❦𝓓𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓮𝔀𝓻𝓵𝓭❦

of a man who cannot feel her storm,

while I drown

in the flood she left behind.

I feel like a spider,

strung with longing,

spin webs from torn ribs

to catch the ghost of her smile.

Her laugh...

a blade I swallow each morning,

thanking it

for the pain.

I would tear the stars

from the throat of the heavens

just to watch her eyes

glimmer one more time.

My love is not gentle,

it is blood and bone and burning rope.

It is sleepless nights

stitched with screams

no one hears.

This is love,

where I am the pyre

and she,

the flame

that never stays

but never dies.

It crowns you at noon,

and by dusk

you are a footnote

misprinted in someone else’s memory.

You walk as though the earth tilts for your footsteps,

yet the earth has buried kings

who thought the same.

You are a chapter.

In one book,

you are the hero,

all light and trembling bravery.

In another,

you are the villain,

the quiet arsonist of someone’s heaven,

the hand that struck the match

and called it warmth.

But in most…

you are not even ink.

The universe does not pause

when your heart breaks.

The stars do not dim

because your name is forgotten.

We are sparks

arguing with the sun

about our brightness.

Dust with ambition.

Breath pretending to be permanent.

Stardust maybe..

..but still only dust.

they sit beside you

and still manage to make the silence louder.

She was winter in human form,

and I,

fool that I am,

mistook frostbite for affection.

My heart once knew the shape of home,

knew the rhythm of belonging,

but love…

love made me kneel in a collapsing temple

and call it sacred.

We were broken before we began,

two fractures pretending to be whole,

ceilings caving in

while we hoped otherwise,

through the dust of our own decay.

Yet still,

I stayed.

Because even a dying fire

feels like warmth

to a man who has never known the sun.

But I was never enough to keep her.

She scattered herself into other nights,

let others trace constellations on her skin,

then returned to me,

with hands that smelled like absence,

and told me my pain

was an overreaction.

As though my heart

wasn’t bleeding in plain sight.

As though betrayal

was just another word

for insecurity.

She made me disappear slowly,

not all at once,

no, that would have been mercy...

but piece by piece,

until I became

a shadow

of a memory

she barely acknowledged.

I was only real

when she needed something.

A voice to soothe her storms,

a body to fill her emptiness,

a name she could whisper

when everyone else had left,

a compass navigating her,

through the storm of life.

And when she was full again,

I was discarded like a used prayer,

left unanswered

on the floor of her indifference.

I reached for her,

not desperately,

just enough to say

I'm still here.

But only silence answered me;

like a grave that had already closed.

Now my heart...

it doesn’t break anymore.

It shatters in slow motion,

over and over,

a ritual of quiet destruction

no one ever sees.

I try to gather what’s left,

but the pieces don’t fit,

they remember her shape too well.

And every time I try to heal,

I re-open

what she never intended to close.

There is no escape from this...

not in sleep,

not in noise,

not in the arms of distraction.

Just an endless echo of her absence

carved into everything I am.

And beneath it all,

like a curse I can’t outrun,

a truth I wish was a lie

keeps whispering through the wreckage;

you were never enough.

Not then.

Not now.

Not ever.

a mind too deep

for the shallow spaces She was given.

She could create beauty effortlessly,

but when it came to Herself,

She faltered...

as if She had been taught

She was the one thing not worth saving.

She needed love.

Real love.

The kind that stays.

But when it found Her,

She recoiled...

because pain had always been consistent,

and love had always left.

So She trusted the wound

more than the hand trying to heal it.

She carried too much...

too early,

too quietly.

And She learned to endure

instead of live.

God, She just wanted to be normal,

to breathe without weight,

to feel without drowning.

But Her difference was Her brilliance,

and Her brilliance was Her burden.

And it was killing Her softly.

I loved Her.

I love Her still...

with something that does not end

just because we did.

Because love like this

does not belong to time.

It remains,

unchanged,

unclaimed,

unreturned.

I pray for Her still…

that one day

She sees what I saw,

and chooses to stay

for Herself.

I’m capable and have capacity.

I can now push myself when I’m tired or emotionally dysregulated and not experience severe consequences.

I can keep a clean-ish house.

I enjoy being social.

I have time and can do multiple things in a day.

Things to develop in 2026

I can keep cooking and believe I can find ways to make it easier on myself.

I can lessen avoiding conflict.

I can do anything for 5 minutes. Any day.

SUN

Identity built on originality. Needs to be different, not for attention, but for self-respect.

Thinks ahead of the curve. Future-focused, innovative, mentally fast.

Strong individualism. Hates being boxed in, labeled, or told how to be.

Operates from logic over emotion. Feelings exist, but are filtered through reason.

Natural observer of society. Sees patterns in people, trends, systems.

Values freedom + authenticity above approval. Will walk away if controlled.

Drawn to unconventional paths: careers, relationships, lifestyles.

Loyal to ideals, causes, and people—just not in a clingy way.

Social, but needs space. Can disappear to recharge mentally.

Resistant to tradition unless it actually makes sense.

At best: visionary, progressive, independent thinker.

At worst: detached, stubborn, emotionally aloof, contrarian for sport.

MOON

Processes emotions mentally first, emotionally second. Thinks about feelings instead of sinking into them.

Needs emotional freedom. Clingy dynamics = instant shutdown.

Feels safest being different. Belonging comes from authenticity, not fitting in.

Emotionally detached but aware. Knows what’s happening, just doesn’t drown in it.

Bonds through friendship, ideas, and shared vision, not heavy emotional displays.

Values honesty over comfort. Would rather hear the truth than be emotionally coddled.

Can intellectualize emotions to avoid vulnerability.

Needs space during emotional stress to regain clarity.

Emotionally loyal, but in a non-traditional way. Consistency > constant reassurance.

Drawn to unusual people, unconventional relationships, and unique emotional dynamics.

Struggles with expressing needs in the moment; realizes them later.

At best: emotionally intelligent, objective, supportive without smothering.

At worst: distant, unavailable, dismissive of emotional intensity.

ASCENDANT

Physical appearance can vary greatly! They don't have one physical trait that truly defines them; each Aquarius ascendant will look very different from the others.

Gives an unpredictable, intriguing vibe. Hard to pin down, easy to remember.

Projects cool detachment. Friendly, but not overly warm or emotionally obvious.

Strong observer energy. Watches the room before engaging.

Style is often nonconventional: edgy, minimalist, futuristic, or oddly specific.

Moves through life on their own terms. Resists expectations instinctively.

Social, but selectively. Prefers interesting minds over familiar faces.

Appears independent, self-sufficient, sometimes unbothered—even when deeply engaged.

Attracts unusual people and unexpected situations.

Reacts to new environments with curiosity, not emotion.

Can seem aloof or intimidating at first, then surprisingly open once engaged.

At best: original, mentally sharp, effortlessly unique.

At worst: emotionally distant, hard to read, contrarian by default.

MERCURY

Thinks non-linear. Jumps ahead, connects dots others don’t even see yet.

Communicates objectively and bluntly. Says the truth, not what sounds nice.

Strong original opinions. Not easily influenced by groupthink.

Curious about systems, society, technology, psychology, the future.

Prefers debates, brainstorming, and idea-sharing over emotional conversations.

Can sound detached or ironic, even when deeply invested.

Mentally independent. Needs freedom to think or the mind locks up.

Excellent at seeing the big picture, weak on mundane details.

Learns best through experimentation, discussion, and breaking rules.

Communicates in sudden insights, downloads, and “random but accurate” takes.

Struggles with patience for slow thinkers or repetitive conversations.

At best: visionary thinker, brilliant problem-solver, innovative communicator.

At worst: argumentative, contrarian, emotionally tone-deaf.

VENUS

Falls in love with the mind first. Attraction starts as friendship, conversation, curiosity.

Needs freedom inside relationships. Possession kills desire instantly.

Loves in a non-traditional way. Labels, rules, and scripts feel optional.

Values authenticity over performance. Be real or don’t bother.

Drawn to unconventional, unique, or slightly “out there” people.

Shows affection through inclusion, support, and shared ideas, not constant reassurance.

Prefers partners who respect independence and individuality.

Can detach emotionally if love becomes too heavy or dramatic.

Prefers relationships that feel equal, progressive, and mentally stimulating.

Needs space to miss you—distance keeps desire alive.

Can confuse others by being warm one moment, distant the next.

At best: open-minded, loyal, refreshing, genuinely accepting.

At worst: emotionally unavailable, commitment-averse, inconsistent.

MARS

Acts from ideas and principles, not impulse or emotion.

Motivated by change, progress, rebellion, and innovation.

Hates being told what to do—will resist purely on principle.

Takes action in unpredictable bursts. Quiet, then suddenly decisive.

Fights for causes, people, and beliefs rather than personal ego.

Sexual energy is experimental, unconventional, mentally charged.

Needs freedom in how desire is expressed—control kills momentum.

Anger is cool and detached, but firm. Cuts off rather than explodes.

Works best independently or in loosely structured teams.

Drawn to unconventional challenges and unusual goals.

Can procrastinate if uninspired; unstoppable when aligned with a vision.

At best: innovative, courageous, ahead-of-their-time executor.

At worst: erratic, stubborn, emotionally disconnected, passive-aggressive.

⟢ Please support me by reposting, liking, following, and commenting on this post. If it doesn't resonate with you, please remember that a birth chart must be read as a whole.

If your natal Saturn aspects your Mercury or sits in the 3rd house, your voice may develop slowly but with depth. Early on, you may doubt your intelligence or take longer to express yourself. Yet over time, your thinking becomes precise and authoritative. You may be suitable for careers such as editor, legal writer, technical communicator, translator, policy drafter, archivist, researcher, or academic roles that reward careful reasoning rather than speed. If your natal Sun or chart ruler is in the 2nd house, financial stability may take time to build because you learn through experience rather than risk. You tend to grow wealth and confidence gradually, step by step. Quick wins matter less than long-term security. You may excel in careers such as finance, investments, accounting, procurement, entrepreneurship, real estate, or resource management. If your natal Moon is placed in the 7th house, your emotional well-being is closely tied to the quality of your working relationships. You may need time to understand what kind of team, manager, or partnership truly supports you. Early jobs may feel draining if the environment is cold, competitive, or isolating. Once you find collaborative and respectful spaces, your productivity becomes steady and consistent. You may be suited for careers such as partnership management, customer success, public relations, recruiting, legal assistance, event coordination, as well as social-impact roles like community outreach, advocacy work, nonprofit program coordination, case management, humanitarian organizations, or consultancy positions built around trust, mediation, and supporting others directly. If your natal Venus is in Capricorn or conjunct Saturn, your career choices are rarely impulsive. You tend to commit only when something feels sustainable. Success often comes later because you refuse shortcuts. You may thrive in careers such as management, corporate strategy, design leadership, architecture, HR, diplomacy, or any role that blends responsibility with long-term vision. If your natal Jupiter is in Virgo or the 6th house, growth comes through skill-building rather than luck. You improve through practice, certifications, and hands-on learning. Your expertise compounds quietly over time. You may be suitable for careers such as analyst, lab technician, editor, healthcare specialist, auditor, quality control, data specialist, or education support roles. If your MC ruler is placed in the 4th house, your professional clarity may emerge later because personal foundations come first. Home, emotional security, or family matters may shape your timeline. Once your base is stable, your career accelerates naturally. You may be suited for real estate, psychotherapy, education, hospitality, interior design, remote work, or home-based businesses. If your chart contains little fire energy, you may not feel constant ambition or urgency like others do. Your drive builds slowly and internally rather than loudly. You work best at your own pace. You may prefer sustainable careers such as research, writing, archiving, design, administration, long-term consulting, or behind-the-scenes roles where depth matters more than visibility.

◈ Remember: if everyone else seems ahead, it doesn’t mean you’re late. You may just be on a slower timeline, but that doesn't mean you're not going to succeed. Ask yourself what "success" really means to you.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

⟢ More career observations coming soon.

I'm really interested in knowing what placements may have people pleasing and agreeable personalities . Some people are extremely opportunistic and some are but def not as aggressive as these people leading to a bit more agreeable but still strong personalities. It seems to be only the agreeable and non confrontational side that seems to different. But tbh some people are just more kind and empathetic and understanding I hate to assume they are weak or som.

I think harmonious placements like libra placements can maybe be like this. Libra Venus/ Sun / Moon/Asc.

Also Taurus people . Taurus Acs/Venus.

I do not think everyone with these placements are like this that would be utterly foolish.

I think each of these placements have different application of the agreeableness like it comes out in different type of situations uk.

Also I feel like positions which are afraid of rejection and desire acceptance can be considered in this category as well. Like especially during youth.

Ex lilith in harsh aspects, lilith in 1st house.

But this could be temp until they find their strength and confidence .

I saw a website that have really good points in this topic I will link it below.

January 26, 2026

What are you grateful for today?

Welcome to my gratitude support group! All are welcome to be a part of the gratitude crew. Re-blog, write a note or send an ask as often as makes sense for you (just once, every day, twice a year, a few times a month— doesn’t matter!)

I tag parts of the crew almost every day. If you’d like to be on the tag list let me know.

All posts will be tagged ‘resiliencewithin’s daily gratitude group’.

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Any little step is better than no steps! 🐢