right no ice good That's good that's just fine So let's get this show on the road I know what I said but I'll have just one That tastes good Okay then let's go let's get this over with only afterwards don't anyone stand close to an open window

warning my hands on bridges I've burnt 🙌🏼🔥

Being single is all fun & games until you realise it's a never ending cycle of you getting to know someone, you eventually stop messaging each other, then they watch your Instagram story every day until you die.

We're of the earth, not on the earth. (at The Pinnacle Lookout)

What better way to show your friends how much you love them than by shooting them with paint balls that leave huge bruises everywhere!? Half our crew that day aren't in this photo because they had already changed out of their gear, but it was a pleasure shooting you all.

People are so quick to tell you gluten is unhealthy, but so is that relationship you're in stupid. 🍞😂

Generic NGV tourist photo 💀✌🏼 Lulu: What pose we doing? Mikey: Crouch down. I'll stand. It's hip-hop album cover time. *turns to me* Lulu: Why do you get to stand? *SNAP* 📸 I legit have the best friends ever, always down for my stupid shit 😂💙 (at NGV Triennial)

Be brave, be mindful & be wise. Fall in love with taking care of yourself first. Mind. Body. Spirit.

Throwback to the 'boys camping trip' where my dad and I both brought out best mates along. Oh and that video of the sunset doesn't have a filter on it. 🌅👌🏼 (at Irymple, Victoria)

She say 'Do you love me?' I tell her 'Only partly... I only love @djcrystalcartier & @paolachirico ; I'm sorry...' 😂💙 (at Laundry Bar)

I'm thinking about horses, they're so God damn regal. Their muscles ripple through their skin like waves in a little ocean. Magnificent beasts. But why the fuck do they listen to us? They're so much stronger than they know, but they trade their freedom for a dependable meal. They let people get on top of them and tell them where to go. But how can I judge? Is that not exactly what I do? Is that not exactly what we all do? I'm thinking about horses. -mansionz

Having an amazing bday with amazing friends? Oh yeah, once in a super blue blood moon... Jan 31 - 2018 🌚👌🏼 The first super blue blood moon eclipse to be visible in Australia in 150 years.

Snakes don't hiss anymore. They call you babe or bro. 🐍😂