Notes from Hypertime

It's my 12 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

It occurred to me that some fanfic authors are very young, and have grown up on tropes. As you go your way in the world, you will discover that people act differently. Here are some things I've gained from being an adult in the real world for a long time:

No unattached adult man has ever gone into a flower shop, except to buy flowers for his mother, and you can get those at the supermarket.

Your local barista may not, in fact, be looking forward all day to the 20 seconds you spend buying coffee. They work in the service industry. It is their job to be pleasant so that you will come back. They may just want to get through their shift and go home.

People mostly buy cakes at places that sell food in general, not shops that specifically sell cakes.

If you did have your soulmate's first words written on your body, they mostly likely would just be "Hey" or "Hello" like everyone else.

If there was a deadly disease that could be contracted due to un-confessed love, the most logical thing to do is to immediately confess your love to everyone in your social circle, whether you are the victim or they are, so they don't die.

Very few cozy towns have extremely hardcore S&M clubs.

You can meet someone, not like them upon first impression, and then continue to have that impression because they are not very likeable.

Very few people with colds, the flu, and/or high fevers are interested in having sex.

Sex is not a good way to cool off during a heatwave.

You can share a bed with someone of the same sex and not be gay. Interesting note: teenage boys will often refuse to share a bed with other teenage boys and opt to sleep on the floor or in the bathtub because of learned homophobia, and the fact that teenage boys are generally gross. Good hotels will provide you with a cot if requested.

It is harder than you think to get so drunk in Vegas as to accidentally get married to your best friend. They have legal safeguards against that.

Being a camboy/camgirl or a porn star is not the glamorous life you may think it is.

I have been informed by reliable sources that the first time you have sex actually kind of sucks.