Dizzy Daisy

Monday, September 9, 2024, 21:38

“I cannot fucking. Believe. You.” Chan slams the hotel room door as he comes in. “I told you to apologize to her, and what did you fucking do?”

Chan yanks back the chair Seungmin is sitting in and grabs his collar to bring him to his feet. He sees Seungmin’s eyes widen in surprise and he can’t help but think he’s finally getting through to him. After days of trying to get him to listen and calm the fuck down with the students, he’s finally taking it seriously, only when he’s being yelled at. 

“So, first of all, Jisung tells me you were yelling at Luna while she cried during the lesson. Then, I get a text from Luna telling me you called her hopeless? What about that is apologetic?”

“N—nothing—“

“‘N—nothing!’” Chan can’t help but mock Seungmin. He’s given warnings, he’s given Seungmin chances to change his behavior. By this point, nothing is going to get through to him but straight up yelling and threats. Chan doesn’t even understand the motive behind bullying a child. “You can’t just blame not wanting to do this show anymore. That’s not a fucking excuse to bully a child!”

“Get off of me.” That’s all Seungmin responds with, pushing and pulling against Chan’s hold on him. 

Chan listens, letting go by shoving Seungmin onto his bed so he wouldn’t get hurt. “What’s your excuse this time, huh?” Chan raises an eyebrow at Seungmin, waiting for the answer. 

“I don’t have one.” Seungmin answers too calmly, sitting up and staring at the ground. 

Chan can’t help it. He laughs. He laughs at the absurdity. He laughs at the fact Seungmin might just think that having no excuse and admitting his wrongs will make Chan feel better. “I am so done with your bullshit. You know what? Don’t even go near Luna anymore. That was on me for even thinking you could grow up for half an hour to apologize and help her out.”

Seungmin sits up straighter. “Why do you care that much about that kid? She’s a talentless loser who wants to be near us because she’s a fan! Why the hell do you keep defending her? Aren’t you worried she’ll be like a sasaeng?”

“You haven’t brought that up at all, only when I’m finally pissed the fuck off at you. What isn’t clicking in your damn mind that you’ve crossed the line, Seungmin? She’s a fan, but so are at least ten other kids in the show. She hasn’t done anything wrong to deserve how you’ve been treating her.”

“You don’t know that—”

“What then? What the absolute fuck did she do that deserves you shitting on her every chance you get? Huh? What is it, Seungmin? Tell me what the fuck is going on in that stupid little head of yours!” 

Chan can’t even hold his volume down anymore. He keeps getting louder and louder. He jabs a finger at Seungmin, poking his forhead.

Seungmin doesn’t even answer him this time. He just keeps staring up at him, wide puppy eyes on display like that’s supposed to break Chan down and make him feel bad. 

“If you say anything out of line to her, I’ll fucking make you regret it.” Chan turns on his heel and leaves the room. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2024, 7:02

Chan rubs at his eyes, fixes the lyric sheet on the piano. Uyen had told him she might be late considering her group is having their group practice currently. She starts there only to run all the way downstairs to the practice rooms on the opposite side of the school, then run back for first period.  Chan feels tired just thinking about it. And all of that running before 7:30 in the morning. 

There’s a knock on the practice room door and Uyen comes in, out of breath. “Sorry, I’m late. People walk so slow.”

Chan smiles and waves off her apology. “Take a breather, then we can start.”

“Okay!”

She sets her backpack on the chair in the corner. Honestly, Chan was torn about what exactly their lesson should focus on. She has an average skill level in every field, just a bit better in singing than dancing or stage presence. The issue with her singing is that it follows too much of a choral route. Yes, the choral technique can definitely come in handy in the long run for healthy singing, but she needs to find a way to blend it into her pop style. But luckily, that’s what Chan is there for. 

“I’ve noticed that when you sing, the sound is a bit too far back, which is good in choral singing but can cause instability when dancing on stage. Try to keep the sound forward, okay?” Uyen soaks up every word he says with no issue. 

After a few minutes, they start and he listens intently. Uyen adjusts better than Chan would’ve expected. 

“Okay, how about trying that with the dancing aspect?” Chan turns to face her rather than the piano. “I can help with the dance if needed too, if you have any questions.” 

When Uyen dances to her part while singing, her voice is surprisingly steady. It’s just more proof than Chan was underestimating the kids in this school. Each time he sees the students working in a group together, he feels more guilty. He shouldn’t have been so doubtful.

She doesn’t even complain when Chan has her run it over and over again until the starting school bell rings. She smiles and waves when she leaves, like she’s happy to be doing this, like it’s no big deal at all. It’s so unlike some of the other kids who whine and gripe and claim they’re just messing around. 

With a sigh, Chan stands from the piano bench, stretching his arms to the ceiling. He already knows today will be exhausting just because of all he has to do today. He's already recruited Changbin and Jisung to go with him to the craft store to find what they'll need for the mum event on Thursday.

It's frustrating to have to buy everything himself with his own money. They have a company, they're here because of said company. The higher-ups should be the ones covering this, not him. Quite frankly, he doesn't even know the expenses they can cover for filming sets. Their managers don't even know. It's like they were thrown into this and told to make do. Fortunately, the managers also find it ridiculous and are letting them spend however much they want until the company tells them no.

So when Chan checks his email as he waits, there's confirmation for all four filming areas Zayan suggested. There's a club downtown for the Break Up Song group, an empty warehouse for the Bad Idea group, a museum gallery for the Hall of Fame group, and an unscheduled theater for the Bye, Bye, Bye group. Unfortunately, there's also an email from the company, complaining about the money spent.

Chan expected the response to be upset. What he didn't expect was for the company to claim there will be no more money supplied to the show until there is view count "worth spending on".

He stares at the email until there's a knock on the practice room door and Changbin and Jisung waltz in. They're smiling and laughing, happy and carefree, but the moment they see Chan seemingly upset, their smiles fade.

Chan looks up at them and decides he can't exactly hide this. "So, the plan to play the company as long as we could has come to an end sooner than we thought."

Jisung closes the door as the air seems to get stale. Changbin moves the chairs from the corner to be beside the piano bench, him and Jisung sitting down. Chan places his laptop down on the bench as Changbin starts. "I'm assuming they're cutting the budget even more?"

"Worse." Chan sighs. "They're not going to fund it at all until they decide the number of viewers is good enough."

"But that could be any time or not at all!" Changbin snaps loudly. "Do they think anyone would watch a low budget show? How are we going to have open voting if there's no funding for a website? Are we supposed to have the kids in charge of costumes and makeup every round?"

"We can have a fundraiser." Jisung says almost too calmly. Both Chan and Changbin look at him before he begins elaborating. "We may not be able to do it through the school, since then it will be very strict and likely only during school hours, but if we can have the kids involved, we have get funds from all over the town."

"That would be too much stress on the kids to have them also raising funds to keep the show running. We have to do it on our own." Chan frowns. The last thing he wants is for this to fall onto the students all because he wanted to poke the sleeping bear.

Changbin sighs, leaning back in his chair. "We can think about this later. Are the filming sights approved at least?"

Nodding, Chan picks up his laptop again. "Yeah, all of them. Fortunately, the company will still have editors for us, so at least we don't have to worry about everything." Chan types a bit before listing off the filming sights.

Jisung speaks up again. "So after the videos go out, somehow we'll have a voting platform and that'll be it?"

Chan nods.

It's quiet for a long moment before Jisung talks, like what he's suggesting was obvious. "Why don't we have the kids perform in front of a live audience? We can charge ticket costs. The auditorium of the school fits how many? 600? If we charge 7 bucks for a ticket, that's 4,200. It's not enough for the rest of the show, but it may be enough for a round."

There's more silence as Chan thinks it over. "We'll need approval from the principal, of course, but that's… that's the best idea we're going to get on such short notice."

"What if we also hold betting for kids in a range of ranks, like I'll bet Viet will be in ranks 24 to 29—"

Chan stops him. "Jisung, we are not placing bets on the kids."

"Gambling is a disease. It'll work."

"No."

08:59

Chan adjusts his mask on his face. He stares at the ribbons for various high schools in the area, each with either the school' names or abbreviations on a blank slate of the schools' colors. For Clear Ridge High School, there's a maroon ribbon with the school's name in gray letters, a similar one with the school's abbreviation, then exact copies with the colors swaped. They're all the same, yet all different. Chan can't help but wonder what the whole point is in general.

He's too focused to notice when Jisung sneaks up behind him and brings a stuffed wolf to his shoulder. He nearly jumps out of his skin when Jisung tickles his neck with it.

Of course, Jisung just laughs at him. "Hyung, look, it's you!"

Chan does as told, looking at the wolf. It's the Clear Ridge mascot, so really, instead of its name being WolfChan, it's Wilkie. He takes the wolf from Jisung. It's cute with it's large eyes and Clear Ridge bandana around its neck. "Buy it."

Jisung's eyes light up. "Really?" Anyone would've assumed Chan just approved him buying a new video game. He places Wilkie in the basket where a child would be placed, using the seatbelt to buckle him in. Chan just goes back to the ribbon. Until Jisung talks for Wilkie. "I think Wilkie likes them all."

With a small sigh, Chan nods. They have nearly thirty kids to buy for anyway, so he grabs several of each ribbon as well as extra ones that are plain glitter. He buys some plastic add ons like he'd seen in pictures although he doesn't exactly know their purpose. He also buys some bells and whistles that he also doesn't understand the purpose of. But he's seen them in pictures, so they must be necessary.

Eventually, Changbin reappears, arms full of small, fake flowers. "I have 29! Should I go back for extras?"

He drops them in the basket and Chan thinks for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, get maybe ten more. We should make some for ourselves. Technically, us and any boys in the show should be making garters, but they're basically the same thing." Chan finishes, going back to looking at more trinkets. If there's going to be more than 30, then they'll need more supplies.

"Hyung," Jisung calls Chan once Changbin has gone back to the aisle of mums. "I've been thinking of ways to get whatever audience we have more attatched to the contestants so they'll keep coming back. What if we have the kids all complete profiles of simple information. Like, have them pick emojis, colors, animals; they can give their Instagrams so fans can show them support during and after the show, and they can take the MBTI test. We could also assess them and give them graded ranks based on the assessment and observations—"

"When are we going to have the time—"

"We can assess them during the mum event and we can just send them the MBTI test today and tell them to finish it by tomorrow."

Jisung smiles like he's ready to tackle any question. Chan has several. "How will we make sure no colors overlap?"

"We ask the shades they like too."

"The Instagrams—"

"We advise them to have a public one for the show and a private anonymous one!"

"What would the assessments—"

"I think the top categories should be singing, rapping, dancing, teamwork, and stage presence or charisma."

Chan stares. "Do you have all of this thought out already?"

"Of course."

Sighing, Chan reaches out to grab more ribbons. "Let's do it. What do we have to lose?"

Jisung's smile brightens. "I also have an idea for the website. I overheard some of the kids talking about some advanced classes they've taken. Apparently, Jesse has taken coding. What if we got him to work on the website?"

Despite not wanting Jesse to overextend himself, Chan is getting to the point where his options are running thin. Having Jesse make the site just might be the best option. "Okay, we can ask him."

14:55

Chan shuts off his phone as the practice room door opens and Mai tentatively walks in. Her outfit is familiar and it makes Chan smile before starting to laugh. A striped swimsuit with denim shorts and white wedges. "You like Nayeon?"

Mai smiles back, nodding her head. She pulls her jacket tighter around herself before laughing as well. "I almost got dress-coded." She zips the jacket up halfway. "Jesse gave me his jacket."

She reaches up to fix the red flower in her hair as she settles into the room. If Chan could, he'd make their lesson centered around rapping, but Mai isn't on any rapping lines in the groups songs. There really isn't even any rapping lines. Instead, they're doing vocals, which she needs little to no help on, at least in this song.

"So, how's everything in your group going? Is everyone being A team player?" Chan feels dumb asking, like a teacher asking a student how their recess was.

Mai nods. "Everyone is really good. Like, scary good." Chan knows she's lying, not because of her body language, but because he knows who's in every group. Many of the girls in her group are in choir, however, he's been observing the choir long enough to know that many of the girls in varsity don't deserve to be there. Sophie's mouth is never open enough to be making a proper sound. Chrissa and Brooke sing well, but they lack overall control. That's not as necessary in pop music thanks to things like autotune, so Chan would guess they'll rank high on skill alone, but he couldn't lie and say the same for Rin. He and the guys had agreed, Rin has confidence but not the skill nor the stage presence, at least that Chan has seen or heard of from Minho's recounts.

"Luna has sort of been our leader. I wouldn't have expected it but all the girls started listening to her. Well, all but Rin." Mai grimaces.

Chan frowns. "What do you mean?"

Mai hesitates. "Well, Rin isn't exactly the best 'team player'. Luna always tries to help, but Rin is always kind of rude. I mean, I'm sure she doesn't mean anything by it, but it just gets sort of… I don't know. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but it's like I'm scared to talk because I think she'll snap at me. And I just don't know now Luna can handle Rin and not Seungmin. I assume it's because she has her friends with her but—"

"Wait, wait, wait." Chan cuts her off, leaning forward. "How do you know about her and Seungmin?"

Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open. "Uhh…"

When she takes a nervous step back, Chan forces himself to lean back again with his hands up. "Hey, I'm not mad, you're not in trouble, I just need to know where you heard it."

"Viet told me."

"And what did he say? Exact words, please." he adds the please as an afterthought.

"Umm, I don't remember exactly, but I think he said something like… 'Luna's finally getting the 'anxiety' scared out of her. Hopefully Seungmin yells enough to scare her away.'"

Chan sighs and runs a hand down his face. "Do you know where he heard it from?"

Mai just shakes her head.

Another sigh comes out as Chan thinks. The last thing they needed was gossip over all of this to get out. With Viet of all people knowing, blabbing about it to who knows who, if Seungmin can't make up with Luna in the slightest, soon everyone will know something is up.

"When did he tell you?"

Mai is quiet for a moment as she thinks. "I think he told us afterschool on Monday. We were all at the Main Event together. All of the Hall of Fame group and the C-crew."

Chan thinks he could cry if he wasn't in front of Mai right now. He nods with another sigh. "Thank you for telling me. Let's just get on with the lesson. I'll send a message out to you and everyone you told me later. Remember, you're not in any trouble, okay?"

She nods, but Chan still sees the worry in her eyes. She must genuinely care about this show to be this worried about facing consequences. Chan decides the best thing to do is fully move on. "Okay, you start the song. How does that feel?"

The mood seems to lighten a bit. Chan notices her shoulders relax as she unzips the jacket and takes it off. "I think its pretty good so far. I think my biggest problem spot is the bridge. I've never been a singer so putting in emotion is hard."

Chan nods, looking at the lyric sheet. "I get that it takes some getting used to. it must also be hard singing a break-up song when you're never experienced one."

Mai lets out an awkward laugh. "And hope to never experience one."

Chan tries to keep the mood up. "Right. So, imagine for this… imagine you have a boyfriend that's an asshole." Luckily, that gets a laugh out of her. "He breaks up with you, thinking that it'll hurt you, but you're actually relieved about it because you really are good without him, like the song says."

"So like… I'm relieved about him leaving me?" Mai tilts her head.

Nodding, Chan stands. He gets into the stance he knows Mai is in to start the bridge. "You're a dancer, you know the audience is never supposed to see your thinking. I'm not worried about your face, but face and emotions in singing go hand in hand. If you look relieved you'll sound relieved."

Chan raises an arm above his head like Mai does in her part. As he sings her lines, he tries to show what he means, looking and sounding like he's at ease now that a toxic person is out of his life. Mai, like Uyen this morning, soaks it up like a sponge.

He lets her try after and it goes better then expected. A slight smile, a relieved sigh as she sings. It's almost perfect already. Almost only because Chan believes it can always be better.

15:31

Chan rushes to the 'picture taking wall'. It's had that nickname ever since they started using it daily to take pictures against during homecoming week. It almost makes him want to keep using it after. But pictures would be so much better if they had professional backgrounds like filming sets. He's sure the kids who call it the 'picture taking wall' would agree.

Jisung and Luna are already at the wall, laughing and joking with each other. Chan han't heard Luna sing or seen the dance, but if Jisung thinks she's good, then there has to be some truth there. He and Seungmin may disagree more often than not, but Jisung wouldn't lie just to oppose him.

"Sorry, I'm here. Came as fast as I could." Chan is slightly out of breath from rushing but quickly pulls out his phone to take a picture. Realistically, he could've had another member take the picture and send it to him, but he would rather take all the pictures himself, even if it means keeping kids after school.

Luna waves off his apology like it's nothing. "I had to miss my bus to stay, so I'm here until my mom can pick me up at, like, five."

Chan frowns. "You should've told us! We would've taken your picture during the day."

"You told us 3racha would be going to buy mum things during school hours."

"We were here during first, sixth and seventh periods."

"Those are my important classes." Luna scrunches her nose. "I don't even leave those classes for the restroom, let alone going across the school for a picture. Besides, I can practice in the choir room until I leave."

Chan just nods with a sigh. "Okay, lets just take the picture so you can get to practicing."

For each homecoming day theme they've picked kids to take pictures of. Usually it's of a group, but nobody dressed as an identifiable group today and unfortunately, they had to be very selective of who they took pictures of. If they want the kids to not get canceled before they even debut, they had to be careful of who they took pictures of. As funny as Amelia's Pitbull costume was, they don't know now well that would go with the public, specifically non-American viewers. They've seen idols nearly canceled for for less.

After the picture is taken, Luna grabs her backpack from the opposite wall and slings it over a shoulder. "You know, this day's theme was originally going to be 'dress as your type,' but some admin didn't want boys dressing in skirts."

"Huh? That was their main concern?" Jisung asks as he falls into place beside Luna walking back to the fine arts hall. Chan quickly rushes to follow as Luna begins answering.

She shrugs. "As far as I know, that was their only concern, barely at that — only one or two teachers. Nothing about blackface or cultural appropriation. Just boys in skirts. You know, typical Texas priorities. Which is ironic, because every year for Halloween, we get at least two guys in maid outfits."

Chan laughs out a scoff as Jisung frowns. "Now I want to wear a skirt just to make people mad."

"They will not care." Luna shrugs. "They only care if it's a large number or something. Not individual."

Chan stops walking, watching them go into the choir room. Since when has Jisung been so comfortable around new people that could cancel him at the snap of a finger?

Tuesday, September 10, 2024, 06:48

“I think we’re as good as ready!” Luna claps her hands and gives a big thumbs up as she turns to face the group. Her smile is bright and far too happy for how early in the morning it is. 

Amelia quickly interrupts, stepping in front of her. “Well, I wouldn’t say that. There’s still lots of minor details everyone needs to work on. I do think there’s been a lot of improvement in the last few days, though!”

Stifling a smile, Minho stands and walks over. “Do you want me to take over how I do my group's practices?” He only asks to get them to listen to Amelia like they’re meant to, however several of the girls nod eagerly. He raises an eyebrow to look skeptical for the cameras watching, but he fails and has to force down a laugh when he sees Luna starting to bounce on the balls of her feet, shaking Brooke’s shoulder. 

“If you really want it, I can do it, but it won’t be easy.” He says that, but he’s sure everyone can tell he’s bluffing. He doesn’t think he could even fathom treating these kids like he does the guys, and not just because he likes slapping the guys’ asses. These kids have so much on their plates at every given moment, the plates that are holding their entire futures. Putting too much pressure on them so fast feels so wrong. They'll grow to expect harsh practice, but that's not something they need now.

Still, as most of the girls jump on the bandwagon of agreeing, Minho is forced to actually follow through with his suggestion. He has the girls start from the top, but when they mess up, he doesn't stay silent.

“Rin, you’re off on the beat, fix it. Sophie, you missed the turn. And the arm wave. And the step out. Luna, I’ve seen you do the hair flip, do it. I don’t care if you’re worried about the gray makeup. Whoa, Uyen, don’t trip.”

He's still far too nice. He only considers it harsher because he started off not commenting at all. His words aren’t at all what he would be using with the guys. If he’s being honest, he would probably be cursing at the guys for the same mistakes the kids are making. He definitely isn’t treating the kids the same as his group. 

“Is this really you being how you are with the others?” Luna asks him out of the blue when their first run through comes to an end. Minho would’ve expected a comment like that had he been picking on everyone but her, but he had tried to keep the comments even over everyone. He called out her bent arms and her off timing despite them only being minor issues. “I mean, I know you’re definitely being harsher than before, but isn’t it still kind of, well, kind?”

Minho blinks. He thought he was being pretty rough considering they’re all kids. “I won’t treat you just like them. They’ve had years. You’re just starting. You can’t be held to the same standard.” 

Luna nods, but her face almost looks hurt. “Okay, that makes sense. Sorry.”

“You’re fine, don’t worry. How’s everyone else doing? Any trouble on anything?” He addresses the group. Now that they know the entirety of the choreography, they should work on any parts that are minor troubles. 

But the trouble spots end up being the entirety of the song. Rin says they need to work on the ending. Uyen says the pre-chorus. Sophie says the chorus. Everyone says a different part that would need a lot of work for each. 

By the time the girls leave, Minho is already sweaty. He’s glad that for the dress up day, they actually were able to go without makeup for the day. He’s sure the makeup would be running, and he still has all day to work, go around the school, everywhere that he wants to be presentable going to. 

When the next group comes in for their practice time, Minho doesn’t want to stand up to help out. But he has to. Felix is too nice to take control when the kids are so confident in their mediocre abilities. And of course, the cockiest person of all the show is in this group. 

The Hall of Fame group comes in and takes their time getting to work. Fortunately, Felix isn’t a total pushover. He rushes the kids into their spots to start the song. However, Viet questions him.

“Do we really have to jump right in? Can’t we do stretches or something first? We have all the choreo learned anyway.”

Minho watches Felix ponder this before agreeing. “Okay, stretches are a good way to start. Ivy, you lead.” 

Watching the way Viet rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue, Minho smiles at Felix. He’s glad he’s not the only one getting sick of Viet being “in charge.” By that, he’s not really in charge, he just always acts like he is. And it’s irritating. 

Even with Ivy in charge, Viet tries to make sly comments about how he could’ve done it better. But they’re just comments. Minho can’t exactly tape his mouth shut. There’s no real way of making sure he stops. 

The practice ends with the kids barely practicing the first half of the song. Minho’s head hurts trying to figure out how they can get a better practice out of them tomorrow. Absolutely nothing comes to mind. The only thing he can think of that might shock Viet into a better team-player is if he gets a low rank after the first round. But even then, that’ll be at the expense of the others in the group that have to stick out the round at his side. Minho hopes that the kids will get the recognition they deserve.

09:35

Minho walks into the classroom with the cameras behind him. There’s only two students in this class that are in the competition: Amelia and Luna. When Minho walks in, he sees them both, but on opposite sides of the room. Amelia is talking with a group of girls and the teacher while Luna is typing away on her laptop. Minho decides to start with her.

“What are you typing?” He sits at the desk beside hers but jumps when she closes her laptop. 

“An essay for English. It was due this morning.”

“And you’re just writing it now?”

Luna nods. Minho nods too. He gets procrastination. Not to this extent, but he gets it.

“Amelia would probably have more interesting clips for right now. She's over there.” Luna starts to open her laptop again as she points across the classroom at Amelia. 

Minho doesn’t even follow her finger, staring at Luna instead. “Your back will hurt if you keep sitting like that. Straighten up.”

“Okay, mom.” Luna says before she blinks and straightens up like he said. “Sorry! I didn't mean that!” 

Minho laughs and points at her laptop. “Get to work! You can’t keep being in the show if you start failing.”

She stiffens and leans in, muttering, “Are you guys really implementing no-pass-no-play?”

“I don’t know what that is, but if you fail we’re going to lighten up on your workload which can impact your place in the rankings. Chan promised the principal we would prioritize your education.”

“Since when are you fluent in English?” Luna gawks at him switching to an unrelated topic. 

“Don’t change the subject.” Minho points a finger at her and stays quiet for a minute before mumbling. “It’s easier to pretend to be clueless.” He’s not lying, he’s always acted less sure of himself to avoid being targeted in interviews. But now it’s different. He can’t act stupid around these kids. He’s one of their mentors. 

And he isn’t really fluent, just a little better than what he’s let on. 

“Technically not changing the subject. I am working on English right now.”

“You know what I mean.” Minho stifles his smile. He didn’t think working with kids would ever be considered fun, but he’s warming up to it far quicker than he thought he would. He understood Seungmin’s frustration for it at first, but if he can warm up to some younger-than-ideal coworkers, so should Seungmin.

At one point, all their issues with the show were valid. They thought they’d be wasting time. But now, their number of views is going up, the kids are enjoyable, reviews are far more positive than they thought they would be. There’s no reason Minho can think of for Seungmin to be such an asshole, especially to the girl right in front of him now. 

15:02

“Do you have the least lines and least center time?” Minho studies the sheet with Simon’s lines as he sits on the piano bench. 

“No, second to last. Sawyer has the least.” Simon smiles. “Tracy has the most.” 

“Makes sense. It’s an Ariana Grande song, so the one with the highest voice has the most lines and is in front most often.” Minho looks up at Simon to start just as the boy starts nodding. 

“Zoe distributed the lines and she cares a lot about this show and us. She tried to give each of us the lines that fit us best.” 

“She’s one of the dancers, right?”

“Yes! She’s an awesome dancer, dude. Everyone from the C-crew is cool.”

“I’ve heard. Felix talks about your group a lot.”

“Really?” Simon’s smile instantly becomes brighter and he runs a hand through his hair. “Oh my god, I look up to him so much, that’s so cool.”

To Minho, Simon is like Luna — a sane fan. They both knew about the group prior to the show, and they’re both open about that. They’re both vocal about being fans. It’s not like some of the other kids that try to act clueless and just make fools of themselves saying things like “You’re a rapper?” to Changbin who’s helped several students in front of them with rap skills, or “You’re the youngest?” to Jeongin who told them he was the youngest when speaking to the students as a whole group. They don’t know what information they’ve been told directly and what they only know from being fans. So they pretend to know nothing. 

“So, your first line is in the first chorus. How do you feel about it?” 

“It’s more nerve wracking just being the first person to start the chorus. It’s like… no matter how well I know the choreography, I still feel like it’s not enough.”

Minho nods. It’s stage anxiety. He gets it, and he knows many other people who do too. “It’ll get better with time, at least a little bit. Either that or you get used to ignoring the feeling.”

That gets a little laugh from Simon. “I’m glad I can get past it easily. Not everyone can do that.”

Minho feels like Simon is insinuating someone specific, but he ignores it. No names are mentioned and he doesn’t have to bring one up. 

Standing from the piano bench, Minho moves the two chairs in the room to be in front of the door, freeing up more space. Their lesson is meant to be dance specific, but they can’t have them in the dance room since the Bye, Bye, Bye group practices right after school and Break Up Song practices right before. There can’t exactly be a group practice and a solo lesson going on at the same time in the same room. 

They have to make do with the limited space. Luckily, Simon doesn’t seem bothered. “When I slide to the front I tend to get off center. It doesn't affect anyone else, but it bothers me.”

“Okay, I’ll play the track starting at Trinh’s part. Just dance along, don’t worry about singing if you don’t want to.” Minho plays the original version of the song rather than the instrumental so Simon can mark where he is based on lyrics as well as music. He starts off just fine, at least for what Minho expects. There’s a few moments where he’s off, but he’s a kid with little to no experience. For having never done this before, he’s pretty good. 

When he hits his first line in the chorus, he slides forward just a little late, and Minho stops the music. “That’s the issue. You’re just slightly off beat and try to make up for it by rushing and it makes you go off center. Start coming forward while Jesse is still meant to be in front of you. When he moves away, you’ll be right in center.”

Simon nods and Minho rewinds the music. This time, Minho grabs the closest thing, Simon’s world history studybook, and places it on the floor. “Let this be your center marker.” 

When Simon follow’s Minho’s instructions to start moving to the front sooner, he ends up right in place when he’s meant to be. He’s perfectly in center for his lines and is able to move away at the right pace as well. 

“Okay are there any other parts—”

“The ending, definitely.” Simon cuts him off but Minho doesn’t mind at all. He figured the ending would be an issue for all of the members of the group considering they’ve made the choreography a more contemporary style. 

Minho nods and faces his back to Simon. “The part where you’re center? Or when Trinh comes to the center and you’re in the back?” 

“Honestly, I think the part where we form the reverse triangle with Ren as the back point and Tracy in the front. With me in the front on her left. The very end.”

More nodding. “I get what part you’re talking about. Let’s go through it one move at a time.” 

Minho leaves the music off, going through each move as if it’s a pose. When they get to the end, Minho looks back at him again. “Does that clear up the actual moves? Can we work on timing with the music?”

Simon nods and when they run through it with the music, Minho watches Simon go through the movements gracefully, with visual ease. He makes the choreography look easy. Until one part that has him stumbling and tripping over his own feet. Simon curses under his breath and mutters an apology.

Minho can’t help but smile. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Simon scratches the back of his head with a frown.

“Okay, just try again.” Minho turns the music back and replays it. Simon starts again but trips up sooner, just after starting. He doesn’t even make it through his own part in the center. And this time he hits the floor hard.

Minho jumps and drops to his knees, lightly grabbing the arm Simon fell on. “Whoa, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. It doesn’t really hurt.” But Simon flinches when Minho touches his elbow. Minho feels his heart drop. If a kid gets hurt on their watch, what kind of scandals will arise? What if Simon really is badly hurt and can’t continue on the show this early on? Minho knows he can’t blame himself, but he also knows anything can be blamed on him purely because he’s the adult in the room. Of course, he also doesn’t want Simon to have an injury that will cause lasting effects. 

“Okay, let’s just end now, and after you care for it for a night or two, I’ll work on the song ending with you closer to Friday.” 

“Are you sure? It’s really not that bad, I can dance—”

“No, no, and don’t push yourself too hard between now and Friday. Be careful.”

Simon still looks at him skeptically but nods his head. “Okay, I’ll be careful.” 

21:19

“Viet is so… ugh. He doesn’t listen to me, doesn’t listen to the other kids, he barely even listens to the teachers in class. Did you know he uses Chat GPT for his homework essays in English? Like, entirely? He asks it for an outline and asks other questions to get the details straight. He hasn’t been reading the play they have in class other than when they actually read it out loud in class. And don’t even get me started on our lesson today! His rhythms are all off, his notes are inconsistent, and we didn’t get to work on dancing, but—”

Minho cuts off Jisung’s rant from where he lies on his back on Jisung’s bed. “Yeah, that’s off too. And worst of all, the others in the group listen to whatever he says. Ivy and Zaya talk shit about it after, but they don’t talk to him directly. 

“And you would think that Ivy would stop him, considering she is their class president.” Jisung stands from where he sits at the desk and walks over to flop on the bed beside Minho. “They listen to him when he has no clue what he’s doing. At least Luna’s friends are listening to someone with thoughts in their head.”

Nodding in agreement, Minho turns on his side to face Jisung. He hadn’t thought about it, but Jisung is right. Luna may not be as headstrong as Viet, but they’re both leaders in their groups with very different leading styles. They both command two different kinds of respect. Viet bosses the kids around like there’s no tomorrow, making himself a self-appointed dictator. Luna listens to everyone and lets others take control of the conversation when they’re more versed in a topic. She doesn’t try to be on top all the time. 

Jisung continues. “When I took over Luna’s lesson, she started talking about all of these aspects of matching the song’s emotions and feelings, and how she sings according to the song’s mood. She knows what she’s doing already, at least more than other kids, more than some of us did at her age.” During their own show, they were always told to lean in more to their sound, push the emotions Luna talks about so easily already.

Again, Minho nods. He remembers a few times when Luna would tell her friends in her group to make certain moves that hold certain feelings rather than having blank, black and white moves. After a moment of silence, Minho realizes how Jisung started. 

“Wait, you took over her lesson?”

“You didn’t know?” Jisung turns his head to look at Minho. “Channie-hyung yelled at Seungmin afterwards and everything. You weren’t in your room last night?”

“No, I went with Jeonginnie to get food down the street.”

“Oh… Channie-hyung yelled at Seungmin. Seungmin was yelling at Luna during their lesson after she started crying. I— Uh… I pulled him out and yelled at him before taking over her lesson.”

Minho should be upset Jisung butted in. He should be telling Jisung he should’ve gotten him or Chan to intervene. But instead, he laughs and has to cover his mouth to stifle it. “Seungmin deserved that. Was Luna okay after, besides talking about emotions and everything?”

Jisung nods. “She was okay. It took her a minute to get back into the singing, but when she did.” He pauses and smiles. “I’m going to be so honest, she’s better than Seungmin was when we met him. She was rocky at the lesson but for being after her crying and panicking, it was really good.”

Again, Minho laughs. He would love to see how Seungmin would crack if he found out Jisung said Luna is better than how he was. But he knows that won’t happen. If it did, Luna would face wrath far worse than she is already. 

The thought makes Minho want to punch Seungmin. 

“As far as I know, Seungmin hasn’t apologized yet.”

“Actually, Chan told him to just stay away from her. Like, he told him, and I quote, ‘if you say anything out of line to her, I’ll fucking make you regret it.’ So unless Luna approaches him first, which I’m sure as hell she won’t, he won’t be stepping out of line at all. Hopefully.” 

Minho’s not so sure that will be the end of it. 

Monday, September 9, 2024, 08:55

Luna sighs, tapping her pen on her paper. Mrs. Sanders is going on about something, Luna thinks it’s related to the Freudian ideology, but she already knows by now that Freud was a freak who wanted to fuck his mother. What more does she need to know about him? 

When there’s a knock on the classroom door, she’s grateful for the distraction. She’s grateful until she sees the current bane of her existence walk in the door. Seungmin is there with a woman holding a camera, and Mrs. Sanders just lets them in like they’re any other staff member. Fortunately, they start on the other side of the room with Nico, Sawyer, and Simon, giving Luna time to mentally prepare. 

But subconsciously, Luna straightens her back and writes her notes faster and neater. Odds are she’ll be caught in the background of clips starting now, so she needs to look presentable. She doesn’t want negative opinions on her simply because she looks uninterested in her education when she isn’t the center of attention. 

She stares at the clock in between the slides the teacher shows. She just may be able to get by without having to be filmed during the class time. There’s only twenty minutes left, surely they’ll run out of time to film every contestant in the room.

But when the clock hits 09:10, five minutes left in class, Seungmin walks down her aisle of desks. She’s in the first row, right in front of the teacher, yet he doesn’t even glance at her. The seats behind her are empty so Seungmin and the camera-lady sit there. Luna swears she can feel Seungmin staring holes into the back of her head. It’s cute that he and the other guys dressed as Care Bears for character day, but Seungmin as Grumpy Bear is just too fitting. It’s scary. Luna feels like a bully’s victim from an 80s movie, like he’s going to start poking her in the back or landing spit wads in her hair. 

When the teacher clicks to the next slide, Luna starts writing. She tries to ignore Seungmin and the camera. They’re meant to be getting candid shots anyway, so she just has to act like they’re not even there. If she can do that, then the filming will be over before she knows it. It’s only five minutes. 

At least, that’s what she thinks until she feels Seungmin poke her back — just like she feared. Her breath catches and her body stiffens.

She tries to ignore him. He’ll leave her alone if she shows no reaction, right?

But when did that ever work in movies?

Instead, he leans forward and mutters, “You’ve practiced over the weekend, right? My ears aren’t going to bleed later?”

Luna stops writing. She doesn’t finish the slide. The teacher clicks to the next one while Luna’s pen hovers uselessly over the paper. 

Hesitantly, she mutters back. “Does it matter if I’ve practiced when you’re just going to say it’s not enough?”

Seungmin scoffs. “You’re hopeless.” Then he stands and gestures for the lady with the camera to follow him out of the room. He waves goodbye to Mrs. Sanders with a smile, does the same to the students that smile and fawn over him. It’s like nothing happened. The bell ending second period rings only a few minutes later. 

When Luna gets to her next class, she can’t hold back the tears. Her shoulders shake and she slumps into her chair. Her breathing becomes fast and shallow. She can’t even laugh when Amelia walks in, sees her, and immediately threatens to fight her if she doesn’t stop crying.

“What happened?” Amelia sits with her rather than in her usual spot with her other friends.

Luna can barely even look at her. She tries to wave her off. “Nothing, nothing, bad quiz last period.”

She doesn’t expect Amelia to look right through her. “You have psychology second period, you’re great in that class. This isn’t about a quiz.” 

Shoving tissues over her eyes so her makeup won’t run, Luna shakes her head. “Seungmin.”

“Oh, what did that bastard do this time?”

That makes Luna laugh just a little. Amelia has been in the loop about Seungmin’s comments at the evaluation since Luna told Addi and Addi told Aliyah and word got all the way around the choir. Luna never intended to keep it a secret, she just hopes the choir members don’t blab about it to everyone. He may be an ass, but she doesn’t want to ruin his career. 

Luna takes the tissues away from her eyes and shakes her head, finally showing a small smile. “Well, you know how they’re starting to go around, filming contestants in class? Seungmin came in last period and everything was just fine, but since he’s mentoring me after school today, he asked if I was going to make his ears bleed.” She pauses, the words he said fully starting to sink in. “Then he called me hopeless.”

After a moment, Amelia scoffs. “Damn, I don’t even want to be in this show anymore. He’s being so immature, and you know the other guys are probably just like that—”

“What?" Luna turns her head sharply to look at Amelia. She never mentioned the others. They were never an issue. "The other guys are just fine. Haven’t you been working with some of them?” Luna knows Amelia's just trying to make her feel better, but she’s not. 

Amelia is quiet for a moment before nodding with a sigh. “Yeah. Minho is quiet but he’s been nothing but nice and supportive. Hyunjin is…weird. Felix really is just a sweetheart. Now I get what you meant last year when you’d call him sunshine. But do you think it’s just Seungmin that’s like this? I mean, I would assume at least one other member would be an asshole.”

Luna shrugs. “All the others have been nice. At the evaluation, when Seungmin told me I might not be meant for the industry, Hyunjin and Jisung snapped at him, Jeongin smacked him, Changbin grabbed him like he typically does, and Chan took me out of the room. I don’t think any of them are exactly supporting him right now.”

“But none of them are actively trying to stop him either.” Amelia shakes her head as she speaks. Then, she pulls out her phone and starts scrolling. “I’m going to text Chan about this, he should know what just happened.”

Without thinking, Luna snatches the phone out of Amelia’s hand. “No, no, no, don’t do that. He’s already dealing with a lot, and it’s not like he doesn’t already know Seungmin is being an ass.”

“But do you really want this to keep happening? It’s just going to get worse and worse.”

“If it gets worse, then I will talk to Chan. I know you’re willing to fight, but I’ll call on you if needed. You’re like my little Pokemon.”

“Ew, do not call me that.”

Finally, the air around Luna feels light enough. She laughs as if nothing happened between her and Seungmin. 

10:15

As usual, most everyone walks into the choir room at once. Also as usual, at least usual for the past week, all the Stray Kids members are sitting at a table shoved near the corner where the girls put their backpacks. Typically, Luna and her friends would walk into choir early. But today they waited to enter with everyone.

In the chaos of students dropping their bags near the table and grabbing their binders of choir music from the cabinet, Luna assumed she wouldn’t be seen by Seungmin. There’s twenty girls, all of which are taller than her. It’s not like she’d be easy to spot, especially not with most of them being just as adamant about keeping them apart as she is. When they had been gathering in the hall, they didn't even ask why she was waiting. They just gave her sympathetic looks.

But as she’s pulling her binder out of her backpack, she feels someone hovering over her. She doesn’t look immediately, sure that it’s one of the choir girls, but when she stands and tries to walk, she bumps into Seungmin. 

Her heart drops into her stomach and she starts shaking almost immediately. It barely even registers when he grumpily mutters “Sorry.” Luna nods stupidly and rushes to her seat. 

She’s one of the first girls in her seat and it gives her time to think. Usually she closes out whatever thoughts she had from her work last period to prepare herself for choir, but now her only thoughts are about Seungmin. What was he apologizing for? For her bumping into him? That was her mistake. But would he really apologize like that for Friday’s evaluation? Luna doesn’t want to sound needy, desperate, or self-righteous, but she felt she deserved better than whatever that half-assed “sorry” was. 

As more girls sit in their seats, Luna looks over at the table where Seungmin sits with the other members. He looks just about as zoned out as Luna just felt, staring at the floor. After a second of staring, Luna shrugs it all off. That apology was likely the best she was going to get, so she should be happy to get it. Hopefully things will get better from here.

Class starts with announcements as always, Mrs. Buchanan, the choir director, talking about various things: preparing for their fall concert, district auditions on Saturday, and last, the Royal Tea Party taking place in November. There’s lots to learn and in a short amount of time, so they get started quickly.

By the end of class, Luna’s head is spinning. All the new annotations in her music, and it’s still not enough to be perfect — not that she ever thought she would be. Nothing is perfect. Just like her audition that she absolutely fluked on that plagues her nightmares. Sounding like a victim of pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis was not on her bucket list, yet it happened. At least with choir, she can write down what she needs to work on as the need arises. She records the class every day as well, so she can listen back to the problem areas. 

When she gets to her next class, math that’s far too easy, she pops in an earbud to listen to the choir’s recording. It’s her first time hearing the choir in a few days, since she hadn’t been listening to the recordings since Stray Kids arrived, and when she presses play, she can hear clearly what the guys were saying while they watched the class.

Her heart leaps into her chest and she pauses the recording. They’re talking in Korean, but her phone is offering to auto-translate. She hesitates before turning off her phone and taking her earbud out. Whatever they’re saying is of no concern to her. And by the sound of it, Seungmin was a heavy contributor (at least to the beginning) of the conversation. She doesn’t want to listen to a single thing he has to say about their choir. He was once her role model in vocals, but what’s a role model who’s an absolute asshole? There are far better people she can look up to. She doesn't need a mumpsimus.

14:54

Luna tries to stay calm as she stares at herself in the mirror. She presses paper towels against her face to dry the sweat. She messes with her hair and fixes the collar of her shirt. She even re-clips the stupid Cinnamoroll ears she has clipped onto her hair for the dress up day. 

All she can wonder is why the fuck she cares so much. She wants to go into her lesson looking presentable, as if that would matter at all to Seungmin. She's probably walking into an abattoir. But yet, she wants to look nice for him. She wants to believe it’s for herself — the costume she wears because she wanted to despite friends asking her to join group outfits — but the more she attempts to even out the ears, tries to make the bows on her sneakers face correctly, she knows she’s lying to herself. She wants a stupid Care Bear’s approval.

She gets to the fine arts hall two minutes before her lesson is meant to start, and when she finds Seungmin, he’s leaning against the wall, frowning down at the bear-ear headband he holds in his hands. Luna swallows hard. He looks good in that shade of blue. But he’s still an asshole. 

Luna clears her throat. “Hi, I’m here, sorry, my last class was all the way in the front hall—”

“Okay, go warm up.” He doesn’t look up from the headband, gesturing to the practice room beside him. The microscopic amount of hope Luna still held on to gets released. The memory of the apology from class becomes bitter. He’s not going to be any better than he was before. 

She listens to him, goes into the practice room, sits at the piano. The door closes behind her, Seungmin staying out in the hall. Luna tries to ignore him. If he’s going to take his time coming in, then she’ll take her time warming up. She digs in her backpack and takes out her choir binder, takes out the audition materials for Saturday. She pulls out a piece that’s in German and starts plucking notes, matching each one before moving on.

She’s already known and practically memorized the piece for over a week, but there’s no harm in going back to the basics. 

Seungmin takes shorter than she expected, coming in as she’s only matching the third note. “What are you doing?”

“Warming up.”

“What about this is warming up?”

“I’m singing, aren’t I?” She knows she sounds out of line, but if he wants to play, then she can play right back. She has to if she wants him to stop walking all over her. Besides, the other members seem just as displeased with him as she feels. She’s sure they wouldn’t mind her messing with him a little bit. 

“We’re not here for learning choir music, we’re here because you can’t sing.”

Despite knowing it’s not true, the last line still cuts deep. She knows she can sing, but the voices tell her otherwise. Her whole goal in life last week was to sing with Seungmin one day. Now her time has come and he thinks she’s awful. She was so scared to screw up her audition that that’s exactly what she did. 

“I can sing, I just…” She trails off, the fight leaving her. She wanted to send Seungmin the message that she’s trying, she’s fighting, that he’s not going to get to her anymore. Immediately, she failed. Can she do anything right?

“You just what? Don’t practice enough so the anxiety takes over?”

I do practice enough. Luna thinks hard, staring at him as if she can send the thought directly into his mind. Practice is all she does. When she does her homework, she has the song in her headphones. When she’s in the shower, the song is on repeat and she’s singing with it. When she’s alone in her room, she does the dance. Over, and over, and over. She’s so sure she can do it, but what if something goes wrong? 

What if she gets an ear infection and she can't hear properly? What if she trips and hurts her ankle and can't dance? What if her voice cracks on a note she’s done a million times before and she can't recover? What if—

Seungmin tells her to get up from the piano so he can take over. All she can do is listen. He plays a scale and tells her to follow it. She tries, but the middle part that she has no problem with in choir suddenly becomes a problem. Her voice is flat, then she pops into head voice and it becomes whiny. She stops and Seungmin stays quiet for a few seconds. “Try again.”

This time he only plays the first note and then lets Luna take her own pace. However, it’s more like she takes her own key. Every note after the first one is pushing sharp and she knows it. She stops just short of the top when she realizes the notes she’s singing are just too high to be right at all. 

Seungmin stops her. “You know what, let’s just start with the song. You’re warmed up enough. Your first lines are in the post-chorus. Let’s hear it.”

Luna obeys. She starts to sing but right off the bat, it’s pitchy. When she hits a note that’s completely wrong, Seungmin slams on the piano key of the correct note like an mad dad banging on a door. “No, sing it right. You’re on this note.”

Shaking, Luna nods. “Right, sorry.” She tries the note again, but out comes a note that’s not even near the correct pitch. 

“What the hell was that?” Seungmin hits the key again, his voice raising. “Do you even hear yourself, or are you just singing without thinking? You’re on this note, not some random one you pulled out of your ass. Do it again.”

But Luna doesn’t make a sound. When Seungmin turns to look at her, Luna feels the tears streaming down her cheeks, cutting through her makeup. She startles and tries to start singing, but having Seungmin watching is just as bad as having Seungmin listening. She gets a single note out before her voice cracks and she stops. He’s going to yell at her again. He’s going to ramble about how anxiety is no reason to be a bad singer. 

“Are you seriously crying over this? This isn’t a sad song, get a grip! Just sing it, it’s not that hard.” Seungmin snaps his fingers and hits her starting note on the piano. 

Luna tries. She really does. If she can just sing it right once, she’ll be able to sing it right again, but the pressure — the pressure. He’s staring at her, listening, ready to point out what she does wrong without any question. She opens her mouth to sing and nothing comes out. Luna covers her mouth with her sleeve as more tears fall and her shaking gets rougher. This was supposed to be the opportunity of a lifetime and she’s messing it all up. 

“Why are you crying?” Seungmin turns fully to face Luna, practically yelling at her. “We’re here to practice, not for you to be a crybaby! Just sing the damn song!”

Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. Through the window in the door, Jisung peers in. Then he opens the door and grabs Seungmin by the arm, pulling him out. It’s nothing forceful — it looked like a brother messing with a brother. But Luna can hear the interaction in the hall. She doesn’t know Korean, but she can tell angry tones when she hears them, no matter the language. 

She tries to take deep breaths. When Seungmin comes back in, she needs to be able to sing at least a little bit. It’s not that hard. She’s just being dramatic. She can sing, so it should be no problem. Seungmin is right. She’s making it harder than it needs to be. 

Only a minute passes for her to gather herself. She faces the wall, hands over her ears to muffle most of the outside noise. She mentally counts to ten then back down to one, in English then in Spanish. She takes long breaths and holds before releasing them. 

When she finally hears the muffled click of the door closing again, she turns to face Seungmin, only to find Jisung standing there with worried eyes. “Hey, I’m going to take over until the end of the lesson, is that okay?”

Luna can’t really do anything but nod. A part of her is extremely happy Seungmin didn’t come back. But another part is disappointed. How is she supposed to prove him wrong when he’s not there to witness it?

Jisung sits at the piano and hits a note. “Can you match the pitches I play? They’ll be random.”

Luna nods despite the fact his back is to her. She tries to match the pitch as best she can. It’s rocky, her voice still nasally as she tries to get back to how it felt during choir class. She hates it, it’s not her typical voice. It’s only like that when she’s anxious. 

Rather than yelling at her rough start, Jisung nods. “Not bad. How about… this note.” He plays a note that’s higher than the last and it takes more effort to get there. 

When Luna tries, it comes out breathy and whisper like, and she hates that even more. 

“Okay, okay.” Jisung sounds like he’s smiling, and when he looks back at her, there is a smile on his face, a contagious one at that. “Sing… this note.” He plays a note completely out of Luna’s lower range. 

Looking at his smile, Luna can’t help but smile as well. She tries the note, fails of course, but it makes her laugh. She knew she couldn’t hit it, wasn’t upset that she didn’t. It came out as expected. 

Jisung plays a few more random notes. When she meets each one, they come out better and better, more clear, less nasally. 

He hits a note higher than some of the others, and when Luna hits it, it’s not airy. It’s strong and has power behind it and when she stops, she’s smiling and laughing, shaking her head. Even if it wasn’t perfect, it was still better than some other notes she tried. 

“That was the same note that was so weak earlier!” Jisung smiles, hitting the note again. “You did it, okay? You can do it. Now, let’s hear your first set of lines in your group’s song. The post-chorus.”

Luna nods and starts. It’s still shaky, however this time it’s mostly on pitch. The longer she sings, the stronger it becomes. 

“I think you’re a bit shaky because you’re putting it in head voice right now. I think you’ll sound better in chest voice. Can you try that? I know it may be harder when dancing, but if you get used to it, maybe it’ll be better.”

Luna nods in understanding. “I usually sing it in chest voice, I’m just trying things out a bit right now.” When she sings it how Jisung suggested, he looks back at her with a shocked look on his face. When she stops, he smiles and claps his hands. “There it is! You did that! Yes!” He makes various silly voices, something Luna can recall from various videos showing Stray Kids’ recording process. She never would’ve thought she’d experience it first hand. 

“Okay,” Jisung continues, “the second pre-chorus. Depending on your range, that could also be in chest voice, but it’s completely understandable if you don’t want everything you sing to be in the same style.”

“I actually think chest voice fits this song very well. Like, that bass sound really keeps it grounded, and at the end when the parts are slightly different with notes that are higher than the beginning of the song, it’s like finally letting go, you know? But it’s, like, still slightly grounded, even at the end. Moving on but not moving on. If that makes sense…”

Luna explains her thoughts behind the song and barely notices the way Jisung stares, mouth slightly open as he ponders what she says. To have someone listening, actually listening, feels so new. 

To her surprise, Jisung nods and smiles. “You think about a lot, that’s good. You know what you’re doing. If you think you can do the whole song in chest voice—”

Luna laughs and cuts him off. “I mean most of the song, can’t do the high notes at the end like that…” 

As if they’re friends, Jisung laughs along. “Right, that would be insane, man. I rarely belt to hit high notes and I’ve been doing this for years.”

“Can we work on those notes at the end? I know they were really, really bad at the evaluation.” Luna fidgets with her hands unconsciously — a nervous habit. 

Jisung seems to take notice and smiles. “Only if you can stop picking at your nails. Believe me, it can give you blisters.” He wiggles his fingers and Luna freezes. Jisung has been where she is, anxious and afraid. He’s not only mentoring her and leading the lesson, he’s trying to cheer her up and make her feel like she isn’t alone. 

Luna forces her hands to her sides. She feels awkward standing like that, so she fidgets with her skirt instead. Jisung notices and laughs. “So, you’re just a fidgeter.”

Luna doesn't respond, just nods as Jisung hits the starting note of her lines at the end of the song. 

He speaks calmly with an almost eager undertone. “Make sure you get the starting note. It’s lower than everything else so it’ll be easy to skip over.”

“We’ve had parts like that in choir. They’re annoying.” Luna scrunches her nose before matching the starting note. Then she attempts the run. It comes out easier than expected and she overshoots the pitch. She realizes immediately and shuts up, yet Jisung still praises it. 

“That was great! Yeah, it was off pitch, but technique and sound wise, it was great!”

Luna doesn’t know how to respond. She smiles and laughs awkwardly. “Thanks… I swear I can do the right notes, though.”

“Oh, I have no doubt. After that show?” Jisung waves it off like Luna already did it perfectly. “Go ahead, try again.”

Second try and it’s already how it’s meant to be. Jisung nods again, asks her to sing it again. The third time is even better. 

“The last line is just a little higher than that one, so if you want to skip it to save your voice, I won’t blame you.”

“I can do it.” Luna says, without a doubt. When Jisung nods and turns back to the piano, Luna hums Blame It On Me by TWICE, making Jisung burst out laughing. 

He hits the note on the piano. “Less ‘I wanna know’ more ‘Break-Up Song’.”

“I wanna know satangcheoreom dalkomhadaneunde~”

“I will call Jeongyeonnie and tell on you!” 

“Jokes on you, I love her.” Luna sticks her tongue out and laughs before she even realizes what she’s doing. “Wait, sorry. Break-Up Song, you’re right.” 

That somehow makes Jisung laugh even harder. “Oh my gosh, I don’t know how Seungmin could ever hate you.”

Swallowing hard, Luna's heart drops to her stomach. “Seungmin hates me?”

Her serious voice and face make Jisung’s smile drop. “W—Well, I mean, he’s never said that, he just acts like it. I can’t speak for him. Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Nodding, Luna swallows before speaking again, voice much quieter. “You said we could skip the last note if I wanted, right?” Jisung nods so Luna asks, “Can we just stop here?”

Again, more nodding. Luna shoves her choir binder back into her backpack and leaves. She knows Jisung probably wasn’t thinking when he mentioned Seungmin hating her, and it’s not like it’s much of a surprise considering their interactions so far, but to hear it put into words is… upsetting. 

He said that Seungmin never actually told him he hates Luna. Does that mean she can still win him over? Does she want to win him over? Does she really want someone who acts like such an ass on her side? 

Yeah, she does. If he can be an asshole to a high school kid, who wouldn’t he be an asshole to? If she can get in his good graces, if they can be friends and she can get him to actually care about her, she’ll always have someone to fight for her. 

She frowns to herself. She already has someone who would always fight for her: Amelia. Does she really need to put effort into winning over a second fighter? It’s not like she has haters or enemies to be worried about right now. What would be the actual point? It’s not worth the stress. 

Friday, September 6, 2024, 06:00

Chan yawns. Across the cafeteria table from him, Jesse yawns too. They’re both booting up their computers, getting ready to start working as needed. 

Chan really hadn’t expected the students to be such adamant workers, especially not in the first week when they’re still adjusting to everything going on. Alexa had already run some makeup designs through him, Zayan had already sent written-out ideas for filming, and Amelia has already led two groups, including her own, through learning their entire choreography. Jesse has by far been the biggest help, guiding him through which administrator is best to talk to in each situation, giving ideas as to how to advertise, and even taking the initiative to start emailing the teachers who have students in the competition, asking to film in their classrooms. 

All Chan has to do is collect the email addresses and give them to Jesse to compose the emails. It almost feels as if he’s the assistant here. Really, he’s just clueless as to what path to take next. When he writes down the last email and slides it over, he can’t help but ask. “What should we do next?”

“Message each of the groups and find someone from each to design a poster.”

It was Jesse’s idea to advertise by getting a contestant from each group to design their own poster — an advertisement for the show’s first episode, personalized to each song being performed. Fortunately, Chan sent a message out the moment they confirmed the idea. “Already did, and we have two responses.”

“Right, forgot you did that. Who do we know is making posters so far?”

“We have Luna and Artemis, and actually, Luna already sent hers in.”

To his surprise, Jesse lowers his laptop screen and rolls his eyes. “Can I see it?”

Chan raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t argue. He takes out his phone and brings up the photo, passes his phone across the table. 

Jesse scoffs at it. “It’s as expected.”

When Chan takes his phone back, it’s with a frown. He hadn’t thought the editing was all that bad, it actually looks all hand drawn. It follows a club theme, like Zayan’s idea for the filming set. There was nothing wrong with it. But it’s not worth his energy to argue or even question what Jesse means. 

“My group hasn’t discussed it, I’m just going to text Trinh and tell her to do it. She’s the only one who does anything art related.”

“What about one of the sophomores of the group?” Chan raises an eyebrow. The whole point in asking the groups is to get whoever was best fit and most willing rather than forcing the job onto someone. He really doesn't want any of the kids getting stressed out too soon.

Jesse readjusts his laptop screen and starts typing what Chan assumes is another email to another teacher on the list. “I don’t know them very well, but none of them are artsy. Sawyer and Tracy are sports kids, Nico is too quiet, and Simon just doesn’t seem the type to sit and draw.”

Chan thinks there’s tons of flaws in Jesse’s reasoning, but again, he doesn’t question it. “Okay, but if you tell her, make sure you’re not pushing her too far.”

“She can do it. If she wins this, she’ll have to do far more in far less time.”

“Could you do it?” Chan can hear his own voice losing its usual care, the warmth he’s gotten used to using to make everyone comfortable. Jesse seems far too comfortable with the thought of others accomodating for the group.

“No, I don’t draw.” Chan could easily argue that maybe some of the other kids who will end up making posters at some point don’t usually draw either, but he can’t back that up. Even if the odds of every group having a kid that draws is thin. 

“Okay, just ask everyone in your group first without forcing it onto Trinh.” Jesse doesn’t argue but doesn’t exactly look pleased either. Chan wouldn't be surprised if the boy ignores his words entirely.

There’s a long period of silence before Jesse’s laptop gives a small ding. “Mrs. Sanders has approved filming in her classroom. She has several sophomores and a senior.”

“Anyone else?” Chan asks, writing down the name. 

“No,” Jesse replies with a sigh. “Just her.” 

Chan nods. He can’t exactly expect to get quick responses before school even starts. Having a teacher respond in general was surprising to him. 

Over the course of the next hour, several more teachers reply, all approving of filming. It’s enough for a single day of filming, so Chan tells Jesse they’re done for the day. Students come into the cafeteria to wait for school to start, crowding around tables and getting breakfast from the lunch lines.

Like he has each time they’ve worked until now, Jesse stops before leaving to ask Chan if there's anything he can do before the next day. Like he’s always responded, Chan assures him that he’s done enough today and what’s meant for tomorrow will stay for tomorrow. He leaves when the bell rings and Chan drags his feet to the choir classroom for the day.

16:23

Honestly, Chan just wants to go home, or rather, back to the hotel. He wants to be done with these solo evaluations. While still being truthful, he could easily tell everyone that they’ve improved and are doing well. It’s almost like these kids have been training for years with how quickly they’ve learned and nearly perfected their parts. The current evaluation of Ivy, whose singing hadn’t been the worst but was still far from the best, shows she's just as improved as some of the best vocalists. Her dancing was average, as was her singing, but compared to her audition that had less than average vocals and no dancing at all, there’s already loads of improvement. 

Despite being exhausted, Chan smiles. He’d been so worried about this show being a waste of time, sure they would find an average school, lacking anything star-worthy, but he’s been proven wrong. First, the auditions were far better than what he remembers of his own when he auditioned for JYPE. Then, the change in a single week is just astronomical. He hadn’t expected to find real idol potential at a randomly chosen school. 

When Ivy leaves, Chan is beaming. Everything has gone so well, he even has high hopes from Luna’s evaluation up next. However, seeing her walk in, fidgety hands and teary eyes, Chan’s high hopes hit rock bottom.

As the music begins, she does relatively well. But the moves are sloppy. When she sings, it’s no better than her audition. She trips over her own feet. Her voice wavers. She’s on the high note at the end and Chan can’t help but wonder whose bright idea it was to give that to her. She locks in on one note, surprisingly in tune, but that’s the only sign of any kind of improvement. 

The performance is followed by a heavy, awkward silence. Chan doesn’t know what to say. A part of him feels it’s necessary to criticize, yet at the same time, it feels wrong to do so when there are already tears filling her eyes and slipping down her cheeks. 

Unfortunately, it’s Seungmin who breaks the silence. Chan practically feels the way shoulders slump as all the members besides Seungmin give a sigh of frustration. His tone is as harsh as it comes. “Honestly, that was painful to listen to. At this point, you’re either not practicing or you just don’t care.”

The silence continues, but this one feels more shocked than anything. Chan had expected something harsh, but Seungmin was nearing a whole new level. Luna seems unnerved by it like any other kid would be, how Chan thinks he himself would be. She tries to speak, but her voice is breaking. “I– I care, and I am practicing…”

“Well, it doesn’t sound like it.” Seungmin continues berating her. “You’re off key and off pace. Why should we believe you’re putting forth any effort when it really doesn’t seem like it?”

Luna’s hands are shaking and her tears fall faster. Before she can even try to respond, Minho speaks to her directly, calmly unlike Seungmin. “You made mistakes you didn’t in practice.” 

It’s more of a statement than a question but Seungmin’s voice loses its edge as he whispers only to Minho, barely audible and in Korean to hide from Luna. “What do you mean she didn’t make the mistakes in practice?”

Minho messes with his ear as he responds at normal volume, in English, looking between Seungmin and Luna. “She’s never had issues tripping, and she’s never been off place like that. If she did in practice, the group would fall. They don’t.”

For a moment, Chan thinks Seungmin may put aside his pride and admit his wrongs. Chan thinks he might actually hear Seungmin apologize and be nice to a student. He realizes he’s wrong the moment Seungmin opens his mouth and addresses Luna. “Well, if you don’t make all these mistakes in practice, why do you make them when performing? And don’t say ‘nerves,’ that’s an excuse.”

“But—” Luna tries to rebuttal, likely to say that nerves are absolutely a reason. Chan would have to agree, especially so early on in the show when anxiety is clearly a factor, but Seungmin cuts her off.

“No, no ‘buts.’ There’s clearly something you’re not admitting to, whether it’s faulty practice or the fact you don’t really want to be here. Is that it? You don’t really want this and you’re just here for your friends?”

Chan opens his mouth to interject, but before he can, someone else does. 

“Anxiety. It’s anxiety, isn’t it?” Jisung’s voice is surprisingly calm, more than what Chan could’ve mustered. He’s happy Jisung spoke up first. He’s sure his tone would’ve sounded too angered because of Seungmin — he probably would’ve scared Luna further. He's also glad he's not the only one who's picked up on her anxious habits like fidgeting with her clothes and holding her breath.

Luna gives the smallest nod in response to Jisung, but she’s shaking so much, Chan wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t actually nod and he just made it up. Her face grows paler each second. She looks like she's on the verge of passing out.

It’s to nobody’s surprise when Seungmin scoffs and hits his hand on the table. “Anxiety? That’s your excuse? You seriously expect us to have mercy on you because you have anxiety? In the idol world, there’s constant pressure and stress. If you can’t handle it, then maybe the industry isn’t for you.”

This time, there’s protests from multiple members.

Hyunjin snaps loudly, "What?"

Jeongin reaches around Changbin to smack Seungmin's shoulder.

Jisung's chair falls back when he stands. "What the fuck?"

Changbin grabs Seungmin's arm and yanks him closer.

Chan decides it’s gone on long enough. Too long.

He stands from his chair, loudly sending it screeching against the tiled floor. He knows he probably looks intimidating storming across the room, so he tries to lighten up. It probably doesn’t do much. Having known Jisung for so long, he’s able to handle anxiety issues pretty well, so he doesn’t touch Luna’s arms or shoulders. He hovers his arm around her shoulders and starts leading her from the room.

He hears Seungmin protest, but he should’ve let Luna leave a long time ago. He shouldn’t have let Seungmin keep going. 

When they enter the hall, they’re immediately met with questions from the few students waiting there. Addison immediately comes forward to hug Luna. Simon, while not as physical, also comes up to make sure she’s okay. Chan can’t help but think back to Seungmin. He’s known the guy for years, and he never would’ve thought he’d see something like this happen. The same guy who has held Jisung through anxious moments, called on Chan to care for their anxiety-ridden member, berated a girl, a literal child, for the same issue, basically told her she should give up her dream.

Chan watches Addison rub a hand up and down Luna’s arm, trying to sooth the sobs without getting an answer about what’s wrong. It’s not hard at all to show just a little compassion. What the fuck is up with Seungmin?

22:45

Chan has to stop and take several deep breaths before even knocking on the hotel room door. He'd calmed down enough, he thought, but when Seungmin opens the door, he can feel his blood starting to simmer, but he stifles his anger. He needs to be civil. 

He’s silent from the moment he walks in up to nearly five minutes later. He takes his time. Something inside is telling him that Seungmin will simply bark back if he gets angry with him. The outline of discussion he had made has left his mind.

“Next week, each kid will get a lesson from one of us.” Chan pauses, staring at the floor. He doesn’t want to look at Seungmin, he can’t even look at Minho. “Seungmin, I want you to mentor Luna this round, and I want you to apologize for what you said.”

He should’ve expected Seungmin to fight him on this. “Really? Why me? Why not Jisung, since you're so concerned about her anxiety? Why not you, since you seem to care so much?”

Then Minho butts in with new information. “You wanted to mentor her this week, remember? We talked about this.”

Seungmin gives Minho a glare before looking back at Chan. Chan just raises an eyebrow. He wasn’t even aware Seungmin knew about the mentoring, let alone wanted to have Luna. Still, Seungmin scoffs with a roll of his eyes. “I wanted to before, but now I don’t. Minho-hyung said I needed to stop letting emotions decide what I do, so I'm going to treat the kids like I would treat anyone else. Luna made no progress since her audition. If she still can't perform, then what's the point of trying so hard to accommodate her?”

“You’re missing the point.” Chan opens his mouth, but Minho steals the words right from under him. “We’re not just trying to improve them towards the goals of this show, we’re trying to improve them in all aspects so if they want to pursue this dream, the show is the start rather than the end.”

Still, Seungmin scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure, we’re supposed to improve them, but can you really improve someone whose anxiety makes them incapable of performing at all? There’s only so much we can do. If she can’t handle the pressure, then no mentoring is going to help her.”

Chan can feel his patience running out little by little. He knows comparing people isn’t the best thing to do, but it’s the only thing he can think of to even possibly get Seungmin to understand where he’s coming from. All he can think about is Jisung, who Seungmin loves like a brother. He's never treated Jisung like he was less because of anxiety. “What about Jisung? You've never talked to him the way you did to Luna. What if Jisung had let anixiety get in his way—"

“Don’t compare them.” Seungmin narrows his eyes and stares down Chan, cutting him off. “Jisung worked through his anxiety, he didn’t just freeze and crumble on stage. This isn’t the same thing.”

“Where the hell do you think Jisung started? Everyone starts somewhere, Seungmin.” Chan’s voice starts to rise in volume. He tries to calm down, but it’s like Seungmin is denying what they’ve literally seen for themselves. "You know he still has times where he's low and needs help, and he's far more experienced than Luna. You know this isn't something that's fixed overnight. It may not even be fixed by the end of the year, if she makes it that far. Why are you so against—"

“Im against this whole stupid, fucking show! We shouldn’t have to be dealing with stupid children who can’t do anything for themselves!” 

“None of us want to be here, but do you see anyone else making the students cry over it?” Chan gestures to Minho who covers himself with a blanket to stay out of the argument. Chan thinks it would be funny under other circumstances. Instead, he continues to fume.

Finally, Seungmin is silent. His eyes are wide, he’s clearly still secretly pissed, but Chan can’t help but let out a sigh of relief when Seungmin speaks with stifled anger. “Fine. I’ll mentor her. But don’t expect me to baby her.”

Saturday, September 7, 2024, 21:30

Chan lets out a heavy sigh. The last thing he or any of the guys want to do after practicing their upcoming award show appearance all day is to discuss for the show. Still, all the members are crowded into a single hotel room for arguably, the most important discussion of the week: attire for homecoming week. Unfortunately, the company believes their participation in the school's events are critical to gaining traction for the show to stand on.

“Okay, so homecoming week is the week leading up to the school’s homecoming football game, which is apparently just a game played on the school’s home field. They have multiple, but I assume they just pick one and call it homecoming. The dress up days are meant to spread school spirit, so the company wants us to dress up for these days as well.

“I’ve prepared the outfits the company sent for us for the week. Any questions before we get started?” Chan looks around the room with a sigh. It's no surprise that the other guys look just as upset as Chan feels. Surely, dressing up isn't going to gain a significant audience. It's not that interesting.

He had't even considered what Hyunjin asks after a minute of silence. “Are we going to the game and the dance too?”

Chan’s eyes widen slightly as he thinks for a moment before responding, unsure. “Uhhh… I will ask about that, but likely yes." Knowing the company, they'll want them to make an appearance to make it seem like they care about the school. "Any other questions?”

When there’s nearly half a minute of silence, Chan claps his hands and continues. “Okay! So, since Monday is ‘Character Day” and we’re dressing up on such short notice, I am aware this concept isn’t exactly the most… desirable.” Chan reaches into the first box that has the costumes for character day. The outfits are simple headbands and t-shirts, but the concept makes him want to cringe. He holds up the shirt meant for him and on the shirt is a white circle with the colorful flower associated with Harmony Bear. “We’re doing Care Bears.”

There’s a chorus of groans as several heads hit hands. 

Chan just continues, ignoring the disapproval. “Minho, you’re Tenderheart Bear. Changbin, Friend Bear. Hyunjin, Love-a-Lot Bear. Jisung, Cheer Bear. Felix, Funshine Bear. Seungmin, Grumpy Bear. And Jeongin, Share Bear.” As he lists off, Chan throws each of the guys their t-shirts and headband.

Felix laughs. “Accurate until Innie.”

Jisung laughs as well. “Am I really Cheer Bear?”

“More than Jeongin is Share Bear!”

Chan ignores them and gets the next box ready. He wants to get to the next day to distract from the fact Seungmin got Grumpy Bear. Really, Chan switched Minho and Seungmin’s assigned bears. He’s sure when the company finds out, they’ll lecture him over it, but by that point it’ll be done. It’s his own little act of protest.

“Okay, Tuesday is ‘Generation Day.’ Since we’re like staff in the school, we’re going to be dressing as teenagers. Just dress in hoodies, socks with slides, things we’ve seen at the school.”

“Messy hair, got it.” Hyunjin nods like he's trying to lighten the mood. Chan gives a small smile and moves on. 

“This box is for Wednesday: ‘Favorite Music Artist Day.’ Since we are music artists, the company wants us to wear our outfits from the Chk Chk Boom video. They’re in this box, but they may be a lot to take right now, so I can take it room to room and have you guys take your clothes out that way.

“The last box is just miscellaneous blue accessories. Thursday is ‘Class Color Day’ and, again, we’re going off what the staff are assigned, so we’re going to be dressed in blue. That is also the day of the mum event that I am funding—”

“What are mums?” Chan is cut off by Jeongin.

“Chrysanthemums are the flowers used for them, so they call them mums. It’s a fake flower with ribbons and bells and streamers attached. Very extravagant. But things are expensive and we’re saving the budget for filming.”

Chan starts digging in the box of blue accessories, looking around. Friday is ‘Maroon Out,’ maroon being the school’s color. However, there’s no maroon accessories in the box for them to use that day. He should've expected the company to skip out on them.

“I guess we have to go shopping anyway. We’re supposed to wear maroon on Friday but there’s no maroon things in here.”

“Where the hell are we meant to find maroon things?” Seungmin rolls his eyes and slumps back on the bed he’s sitting on.

“We can probably buy things at the school store. It’s open during the lunch periods on Wednesday.” Hyunjin says, slapping a hand on Seungmin’s thigh. It’s like Seungmin’s comments from the day before were never said. Like there’s no tension in the air for anyone but Chan.

Chan just nods, not trusting himself to correct Seungmin. “I’ll go stock up on hoodies and t-shirts for us then.”

Shortly after, everyone goes back to their hotel rooms, however, Minho stays behind. Fortunately, Changbin also ditches the room to hangout with Felix and Hyunjin in their room, leaving Minho and Chan alone. It doesn’t take long for Minho to question Chan.

“I know the company didn’t give me Tenderheart Bear. They like me to uphold the ‘grumpy’ exterior. What did you do?”

Chan keeps his back to Minho, letting out a small sigh. “I can’t exactly protest Seungmin being an asshole by confronting him. This is the next best thing.” 

To his surprise, Minho laughs. “If it makes you feel better, then great.”

Chan finally turns to look at him. “What does that mean?”

Shrugging, Minho turns and starts towards the door. “How much are you really doing to stop Seungmin with this silent protest? Not much. But if you think it's doing something, then fine. I couldn't keepmy temper if I were to try talking to him.”

For the first time ever, Chan is skeptical over what Minho says. “I know you get angry, but… you’ve never been one to blow up at someone.”

Minho stops walking, messing with the Care Bears t-shirt in his hands. “Seungmin is bullying a kid, a girl who, to our knowledge, is like a small Hannie. She’s struggling, and he didn’t tell you this, but he wanted to keep her in the show because he thought she had good character. She gave him a water bottle when she saw him looking tired. I think I made him start this. I told him to not get upset with the kids about emotions in the work setting when he kept her in based on his own emotions. Now, it's like he's trying to get her to fail so she's not here and it's like his keeping her in never happened.”

Frowning, Chan shakes his head. "That was his bad interpretation. That's not on you. I'm sure you didn't tell him to continue being an asshole to the students, right?"

"I didn't. I told him to be a role model, and he said he shouldn't have to be that for them. I told him to change, but I didn't mean like this. I don't think I could talk to him about it even if I wanted to. He's going to take what I say and use it as an excuse to be an even bigger ass.

Monday, September 2, 2024, 23:05

Minho lets out a sigh of relief as he lies back on his bed. He can’t help but believe this stupid show will be the death of him. He’s already dealing with Seungmin’s attitude, now he has to deal with high school drama. He’d heard Chan confirm to Felix it was Mia who asked for choreography help for Amelia’s group despite having agreed to Amelia creating it. If the show is going to be full of people talking behind each other’s backs, he won’t survive until the end.

At the same moment he’s starting to relax, Seungmin walks out of the shower, towel-drying his hair, mid sentence. “—kids are irritating. They just can’t seem to separate emotions from professional work.”

Minho lets out another sigh, this one of stifled frustration. As much as he agrees, they're kids. He accepts he won’t be sleeping anytime soon and sits up. “Well, they’re high school students. You said it yourself, they’re kids.”

“But there should be at least some professionalism.”

“We invaded their school. To them, this ‘job’ is just another extensive day.” Minho’s irritation slips into his voice as he speaks. He swings his legs off the side of his bed to better face Seungmin. “They are going to bring the same drama they deal with everyday. If the company could’ve clarified this, that would’ve been great.” He doesn’t mention how Seungmin seems to be doing the exact thing he’s accusing the students of doing: not separating emotions from work.

Unfortunately, Seungmin just scoffs, voice rising. “Are you being serious? Are you not at all infuriated by it? If they can’t separate feelings and work, this show will go down in flames.”

“What makes you any better?” Minho stands from the bed, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to calm himself. Still, his voice steadily rises. “You decided you wanted Luna based on your feelings. It caused and will continue to cause more drama, which you suggested just to gain views. What makes it okay for us to use our fear to validate our actions but not for literal kids? Because we're adults? Because we survived our own show? Honestly, yeah, we’re all irritated by the lack of professionalism, but do not complain when we are a source.”

He ends up jabbing a finger into Seungmin’s chest before silence falls over them. After a full minute of quiet, Minho clears his throat and takes a step back, struggling to keep his voice regular. “If kids causing drama irritates you, evaluate yourself first.”

“You can’t genuinely be comparing me to kids.” Seungmin’s voice is dry and Minho simply stares at him. If that’s his takeaway from the conversation, Minho has to try something else to get through to him. Unfortunately, he doesn't know what to try.

Minho takes a deep breath to calm himself. Yelling at Seungmin won’t help, and talking it out doesn’t seem to be working either. “It’s not that I’m comparing you, I’m telling you that if you want them to be able to separate their feelings from work, then you need to show them how to do that. By keeping Luna in, we didn't."

“But I’m not a parent or a brother, I shouldn’t have to teach them.” Seungmin rolls his eyes like it’s obvious.

This has to be more infuriating than working with students. This is like talking to a brick wall. Minho pokes his tongue in his cheek as he thinks. It’s just not worth arguing, but he can’t just let Seungmin keep thinking what he’s doing is fine. “We’re mentors, idols. They idolize us, and we have to act the part—”

Seungmin cuts him off. “What makes you think I’m not acting just fine towards them?”

A beat passes before Minho frowns. “I heard you talking to Addison backstage. You can’t be talking to them like that—”

“I won’t be.” Seungmin snaps at him. “I was just tired, it’s not like I’ll do it constantly.”

“But that’s not an excuse,” Minho huffs. “Reasoning that you did it because you’re tired is just as childish as you say these kids are.”

“You’re calling me childish again. Why is it that I’m considered childish for struggling with—”

“Don’t you dare say ‘struggling with emotions.’” Minho straightens, his voice raising again. “Seungmin, you’re being a hypocrite right now. Yes, it’s important for the students to recognize when they can and cannot give in to certain emotions, but by claiming it’s okay when you’re tired, you’re not teaching them anything but how to excuse it.”

“W-well, I think it’s excusable when someone is having a hard time or very tired—”

“Do you not think high school students get tired? Or is it not enough for you to excuse it?” Minho stares at him with wide eyes, daring him to talk back. He can tell Seungmin’s arguments are getting weaker and weaker, but at this point, he can also tell the boy is just doubling down because he’s stubborn. He can't believe a single thing Seungmin seems so adamant about.

Minho doesn’t actually wait for a response. He silently snatches his pajamas from the end of his bed and heads to the bathroom to shower. He needs to think this through more.

Tuesday, September 3, 2024, 07:45

“No, Lia, you’re doing it wrong.”

“Okay, then can you show me?”

“Dude, you know I cannot dance.”

“Bro, what the fuck?” Zayan interrupts Viet and Lia’s bickering, throwing his arms in the air with a laugh. “Then why are you here?” The words are insulting but the tone isn’t. Neither Zayan nor Viet seem to realize how serious Lia looks.

Zaya and Ivy glare at the boys like Lia does. Zaya places her palm to her forehead with a sigh. “We should have kept at least one of the C-crew members. They would’ve been able to help with choreography.”

Ivy rolls her eyes. “If Viet could’ve just listened to us, we’d be getting help from Felix or Lino.” She gestures over to Minho before quickly turning to him, wide-eyed. She gives him a small, awkward smile and turns back to face the group. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out she thinks he can’t understand them at all. But he’d studied enough English by this point to understand.

He stands with a sigh. He wanted to go a bit longer before having full conversations directly in English, but Felix had gone to the restroom and he doesn’t know when he would be back. Every second of possible practice counts. Their practice is fifteen minutes through, and as much as he tried to not judge the students too harshly, their choreography is horrid. Not only is it unimpressive in difficulty and complexity, it’s unsynchronized, and when the kids practice singing while moving, the jumping they added makes their voices too shaky. The choreography isn’t highlighting their ability — it’s putting their flaws in bold.

Everyone turns to stare at him as he walks over and immediately gets to teaching, showing them how to count the beats properly, getting the exact times for them to move on. Eventually, Felix comes back and joins him, helps him communicate when he can’t find the right words. By the time practice ends, the synchronization is better and they have choreography for over half the song. The school bell rings and the kids scramble to get their backpacks, ignoring the sweat on their foreheads and running to their second period class.

Minho watches as they leave, ignoring Felix who walks to sit in the row of chairs against the wall. These kids have the motivation to go from practice for the show with an opportunity of a lifetime, then go to their class as if nothing happened. They’re building two lifelines at once. It reminds him of when he’d do the same: go to school, then go to rehearsals. It was exhausting and isn’t something he would wish upon anyone. He, just like he knows other members feel, thinks hosting this show in a high school is nothing but destructive of both the students’ abilities and their reputations.

The students have to split themselves in half, partly working towards the competition, hoping to make it to the end and build a name for themselves, and partly focusing on school, building a foundation to fall onto if they fail in the show. It’s a lot to handle. When he worked hard in improving himself in dance, he remembers how his grades dropped significantly. His parents were disappointed in him, he was upset with himself. He’d hate for these kids to fall into that same spiral without an ending similar to his happy one. 

As for his group, his members, they’re just wasting time. There’s been advertising attempts for the show, but the views and interactions with the posts are becoming less and less. They’ve run out of new posters to post and they’ve been so busy figuring out logistics and finances, they haven’t even thought of video ads. In hindsight, Minho thinks he should’ve suggested making a student a media-manager, pitching ideas and filming short clips for social media. 

Instead, they’re stuck with barely any followers. Even their own fans have fallen off from following the show’s posts. The numbers that were once six digits fell to four, now only to three. Only a few hundred people interact with each post. Considering their group’s million Spotify listeners and YouTube subscribers, that’s a fatally low number. 

By spending their time scrambling over this show, they’re losing people from their fandom. They’re used to hard work year round, a new album every few months. If they go too long without providing an album, what if their fans start to get bored of waiting? Sure, other groups go years without a comeback and their fans wait just fine, but for other groups, their long waits drag them down significantly. What if they’re on that latter side?

He blinks back the thought, turning to Felix when he hears the boy’s voice. “I thought this group didn’t request help.”

Minho stares at him. The group didn’t request help, he just jumped in. “They were struggling,” He says simply.

Nodding, Felix scratches the back of his head. “I didn’t want to say anything, but yeah, they were. I just can’t help but wonder why they didn’t think they would need help…” Felix’s voice drops to a mutter as he leans back into the chair.

With a sigh, Minho walks over, sits in the chair beside him. “I heard Ivy say something about how if they hadn't listened to Viet, they would be getting help. So, I’m assuming Viet told them they didn’t need us and they just… believed him.” Minho shrugs with a shake of his head. He couldn’t imagine simply going with what one person says without discussing first. Hopefully there was more of a discussion he didn't know about.

To Minho’s surprise, Felix shrugs with a sigh. “We can’t change who they decide to listen to. If they decide to trust a friend who’s untrustworthy, we can’t do anything.”

Slowly, Minho nods along. 

22:30

“‘Cause all I want is you, not your tears— Wait, ah, I need to do that again.” Jisung lets out a sigh, clicks a few times before singing again. He mumbles to himself, clicks again, and keeps singing the same line.

Minho closes his eyes, listening to the recording process. Fortunately, with most of the members sharing the same worries of going too long without an album, their manager somehow convinced the company to allow them an album to release around Christmas. Of course, most of the tracks have been made years prior by 3RACHA, but the demos need to be edited and officially recorded. With each of them getting a solo song, it’s good they’re getting so much time to work on them. Although, clearly not all of them need the time, seeing as how Jisung is already recording his track. 

As he listens to Jisung sing, Minho throws his arm over his face, blocking out any light so all he can focus on is the music. It’s calming after an entire day where everything seemed so unsure. Here, he can listen to the voice he knows well the voice that's calming.

That is, until Seungmin barges in alongside Jeongin, rambling about a familiar scene.

“—childish! Can you believe it?” Seungmin’s voice interrupts Minho’s peace. Minho sits up abruptly and makes immediate eye contact. Seungmin’s rant dies instantly. 

When Minho happens to make eye contact with Jeongin after, the maknae raises an eyebrow at him. Minho sends him a look that urges him to not question their obvious conflict, likely what Seungmin had been rambling about. Seungmin is bound to start something even without anyone speaking.

And he does exactly as expected. “Hyung, what are you doing here?” Seungmin crosses his arms as he calls for Minho’s attention. 

With a stifled sigh, Minho sits up. “Why should I answer to you?”

“This isn’t your room.”

“Nor is it yours.” Minho raises his arms above his head, stretching with a yawn. The day has been tiring and it’s only one of many to come. He doesn’t want to be dealing with this stubborn bane-of-his-existence again.

Seungmin scoffs and flops down on the other bed. “I’m just here to record my song.”

“Shouldn’t you go to Chan-hyung’s room for that?”

Seungmin doesn't respond. Jisung turns away from his computer to face them both. “Channie-hyung wants to do it here since his room shares a wall with the floor’s ice machine.”

“Oh.” Minho lies back on the bed. Silence falls as Jeongin moves to stand at Seungmin's feet, poking at his shoes.

After a full minute, Seungmin speaks. “But why are you here?” He pays Jeongin no mind.

“I don’t need a reason.” 

As if feeling the tension rising again, Jisung jokes with a smile. “He’s here because he loves me.”

Joining into the attempt of lighting the mood, Jeongin fake gags. “Ew.”

“Aw, does the maknae want love too?” Jisung turns in his chair and pats his leg, gesturing for Jeongin to sit like a child on his lap.

“Hyung, help.” Jeongin rushes around the bed corner to crouch beside Minho. “I’m scared.”

Internally, Minho cringes. This is a show they’d put on for a camera, not to fix rising arguments. But he humors it. It’s working, anyway. 

He leans over the edge of the bed to stare down at Jeongin. “Aw, but you’re our baby.”

Jeongin’s face twists into an expression of horror. “No, not you too!”

Minho is finally about to laugh, feeling lighter, but Seungmin groans. “You guys aren’t fucking serious right now, are you? This is the kind of bullshit we pull for cameras. It’s what we deal with daily at the school. Can we not let dumb kids influence what we start doing everyday?”

Silence falls over them all. Jeongin pouts and mutters, “Hyungs started it.”

That visibly ticks Seungmin off even more. “You know what, nevermind. Tell Chan-hyung I’ll record tomorrow.” 

“You can tell him yourself.” Minho speaks sharply. He was fine facing Seungmin’s temper alone, but now their argument is spreading to other members. With the survival show going on, they’re going to have to put any disagreements aside. Otherwise, the tension will appear on camera and will affect the students mentally. “You are an adult, right?”

“Can’t you just listen to what I say without giving some stupid response?” 

The three other boys in the room stare at Seungmin. Minho wants to reply again, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to add more fuel to the fire. As pissed off as he may be at Seungmin, it just wouldn’t be worth worsening the situation. 

“Fine.”

Seungmin’s eyes widen for a split second, like he doesn’t expect the response. Then he goes back to looking infuriated. “I’m just going to go to bed.”

Minho doesn’t respond, just watches as Seungmin leaves the room. When he goes back to their shared room an hour later, Seungmin is already asleep.

Wednesday, September 4, 2024, 06:45

For once, Minho is able to sit back and watch as the kids take over. The Break Up Song group actually has things together better than the Hall of Fame group did. It’s only their third practice but they already have choreography made for the entire song. Now the only job he has, alongside Amelia, is to watch, give feedback, and correct. Fortunately, the girls in this group make it easy. They catch their own mistakes most of the time.

They’re in the second chorus when Brooke accidentally bumps into Rin. It’s a mistake similar to what Ivy and Kevin did the day before during their practice.

“That was so stupid. Ivy, you ran into Kevin. Now we have to start again, we almost had it.” Viet whines with a smirk on his face, words biting and tone joking. If he had any less control over himself, Minho would be correcting him. Kevin had been too far forward. It wasn’t Ivy’s fault they collided. But even if it was, this is practice, it’s not a huge deal.

Still, Ivy apologizes and they start again. When the group leaves at the bell, Minho overhears Ivy with Zaya. “Who does Viet think he is? Shouldn’t he be listening to me?”

Brooke starts to verbally recognize her mistake, however, voices speak over each other as multiple people respond. 

“Don’t worry about it!”

“You’re all good, it’s okay.”

“Did you get hurt, are you okay?”

“We can just try again!”

The voices die down and Luna takes the opportunity to address both Brooke and Rin. “I think Brooke came forward a bit too fast, and Rin, I think you moved back just a little too slow. Can we try this chorus again without the music so we can start slow then speed up?”

Everyone nods at her instruction and Amelia, standing at the front of them all, counts them off. They run through it multiple times, each one better than the last. Even the girls who were less experienced in dancing, like Rin and Uyen, were staying in sync with the most experienced girls, like Mai and Brooke. When they finally run it with the music, they make no mistakes.

Minho watches as Luna directs them to the next part. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised at the first practice, when all the girls seemed to follow not just him and Amelia, but Luna as well. Easily the worst audition, he wasn’t expecting much from Luna at all. Realistically, he was expecting more like Rin, barely able to keep up with choreography. Instead, he saw a fast learner who was quick to help everyone else. It was odd to say the least. 

Since their first practice, it’s only gotten more offputting. When he agreed to help Seungmin improve Luna’s skills, since the stubborn boy had been so adamant about keeping her in the competition, he fully believed he’d be losing sleep, stressed out of his mind, unable to get her to improve in the slightest. But she seems to be improving just fine on her own.

Her singing, however, has yet to be heard. While everyone else gets used to singing as they dance, Luna doesn’t open her mouth at all.  

At the end of practice, Morgan, Brooke, Sophie, and Uyen stand in the corner. Amelia, Luna, and Chrissa go to join them. Minho watches but his gaze slowly shifts to the other side of the room, where Mai and Rin both stay on opposite ends, both isolated. Mai is crouched, digging in her backpack while Rin stands and stares down at her phone. Minho can’t tell if them being apart from everyone feels weird because it is or just because he’s gotten so used to everyone in a group being on top of one another.

But even if they’re just fine this way, it can’t be that way forever. He wants to encourage them to talk to the other girls. Maybe encourage the group to invite the two of them in. They’ll have to get situated with the same near-strangers at some point anyway, so why not now?

Minho has to stop himself from acting on it. He can’t rush it, can’t push it. The connections will happen with time, the plenty of time they still have. He shouldn’t force them together like the world is ending tomorrow. If he did that, treat them like children instead of like young adults, he’ll be just as bad as Seungmin.

Monday, September 2, 2025, 10:30am

Amelia parks her car in the same spot as everyday. There’s no school today, but she’d been texted to come to the school to review possible jobs for during the competition.

The last thing she wanted to do was quit. She’d had the same job since freshman year, she’d climbed her way into a manager position, she’d skipped choir events just to work to prove she’s responsible. But she knew she’d be in over her head if she attempted to work as well as compete. When Chan came in to suggest having her help around the competition for pay, she was willing. It took one less worry out of her mind. She’d have to quit after another year to go to college in another city anyway.

The downside of the opportunity is having to get out of the house on Labor Day, but that’s a minor setback overall.

She pulls her keys from the ignition and starts towards the school. There’s a guy standing there, leaning against the school building. Amelia has never been a kpop fan, but she’s not an idiot. It’s Minho who looks up from his phone, squinting against the sun to see who’s walking up. 

“Waiting for everyone here,” Minho says shortly when Amelia gets close enough. 

She nods, assuming she’s meant to wait with him. 

“You go inside.” His voice is softer, less demanding. 

Amelia looks at him. It’s hot outside. Not as bad as other Texas weather, but still summertime temperatures. “Why don’t you wait inside? It’s cooler in there, isn’t it?”

She gets a blank stare back and for a moment she fears he can’t understand her. But then he speaks again. “Need air.”

Nodding, Amelia leans against the school’s brick wall. She can sympathize with that, needing to step out. There’s always times she wishes she could step outside to clear her mind, yet she never gets the chance. “I get it.” He’s probably under a lot of stress from running this show. More than Amelia is from wondering how she’d keep up an income as well as compete.

“Waiting on one.” He holds up a singular finger, not turning to look at her. Amelia can feel the slight coldness despite the near 100° temperature. But it’s not deterring. 

She nods in response even though he isn’t looking. “So, who else is looking for a job?”

Finally, Minho looks at her. He stares for a moment again before saying the names, each one spoken as if they have question marks behind them. He’s second guessing his pronunciation. “Jesse… Zayan… Naomi… Alexa… Kevin.”

Nodding, Amelia hopes her silence isn’t taken as judgement. She’d never want to judge someone for attempting to speak names they wouldn’t regularly. She’s always tried to help substitute teachers when they call roll. It’s not easy to do. “Ah, okay. Only six of us? Damn, I thought more students worked…”

The corner of Minho’s mouth pokes upward a tiny bit, like a smile is fighting to appear. “Not many handle the stress.”

Amelia nods again. She would have to agree. She’s seen many students get stressed over the minimal school things, she doesn’t think they could at all handle juggling all that she does, all while still appearing presentable every day. 

A car door shuts somewhere else in the parking lot and it echoes through the silent, serene scene. A breeze blows through the trees as Naomi walks up. Minho pushes off where he leans against the wall, giving a small smile to Amelia as he turns to walk towards the door of the school. 

Amelia, instead of following, waits for Naomi. 

Naomi graduated last year. Amelia is glad she’s back in a sense, but she’s not more thrilled than Mia or Addi. Naomi was the choir president last year, so Amelia looked up to her in a sense, but she never felt as if Naomi was as great as the others made her seem. 

Addi, being the new choir president, Amelia believes, is far more open to what people say and far more respectful to the new choir director’s attempts at taking over. Amelia understood everyone’s frustration with last year’s director, especially after he’d seemingly given up, but Addi would never yell like Naomi did. 

Mia is most thrilled for sure. She looked up to Naomi from the start and has definitely taken after her. Amelia’s opinion is like most of the other choir girls. They find that aspect difficult to work with. When she places herself in the same league as Naomi, it irritates everyone else. Mia’s talented, but she thinks she’s above improvement and that drags the group down. It’s just like Naomi who seemed to think she had nothing new to learn from the director. 

When Naomi’s feet hit the sidewalk, Amelia waves at her like they’re good friends. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Naomi replies shortly, walking past her. Amelia follows, rolling her eyes at the back of Naomi’s head. 

Minho is holding the door open for them and Amelia locks eyes with him. He definitely saw her scowling. She blinks and looks away. She doesn’t usually get awkward when being caught like this, but he can tell Chan or any of the others. She can’t let her view of people get her kicked out. 

She’ll need to be open to the possibility of anyone winning. 

Walking down the same hall she does everyday, Amelia feels more tense than she ever has before. It’s not just because Minho saw her glaring. She doesn’t care about that as much as she probably should. She’s more worried about seeing the other guys. She doesn’t know their names, not as much as she’s sure the others needing work do. She’s barely even heard of these guys before auditioning for this show. She should’ve called or texted Luna for help before today. Instead, she’s here, really only remembering Minho and Felix. And Chan, of course.

Minho leads them down the fine art’s hall that both she and Naomi are familiar with. The lights are off, shut down for the long weekend, illuminated red due to the emergency exit signs. It’s scary, honestly. But it’s such a familiar part of the school, Amelia feels barely anything. 

When they walk into the choir room, there’s a cafeteria table laid out, the other members sitting on the far side with the fellow contestants sitting on the near side. Chan stands when the door opens and starts talking before they’re even fully in the room. “We’ll be asking you guys sort of interview questions, so sit in front of a member you think you’d feel comfortable talking with. Well, the only ones still available are the members you’ll have to be patient with, or use google translate if needed.” He laughs awkwardly and Amelia gives a slight smile as he continues. “You can either sit with Hyunjin and Minho or Changbin and Jeongin.” 

Before Amelia can even finish nodding her head in understanding, Naomi is rushing to sit across the last two at the table. Seeing as there was no other choice, Amelia slowly walks to the guy sitting next to an empty seat she can only assume is for Minho, meaning the one sitting there is Hyunjin. 

Minho walks up to sit beside Hyunjin, across from her as expected. Amelia sits down as Chan starts. “Okay, so the guys across from you are going to be asking you questions related to things you know, things you’ve done, any kind of qualifications that will help us place you guys into a job within the show. 

“We do have to write it down, so please be patient and don’t speak too loudly, we all will be in this room and we need to be able to hear those we need. That should be everything, so let's get started so we can discuss and get you guys introduced to your jobs sooner.”

Then he sits down and begins speaking to Jesse across from him. Amelia turns to Hyunjin and Minho across from her. 

The interview is an awkward process, more than Amelia would’ve expected. She knew she was stuck with guys who knew little to no English, but she was expecting the interaction to feel very rehearsed. When Hyunjin began talking to her like they’d been friends for years, she was thrown off.

Minho is more how she expected. His lines felt rehearsed outside, and the interview is no different. He barely speaks the entire time, letting Hyunjin ask the questions and write down the answers Amelia gives. It’s only when Hyunjin finishes writing her answer to the last question that Minho speaks directly to Amelia. “You okay?”

Again, Amelia is caught off guard. She looks at him, confused for a moment before nodding in response, giving a small smile. He returns the smile slightly as well.

They’re one of the last interviews to finish — Changbin and Jeongin with Naomi are the last ones — and once all the pens hit the table, Chan announces it’s time for them to discuss the results. He leads the other guys to the ensemble room — the slightly smaller, nearly identical room that’s attached to the choir classroom. 

For a moment, everyone is silent and still, waiting. Then Chan pops his head in again. “Oh, the choir and orchestra practice rooms were left unlocked for today. Be cautious of the pianos, but you guys can practice your performances if you’ve started working on them. I trust that being seniors and alumni, you guys won’t act out, but just in case…” he looks around for a moment before locking eyes with Amelia. “Amelia is in charge, and a negative report from her will impact your place in the competition.” With that, he leaves the room as quick as he popped in. 

Multiple heads turn to face Amelia, but she’s used to both her manager job and teaching choreography to the choirs during their pop-show season. This doesn’t bother her at all. “You guys heard what Chan said. Let’s just go find practice rooms to work in.”

But as she begins walking towards the door, leading nobody, Kevin stops her. “And what if we haven’t started anything?”

When Amelia looks back, most everyone is staring at her. Why they’re staring and not speaking for themselves, she doesn’t know, but she tries to formulate an answer for Kevin, and likely everyone, anyway. “Well, if you haven’t discussed splitting up work with your group members already, try calling or texting them to get an idea of what you can work on individually. If you have discussed it, then go work on whatever you have to.”

Jesse is the only one who nods in response. Alexa seems to roll her eyes, Naomi practically glares at her. Zayan and Kevin both stare blankly. Standing from his seat, Jesse looks at the other two boys. When he repeats practically the same thing Amelia said, they nod and stand, walking out with him. Amelia frowns to herself. They’re not even in the same group as him.

With a sigh, she turns to Alexa and Naomi. “Do you guys want to try choreographing Bye Bye Bye? It has some—”

Naomi cuts her off. “Actually, we think we’re going to work on the singing aspect. But if you could work choreo, that would be great!” 

Hesitating, Amelia pauses for a moment before nodding her head. “Oh, yeah, that’s fine. I might just stay in here then, since there’s more space here.”

“Perfect,” Alexa says with her stupid, fake-ass smile. Both she and Naomi share the same line, different font, a smile that stretches across lips but has no teeth and doesn’t meet the eyes. They leave her, the slicing grins running her through. Amelia sighs, runs a hand through her hair. 

She takes her phone out and studies the same performance she’s been studying since Friday. She’d found it, saved it, mirrored it, all to ensure she could learn it properly herself before teaching everyone in her group. As she plays the music, she runs it through, the phone propped up on the water bottle Zayan left behind. She goes up until the first chorus without making a mistake. When she does mess up, she restarts the song.

She restarts it maybe five times before she starts losing count. Then comes the cliche moment after countless times of restarting, when she’s mid-transition into a part she’d yet to get to, that she sees the guy now standing in the doorway, watching her.

Felix watches her with a soft smile and when she startles and stops, his smile drops. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

Just as quickly, Amelia waves him off, laughing awkwardly. “No, no, it’s okay, it’s okay, you just startled me.”

Whether to break the tension or to just change the subject, Amelia doesn’t know, but Felix quickly smiles and walks closer. “Are you psychic or something?”

Tilting her head and raising her eyebrows, Amelia stares at him. “What?”

“We’re not supposed to say anything until later this month, but the guys and I are gonna perform a mashup-tribute performance at the AMA’s that includes Bye Bye Bye. We’ve already started working choreo for it.” Felix’s eyes sparkle as he speaks cheerfully. His smile is infectious — like a virus. 

Amelia smiles as well. She feels the information is a bit much, but if he’s okay with saying it, she should respond accordingly. “Well, we had no clue when we picked it. We just wanted a popular song, and since the new Deadpool movie came out, this song blew up again.”

Felix seems to brighten even more. “Did you watch the movie? You know, we actually have a song on the soundtrack—”

“You do?” Amelia blurts before reeling herself back in. She shouldn’t be too surprised, they’re a popular band after all, but it’s still wild to her. She’d barely even heard of Stray Kids before now and they’re apparently on a Marvel soundtrack?

Despite her outburst, Felix’s mood doesn’t seem to change at all. “Yeah! You should listen to it sometime! The song is called—”

He’s cut off by the rest of the guys coming into the room. The two of them watch for a moment as Chan leads them in, walking as he types on his phone. A second later, Amelia’s phone goes off with a text, vibrating and flopping loudly onto the table where it had still been propped on Zayan’s bottle. 

Instead of finishing his sentence, Felix reaches over, picks up her phone that’s still unlocked, and quickly pulls up the song’s audio on YouTube. He hands her her phone with a shining smile before quickly scurrying to sit where he had during the interview. 

Almost immediately after Chan’s text goes out, the main door of the choir room opens and all three boys that had left together walk in. The door doesn’t get the chance to close before Alexa and Naomi come in as well.  

Rather than having them all sit where they had been, Chan has the students sit on the bottom of two risers. Amelia is used to chairs being there to sit on, but the chairs are gone, stacked in the corners of the room. The cold metal edge of the riser cuts into her skin, familiar but irritating. 

The guys sit in the same seats they had before, all except for Chan. Instead of sitting with them, he steps in front of the students. In his hands is his notebook, the questions and answers he’d written down earlier visible through the back of the page from bleeding ink. 

“So, we have possible jobs for each of you. If for any reason, you cannot do the specific option we give, let us know and we will consider more possibilities.”

There’s a chorus of nods and Chan begins listing the jobs. Zayan is put in charge of “various aspects of the filming sets,” according to Chan. Alexa is placed in makeup and costume design. Both Naomi and Kevin are placed backstage for rehearsals. Amelia isn’t surprised when Chan basically makes Jesse his assistant. 

While the thought of being assigned a job is both intriguing and exciting, it’s also nerve wracking. For her last job, she applied, knowing what it entailed, knowing what the wage would be. For this, she had no clue what was coming. She still doesn’t know what could happen, let alone how she’ll have to adjust to the payment. 

Then Chan finally gets to her. “Because you have experience in dance, we want you to help Danceracha — that’s Minho, Hyunjin, and Felix — create and teach choreography to various groups. Is that job okay with you? You’ll mostly be working with the three I named, so keep that in mind.”

Amelia doesn’t think twice before nodding. “That’s good.”

Not even ten minutes later, Amelia is sitting across from Minho on the floor. Instead of sitting at the table like they had been earlier, the guys had immediately tried to accommodate her sitting on the riser. They sat on the floor when Chan dismissed the other students to either leave or get further details on their assigned jobs. Amelia moved slightly forward to sit on the floor as well rather than on the edge of the riser.

They’re in a circle, like how Amelia sits with friends when they’re going to play Uno. Hyunjin is to her left, Felix on her right. Despite the fact they’re talking about work and the groups who requested help, Amelia feels the same way she would at the start of an Uno game: relaxed, a little anxious, curious about how it’ll turn out. It’s familiar.

When Minho finishes speaking, Felix turns to Amelia with his bright eyes and freckled smile, translating briefly. “Okay, in short: Hi. Cool to work with you. Excited to do so. The groups who want help with choreography are Break Up Song and your group, Bye Bye Bye—”

Amelia stops him, blood rushing in her ears. “What? No, my group didn’t ask for help. I was put in charge of choreography.”

Felix’s smile falls and he looks at Hyunjin before pulling his phone from his pocket. “Chan said those two groups had asked for help.” He shows Amelia his phone, a text from Chan saying the two groups. Sure enough, the Bye Bye Bye group was written down as needing choreography.

“That doesn’t make sense. We all agreed that I would teach the choreo.” Amelia scratches the back of her head, staring at the ground as she thinks. “The only reason he would have my group written down is if someone asked for help for us behind our backs.”

Frowning, Felix lowers his phone. “Even if I asked Chan who it was, I couldn’t tell you. It wouldn’t be professional. But we could just, you know, hear you thinking out loud about who it could’ve been…” Amelia could laugh if she didn’t feel betrayed by her group members. She didn’t expect Felix to be into the gossip.

“It was probably Naomi, Alexa, or Mia,” Amelia responds quickly. “I don’t think any of them really trust me, so I would guess if anyone asked for help behind my back, it would be one of them..”

“Oh.” That’s all Felix says, not questioning further. Amelia is grateful. She doesn’t want to think about it, but the thoughts still plague her mind. She believes all three of them like things to go their way, meaning they wouldn’t want someone else in charge of something as important as choreography. Even with Amelia having assisted in making choreography for choir pop-show two, soon to be three, years. They just don’t seem to be able to trust her with the dance.

Hesitantly, Hyunjin speaks in a cautious tone. “So, you would be okay still helping the group?”

Amelia sighs. “If someone asked for help, it doesn’t matter if I’m okay with it. They’re worried about having me in charge. In that case, someone else should help them.”

Felix, having been trying his best to quickly translate to Minho the gist of the conversation, rushes to finish and interrupt. “What if both of us work with your group? We need at least two monitoring each group anyway, and you already know the choreography. If someone is there to back you up, your group members can be more at ease.”

There’s tense silence as Amelia lets the suggestion simmer in her head. It’s been a while since she’s felt the nervous chills down her back, the heat in her cheeks. She happens to look directly at Minho, his harsh glare a stark difference from Felix’s eager yet relaxed tones. But as if sensing her nerves in the air alone, Minho’s face softens and he tilts his head, ready to listen to her.

“That can work.” Amelia’s voice is far more timid than intended.

“Great.” Felix gets her attention again with his gleaming smile. 

By the end of their discussion, Amelia is set to work alongside Minho with helping the group performing Break Up Song. Similarly, Minho and Felix are set to observe the Hall of Fame group, and Hyunjin and Felix are set to observe the bad idea group. 

When Amelia looks at her calendar to mark down times, she stares at it for a moment too long. Sure, she’ll be busy directly before and after school, but only for a combined total of less than two hours a day. It’s far less than what she’s used to. She’s sure she won’t be getting paid as much as she had been at her old job.

Before being able to leave, Amelia has to wait for Chan to get back. According to Felix, they have to discuss just what she’s worried about: the working wage. Her anxiety peaks when Chan comes in, already looking pissed off. Amelia can see right through the mask he puts on when he realises she’s watching. He smiles and gestures for her to follow him to the choir’s ensemble room, a secondary classroom slightly smaller than the main one. For the purpose of the show, a folding table has been set with chairs stacked in the corner for convenience — a set up that can easily change between resembling an office or a conference room.

Chan sits at the end of the table and Amelia sits on the only other chair at the corner of the table. She nervously fidgets with her watch, her foot tapping on the floor as Chan rambles aimlessly, pulling his laptop out of a black backpack. Despite Chan’s clear attempts to ease the anxiety flooding the room, Amelia can’t calm herself. It’s the only time she can remember when she’s felt so helpless in handling stress.

But by the end of the hour, her anxiety is gone. She’s beaming. She’d never felt like someone had listened, or that anyone other than herself had cared about her nerves, especially someone working above her. She’s tried so hard to make underclassmen in choir feel comfortable around her, remembering how small she’d felt as a freshman who was yelled at by seniors, but she couldn’t remember being on the receiving side of that mindset. 

For as long as she could remember, people talked down at her like she was incompetent, like she had absolutely no clue what she was doing. But discussing with Chan, even talking with the guys of Danceracha, made her feel heard. 

It sinks in fully that night, when she’s getting ready for bed, thinking over her day and mentally preparing her nightly prayer. This is exactly what she wanted — what she needed. A way to fulfill her dreams as well as assist her family in dealing with day to day needs that seem nearly unachievable. She won’t have to worry about being overworked and underpaid, not when the person employing her was so eager to listen.

January 3: National Chocolate-Covered Cherry Day

“You’re eating the ONLY food I was able to keep.” Y/N snaps at Seungmin who’s sitting on the kitchen counter, chocolate on his fingers as he dips another cherry into a bowl of melted chocolate. “Where the hell did you even get the chocolate?”

Seungmin pops the cherry into his mouth as he stares wide-eyed. “Uh…” He talks with the cherry shoved into his cheek. “I definitely didn’t take it from the stash hidden in the cabinet.”

Y/N sighs and shakes her head. “Why are you eating anyway? How are you eating?”

Shrugging, Seungmin goes for another cherry before Y/N snatches the plastic container away. “Hey!” He hops off the counter. “I don’t need to eat, but food still tastes good!”

“Okay, but leave some for the human who does need to eat!” Y/N moves the bowl of chocolate too before pausing. “How did you melt this?”

“Focus.” Seungmin’s stare intensifies on the bowl and Y/N drops it back onto the counter when the styrofoam begins to heat up. 

Again, Y/N sighs. “If you can eat and heat things up, then what can you do that you’re not telling me?”

Again, Seungmin shrugs. “I didn’t know about this until I tried it.”

“Okay, then try helping me unpack. The moving truck is finally here.”

Yes, finally the missing moving truck has found its way to the new house two days late. Y/N is happy not just that it’s here, but she’s being given the service for free due to the own company’s faults. The guys who drove the truck are also going to carry in heavy furniture although there isn’t much of it. 

The heaviest thing will definitely be the boxed bed frame that she’ll need to put together herself. 

It only takes an hour to move everything inside, that’s how little she was able to bring with her. Most of it is fitted into boxes that she’s able to stack high in her bedroom and the entry hall of the home. 

Seungmin actually seems to get the hint. He opens the boxes in her room yet is unable to take anything out of them, especially not any clothes. He makes it very clear it’s not because he can’t. It’s because he doesn’t want to touch any underwear. Y/N thinks it may be a mix of both.

“You are twenty years old and you’ve never touched anything like that?” Y/N sits on the floor with her legs crossed. Seungmin stays leaning on the doorframe of her bedroom, staring down at her. He doesn’t respond immediately and Y/N gets the hint. “Don’t want to talk about it?”

She takes the increase of water dripping from Seungmin’s hair to mean she hit the mark. She nods and changes the conversation as she begins to unpack her clothes herself. “So, what do you want to try doing, since we know you have some kind of power?”

Seungmin seems to lighten up a bit. “I can try heating a blanket. That’ll be useful for the winter.”

He raises a hand, points at the red blanket that’s still laid on the floor, where Y/N has been forced to sleep the last two nights. Y/N assumes he’s trying to heat it up based on the concentrated look on his face that does nothing but make him look constipated. 

She reaches out to touch the blanket, immediately falling back when the fluff is burning hot. “Okay, okay, too hot.”

As soon as she stops talking, a small flame ignites and Seungmin jumps back, dropping his hand. The flame builds quickly on the blanket and Y/N sacrifices the shirt in her hand, slapping down the flame. She feels a fresh wave of freezing air fill the room and goosebumps litter her arms as the flame is blown out. 

“Sorry.” Seungmin mutters. Y/N looks back at him, seeing him with a hand over his mouth. “I didn’t mean to.”

Y/N sighs. “I know.” She makes a mental note to work with him on regulating the ability.

👻

Seungmin beams. “Y/N! Y/N! Look!” He rushes up and drops a pencil on the rotted table where Y/N sits, trying to call the furniture store. He drops a pencil. A pencil he picked up. 

Y/N’s eyes widen. “Does this mean you can write and stuff like that?” 

“Probably?” Y/N slides him a sheet of paper and gestures for him to take the pencil. Seungmin picks it up again like it’s no problem at all. Really, his head is starting to pound. He’s not used to pain like he was when he was alive. 

He reaches for the pencil and this time, his fingers go right through it. He huffs and tries again, but the same thing happens. His head pounds, like knocking on the attic door be let out, begging and crying for forgiveness. 

By his third try, he’s done. When his fingers go through the pencil, a sharp pain sears through his head and his hands go up to hold it. A cold rush goes through the room and the paper and pencil are blown off the table. 

Y/N stares at him, he can feel it, but she says nothing. For a moment, Seungmin stands there with his head in his hands, frustrated. The moment he wants to show Y/N what he can do, he just can’t do it anymore. 

Slowly, Y/N stands from the table. Seungmin doesn’t look at her but when she gets near again, he looks up. He should at least apologize for the pencil and paper. But she’s holding them, staring at him with a look, a look he’s never seen before. 

She places the paper and pencil back on the table. “Take a break and come back to practice later.”

👻

Hours pass before Seungmin has calmed down enough to even want to try again. It’s dark outside and Y/N’s head is on the table when he walks in. He stares for a moment. If he can heat chocolate and a blanket, if he can grab and hold a bowl, a pencil…

Carefully, he reaches out. First, he goes to touch her hair, but that feels invasive. Maybe he should just shake her awake? Or poke her awake? Which would be better? Which is more acceptable?

When he puts a hand on her shoulder, he touches her. He doesn't go through the clothes or the skin, he makes contact with her sweater. He swallows hard, concentrating. He moves a little and so does she under his hand. When she starts shuffling on her own, Seungmin freezes. 

Her eyes blink open and she looks at him. “Seungmin? What time is it?”

“Uhh…” Seungmin murmurs. “I think it’s nine?” He lifts the hand off of her shoulder slowly, silently hoping she’s too groggy to notice.

But he stares at him. “You’re able to touch me?”

Stiffly, Seungmin nods. “I was going to try writing again.”

Y/N nods, sitting up and stretching. “Okay, try.”

Still, he hesitates. He eyes the pencil. He doesn’t want his fingers to go through it again, but that might just happen. He frowns but tries anyway. The pencil is cold but then again, that might just be him. 

His head starts aching again, just a bit less than before. He holds the pencil long enough to write something. He puts the stick of wood down and looks at Y/N with a victorious smile.

But she’s staring down at the paper with a look of mixed shock and confusion. “What… is that?”

Seungmin looks down. It’s pretty obvious to him. He wrote ‘pencil.’ He turns back to Y/N, holding up the pencil like a trophy. “Pencil.”

Y/N frowns at the paper. “Seungmin, you drew two lines with a triangle at the end.”

Matching her expression, Seungmin pouts. “Yeah. Pencil.”

“Drawing and writing aren’t the same thing. You drew a pencil. You didn’t write anything.”

Seungmin’s pout deepens. He looks at the pencil he drew/wrote. When he’d communicate with old residents of the house, usually children, they understood his writing just fine. They taught him other things. 

“Can you write the word ‘pencil’?”

Seungmin frowns. He grew up listening to informational CDs he snuck from his sister’s room. He  never learned to read or write. 

Y/N doesn’t seem upset, only worried. She tilts her head and gives the smallest smile. “If you want, I can teach you a little.”

👻

A/N: this was done for a while and idk why it wasn't posted... ;-; sorry it's so short too :')

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Friday, August 30, 2025, 6:29pm

Jesse walks into the sit-down area of the Main Event arcade, the echo of children’s screaming and bowling pins hitting the ground ringing around the building. It doesn’t take a superhuman to find his friends — they’re as loud and rowdy as ever, jumping around the table like children. All the girls are missing, Jesse assumes they’re all in the restroom, and he plops down in the seat with Mai’s bag on it. 

Viet appears and pats his back almost aggressively, not giving him a moment to breathe before commanding him around, hands heavy on Jesse’s shoulders. “Dude, have you texted Chan back yet? Have you requested our group?”

Shaking his head, Jesse pulls out his phone to do just that. “How many of us? Twelve?” He doesn’t bother asking why nobody else has done it yet.

“Me, you, Zayan, Zaya, Ivy, Mai, Trinh, Kevin, Ren, Lia, Zoe, and Artemis.” Viet reaches over Jesse’s shoulder to grab some piece of fried food someone from their group must’ve ordered.

“Twelve.” Jesse types out all of the names as well as the total number of people in his message. He hits send and puts his phone down on the table. 

“Now we wait.” Kevin pulls his chair closer to the table as Ren leans back in his chair. 

“We’ve been waiting forever.” Nobody even bothers to listen to Ren. Viet just grab’s Jesse’s shoulders again, pulling him up by his collar, back onto his aching feet, dragging him to the nearest pool table. 

Jesse is forcefully given a cue stick as Viet carefully collects the balls from around the table. Jesse waits for Viet to finish arranging them before getting into position, making his move, breaking the balls’ formation and sending a striped ball skillfully into the corner hole.

“Man, this isn’t even fair, you’re too good.” 

“It’s not like I practice every day, you just suck.” Jesse leans on his cue stick, watching as Viet leans over the table and promptly misses his shot on the white ball. Jesse laughs at him. He feels lighter. 

Then the girls come back from the restroom. Mai runs up to him, hugging him around his waist from behind. It’s quick, she lets go almost immediately, yet Jesse still feels the weight. He watches her out of the corner of his eye, running back to the table and smiling with the other girls. He takes his next turn and also misses the white ball.

“Man, nevermind, you also suck.” Viet pokes fun at him but Jesse ignores it. Mai is already laughing with the others, sitting down before looking his way again, waving at him with a smile. He waves back, a forced smile across his face. Viet takes his turn and hits the ball, getting one of Jesse’s striped balls into a hole. “Oh, damnit.”

They’re too far from the group’s table to hear Jesse’s phone go off, but Kevin calls out to them. “Chan texted back!”

Viet rushes back to the table before Jesse can even react. Barely fifteen seconds later, the twelve of them are crowded around a table meant for six, some sitting in chairs, others standing, some sitting on the table itself. Jesse stands at the corner, Mai sitting in her chair right beside him. Her bright eyes stare up at him along with her happy, bright smile, and Jesse would be lying if he said he felt nothing staring at her. But it’s definitely not the same thing she feels when he smiles at her. 

He ignores the staring of the others, opening his messages app and opening Chan’s contact. He’s not all that surprised reading it through, he’d known from the start twelve people was too many. 31 total contestants and nearly half would be in one group. That’s ridiculous.

“Chan says twelve is too many.”

Zaya hops down from where she sits on the table, turning to lean forward, palms flat on the surface. “Can we split into two groups?”

Jesse texts the question to Chan who responds immediately.

“No, he says there are already the four groups needed. We need to pick who we can split off to go to other groups.”

Everyone falls silent. Nobody wants to leave to go to another group, definitely not at the risk of being separated from everyone else into a group with strangers.

Jesse swallows. There’s five of them who are part of the C-crew, their school’s spirit committee, including himself. They’re used to performing a dance for their school’s international festival every year. They’re strong in dance. They wouldn’t have to work as a team to improve that skill at least. In fact, they could help others in different groups instead.

He texts Chan. If they can get the five of them out of the group, then that leaves seven in, a much more reasonable number. 

“I think the C-crew members can split off into another group. We can help the rest of you as friends and another group as group-mates. To even out the playing field.”

There’s nods of agreement but no spoken responses. Jesse is used to it. Most of the time everyone goes with what he says whether they like it or not. It’s not surprising when nobody speaks against his idea.

Chan texts back, asking for names of who would be departing from the original group they’d wanted. Jesse types back: “Jesse, Mai, Trinh, Zoe, Ren.”

He sneaks a glance at Mai as Chan’s typing bubble comes up again. He’d promised her they’d spend more time together. He’s been so busy with school, C-crew, and work. Now he’ll have to juggle the show too. But somehow he’s expected to keep Mai in his top priorities, when he really just doesn’t care enough.

Chan’s text comes through and Jesse stares at it for far too long. Ivy asks what’s wrong but Jesse doesn’t answer her. The issue pertains to Mai, so he turns to her. “Chan wants you to be added to one group and the rest of the C-crew to be put in another group.” 

There’s more silence as they all await Mai’s response, which, of course, isn’t at all what Jesse wanted. “Can’t someone else go to another group?”

Jesse hates this. Her voice sounds hurt, genuinely upset, and if he says anything about it, he’ll look like an asshole. But he can’t ask Chan, because from what he’s heard from Mai’s rambles and from what he’s seen so far, he’s too nice. He’d switch Mai with someone and say it’s no problem at all. But Jesse just doesn’t want to deal with her.

He pretends to text Chan back, asking. He stands there for a few minutes, trying to look anxious as the typing bubbles supposedly appear. Nothing happens on his screen. Instead, a notification comes through on everyone’s phone, into the group chat with everyone from the competition. It’s the final group lists. Four groups, three with eight members, one with seven. Mai is separated from the rest of the C-crew.

“Guess not.” Mai answers her own question, staring down at her phone screen. Jesse looks up, sees Ivy, Lia, and Zaya staring at him, and looks back down at his phone. He turns his head just slightly to look at Mai’s broken expression before his shoulders slump and he drops his phone down to his side. 

He grabs her bag and her arm and pulls her to her feet. “I’ll go get you a game card. Let's play for a bit.”

Despite his dry demeanor, her face lightens a bit. She walks beside him, even slips her hand into his. He feels the rest of the group’s eyes against his back, but he doesn’t turn around. He only has one person to cheer up.

And less than an hour later, he’s smiling as well. He’s holding some off-brand Charmander stuffed animal, the thing having derpy, uneven eyes and an off-center, lopsided smile. Still, Mai coos over it like it’s the best thing in the world, and Jesse can’t help but stare in adoration. 

His heart pounds in his chest, his palms begin to sweat, and he has to make sure his throat is clear each time he needs to speak. He just doesn’t want his voice cracking awkwardly. That’s what he keeps telling himself.

They get texts as they’re walking around, each of their friends going home one by one as they either get bored and leave or their parents arrive to pick them up. Each text is either one of them, or Chan in the group chat, sending out updates as to what songs have been picked by each group.

The criteria for the first round is easy: show off what you can do by using a song that’s easy to learn. In other words, as said by Changbin in the original announcement in the group chat, this will be the only round that isn’t centered around K-pop songs, as it’s meant to showcase vocal ability and dance ability, unhindered by the need to learn anything other than notes and moves.

One team has chosen Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC, while the remaining seven from their original group of twelve have decided on Hall of Fame by The Script. Jesse tries not to worry about what song the ones from his given group would want. They should know from the official lists sent by Chan that they have more members than who they’d originally submitted, but it’s possible for them to enter their song choice without talking to the new people first. 

As for the other group, Mai tells him they haven’t reached out to her but Chan hasn’t sent anything out about them having a song either. Jesse hopes they’re waiting for her as well. It’s all more nerve wracking than he’d want. It’s almost as bad as the day he had two back to back AP tests.

They’re there until the Main Event starts closing. Jesse carries both the derpy Charmander and some random, evil looking duck plushie he’d won from a crane machine. Walking peacefully out into the dark with Mai skipping at his side, it feels like some stupid, cliche rom-com where the guy gets the girl, the girl gets the guy, everything ends happily-ever-after. He unlocks the car getting inside with the Charmander in his lap. 

He doesn’t move to turn on the car, running his fingers over Charmander’s fried facial features. The embroidery yarn sticks up in some places, feeding into the crappy design. He smooths it down with a grin on his face.

Mai laughs at him, making him look over at her. “What are you doing?”

“He’s just a big derp. Is it really that cute?” He holds him up, making a big fuss over the absolutely stupid grin the tiny thing has.

“He’s adorable! Derpy is cute. Why do you think I’m with you?”

“Wow. And to think I won that duck for you!” Jesse puts a hand over his heart, mock offense plastered on his face. “I’m not winning you anything anymore.”

“What, no!” Mai laughs and hits his arm, not nearly hard enough to hurt. “Come on, I was just joking!”

Jesse can only laugh. Maybe Mai is right, they should spend more time together. It’s kind of fun, laughing and joking, poking fun at the knock-off Charmander and the devil duck. But then Jesse feels the energy fade. He looks at Mai and he doesn’t see what she wants him to, and he knows it. She’s not that valuable. She could up and move away tomorrow and he wouldn’t care. He’d probably look at the Charmander and throw it out.

Still, she leans over and kisses his cheek, grabs his chin, turns his head to face her. She's gentle and sweet, graceful with her moves like she dances on stage. Her hand is warm, like her voice was amidst the cold snow day last February when they’d shared their first of many kisses. 

Jesse doesn’t know what he feels. He feels warm but empty at the same time, even when he reaches over, places a hand on her cheek, brings her closer for a sweet kiss. She smiles against his lips, but it feels wrong. He shouldn’t be doing this, leading her on when he doesn’t know what to think. 

He doesn’t know how long they’re there, lips moving together like it’s meant to be. His thumb glides across her cheek as her hand rests on his neck. Their free hands hold each other over the center console. The rising temperature inside the car that’s yet to be turned on in the middle of a late August heatwave goes ignored and unnoticed. They’re too focused on each other. 

Until Jesse’s phone goes off. Mai breaks the kiss first. “You should check that.”

Nodding, Jesse moves slowly. He wants to ignore it and pull her back, but that’s not right when he doesn’t know what to feel. He opens his messages to find a new group chat with a text from one of the unknown numbers of the main competition chat introducing itself as Simon — one of the sophomores in the show. 

“It’s one of the group members I've been assigned to.”

“Oh…” Mai shifts in her seat, picking up her own phone. “I still haven’t gotten anything.”

Jesse types his own introduction and sends it to the new chat. “Well, you’re in a group with Luna now, right? I had her in physics last year, she’s kind of irresponsible.”

“Oh, that’s great.”

Jesse laughs at her, putting his foot on the brake and pressing the button to start his car. He leaves his phone in the cup holder, putting the car into reverse. 

“Do you know Rin? Or Morgan? Uyen? I don’t know any of these people…”

Shaking his head, Jesse decides to stay off the highway and go the back way home. “No, I only know Luna, but barely at that.”

“Who’s in your group again?”

“Check the list, I don’t know them, just Sawyer. He’s Mrs. Byars’ son.”

Mai pulls up the latest message from Chan showing all the groups. “Simon, Tracy, Sawyer, and Nico. Nope, don’t know them either.”

“Great.” His phone goes off again and he sighs. “Can you check that for me?”

Mai takes his phone from the cup holder. “It’s Nico. He’s asking if everyone is free tomorrow.”

“Can you tell them I’m free after six?”

“Done.”

“Thanks for driving me home.” Mai closes the car door as Jesse opens his own and steps out, leaving the car running. He carries the dumb Charmander in his arms as he walks up to the door with Mai. 

“Of course.” He stands there in the dim light of the porch’s lantern. There aren’t any other cars in the driveway besides his own, Mai’s parents, like his own, taking extra shifts at various hospitals in the area. 

She reaches up to kiss him again, like every other time they get carried away in his car. They’re extra clingy for the rest of the day until they see each other next, falling back into that cold, barely-there relationship that others question. The next day they may not even text each other. 

“Good night.” Jesse hands her the Charmander, helping her close the door after she steps in. He can’t help but chuckle at her struggle carrying both the Charmander and the devil duck. 

When he gets back to his car, he sits there. He stares at the garage door in front of him, illuminated by his headlights. His phone chimes and he takes a full minute to look at it. 

Nobody else has spoken besides him, Simon, and Nico, but Simon doesn’t seem to care. He proposes a meeting place and time anyway. The Lawn at the mall at 7pm. Jesse texts back, saying that’s fine. Then he starts driving back home. 

Saturday, August 31, 1:57pm

“Wel— oh, hey!” Jesse startles when he sees Chan of all people walk into the small boba shop. “What can I get you?”

Chan looks at the menu for a moment before lowering the black mask over his face. The shop is empty so there’s nobody to hide from, at least that’s what Jesse thinks is why Chan pulls it down before ordering. “Can I have a hot, honey lemon tea?”

Jesse forces a smile as he punches in the order. “Rampant allergies? Anything else?”

Smiling, Chan laughs at the allergy comment. “We’ve been adjusting slowly. That’s all for me.”

“Total will be 5.68.”

Chan pulls out his wallet as he begins speaking. “I’ve been going to the workplace of each working student in the competition, just to ask if you guys want to keep working through the competition. If so, we’d rather discuss hours and schedules with your managers beforehand so nothing gets too out of hand. So, would you want to continue working through the show?”

It feels sudden, too sudden. Almost awkward. Jesse takes Chan’s credit card that probably has access to more money than he could ever imagine. They’re one of the few cafes that have the card machine behind the register rather than where the customer can swipe or tap or insert themselves. It’s never made him uncomfortable taking cards from people, they’re just everyday customers after all, but this feels different. This is someone he knows is famous, knows has enough money to buy his house several times over. The card feels heavy in his hands from the moment he grabs it to the moment he hands it back. 

He wants to have that kind of money. And he won’t get there working at a boba shop or splitting his time between here and practice. 

Jesse stays quiet as he gets to making Chan’s tea. He’s not poor by any means, he’s actually one of the richer ones of his friend group. His parents, like Mai’s, are both doctors, well-known and respected in the area. He could go without working his entire life and be happy. His parents made him work to gain the experience. It would be up to them whether he quits or not, but the odds of them allowing him to go through with a show for a pop group rather than putting the new free time into school is slim. They’ll want him working or studying, not singing and dancing on stage. 

Jesse slides the cup across the counter to Chan. “My parents will want me working, and honestly, they don’t know about the show. If I quit, they’ll want me studying more, not practicing for the show.”

Chan nods before tilting his head. “Your audition was really good compared to some other ones. I think you can make it very far, if not into this group then into a company as a trainee. I want you to have that opportunity and the ability to put as much time and effort into it as you wish. I can try to pull some strings, maybe get an opportunity that’ll be appealing to your parents. 

“If you’re worried about being the only one, you won’t be. I’ve offered this to other student workers as well. I want you guys to have the same opportunities as everyone else. I’ll send a message to each of you individually on Monday if I find something, and if needed, I can speak to parents too.”

Never would Jesse have thought he’d have Bang Chan from Stray Kids in front of him, willing to do so much to make sure he’s able to compete in a silly survival show. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Of course. Thanks for the tea.” Chan nods his head and takes a short sip before turning on his heel and walking out like nothing happened. 

6:00

Jesse, being the only one on shift, is the only one there to lock up as well. He does so late, the afternoon rush running late. He’s supposed to clock out at 5:30pm, but doesn’t until 6. He’s sure he’ll hear about it from his manager later.

For now, he’s pre-occupied by trying to get to the mall. He has an hour, and luckily by the time the cafe is locked up and he’s getting on the highway, the rush hour of the afternoon has dissipated. He’s able to get to the mall twenty minutes before their agreed meeting time. From what he sees, he assumes he’s the first one.

Quickly, he gathers eight of the scattered lawn chairs into a circle for the eight people in the group. He sits in the only purple one, pulling out his phone just to study one of the physics powerpoints he has access to. He doesn’t come up for air until a person — one of four — sits beside him in the chairs he gathered. “Hey, are you in our group?”

Jesse looks up into the smiling face of a boy not much younger than him. Him and two others are unfamiliar, but one he’s seen before: Sawyer. Jesse smiles back at the boy staring at him. “Yeah, but I don’t know where the others are.”

The boy nods in understanding before holding out his hand to shake. “I’m Simon. The blond guy is Sawyer, the other guy is Nico, and the girl is Tracy.” 

Shaking Simon’s hand, Jesse glances at the others. The girl is pretty, even without smiling. Both her and Sawyer have backpacks at their feet with their tennis rackets sticking out of the back compartments, hair stuck to their skin with sweat. The other boy, Nico, has an unreadable expression. He’s not fidgeting, not looking around, just staring blankly, completely still. 

Jesse turns back to Simon. “I’m Jesse. Nice to meet you guys. You’re all sophomores, right?”

Tracy answers from beside Simon. “Yeah. You and the others areall seniors?”

Jesse nods. “I haven’t heard from any of them, so I don’t know if they’re coming or not. Do you guys want to start discussing a song choice now?” It doesn’t matter to him that his friends aren’t here. In fact, it’s better this way. They’re less likely to get off topic. His friends will listen to what he says anyway.

“We should give the others more time to get here.” Sawyer cuts in, immediately opposing Jesse’s thoughts. He then reaches for his bag and stands from his chair, looking at Tracy, unbothered. “C’mon. One on one, quick round.”

She scowls at him and curls up on the lawn chair. “I’m not practicing in the middle of the mall.”

“We’re outside and the mall is closing soon anyway. Nobody is even here!”

“Hard pass.”

Jesse laughs a little at their bickering and Simon smiles as well. Nico watches them silently, not showing any real reaction. His reaction, or lack thereof, should feel weird, out of place even, but Jesse doesn’t see it like that. It’s like it’s normal. He doesn’t even feel the need to comment. He’s not even worried. He doesn’t care.

Tracy and Sawyer keep going back and forth, Sawyer relentlessly attempting to get Tracy up on her feet. Tracy just keeps shaking her head and kicking at him when he tries to approach. It’s childish but entertaining.

Jesse is too busy watching to notice when Ren and Zoe walk up behind him, Trinh trailing further behind. Zoe, cheerfully herself, startles him by grabbing his shoulders and shoving him off his lawn chair. He hits the fake grass, laughs ringing from both Ren and Simon as Tracy and Sawyer’s bickering comes to a sudden stop. 

Zoe runs and gives Tracy a hug, squeezing in to sit beside her instead of getting her own chair. Jesse slowly stands from the turf, brushing the black rocks from his jeans. “You two know each other?”

“Tennis!” Zoe says, short and sweet, draping her arms around Tracy’s shoulders.

Sawyer glares at her, seemingly forgotten. “We know each other too.”

“Barely.” Zoe sticks her tongue out, signaling they know each other better than she’s admitting.

Shoving Jesse back down into his seat, Ren plops down in the seat beside him just as Trinh catches up to them all. Sawyer sits back down in his own seat as Trinh claims the one beside Ren. 

“Zoe, leave the sophomore alone and get your own seat,” Ren whines playfully, waving his arm in their direction dramatically.

In response, Tracy wraps her arms around Zoe’s waist. “No, mother, don’t leave me!”

“I won’t let the evil man drag me away!” Zoe plays into the dramatics, throwing her legs over Tracy’s lap, tangling them together.

Wordlessly, Trinh gets up from her chair to walk over and lower herself into the empty space behind them both. “I’m adopting the child as well. We are family.”

“Well, hell.” Ren rolls his eyes and slumps into his seat. 

Nico, still unbothered, finally blinks and leans closer to Simon, whispering something to him that Jesse can’t hear. He understands to an extent how it would feel to be faced with multiple people he may not know, but if they’re meant to be working together, Nico should be able to say what he’s whispering out loud for them all. Jesse forces a stoic expression while internally his eyes roll hard. He doesn’t want to have to deal with another person who just can’t push themselves the way they need.

When Nico and Simon finish their hushed conversation, Simon stands and interrupts the girl’s adoption hearing hosted by Sawyer. “The mall is closing in less than half an hour so we don’t have much time past that. Does anyone have any songs in mind for us to use this round?”

There’s nothing but stares as Simon waits for a response. Jesse looks at everyone and all he sees are empty heads, no thoughts whatsoever, just people waiting for someone else to answer. So he stands and takes charge as always.

“I believe all of us can reach an impressively high register, just based on our speaking voices, so maybe a song that’s high so we can show that off? Any ideas there?”

There’s more silence until he sees Tracy hesitate. They don’t have time for hesitation, so he calls her out without a second thought. “Tracy, right? You look like you have something to suggest?”

She looks taken aback, shocked, nervous. She shouldn’t be so surprised that someone can catch on to her wish to speak. “Umm, like, Ariana Grande?”

Jesse forces down his own second-guessing. “Yeah, like her. Some song that has high parts we can all do.”

“But not too high,” Simon adds suddenly. Jesse gives him a look as if asking him what the hell he’s talking about. Before he can actually ask, Simon leans over. “Nico has a voice, I would say, a little lower than yours. I don’t know if he can go all that high.”

That’s understandable to Jesse. He wants to push the underclassmen, but as seniors they should help them as well, not force them to do something that they won’t excel in. But Nico should be able to say something himself. He nods and turns to face the girls again anyway. “A song that’s higher but has parts that aren’t overwhelmingly high.”

He clears up practically nothing, but Tracy seems to get it well enough. “How about Bloodline?”

Zoe shakes her head. “No cursing. Our friends doing Hall of Fame tried to do 24K Magic by Bruno Mars but were rejected for curses and suggestive content.”

Jesse didn’t know about any of that but he assumes it’s true. Zoe has no reason to lie about it and she had stayed at the table when he and Mai left to play games. “Okay, any other ideas?”

“Same album, Bad Idea?” Tracy puts a second finger up like she’s simply listing all of her ideas one by one.

“I like it.” Simon speaks quickly, before Jesse can say anything else. Truthfully, Jesse feels there could be far better options, but when Trinh and Sawyer both agree, he feels outnumbered. He locks eyes with Zoe who nods as well. 

“That’s one of the better songs. If nobody else has a good option, I’m in.” Ren nods as he speaks, tapping his foot on the ground.

The only person who hasn’t spoken is Nico. Jesse stares at him for a moment before the boy looks up as if sensing he’s being glared at. 

Jesse meets his eye for a grand total of ten seconds before Nico talks, shortly and coldly. “Bad Idea is good.”

“Good.” Jesse responds in the same manner. He feels Simon and Sawyer glaring at him as the girls go back to muttering to each other. He can see how the others may think he’s out of line, but Nico has said a total of four words out loud, simply approving the idea someone else came up with. There’s no energy, no effort to even seem willing. Jesse doesn’t know how he’s going to work well with Nico this round.

Still, he sticks around as the other sophomores get picked up to go home and the other seniors leave together as they arrived. The sun is barely peeking out over the horizon, shadows long and reaching over the stilling lawn. Jesse already texted Chan their song choice and it’s already gotten approved. All he does now as he waits for Nico to get a ride home is read through the same physics powerpoint he’d looked at that afternoon.

He looks up every now and then, seeing if Nico is still alive. He couldn’t care less, but he can’t have police asking him where some sophomore kid disappeared to.

The last time he looks up, he sees Nico looking at him as well. He holds eye contact until Nico looks away and scratches the back of his head. His voice is barely audible when he starts talking. “My mom can’t come pick me up anymore. Could you give me a ride, please?”

Sighing, Jesse stands. He may not favor the guy, but he can’t leave him alone like this. “Yeah, text me your address so I can put it in my GPS.”

A/N 2: Thanks for taking the chance on this :P