HOLY HANDS; MAKE ME A SINNER.

INSTAGRAM -- @sincerelyjane uploaded a new photo

Yes, I live out of my car. Left home. You know all that good shit.

All that good shit? Is this a moment of rebellion for you or is this more permanent? Because living out of your car isn’t all that ideal. Especially when it comes to sleeping. I know you may not care but sleeping in a car is a sure way to ruin your back and good posture. 

Cough skanks cough.

Maybe next time they come in, you should “accidentally” spill coffee on ‘em. Two burns with one stone, am I right?

I won’t confirm or deny that but I will say, my favorite kind of tea is green tea and it tastes just delightful right now. 

C’mon, I figured someone like you would appreciate the sentiment of true vintage fashion. If it had smallpox in it, we’d all already know by now.

That sounds like something you should appreciate from a distance and if you do plan on getting up close, one should be prepared with a can of Lysol. I think those type of hippies are more likely be affected by dysentery. At least they smell like they’ve hit the Oregon trail a few times. 

I do, I like to be organized and there’s nothing worse than shuffling your music when you’re in the mood for one particular setting. Like I always listen to instrumentals when I’m studying ‘cause they’re less distracting, but when I’m walking a dog or walking to school, I like something more fun and upbeat. But, I understand what you mean. Digital enhancing has gone a long way. 

I tend to be the same way at times. You didn’t hear this from me but try video game music while studying, the music has been scientifically proven to help you focus better. Correct. Digital enhancing is like instant stardom. Granted you have the right look and a large number of instagram followers. 

Wait, what? A surgeon has a flag that says Lima Pride on it? That must be quite the eyesore, indeed. Like I get that you want to show pride in where you live, but can you at least be tactful about it? I don’t blame you, though. I would have hired a skank to do it, too. I bet if you gave Stoner Brett $5 he would do it in a heartbeat.

Tomorrow night? Meet me at my place and we can figure it out from there. 

I was thinking along the lines of a high-five, kit kat and a promise to stop calling him Brendon. I’m not sure he’s worth five dollars, but I’ll think about it. 

Do you honestly think people don’t shower on purpose? That’s ridiculous. I’m homeless and I still shower. It’s just common sense to shower and be clean.

Of course. There’s a whole subculture of people who purposely don’t shower. Wait. Homeless?

While deodorant is certainly called for, might I suggest just taking a full blown shower? Even the homeless should be expected to engage in proper personal hygiene. There’s a homeless shelter and a public pool for a reason. I don’t want to think about the dandruff that ends up in our coffee cups and booth seats from the heathens that don’t know how to use proper hair care products.

Dandruff hadn’t crossed my thought process. Now I’m disgusted all over again. Oh my God, Kurt. What if those droplets of water on the table and seats sometimes aren’t actually water but sweat? 

Do you honestly think people don’t shower on purpose? That’s ridiculous. I’m homeless and I still shower. It’s just common sense to shower and be clean.

Well, you know what they say. Common sense isn’t so common. And apparently, for some people at the Lima Bean, neither are showers. So tell a fellow friend: take one. It’ll make their day better and our noses rejoice. 

I just think it’s rude because sometimes people can’t control that kinda shit. Public shaming ain’t cool.

And I think it’s rude when people purposely don’t shower. So I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree. I didn’t name anyone specific, so can you really consider it public shaming?

Sometimes it’s hard to shower right after the gym or practice. I totally get what you’re saying but people stop there before going home. Or at least that’s what I’d do. Not that I’d go to the Lima Bean after a workout cause that’s not what you’re supposed to do at all. I guess that was a huge sidenote? But yeah, I totally get what you mean. I love showers.

Believe it or not, there’s a clear difference between stale smell and just-worked-out-smell. I don’t know why, but there is. That’s my thought exactly -- showers are great! You get clean, sound wonderful singing and have genius albeit somewhat terrifying ideas while in the shower! But I guess not everyone shares that sentiment. 

Ah, ok, that makes sense. It can be fun to dance to right? I mean, that bad liar song isn’t so bad when in sunny and you’re driving around. The younger siblings in my house seem to like to dance around to it. 

Why do I get the feeling you have a playlist for everything? But no, it’s not inherently a bad thing per se, it just seems people forget what vocals actually are in this day and age. But Bad Liar was indeed a bop and I’ve often danced to it in my room. I mean, I loved the song Wild Thoughts even if I think Rihanna isn’t quite the best singer out there. I just wish they didn’t sound like they had mush mouth.

Call me crazy but I bet that Titan Red looks real damn good on you Jane. Especially with a nice big 5 on it. That’s like rock concerts and shit. Football is just a lot of yelling. Well, considering you’re a woman of class, I’d say it’ll take a good solid three months of impressing you before you actually let me impress you.

Look at you. Being a little flatterer so you’ll have more groupies in your squad. That’s so cute. But ... fine. For you, Finn. I’ll rock a Jersey. But just know I’m getting it customized and tailored. Oh. So I just ... yell? Like ... the entire time? Only three months? You’re quite confident. You know, I’m going to hold you to that. If your arms aren’t cannons within that time, you owe me.

… no. I have more than enough. I’m just saying as a whole in society. Don’t be fuckin’ rude about it. 

I wasn’t being rude. I was being helpful. Good smells release endorphins and endorphins make you happy. I think. I don’t remember the science behind it. We’ll have to ask a nerd later but the point remains: I was being helpful. 

I agree with the personal hygiene statement but what exactly is a whisper-queen?

Whisper queen. Think people like Selena Gomez. No actual vocals, they’re just mumbling throughout the entire track about unrequited love and lackluster lust and for some reason, it passes for singing. What a time to be alive, right?

It’s hot out, people have proactive sweat glands that no matter how many times they clean themselves they just sweat and most deodorant is shitty and overpriced for the record.

Do you want me to buy you deodorant, Mason? Is that what you’re getting at? Speedstick is only 1.50 at the local dollar store. I’m a good person so I can do that for you.

Probably one of those barefoot, quinoa and lentil eating hippies. It’s a fad that’s spreading like the flu, and the only good thing out of it is that most of them sell pretty cheap stuff out of their cars. My new jacket might be worth it, though, non-apologies to your nose.

You should have just said “twig eating hippies.” You would have wasted less time and I’d be a little less disgusted. Oh -- but there it is. That disgust again. I’m sorry ... but are you actually going to wear that coat? Because if so, my nose will accept your lack of an apology and insist that instead, you give it to your wardrobe.