*This post was originally made on my Patreon on June 5, 2018. You can follow my journal there for just $1/month.*
Iām going to work on the journaling aspect of this Patreon more so because you people apparently like me (I have no idea why, lol) and because my therapist said so.
Right now Iāmā¦ a wreck but a sorta manageable one? I really need to start creating categories and degrees of āwreckā because I always kind of some sort of wreck.
Right now Iām sitting in one of my exās bed working on all kinds of Patreon-related type stuff because this is the first time in awhile Iāve had the time to do so and because Iām in a mild panic about my impending move.
Iām going to slowly deconstruct everything in that last paragraph for you.
Iām currently in California in my sorta hometown to drop-off my cats with my ex Justin. We are not seeing one another. We are not sleeping together. Neither of us want to get back together. We are just friends and he offered to watch the cats we originally adopted together while I get ready to move and figure out my next steps.
My lease is up June 28th. I have an entire house to pack-up and to put in storage by June 28th. Between now and then, I am still working my normal schedule (plus taking any opportunities to cover because Iām more worried about money than my health right now) and going to Philadelphia to watch the sister I help financially support graduate high school.
Since said sisterās junkie mother is in the picture, Iām going to have to get a hotel room during that trip so my sister can escape her and we can spend sometime together in which I donāt beat her mother to death. This, along with the fact I literally just blew $720 at the ER vet because Copper decided eating foxtails was a good idea, Iām really worried about money.
Thankfully, my friend Catherine is allowing me to stay in her house while sheās in Alaska for the summer which gives me time to work at the club a bit longer and save some more money since itās pretty much hemorrhaging out of my bank account right now (my scanner also broke this week and I had to replace that to scan film). Unfortunately, her house is not cat-friendly so I had to spend another valuable resource, time, to take them the 9 hours to California on the only days off I actually had available this month.
I feel like time is moving unbelievably fast. If I take a wrong turn while running an errand, I get upset because of the wasted minutes that could have been used to the literally millions of things on my to-do list.
Iām shooting a lot but donāt have time to edit AND post on social media AND make Patreon post about it. I usually end up just uploading what I have to dropbox and hope all the $15+ Patrons notice it.
Iām not sure if this is poor time management or if I just donāt have enough goddamn time to make money, manage my life, stay in shape, socialize so I donāt lose my mind, and bring my passions to complete fruition. I know a good amount of it is honestly me not having enough time because I work much more than Iām scheduled and also because some sets I over-edit. Iām going to be working more on fixing that second one but I canāt really change the first one given how tight money it for me right now.
Anyway, thatās my life at this very moment. My goal for this month is to really fucking buckle down on Patreon and managing time in a way thcat caters to Patreon because the club money-train is about to end since I cannot bear living in Phoenix much longer.
Sorry if this is all melodramatic; Iām an anxious wreck waiting to hear back from the vet about Copper. I love her so goddamn much.
Above is a 3-D photo I took of Destiny Fatality on a 35mm camera. Get excited for a lot more of these.
@destinyfatality x @angiemariedreams
Check-out the full 3-D set on my Patreon
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